Author Topic: FUCK !  (Read 58934 times)

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rawbertson.

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #180 on: November 02, 2010, 09:57:00 AM »
i went on plenty of fish again, i got some emails from some decent girls, i wish i wasnt at owrk so i could post, there is this one that is actually really fucking hot on that ok cupid and she actually messaged me but i probably blew it in my re-message

so anyway on plent of fish this fucking disgusting ass girl writes me a message (and trust me girls never write me messages) and i write her back and she says "add me to msn [email protected]" or something like that, lol. anyway she lives in this small ass town like 30 min away and like maybe 2 lines into the conversation she says "we should hang out sometime" then maybe 2 more lines int othe convo she says "i have this idea lets watch paranormal activity 2 then hang out after" then "what are you doing tonight"

she is just dyin to fuck, i am playing settlers tonight so fuck that, i might just go hit it, i dont know im just so jonsed but she looks like dog shit. in high school we had this ex convict who was apparently reformed come in and talk to our law class and he said "a hole is a hole and a pair of lips is a pair of lips".  there is this normal lookin chick who said she wants to hang out with me next week.

 is that greasy if im banging this baneling then switching up next week to the normal one? the gross chick probs doesnt care if i bang her once then bounce cause she is getting to bang rawb (a self proclaimed celebrity) and to her i am probably next level
ONTARIO CANADA

Ronald Wilson Reagan

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #181 on: November 02, 2010, 10:31:40 AM »
Haha, getting taste reccomendations from the ex convict who came to school to threaten you.
Are you a kook? If you would say this, the answer is “YES”
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Choad Muskrat

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #182 on: November 02, 2010, 11:29:14 AM »
Haha, getting taste reccomendations from the ex convict who came to school to threaten you.

There was a janitor in my highschool that had '69' tatooed on the inside of his lower lip and he would go up to chicks in the halls and do that 2 finger pussy licking gesture while pulling down his lower lip to show the tat.

I have no idea how he didn't get fired.




Donkey Lips

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #183 on: November 02, 2010, 11:50:26 AM »
the gross chick probs doesnt care if i bang her once then bounce cause she is getting to bang rawb (a self proclaimed celebrity) and to her i am probably next level
That's god damn right. Post a pic and we'll rate her later. We won't steer you wrong.

Inbred Jed

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #184 on: November 02, 2010, 01:28:31 PM »
What is Settlers? Some kins of wagon train LARP shit?

saucy ragu

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #185 on: November 02, 2010, 09:25:46 PM »
What is Settlers? Some kins of wagon train LARP shit?

I hope so, that was the line that had me gasping.

At my old job at a bowling alley, we had a new mechanic for the summer; a husky dude from New Jersey who claimed many amazing sexual conquests and acted like his dick was the Covenant. He once told me that all you need to look for is a "warm, moist hole." I asked him if he'd fuck a dude then and he stomped off.
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ice nine

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #186 on: November 02, 2010, 09:46:09 PM »



I;m sure i;m not the only dc/monster/subaru type guy here

Donkey Lips

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #187 on: November 12, 2010, 04:56:33 AM »
i went on plenty of fish again, i got some emails from some decent girls, i wish i wasnt at owrk so i could post, there is this one that is actually really fucking hot on that ok cupid and she actually messaged me but i probably blew it in my re-message

so anyway on plent of fish this fucking disgusting ass girl writes me a message (and trust me girls never write me messages) and i write her back and she says "add me to msn [email protected]" or something like that, lol. anyway she lives in this small ass town like 30 min away and like maybe 2 lines into the conversation she says "we should hang out sometime" then maybe 2 more lines int othe convo she says "i have this idea lets watch paranormal activity 2 then hang out after" then "what are you doing tonight"

she is just dyin to fuck, i am playing settlers tonight so fuck that, i might just go hit it, i dont know im just so jonsed but she looks like dog shit. in high school we had this ex convict who was apparently reformed come in and talk to our law class and he said "a hole is a hole and a pair of lips is a pair of lips".?  there is this normal lookin chick who said she wants to hang out with me next week.

 is that greasy if im banging this baneling then switching up next week to the normal one? the gross chick probs doesnt care if i bang her once then bounce cause she is getting to bang rawb (a self proclaimed celebrity) and to her i am probably next level
It's Friday. It's a balmy 47 degrees in my area. That means it's time to hear more rawb online dating adventures. So tell me sport, how's the fishing trip been this week?

Beer Keg Peg Leg

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #188 on: November 12, 2010, 05:03:46 AM »
yeah rawby, you baneling busted any ass recently?

S. Samyro

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #189 on: November 20, 2010, 09:57:01 PM »
Someone find me some pictures of Rawb. I want to do something with them.

(not jack off to them)

(maybe)

(no homo)

Watson

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #190 on: December 01, 2010, 01:05:33 PM »
I wasn't regularly coming to Slap for awhile, but thanks to a slow day at work just had the chance to read this thread front to back. One of the funniest threads I can remember in my Slap history.

Rawb, this shit is bumped like the many many cervixes you have bumped into oblivion with your finger blasting prowess.

Please don't leave us just hangin'. The fat chick with small tits?! The gross Harry Potter chick?! The normal looking chick?!

We need to know.

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RipGrip

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #192 on: December 01, 2010, 08:35:49 PM »
epic. we at least need a 'day in the life'

Watson

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #193 on: December 02, 2010, 12:39:12 AM »
RipGrip you need to make a Rawb sculpture. Fuckin microphone and a blunt in one hand, knuckle deep fingerblastin with the other, glasses all hittin the ground after landing a v-heel and shit.

You know how many of those you could sell on Slap?

magicstickyhand

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #194 on: December 02, 2010, 03:38:52 AM »
RipGrip you need to make a Rawb sculpture. Fuckin microphone and a blunt in one hand, knuckle deep fingerblastin with the other, glasses all hittin the ground after landing a v-heel and shit.

You know how many of those you could sell on Slap?
millions
.......
any new story's rawb ??
i think i was,anyways

rawbertson.

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #195 on: December 02, 2010, 09:09:23 AM »
fuck lately has just been fucked.

i went to the dog park and met this girl off plenty of fish. she had this awesome golden retriever just like mine but a little smaller. i said "i miss school, i love how you can just take a day off if you arent feeling it" and she is like "well i dont take days off because of that" and just general bitchyness eventually led to her being very opinionated and pissed me off cause it was cold out.

then she says "you dont smoke weed do you?" and i was like "no, of course not" and shes like "ok good, cause that is a deal breaker. im in college to become a cop". convo went really awkward from there and we parted ways she seemed to want to meet again. i went on msn and she was on sayin whats up hey doll all this kitten shit, then i just said "you know what its not that i care about the weed thing i just fuckin hate cops" and block+delete.


there is this MDMA friend i have, last weekend he did MDMA, mushrooms, and acid all at once and staye dup for 3 days straight. he was acting really fucked up about a year ago like the dude who took too much acid on slc punk but now he seems fine which is weird because he seems to be doing more drugs than ever.


he lives with these korean pro gamers they are amzing at sc2 but pro for wow specifically (just platinum league in sc2 ) and they were also tripping and this Harvey's employee chick came over and was listening to me play guitar. then we sung the night they drove old dixie down toghether. she is fat but has big titties, but she is short so she doesnt seem as fat.  anyway so we part ways i came back to MDMA's last fiday she was there and i told her her hair looked nice she got it dyed or whatever and she was SUPER diggin me, but i didnt get a chance to get alone with her. she seemed so impressed that i have a car. i think its a done deal but i have this weird thing on my dick at the base its like a zit or something FUCK
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Inbred Jed

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #196 on: December 02, 2010, 09:25:03 AM »
thank you

Insatiable

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #197 on: December 02, 2010, 09:54:37 AM »
then she says "you dont smoke weed do you?" and i was like "no, of course not" and shes like "ok good, cause that is a deal breaker. im in college to become a cop". convo went really awkward from there and we parted ways she seemed to want to meet again. i went on msn and she was on sayin whats up hey doll all this kitten shit, then i just said "you know what its not that i care about the weed thing i just fuckin hate cops" and block+delete.
That is nothing short of a boss maneuver.  Breaking future cops' hearts has got to feel so good.  Fuck the police.

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #198 on: December 02, 2010, 12:20:40 PM »
thank you rawbertson

pmatute

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #199 on: December 02, 2010, 01:33:46 PM »
Made my day.

Watson

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #200 on: December 02, 2010, 03:05:23 PM »
i think its a done deal but i have this weird thing on my dick at the base its like a zit or something FUCK


Happens to the best of us Rawb. Pop that shit, it'll go away in time for you to titty fuck the short fatty with the tits.

Tale Crab

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #201 on: December 02, 2010, 03:09:58 PM »
"you know what its not that i care about the weed thing i just fuckin hate cops" and block+delete.
I nearly choked.

smokecrack

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #202 on: December 02, 2010, 10:06:05 PM »
holy shit, rawb has a dick zit! thanks for the great update, man.

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #203 on: December 02, 2010, 10:17:18 PM »
KFC should give cockatiels with their variety bucket, so you can eat one bird and love another.

Ronald Wilson Reagan

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #204 on: December 02, 2010, 10:43:07 PM »
Rawb is down with all sorts of nasty fat chicks, but when it comes to a police chick, he draws the line.
Fan-fucking-tastic.
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j....soy.....

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #205 on: December 02, 2010, 10:50:42 PM »
i turned off avatars cause shit was too slow....wake me up when someone makes one with lazers shooting out of a finger with the word 'BLASTOISE' below it....

kilgore.

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #206 on: December 02, 2010, 10:58:21 PM »
get this man on Howard Stern ASAP.
No holds barred, til labias say "free us"
then its straight to your kids' school, wine coolers in the Prius

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #207 on: December 03, 2010, 01:08:47 AM »
i turned off avatars cause shit was too slow....wake me up when someone makes one with lazers shooting out of a finger with the word 'BLASTOISE' below it....

you're welcome


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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #208 on: December 03, 2010, 07:49:04 AM »
Fuck, rawb seriously has kept it real.
I had a dick zit once rawb, i went and showed my doctor in a panic, and he was like, "no worries bro, its a dick zit, wear a condom when you fuck sluts, brah"

rawbertson.

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Re: FUCK !
« Reply #209 on: December 03, 2010, 08:31:08 AM »
i was worried it might be stds but i have been eating a lot of mcdonalds. it seems to be going away. i only ever banged 1 girl without a condom anyway and she was my girlfriend for like a year im pretty sure i would have already died cause that was a few years ago now. although can you get shit from a girl suckin your dick raw? one time the worst worst girl ever sucked my dick for like 2 seconds, but that was like 3 or 4 years ago. i always felt this horrible feeling like i might be giving my girlfriend aids but im pretty sure she would have been dead already, she was weak.
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