URGENT: There is a mouse or small rat in my apartment with my son please help

[Sizzle]

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I can piss in your sisters mouth at a rate approaching a gallon per minute

[close]

That is quite impressive, I’m happy to share her socials with you

[Gene_Harrogate]

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Don't worry, both of you are handling the situation in a perfectly reasonable fashion.

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How would you handle it?

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By wishing death upon their loved ones, obvi.

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so i'm wrong for what i said but you have no issue with what he said?

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My original (clearly sarcastic) comment-
Don't worry, both of you are handling the situation in a perfectly reasonable fashion.

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So I'm acting equally unreasonably? You're really playing the enlightened centrist card about some guy saying something disgusting about my child completely unprovoked?

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I'm not splitting hairs between who is being more/less/equally offensive to the other, both of you were saying  hateful shit.

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False equivalency and also you're allowed to match their level of hatefulness without it being escalation.

You can't walk up to somebody and tell them to suck your dick. But if somebody walks up to you and says that, and you say it back, you aren't in the wrong. Why would you get all sanctimonious to the guy that was just responding and not the guy instigating for literally no reason.

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You keep inferring that I'm somehow coming to the other guys defense and I'm not.  The big difference is you're continuing the conversation and they aren't, that's all.  I'll fully concede that what they said initially was fucked up and uncalled for.

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I respect you and your general point of view man but the exchange went

A: Shit i have a rat in my apartment any advice on what i should do because i can't get traps anywhere at 2am
B: The rat is gonna eat your baby's face while you sleep you transplant because you live in filth here's an article about a dead baby
A: I hope your mom gets fucking cancer and die
B: blah blah blah you have a son out of wedlock (by the way who even gives a fuck about that anymore and we have a great relationship why rush a fucking marriage we're gonna end up doing anyway when we're more set up) your girl is a whore blah blah you have a fentanyl addiction blah blah all this other nasty shit)
A: Do you just want to actually fight in real life and stop going back and forth

Then it pretty much ended with him, that's not me dragging it with him. I'm just replying to all these comments because i'm justifiably pretty upset at how vile the initial comment was and it's genuinely hurtful to see people not even acknowledging that just because I'm acting like a kook.

Ok when I said "continuing the conversation and they aren't" I was talking about with me, not each other.  After re-reading it though I see that wasn't clear. 

In all fairness though his initial comment wasn't "B: The rat is gonna eat your baby's face" it was- "B: Go to bed and hope it doesn't chew the baby's face off"  (which as a father myself wouldn't sit well with me either)
You countered by wishing a slow painful death on their mother.  Which doesn't strike me as "matching" to use your term.

[BartHarleyJarvis]

I’ll fight you, sizzlechest.

[slappies]

I hope all of you are eaten by rats.

[Freelancevagrant]

I hope all of you are eaten by rats.

[BartHarleyJarvis]

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I hope all of you are eaten by rats.

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Careful, Sizzle WILL jump into your DMs

[slappies]

I fear no DM.

[Síota]

[Uh Oh]

I fear no DM.

domestic mouse?

[Natas Fauxas]

i squashed a mouse with a subwoofer once and said

"bass in yo face"



shoutout public enemy

It was a sub not a 8 track right?

[WPG]

Had a mouse in the house growing up. I was super scared but remeber chasing it up some stairs and my dad or older brother taking a full Slaphot with a hockey stick. The Mouse flew 35 feet out the backdoor into a neighbours yard. My advice to anyone with a rodent would be to buy a hockey stick, at the very least you could slash its head off

[pizzafliptofakie]

I hope all of you are eaten by rats.

I resent that

[nonickname]

My buddy had rats that lived under this giant wooden framed hottub in his backyard...but then they moved into his garage and used the remnant tubes for the built in central vacuum to enter the house...then it was on. Blocked all entrances with steel wool and putty, traps of every variety (old skool snap, glue, new plastic ones) set up and moved every morning. Highlight or lowlight depending on your point of view was when he found 9 babies in his garbage can. He had no idea what to do...so he filled it up with water from the hose and put the lid to drown them. Problem was he didn't want to touch them when dead...so I "strained" them with a mini garden pitchfork while he poured the water out on his lawn. Fun times.

Anyway hope the rats are gone - and work on finding/blocking entry points (which can be super small).

Also a GBH reference...my old ass brain had them mixed up with BFG.

[RichardBarkley]

Is it really safe to be bringing up a kid in a fent apartment with rats in New York?

Like maybe rats are a symptom rather than a cause.

[EdLawndale]

Highlight or lowlight depending on your point of view was when he found 9 babies in his garbage can. He had no idea what to do...so he filled it up with water from the hose and put the lid to drown them.

Fuck your buddy.

[nonickname]

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Highlight or lowlight depending on your point of view was when he found 9 babies in his garbage can. He had no idea what to do...so he filled it up with water from the hose and put the lid to drown them.

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Fuck your buddy.

Yeah. Not a great situation to be sure - and getting the call to help him figure out how to dispose of them wasn't how I wanted to start my morning either...

[companguero]

Sizzle, it's a smidge over 24 hours since your first post. I've enjoyed reading about your predicament and the back'n'forths.

Could you do me a favor and maybe put your speakers near the wall then play this melancholy song for "Fievel"?
(I've named your new house guest Fievel)



It's just, I can't help thinking how we're both awake on opposite sides of the country... somewhere... out there.

Also, and this is a big ask but could you recite this aloud for Fievel?

"squeek.
squeek squeek gnaw.

gnaw gnaw gnaw.

squeek gnaw."

[Jewel Runner]

Sizzle, it's a smidge over 24 hours since your first post. I've enjoyed reading about your predicament and the back'n'forths.

Could you do me a favor and maybe put your speakers near the wall then play this melancholy song for "Fievel"?
(I've named your new house guest Fievel)



It's just, I can't help thinking how we're both awake on opposite sides of the country... somewhere... out there.

Also, and this is a big ask but could you recite this aloud for Fievel?

"squeek.
squeek squeek gnaw.

gnaw gnaw gnaw.

squeek gnaw."

Shit man that was beautiful  :'(

Edit: Fievel is a great name for the rat. It's part of the family now treat it right

[Gene_Harrogate]

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Sizzle, it's a smidge over 24 hours since your first post. I've enjoyed reading about your predicament and the back'n'forths.

Could you do me a favor and maybe put your speakers near the wall then play this melancholy song for "Fievel"?
(I've named your new house guest Fievel)



It's just, I can't help thinking how we're both awake on opposite sides of the country... somewhere... out there.

Also, and this is a big ask but could you recite this aloud for Fievel?

"squeek.
squeek squeek gnaw.

gnaw gnaw gnaw.

squeek gnaw."

[close]

Shit man that was beautiful  :'(

Edit: Fievel is a great name for the rat. It's part of the family now treat it right

Fievel Goes West is my jam.

[rukes]

Whenever I find rats nests around my property, I feed the babies to the chickens.

Pretty brutal, but that's the circle of life.

[companguero]

Whenever I find rats nests around my property, I feed the babies to the chickens.

Pretty brutal, but that's the circle of life.

Do you feed the babies anything?
Any last meal requests?

[boogs]

@Sizzle have I got the opportunity for you, to capitalize on the internet’s newfound interest in the pugilistic endeavors of random internet losers, I’d love to sign you up to a contract and represent you. I need a fighter next month to battle the wristwatch revival YouTuber who rebuilds pocket watches. His catchphrase is “tick, tick…. Here comes the boom!”

We’ll need to work on your branding and change the public’s perception about your lack of toughness (this thread where you announced your fear of mice certainly isn’t helping). Can you share some of your skills? Would be great if you could crush a watermelon between your legs or do long division in your head, literally anything marketable. Merch will be next, I’m thinking a “Sizzle x Victor Custom Rat Traps”. Thoughts?

maybe get him gatorade as a sponsor

[half staff]

get rodent sheriff, it's basically peppermint essential oils, rodents hate it and will [supposedly] stay in the walls and not cross the sheriff's border.

[ok boomer]

This hipster couple moved in 3 doors down from my mom and they saw a spider...and moved out. Well... went back to their parents house "until the spider situation is under control". Not totally related but I had to tell someone because I don't get it.

[steezenking]

Next post :

"A Junebug flew in my window. I've locked myself in the bathroom, send help."

[Freelancevagrant]

So we can all agree that sizzle is dead and any subsequent posts are being made by the mouse?

[Deputy Wendell]

oi!

[fulfillthedream]

i had this once living in China - i got a cat and then the BIG fucking rat tried to come back in only to see the cat which chased it out and i saw where the fucker came in frm and sealed that hole and never saw that fucker again.