Matt Berger interview

[CNieratko]

Canadian....

http://espn.go.com/action/skateboarding/blog/_/post/7359776/matt-berger

[trannies and mannies]

chris i thought for sure you would make a clever joke about his last name. similar to when you asked collin provost if people make provolone references to his last name haha

[Patrick Bateman]

Nieratko: producing horrible interviews since however long that fuck has been alive

[LOU.502]

Nieratko: producing horrible interviews since however long that fuck has been alive

ur a duuuush.

[ericw]

I actually thouroughly enjoy every single one of his interviews.

[ChronicBluntSlider]

Berger's sick, good interview.

[ice nine]

I have been dying to hear what this kids gotta say

[bakedRice]

I have been dying to hear what this kids gotta say

keep waiting cause this interview didnt offer up any substance.

[johnnymousedoom]

Nieratko: producing horrible interviews since however long that fuck has been alive

They already did that in a King Shit magazine. I think it was Nieratko or Carnie who had interviewed him then.

[CNieratko]

Yeah, here's the King Shit one:



Matt Berger


Because your last name is Burger, should I ask you about hamburgers?
No, because my last name is Berger.
That?s what I said, Burger.
My name is Berger.
BUR-GER!
Alright.
You don?t even know how to say your last name?
Apparently not.
How old are you?
16.
Grow up already. When I texted you before you said you were in school. Do you go to person school?
No. I go to public school.
A school for African Canadians?
Yeah, I guess.
Do they call black people in Canada African Canadians like we call them African American?
Uh, I don?t know.
It?s a yes or no question.
Then no. African Canadian? I?ve never heard that.
Then I guess they don?t. What do you hate about school so much? I heard you hate it.
Well, it?s school, who doesn?t hate school?
Teachers.
Well, kids like me aren?t teachers. I?m a student.
Are you a dumb dumb? Is that why you hate it?
Nope.
Tell me about the time you got lost trying to find the Timebomb Warehouse.
Damn. I don?t know if I should get in-depth on that story.
It?s an interview, Burger. It?s best to get in-depth.
I don?t know about that one though.
How about I tell it? You tried to get to the warehouse, got lost and got kicked out of the car.
I guess that?s a possibility.
Way to knock this interview out of the park, Burger!
Yeah, I?m killing it right now.
Kamloops? Is that where you?re from? Where the fuck is that? Is that the real name?
Yeah, that?s the real name.
That?s a stupid name for a town.
Damn, that?s shitty. It?s in the interior of BC.
You take a bus to Vancouver with a bunch of derelicts on the regular?
A bunch of what?
Derelicts.
What?s that? I don?t know what that is.
Stay in school, Burger.
Yeah, I?m killing it in English class so I?ll know that word in a little. Give me a couple months.
What?s your best weirdo bus story?
Haven?t really had any shitty Greyhound rides. I remember once there was a crackhead sitting across from me. She was trippy but other than that nothing really.
Did you give her five bucks for a blow job?
Nah, I thought I?d take a raincheck.
Understandable. Have you ever gotten a blow job in the back of a Greyhound Bus?
I can say I haven?t done that yet.
You got to live a little, Burger.
Have you?
Of course. Every one has but you. Let?s cut the bullshit already, what?s the deal with you and Koty Brown?
Koty Brown? I don?t even know who that is, dude.
Don?t play with me, I know that yous guys can?t stand each other.
What? Who is Koty Brown?
Really? You?re going to play him out like that? Like you don?t even know he exists?
Alright, I guess I?m playing him out that way.
Koty Brown. Toronto. Ring a bell?
A Toronto kid? Never met him.
Not what I heard. Heard he hates your guts.
Sick. Sounds like my kind of guy.
What did you do to his sister?
What the fuck are these questions?
I want to know why you hate him and why he hates you.
Why would I hate this guy?
I don?t know. I got an email that says you and him got in a fistfight and something to do with the sister.
Damn, I don?t think I got into a fistfight with Koty Brown. Especially since I never met the guy.
Do you have a sister?
Don?t even go there!
Was it Koty Brown and your sister? In the Library? With a candlestick?
Damn, fool. You?re going too far.
Just tell me whose sister was involved? Yours or his?
What the fuck, man? What the fuck? I don?t even know this guy.
You?re bullshitting me and wasting my time.
I?m a serious guy here. I don?t like to bullshit. I don?t fuck around. I don?t know Koty Brown.
If he kicked your ass, then he kicked your ass. Just admit it. Is that what happened?
What? No.
Then why did he call you an asshole in his interview?
In his interview he called me an asshole? Really? Damn.
He also called you Fur Burger.
That?s a new one, man. Way to get technical.
Have they taught you that word in English class yet?
No and I don?t think I want to know either.
Why? You like gay fish?
Gay fish?
If you don?t want to know what a Fur Burger is you must like fish sticks.
I don?t think I?ve ever eaten a fish stick.
I still think you?re a gay fish. You?re 16 years old you don?t know what a Fur Burger is?
I guess I?m out of the loop here, man.
You just stay the in the dark then, Burger. Now I understand why Koty Brown kicked your ass.
This is the King Shit interview right now?
No, that was the King Shit interview. It?s done now.

[stevedave]

^^that was WAY more entertaining than the ESPN one..

[kamltoe]

the ESPN one was pretty clinical, but good nonetheless. nice work.

Yeah, here's the King Shit one:



Matt Berger


Because your last name is Burger, should I ask you about hamburgers?
No, because my last name is Berger.
That?s what I said, Burger.
My name is Berger.
BUR-GER!
Alright.
You don?t even know how to say your last name?
Apparently not.
How old are you?
16.
Grow up already. When I texted you before you said you were in school. Do you go to person school?
No. I go to public school.
A school for African Canadians?
Yeah, I guess.
Do they call black people in Canada African Canadians like we call them African American?
Uh, I don?t know.
It?s a yes or no question.
Then no. African Canadian? I?ve never heard that.
Then I guess they don?t. What do you hate about school so much? I heard you hate it.
Well, it?s school, who doesn?t hate school?
Teachers.
Well, kids like me aren?t teachers. I?m a student.
Are you a dumb dumb? Is that why you hate it?
Nope.
Tell me about the time you got lost trying to find the Timebomb Warehouse.
Damn. I don?t know if I should get in-depth on that story.
It?s an interview, Burger. It?s best to get in-depth.
I don?t know about that one though.
How about I tell it? You tried to get to the warehouse, got lost and got kicked out of the car.
I guess that?s a possibility.
Way to knock this interview out of the park, Burger!
Yeah, I?m killing it right now.
Kamloops? Is that where you?re from? Where the fuck is that? Is that the real name?
Yeah, that?s the real name.
That?s a stupid name for a town.
Damn, that?s shitty. It?s in the interior of BC.
You take a bus to Vancouver with a bunch of derelicts on the regular?
A bunch of what?
Derelicts.
What?s that? I don?t know what that is.
Stay in school, Burger.
Yeah, I?m killing it in English class so I?ll know that word in a little. Give me a couple months.
What?s your best weirdo bus story?
Haven?t really had any shitty Greyhound rides. I remember once there was a crackhead sitting across from me. She was trippy but other than that nothing really.
Did you give her five bucks for a blow job?
Nah, I thought I?d take a raincheck.
Understandable. Have you ever gotten a blow job in the back of a Greyhound Bus?
I can say I haven?t done that yet.
You got to live a little, Burger.
Have you?
Of course. Every one has but you. Let?s cut the bullshit already, what?s the deal with you and Koty Brown?
Koty Brown? I don?t even know who that is, dude.
Don?t play with me, I know that yous guys can?t stand each other.
What? Who is Koty Brown?
Really? You?re going to play him out like that? Like you don?t even know he exists?
Alright, I guess I?m playing him out that way.
Koty Brown. Toronto. Ring a bell?
A Toronto kid? Never met him.
Not what I heard. Heard he hates your guts.
Sick. Sounds like my kind of guy.
What did you do to his sister?
What the fuck are these questions?
I want to know why you hate him and why he hates you.
Why would I hate this guy?
I don?t know. I got an email that says you and him got in a fistfight and something to do with the sister.
Damn, I don?t think I got into a fistfight with Koty Brown. Especially since I never met the guy.
Do you have a sister?
Don?t even go there!
Was it Koty Brown and your sister? In the Library? With a candlestick?
Damn, fool. You?re going too far.
Just tell me whose sister was involved? Yours or his?
What the fuck, man? What the fuck? I don?t even know this guy.
You?re bullshitting me and wasting my time.
I?m a serious guy here. I don?t like to bullshit. I don?t fuck around. I don?t know Koty Brown.
If he kicked your ass, then he kicked your ass. Just admit it. Is that what happened?
What? No.
Then why did he call you an asshole in his interview?
In his interview he called me an asshole? Really? Damn.
He also called you Fur Burger.
That?s a new one, man. Way to get technical.
Have they taught you that word in English class yet?
No and I don?t think I want to know either.
Why? You like gay fish?
Gay fish?
If you don?t want to know what a Fur Burger is you must like fish sticks.
I don?t think I?ve ever eaten a fish stick.
I still think you?re a gay fish. You?re 16 years old you don?t know what a Fur Burger is?
I guess I?m out of the loop here, man.
You just stay the in the dark then, Burger. Now I understand why Koty Brown kicked your ass.
This is the King Shit interview right now?
No, that was the King Shit interview. It?s done now.

^THIS, however, was a work of art. brilliant.

k