So after my post in here before about how I was pretty happy with being with my girlfriend and how we really talked all the bullshit out from the beginning to make sure we're on the same page as much as possible, we aren't together anymore. I can't lie and say I didn't know this would be a problem from the start when she started dating me without taking any kind of break whatsoever between me and her last boyfriend.
I remember asking her like... "So you aren't gonna take a break or any time to yourself at all?" like right when they broke up. I had a feeling that would be a problem because she doesn't really know who she is. Perfect example, I've been vegan for 2 years after doing a ton of research and just seeing an overwhelming amount of evidence that it is the healthiest diet period, so it only made sense to me to be eating that way. This girl ate normal food when we started dating, and as you can probably guess she switched over to what I was doing, and the second we broke up she went back to eating meat and shit. That doesn't bother me, but what did was that she put shit on twitter how it was "so liberating" to eat pizza with meat on it again after more than a year. As if I totally made you or pressured you to be like me in any way... I used to make her chicken and shit because I knew she still ate it.
Anyway, to get back to my point about her not taking a break, the "reason" we broke up was because we both agreed that she needed to take time to herself to figure out who she is because she "felt like she can't be dating anyone right now" until she figured it out. Turns out to me, that was all just fake and a lie, because she started talking to a guy I know and would even have called a friend about a month before we broke up and I believe regardless of what she says that that was the real reason she wanted to break up. I think that there was some truth in breaking up with the reason for being alone, but in her mind that just means not putting a title on anything. Like "If we're not dating then I'm technically alone and I could figure out who I am."
This was pretty much the last straw for me willing to talk any problems out with her in the future and possibly get back together, especially because of 1 other twitter post, "Like I'm not looking for a boyfriend or anything, but whatever happens happens". This is exactly what I said to her when we started talking, but the difference is, I know who I am. Just quoting what I said and having a different approach to dating someone isn't going to change results of your internal problems... What an insult. Through not knowing who she is, and just doing whatever I like doing, she basically had a fake relationship with me because I have no idea who she is now or what she really wanted to do that she was suppressing, and on top of leaving I know she lied to me. It's not cheating to do what she did, but it's pretty much the closest you can possibly get.
I have a certain comfort in knowing that no matter what happens I know any future relationship she pursues, whether it's just hooking up or dating someone or whatever, it will fail unless she can listen to what I told her she should do (just take time to yourself, without talking/dating/hooking up with anyone. From a completely unbiased standpoint too, not as someone trying to keep her to myself and tell her not to date someone for personal reasons...). I told her because I can see that's what her problem was and that I went through it myself. It's insane to me to be able to talk literally every single problem out to the root cause, and be able to mutually understand on practically anything to just have it end with someone being a piece of shit. It's actually pretty sad to think about because if that's what it was like with someone who you really feel that like minded connection with just to have them do you like that, how will that be different in the future? I've had her deleted on all social media accounts since then.
Gonna be single for a while, too much effort for a relationship sometimes. Plus there's too many cheeks out there and more than anything I need to focus on working and getting this company I have with some partners completely off the ground.
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