Author Topic: real confessions  (Read 975927 times)

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SodaJerk

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #7290 on: November 08, 2017, 12:10:53 AM »
Joined a swingers website, met up for coffee with a woman who promptly spent a half an hour telling me about how her first child was taken by social services and how she moved country to avoid her second child being put up for forced adoption, followed by years of legal battles, her suicide attempt, the scabies and urinary infections from her former living situation and also her imminent eviction from her current house with 14 other people. All in the first half an hour.

Needless to say, I've never been more erect.
Did she have all her own teeth?

Grind King Rims

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #7291 on: November 08, 2017, 02:02:07 AM »
Joined a swingers website, met up for coffee with a woman who promptly spent a half an hour telling me about how her first child was taken by social services and how she moved country to avoid her second child being put up for forced adoption, followed by years of legal battles, her suicide attempt, the scabies and urinary infections from her former living situation and also her imminent eviction from her current house with 14 other people. All in the first half an hour.

Needless to say, I've never been more erect.
Did she have all her own teeth?
I mean, if you knock someone's teeth out, and then you take those teeth, then like, those are your teeth now, right? That's like survival of the fittest or whatever.


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Grind King Rims

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #7292 on: November 08, 2017, 02:12:12 AM »
Hooked up with an ex, no fap November got the best of me.

I did this once and got stuck in another year of a shitty relationship. She didn't want to hook up at first because she said she wanted to "start new", which basically just meant no sex for a while. I got the worst blue balls of my life to where it hurt to breathe.

How are things with the ex now?
« Last Edit: November 08, 2017, 02:24:40 AM by Grind King Rims »


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somethingmustbreaknow

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #7293 on: November 08, 2017, 04:24:09 AM »
Hooked up with an ex, no fap November got the best of me.
as i'm still in it i'm gonna see what it brings to
the table for me. it would be dope, if it would
also bring a hookup with my ex but prolly not.
« Last Edit: November 08, 2017, 06:53:39 AM by somethingmustbreaknow »

shit_for_brains

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #7294 on: November 08, 2017, 05:07:38 AM »
Joined a swingers website, met up for coffee with a woman who promptly spent a half an hour telling me about how her first child was taken by social services and how she moved country to avoid her second child being put up for forced adoption, followed by years of legal battles, her suicide attempt, the scabies and urinary infections from her former living situation and also her imminent eviction from her current house with 14 other people. All in the first half an hour.

Needless to say, I've never been more erect.
Did she have all her own teeth?
I mean, if you knock someone's teeth out, and then you take those teeth, then like, those are your teeth now, right? That's like survival of the fittest or whatever.

Yeah that's teeth law.

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DaSk8D00D

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #7295 on: November 08, 2017, 09:26:41 AM »
Ok remember how I said I botched my pullout with my girl a couple weeks ago?  Well now sheís only a few days away from missing her period and has been showing minor symptoms (random illness, increased appetite, weird cravings, etc) and now Iím lowkey spooked brehs

Iím gonna need the power of SLAP and all the land to come together and give me all their energy like Goku with the spirit bomb....




And send a powerful blast out into the universe with a resounding NO to that insemination cuz I ainít ready for this shit!

Like forreal I feel like this inside



I know some of us have had our differences on here but that should be even more reason to get onboard and send some infertility vibes my way, we all need this right now

Iíll do anything yíall. Stop using smileys, stop making threads, hell ill even focus my account and post under an unrecognizable alias...

Just please dear God donít let her get pregnant!!

Turtle Boy

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #7296 on: November 08, 2017, 09:52:43 AM »
What the aborption status in your state? What is your gf opinion on aborption?
I mean you should use some contraception for real, not just the pull out technique. There are tons of methods, from pills, condoms, inserts whatever...
I know it can be a pain in the ass, but WAAAAAY less pain in a ass than a baby.

shark tits

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #7297 on: November 08, 2017, 10:03:16 AM »
you got options.......
has anyone crowdfunded abortions yet?
[nice footage on the other thread, heelflip down 10!?!?!?!]

somethingmustbreaknow

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #7298 on: November 08, 2017, 11:19:33 AM »
Pull Out technique?
you fuckin serious?

Joe Pesci

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #7299 on: November 08, 2017, 11:33:48 AM »
What the aborption status in your state? What is your gf opinion on aborption?
I mean you should use some contraception for real, not just the pull out technique. There are tons of methods, from pills, condoms, inserts whatever...
I know it can be a pain in the ass, but WAAAAAY less pain in a ass than a baby.
You misspelled absorption, but yeah I agree you should look into getting the baby absorbed.

mynameisnotjeff

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #7300 on: November 08, 2017, 03:02:02 PM »
You know you're in deep when you have one of those.
Power to you Sk8dood but stick to Jimmy Caps.
Nothing I do deserves more than an iphone camera.

ducky darnsworth

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #7301 on: November 08, 2017, 03:28:37 PM »

goodluck with that shit will, hopefully your gf doesnt go off the wall with this

Gay Imp Sausage Metal

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #7302 on: November 08, 2017, 04:38:17 PM »
I know some of us have had our differences on here but that should be even more reason to get onboard and send some infertility vibes my way, we all need this right now
I have a feeling Simon Woodstock is not going to like your confessions mate. On the flip side, having a kid is awesome!
Welcome to the #raddad club ;) Honestly though, I don't know if she would already be having weird cravings etc. BEFORE her period is due so you'll probably be fine*

* this is SLAP though and no one on here is a doctor right?

"This is untrue, my client has not been attacked in every country" #yearoftheeagle

tobey

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #7303 on: November 08, 2017, 05:21:17 PM »
I know some of us have had our differences on here but that should be even more reason to get onboard and send some infertility vibes my way, we all need this right now
I have a feeling Simon Woodstock is not going to like your confessions mate. On the flip side, having a kid is awesome!
Welcome to the #raddad club ;) Honestly though, I don't know if she would already be having weird cravings etc. BEFORE her period is due so you'll probably be fine*

* this is SLAP though and no one on here is a doctor right?

I mean Shit for Brains is pretty smart. I rather go to him than some nerd who went to school for 8 years

Monkey_Mcpott

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #7304 on: November 08, 2017, 06:45:12 PM »
I know some of us have had our differences on here but that should be even more reason to get onboard and send some infertility vibes my way, we all need this right now
I have a feeling Simon Woodstock is not going to like your confessions mate. On the flip side, having a kid is awesome!
Welcome to the #raddad club ;) Honestly though, I don't know if she would already be having weird cravings etc. BEFORE her period is due so you'll probably be fine*

* this is SLAP though and no one on here is a doctor right?

I mean Shit for Brains is pretty smart. I rather go to him than some nerd who went to school for 8 years

Vibes your way. I wouldn't say you've been my favorite poster and at times i think you can be a bit aggressive with your views but to each his own. Having a kid can be a blessing in disguise sometimes though. Before i had my son at the age of 22 I lived a very carefree lifestyle with no cares in the world or my future. Since then i personally believe he was the reason i decided to take my life and career more serious to make better decisions that led me to the comfortable state that i am currently in. I hope that whatever happens is the best decision for your life, but don't think the worst if it doesn't go the way you want it. You cant plan life, just go with it.

doomstation55

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #7305 on: November 08, 2017, 07:19:16 PM »
Dude it's 2017 if you keep your laptop on your lap you should be shootin blanks. That's my contraception method at least.

mynameisnotjeff

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #7306 on: November 09, 2017, 12:51:11 AM »
Found Nora's Spotify...I think. Sick music and if it is her I've fallen in love just a little more
Nothing I do deserves more than an iphone camera.

Gay Imp Sausage Metal

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #7307 on: November 09, 2017, 01:17:29 AM »
I don't like Palace
(surprise surprise)

"This is untrue, my client has not been attacked in every country" #yearoftheeagle

shit_for_brains

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #7308 on: November 09, 2017, 05:17:53 AM »
I only had one credible pregnancy scare. While I was on the phone breaking up with this girl she said she was already late on her period, which inspired a few vagina rental jokes, and had taken a test you pee on that said she was pregnant. I told her to get in her car IMMEDIATELY and come to my place, and I went and spent about $50,000,000 on all kinds of different brands of tests. When she got there I said I wanted to see her pee on every single one of them with my eyes, then we can sit awkwardly and tensely wait for the results. She changed her tune real quick and I found out you can't return pregnancy tests.

So I guess you should try scaring her into never wanting a kid with you?

Andrew Allen is a living legend and must be protected.

DaSk8D00D

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #7309 on: November 10, 2017, 05:59:05 AM »
So at 6:36AM this morning on my way to work my girl gives me the news...



ITíS A PERIOD BREHS




I canít front that shit had me really shook for a few days but nigga we made it

SodaJerk

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #7310 on: November 10, 2017, 06:27:32 AM »
So at 6:36AM this morning on my way to work my girl gives me the news...



ITíS A PERIOD BREHS




I canít front that shit had me really shook for a few days but nigga we made it
You know it's not uncommon for women to have their period whilst in the early stages of pregnancy.

DaSk8D00D

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #7311 on: November 10, 2017, 06:47:33 AM »
So at 6:36AM this morning on my way to work my girl gives me the news...



ITíS A PERIOD BREHS




I canít front that shit had me really shook for a few days but nigga we made it
You know it's not uncommon for women to have their period whilst in the early stages of pregnancy.

Sheís been keeping track of it and it was right on schedule today, so ima enjoy this feeling of relief until I have a reason not to

ttching!

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #7312 on: November 10, 2017, 07:40:29 AM »
First I was like lil' d00d?   
 

But then I was like: Yung Easely?   


Now I'm all like: RIP Yung Easely 
 

mynameisnotjeff

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #7313 on: November 13, 2017, 12:15:15 PM »
A fight almost broke out at work and while I was getting ready I realized 1) I can't fight but I'm going down swinging 2) My first response was to imitate that Any Roy video where he's yelling and pulling up his shorts to creep out the person 3) I was glad it didn't happen while the cute waitresses where clocked in
Nothing I do deserves more than an iphone camera.

SodaJerk

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #7314 on: November 13, 2017, 12:42:19 PM »
A fight almost broke out at work and while I was getting ready I realized 1) I can't fight but I'm going down swinging 2) My first response was to imitate that Any Roy video where he's yelling and pulling up his shorts to creep out the person 3) I was glad it didn't happen while the cute waitresses where clocked in
Count it.
I love that clip of Andy. When someone is in your face the best thing to deal with it is always to be ridiculous.

shit_for_brains

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #7315 on: November 13, 2017, 12:58:22 PM »
But if someone actually gets IN your face, you should headbutt them. Even if you they beat you to death, they can't win against someone who hits people with their face.

Andrew Allen is a living legend and must be protected.

mynameisnotjeff

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #7316 on: November 13, 2017, 01:44:06 PM »
But if someone actually gets IN your face, you should headbutt them. Even if you they beat you to death, they can't win against someone who hits people with their face.
Like this?
Nothing I do deserves more than an iphone camera.

shit_for_brains

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #7317 on: November 13, 2017, 04:38:55 PM »
But if someone actually gets IN your face, you should headbutt them. Even if you they beat you to death, they can't win against someone who hits people with their face.
Like this?


No, that was stupid. You want to hit them in the nose with your hairline and ruin their face forever.

Andrew Allen is a living legend and must be protected.

tobey

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #7318 on: November 13, 2017, 05:48:31 PM »
But if someone actually gets IN your face, you should headbutt them. Even if you they beat you to death, they can't win against someone who hits people with their face.
Like this?


No, that was stupid. You want to hit them in the nose with your hairline and ruin their face forever.


Is that what happened to Owen Wilson

Grind King Rims

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Re: real confessions
« Reply #7319 on: November 14, 2017, 04:04:27 AM »
But if someone actually gets IN your face, you should headbutt them. Even if you they beat you to death, they can't win against someone who hits people with their face.
Like this?


No, that was stupid. You want to hit them in the nose with your hairline and ruin their face forever.


Is that what happened to Owen Wilson

No, he tried to fix it with his hands and made it worse.


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