Author Topic: Great Short Stories  (Read 9563 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

iSk84thechicas

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 313
  • Rep: -43
  • Thats right - Her AND her cousin
Great Short Stories
« on: January 20, 2014, 02:55:51 AM »
my girlfriends brother and and his fat as fuck girlfriend have been staying at my house and have just written their name on all their food in the fridge because i keep eating it. little do they know i found the secret stash of cookies under their bed and eat like 10 a day when they are at work. 
I hate my wife's family. She's amazing, even she doesn't really like her family. Her parents are alright, but everyone else, he brothers, cousins, their spouses, pure fucking hate. We have a baby shower coming up in 2 weeks and I can't drink at it, going to be the worst. Considering grabbing my brothers and homies and just going to a bar. She's Filipino. There are 80 people coming to this fucking thing, 15 are from my side.
This is what I'm looking for!!!!!!!!!!!!! Although this isn't really, real confessions. There should be a new thread with this shit, titled great short stories or something. .


So this is an experiment to start a new thread based on stories from us that are random little tidbits. Not necessarily Real Confessions and not necessarily Awkward Sexual Experiences etc.  or maybe a mix of both? But lets see what we get.  I'll start (something from the skate rat days)

Back in my teens I would attend the old NYC go skate days(NYC heads can remember these) with my posse of friends who I was close with. Lets call them Rodney, Tim, and Bronson  Bronson and I were the closest because we lived a block away from eachother.  we skated all over nyc in every borough and shared passions for hardcore punk, heavy metal and goth.  Actually he used to be on flow for mystery, and taught me the secret he had for learning kick flips.  He now is an MMA dude though. Anyways on this particular day we were picking up this chubby busty italian chick named Maria that Rodney was trying to bang from facebook, (Rodney was a Dominican light skin rico-suave type dude  -ponytail  wife beater with sb dunks imagine this shit at 17 year old) so its all 5 of us traveling with the crowd to KCDC, from Les and Brooklyn banks etc. So anyways we're all Having a blast,  and Tim, was starting to get restless with the day because he couldn't get anything from the product tosses:
"DAMN I better get something man, my mom told me i better get something or i cant come home"
Basically his mother told him he could only enjoy the holiest of our holidays if he actually got a t shirt or a deck to bring back.  His mother was pretty strict and kind of a kook.
So anyways as the day progressed, He got more and more bitter.  Even at one point starting shit with the other random skaters we encountered who seemed to be profiting from the tosses and freebies.  Walking down North 7th by the L train in Brooklyn,
He saw this tall dude with a friend, who looked like a shoe in for pre-Threat garret hill.  He was carrying a Big box.
 "Look at this mother fucker with his empty box"  It was 6 of us and the dude looked pretty nervous. But our faces and snickers said, that Tim was being asshole and he was on his own.  garret hill shot back, "Because its a box full of decks dumb ass."  Everybody started laughing at him.
Tim wasnt done yet,  the last product toss was right outside of kcdc A mob of about 60  kids just ripping and grabbing.  Tim got ripped and grabbed and stomped, as was evident from his bruises and ripped t shirt, which at one point he threw the ripped dirty shirt into the crowd. To our surprise, this enticed more mini battes for product. Tims fucked up Baker shirt became the next hot item in the toss.  We all offered him some of our shit which he declined out of pride.  Finally he managed to pick up an element sticker in the wet gutter. 
 Tims bad luck didnt end there.We all skated back to Manhattan to chill smoke whatever. So rodney was still macking this chick Maria and was taking her home with him. we all decided to try to get home because it was around 1am. So we all had passes or carfare but guess who didn't?
Pissed  off because of the day Tim just decided fuck it and tried to hop.  Immediately Inspector Gadget came and put him up against the wall while we waited for him to get a ticket. Tim got a summons, for his luck. 
On the train heading uptown, he was more than willing to give up his seat to nearby pedestrians by taking up 3 seats and  even blocking the doors with his foot so people couldn't change cars.  Bronson said" dude come on man people gotta pass man."  Fuck those people man"  I started laughing hysterically as Tim went on "All I got was an element sticker and my moms gonna whup my ass"





-"...Because we all know if Baker were Guns N Roses, Braydon would be Steven Adler..."

- "When I'm not getting laid , I'm hauling myself down a 5 flat 5....Time to man up son!"

InternetDaddy

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 1942
  • Rep: 15
  • sup breh
Re: Great Short Stories
« Reply #1 on: January 22, 2014, 10:44:05 PM »
TL;DR
Look I'm not selling anything that doesn't have my jizz on it. I don't care how much is offered.

Rumpleforeskin

  • Guest
Re: Great Short Stories
« Reply #2 on: January 26, 2014, 10:15:16 PM »
This thread has potential.  I'm originally from Ventura, California but I was raised in Northeast Arkansas.  I moved out two months ago to start college in Conway, Arkansas.  It's pretty much what Austin is to Texas to Arkansas.  Since moving in I haven't made a single friend and I'm already starting to feel the stress of college classes.  Blah blah blah pity party.  I'm glad to be in college and moved out though.  Took a lot of time and money to finally get out of my parents' place.  Thursday I had to leave and go back to my hometown because I had to put my car in the shop up there and my parents asked me to watch the house for them the whole weekend.   It was my first time coming home and seeing my parents since I left. Seeing them was so tense and awkward. It was a very strange hour.  Hard to think that me no longer being around would contribute to their already deteriorating marriage.  Oh well.  Coincidentally, the same weekend my car was to be put in the shop it was also my bestfriend's birthday.  Maybe that blue minivan was supposed to run into the back of my Honda.  Anyways, all of my friends stayed up there.  All of them decided to go to community college instead of moving off into some "big-fucking-deal" university.  As for me I went too, but only stayed for two semesters.  They decided to stay though. I hadn't seen in awhile either, even during the last weeks of living there I was stuck with work and trying to get everything prepared to move in.  I missed them a lot.  We used to do everything together in that tiny town.  Drive around, get drunk and stoned, trespass on private property, run from cops, pretty much whatever we could get away with.   For my friend's birthday, we all gathered at my house for beer, my friend's homemade chili, and drinking games.  It seemed like old times and that was so great.  Although the weekend seemed like such a haze, it was probably the most alive I've felt in so damn long.  Leaving all of them this morning, was even more sad then I dread it was going to be.  Its hard to leave all that to go back to a mindlessly drull life of classes and daily anti-depressants.  People used to say that town's a black hole too; how hard it was to leave and make something of yourself.  Its true, the only thing you can do there is try to get-by.  But they seem so happy doing it. 

Bronson

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 1179
  • Rep: 80
Re: Great Short Stories
« Reply #3 on: February 15, 2014, 04:27:12 PM »
It was already getting light outside when I left his apartment. The sun was rising behind the office buildings and everything had a crimson colored glow. I let out two farts; the first one was was very short and deep, the second one being more of a highly pitched and way longer. A fart-combo.

Henry Thomas Barnabe

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 159
  • Rep: -36
Re: Great Short Stories
« Reply #4 on: February 19, 2014, 10:20:05 PM »
It was already getting light outside when I left his apartment. The sun was rising behind the office buildings and everything had a crimson colored glow. I let out two farts; the first one was was very short and deep, the second one being more of a highly pitched and way longer. A fart-combo.

Great story bro
Go

Bronson

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 1179
  • Rep: 80
Re: Great Short Stories
« Reply #5 on: February 22, 2014, 01:14:56 AM »
It was already getting light outside when I left his apartment. The sun was rising behind the office buildings and everything had a crimson colored glow. I let out two farts; the first one was was very short and deep, the second one being more of a highly pitched and way longer. A fart-combo.

Great story bro
Thank you.

Hash Slinging Slasher

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 2052
  • Rep: 50
Re: Great Short Stories
« Reply #6 on: February 22, 2014, 02:41:48 PM »
This thread has potential.  I'm originally from Ventura, California but I was raised in Northeast Arkansas.  I moved out two months ago to start college in Conway, Arkansas.  It's pretty much what Austin is to Texas to Arkansas.  Since moving in I haven't made a single friend and I'm already starting to feel the stress of college classes.  Blah blah blah pity party.  I'm glad to be in college and moved out though.  Took a lot of time and money to finally get out of my parents' place.  Thursday I had to leave and go back to my hometown because I had to put my car in the shop up there and my parents asked me to watch the house for them the whole weekend.   It was my first time coming home and seeing my parents since I left. Seeing them was so tense and awkward. It was a very strange hour.  Hard to think that me no longer being around would contribute to their already deteriorating marriage.  Oh well.  Coincidentally, the same weekend my car was to be put in the shop it was also my bestfriend's birthday.  Maybe that blue minivan was supposed to run into the back of my Honda.  Anyways, all of my friends stayed up there.  All of them decided to go to community college instead of moving off into some "big-fucking-deal" university.  As for me I went too, but only stayed for two semesters.  They decided to stay though. I hadn't seen in awhile either, even during the last weeks of living there I was stuck with work and trying to get everything prepared to move in.  I missed them a lot.  We used to do everything together in that tiny town.  Drive around, get drunk and stoned, trespass on private property, run from cops, pretty much whatever we could get away with.   For my friend's birthday, we all gathered at my house for beer, my friend's homemade chili, and drinking games.  It seemed like old times and that was so great.  Although the weekend seemed like such a haze, it was probably the most alive I've felt in so damn long.  Leaving all of them this morning, was even more sad then I dread it was going to be.  Its hard to leave all that to go back to a mindlessly drull life of classes and daily anti-depressants.  People used to say that town's a black hole too; how hard it was to leave and make something of yourself.  Its true, the only thing you can do there is try to get-by.  But they seem so happy doing it. 
I guess I'm a bit late in replying to this but I felt the same way last year during my first year of college. Tons of people in my town are always saying how they hate it and want to leave or whatever but I actually like it. I could've gone to school 5 minutes up the road but I knew I should switch it up; see new places, meet new people, etc. Just like you, my friend game was pretty weak and almost all of my friends from home were going to the local community college. I just wanted to hang out with them and do fun stuff. I also remember thinking of the kids who are just going to trade school or whatever who will basically have a job and decent salary guaranteed for them right out of school. I could be learning something useful about being a plumber or electrician, but there I am sitting in these pointless classes and not learning shit. I didn't see the point. I had no idea what I wanted to major in, no plans for the future. I didn't know what I was doing there. I even told my parents that I may not want to go back after the first year. My dad told to see how the first semester of sophomore year goes and I can decide from there what I want to do. It's true that college isn't for everyone. Anyway, enter fall semester of this year. I didn't really know what to expect, but it turns out it was the best one I've had so far. I fucking nailed it with my class choices and the scheduling of them was prime too. I signed up for a graphic design class and I was extremely in to it almost immediately, and now I'm almost positive I'm going to double major in studio art (for graphic design) and communications. I also joined a club that puts on concerts at our school and met cool people through that, started going out on weekends more, and found other people who skate. Now that I found what I want to do and am an active member of a club I definitely feel like I have more of a purpose being here. I'll admit that I got pretty lucky. I almost dropped the design class because I thought everyone would have tons of past experience and I have none, but I just went for it. Just give it some time. Hopefully things will work out and you'll get on the path you want. Best of luck!

ROCKxADIO420

  • Guest
Re: Great Short Stories
« Reply #7 on: February 22, 2014, 02:47:47 PM »
It was already getting light outside when I left his apartment. The sun was rising behind the office buildings and everything had a crimson colored glow. I let out two farts; the first one was was very short and deep, the second one being more of a highly pitched and way longer. A fart-combo.

ttching!

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 4527
  • Rep: 65216
  • Smilin' Mercenary
Re: Great Short Stories
« Reply #8 on: February 27, 2014, 08:40:03 AM »

GOOD BLOKE

  • Guest
Re: Great Short Stories
« Reply #9 on: March 10, 2014, 10:13:09 PM »
This thread has potential.  I'm originally from Ventura, California but I was raised in Northeast Arkansas.  I moved out two months ago to start college in Conway, Arkansas.  It's pretty much what Austin is to Texas to Arkansas.  Since moving in I haven't made a single friend and I'm already starting to feel the stress of college classes.  Blah blah blah pity party.  I'm glad to be in college and moved out though.  Took a lot of time and money to finally get out of my parents' place.  Thursday I had to leave and go back to my hometown because I had to put my car in the shop up there and my parents asked me to watch the house for them the whole weekend.   It was my first time coming home and seeing my parents since I left. Seeing them was so tense and awkward. It was a very strange hour.  Hard to think that me no longer being around would contribute to their already deteriorating marriage.  Oh well.  Coincidentally, the same weekend my car was to be put in the shop it was also my bestfriend's birthday.  Maybe that blue minivan was supposed to run into the back of my Honda.  Anyways, all of my friends stayed up there.  All of them decided to go to community college instead of moving off into some "big-fucking-deal" university.  As for me I went too, but only stayed for two semesters.  They decided to stay though. I hadn't seen in awhile either, even during the last weeks of living there I was stuck with work and trying to get everything prepared to move in.  I missed them a lot.  We used to do everything together in that tiny town.  Drive around, get drunk and stoned, trespass on private property, run from cops, pretty much whatever we could get away with.   For my friend's birthday, we all gathered at my house for beer, my friend's homemade chili, and drinking games.  It seemed like old times and that was so great.  Although the weekend seemed like such a haze, it was probably the most alive I've felt in so damn long.  Leaving all of them this morning, was even more sad then I dread it was going to be.  Its hard to leave all that to go back to a mindlessly drull life of classes and daily anti-depressants.  People used to say that town's a black hole too; how hard it was to leave and make something of yourself.  Its true, the only thing you can do there is try to get-by.  But they seem so happy doing it. 

why are so many young americans on pills like these? is it a case of harden up? i'm from australia and i can't think of one person growing up besides a legit headcase to take pills. ofcourse i don't know your situation but it seems a lot of the times kids are on these things for very minute reasons

posguy

  • SLAP Pal
  • ******
  • Posts: 1342
  • Rep: -54
Re: Great Short Stories
« Reply #10 on: November 03, 2014, 09:55:31 AM »
This thread has potential.  I'm originally from Ventura, California but I was raised in Northeast Arkansas.  I moved out two months ago to start college in Conway, Arkansas.  It's pretty much what Austin is to Texas to Arkansas.  Since moving in I haven't made a single friend and I'm already starting to feel the stress of college classes.  Blah blah blah pity party.  I'm glad to be in college and moved out though.  Took a lot of time and money to finally get out of my parents' place.  Thursday I had to leave and go back to my hometown because I had to put my car in the shop up there and my parents asked me to watch the house for them the whole weekend.   It was my first time coming home and seeing my parents since I left. Seeing them was so tense and awkward. It was a very strange hour.  Hard to think that me no longer being around would contribute to their already deteriorating marriage.  Oh well.  Coincidentally, the same weekend my car was to be put in the shop it was also my bestfriend's birthday.  Maybe that blue minivan was supposed to run into the back of my Honda.  Anyways, all of my friends stayed up there.  All of them decided to go to community college instead of moving off into some "big-fucking-deal" university.  As for me I went too, but only stayed for two semesters.  They decided to stay though. I hadn't seen in awhile either, even during the last weeks of living there I was stuck with work and trying to get everything prepared to move in.  I missed them a lot.  We used to do everything together in that tiny town.  Drive around, get drunk and stoned, trespass on private property, run from cops, pretty much whatever we could get away with.   For my friend's birthday, we all gathered at my house for beer, my friend's homemade chili, and drinking games.  It seemed like old times and that was so great.  Although the weekend seemed like such a haze, it was probably the most alive I've felt in so damn long.  Leaving all of them this morning, was even more sad then I dread it was going to be.  Its hard to leave all that to go back to a mindlessly drull life of classes and daily anti-depressants.  People used to say that town's a black hole too; how hard it was to leave and make something of yourself.  Its true, the only thing you can do there is try to get-by.  But they seem so happy doing it.  
I guess I'm a bit late in replying to this but I felt the same way last year during my first year of college. Tons of people in my town are always saying how they hate it and want to leave or whatever but I actually like it. I could've gone to school 5 minutes up the road but I knew I should switch it up; see new places, meet new people, etc. Just like you, my friend game was pretty weak and almost all of my friends from home were going to the local community college. I just wanted to hang out with them and do fun stuff. I also remember thinking of the kids who are just going to trade school or whatever who will basically have a job and decent salary guaranteed for them right out of school. I could be learning something useful about being a plumber or electrician, but there I am sitting in these pointless classes and not learning shit. I didn't see the point. I had no idea what I wanted to major in, no plans for the future. I didn't know what I was doing there. I even told my parents that I may not want to go back after the first year. My dad told to see how the first semester of sophomore year goes and I can decide from there what I want to do. It's true that college isn't for everyone. Anyway, enter fall semester of this year. I didn't really know what to expect, but it turns out it was the best one I've had so far. I fucking nailed it with my class choices and the scheduling of them was prime too. I signed up for a graphic design class and I was extremely in to it almost immediately, and now I'm almost positive I'm going to double major in studio art (for graphic design) and communications. I also joined a club that puts on concerts at our school and met cool people through that, started going out on weekends more, and found other people who skate. Now that I found what I want to do and am an active member of a club I definitely feel like I have more of a purpose being here. I'll admit that I got pretty lucky. I almost dropped the design class because I thought everyone would have tons of past experience and I have none, but I just went for it. Just give it some time. Hopefully things will work out and you'll get on the path you want. Best of luck!

Good luck with the graphic design man!
« Last Edit: January 29, 2015, 07:39:37 AM by posguy »