Author Topic: tinder  (Read 257020 times)

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Fongstarr.

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Re: tinder
« Reply #90 on: March 19, 2014, 09:55:50 AM »
Reporting back to say I slayed my first Tinder chick.

I actually used the advice and kinda stole the line of asking chicks if they wanna sit on faces or whatever. How I phrase it after maybe 1 or 2 introduction funny messages is "So what are you doing on this app, looking for your future husband or someone's face to sit on?" Usually, you'll either get no reply or the other option is they think it's kind of funny and it semi opens the door to some sexual talk/chance for both of you to be up front.

But yeah, porked a girl I knew was going to be on the thicker side, but her body was like the perfect proportions of thick. I usually end up disappointed when I think a girl is going to be the perfect curvy size, but she takes off her clothes and is lumpy and gross. But this girl had an ass for fucking days, and she also said I could come stay the night with her but no sex the first night. That quickly changed once we got into bed. And to top it off after using condoms that night, she lets me know shes comfortable with me now and let me feel her Birth Control implant in her arm, and that I won't have to wear condoms next time. Lets hope I get her pregnant guys yay!!!

She's probably telling her friends, I slayed my 10th Tinder dude. I always think as much as guys get all happy fucking chicks on Tinder that it's the same way with girls since no one uses Tinder for serious relationships. But props to you though, just strap up.
I'll fuckin
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Yushin Okami

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Re: tinder
« Reply #91 on: March 19, 2014, 10:08:42 AM »
She's probably telling her friends, I slayed my 10th Tinder dude. I always think as much as guys get all happy fucking chicks on Tinder that it's the same way with girls since no one uses Tinder for serious relationships. But props to you though, just strap up.

Certainly didn't plan on it that way but that's exactly what happened
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pencil

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Re: tinder
« Reply #92 on: March 19, 2014, 10:14:46 AM »
yeah my girls roommate thinks shes gonna find a quality guy on tindr but this bitch also catfished her ex boyfriend and tried to photoshop it to make it look like he was cheating on this new girl
im a fuckin bro so i warned him and he deleted his profile and i downloaded a bunch of porn viruses on her computer so she had to wipe her hard drive
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Unbridled Technical Precision

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Re: tinder
« Reply #93 on: March 19, 2014, 10:20:42 AM »
I took UTP's advice and started being more forward/horny with my messages.  I've had my finest partner to date sleep over 3 times in the past week.  Thank you UTP.  

This makes me so fuckin happy. I'm stoked for you beans. I've been in LA for a week with a broken collarbone and I've still managed to slay 2 hambeasts in a week. The scene is ripe out here. Even with a sling on I've still managed to pound. So far though it seems that I've only really run into mid-shelf girls. I'm not complaining, hey it's pussy, but at the same time I feel I could get a much hotter girl if I put the effort in to wine n dine them n all that. Hey but guess what, fuck that. I'm never meeting a girl in real life again this new age fuck game is just way too fun and effortless. Keep it up boys I wanna hear more success stories.
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I, I am offended sir. No more advice for you icenine were done! Finished!
« Last Edit: March 19, 2014, 10:22:48 AM by Unbridled Technical Precision »

Fongstarr.

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Re: tinder
« Reply #94 on: March 19, 2014, 10:35:53 AM »
yeah my girls roommate thinks shes gonna find a quality guy on tindr but this bitch also catfished her ex boyfriend and tried to photoshop it to make it look like he was cheating on this new girl
im a fuckin bro so i warned him and he deleted his profile and i downloaded a bunch of porn viruses on her computer so she had to wipe her hard drive

I guess there are those girls that bang first and ask questions later. My ex coworker was like that. She thought fucking a dude meant that they'd have a relationship after. No wonder she literally has never had a boyfriend in her life even though she fucked tons of guys. Anyways....the last dude she had a one nighter with, she got pregnant with his kid and even after that, she still couldn't uphold a relationship with the guy. Some girls are just dumb I guess.
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sew your asshole closed, and keep feedin you
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redhatchet

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Re: tinder
« Reply #95 on: March 19, 2014, 10:36:14 AM »
I thank all my SLAP bros for the obvious great advice and everything, but daddy's gotta live a little.
Maybe I'm just so cool I wanna die.

Unbridled Technical Precision

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Re: tinder
« Reply #96 on: March 19, 2014, 10:41:29 AM »
Ohh forgot to tell you guys I found a new line that you can say somewhat earlier than the facesitting line. "So what say you and I make some bad decisions together sometime." Now this may sound gratuitous to say 'you and I' and 'together' in the same sentence but it isn't. Let's me know ya really wanna get the Diz wiz without having to say it explicitly. try it

Life is like a beautiful dance. A beautiful dance, with a chainsaw.
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UTP
« Last Edit: March 19, 2014, 11:13:49 AM by Unbridled Technical Precision »

Fongstarr.

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Re: tinder
« Reply #97 on: March 19, 2014, 11:04:39 AM »
I thank all my SLAP bros for the obvious great advice and everything, but daddy's gotta live a little.

Reminds me of this scene:

I'll fuckin
I'll fuckin
sew your asshole closed, and keep feedin you
and feedin you, and feedin you, and feedin you!

tobey

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Re: tinder
« Reply #98 on: March 24, 2014, 11:29:39 PM »
i have had tinder for about a month now and i got matched up with some cute girls, most of them don't respond after i send a message (my first message is usually "hey whats up?) but me and this on girl hit it off. I asked her if she wanted to come over to binge watch True Detective one night this week and she said she was down. So my question is i should probably meet her in public first right?

ice nine

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Re: tinder
« Reply #99 on: March 25, 2014, 12:59:46 AM »
whatever u do dont call ur bedroom carcosa
I;m sure i;m not the only dc/monster/subaru type guy here

Fenzadill

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Re: tinder
« Reply #100 on: March 25, 2014, 09:04:16 AM »
whatever u do dont call ur bedroom carcosa

^I'm glad i kept checking this thread

Maybe she'll beg for it in the butt?
example. i cant cast a spelll or love potion on a girl and she falls total in love for me
but i can show a girl my tv youtube clip on my or her phone. but there's a difference ok

Iceman

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Re: tinder
« Reply #101 on: March 25, 2014, 09:44:30 AM »
i have had tinder for about a month now and i got matched up with some cute girls, most of them don't respond after i send a message (my first message is usually "hey whats up?) but me and this on girl hit it off. I asked her if she wanted to come over to binge watch True Detective one night this week and she said she was down. So my question is i should probably meet her in public first right?

gotta be witty, son. if the first impression stands out you're already halfway in her pants. most dudes say something generic like that. don't put yourself in that category. you gotta stand out.

pencil

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Re: tinder
« Reply #102 on: March 25, 2014, 03:08:10 PM »
holy shit, I just realized someone on here asked my girls roommate "what size are your boobs, I wouldnt mind double checking just to be sure" or something along those lines

which one of you fuckers was it lol
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Fongstarr.

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Re: tinder
« Reply #103 on: March 25, 2014, 04:57:47 PM »
i have had tinder for about a month now and i got matched up with some cute girls, most of them don't respond after i send a message (my first message is usually "hey whats up?) but me and this on girl hit it off. I asked her if she wanted to come over to binge watch True Detective one night this week and she said she was down. So my question is i should probably meet her in public first right?

I say yes in public cause that just eases their confidence in knowing you are a normal person. Then if that goes good, I am sure the transition to the house will be easy. From what you guys say from Tinder, most girls almost come with that mindset that they are down to  mess around. I am sure the only thing that is stopping them is if you are a weirdo.

Good luck my man. Regardless what dudes say, strap up and then slay the dragon.
I'll fuckin
I'll fuckin
sew your asshole closed, and keep feedin you
and feedin you, and feedin you, and feedin you!

InternetDaddy

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Re: tinder
« Reply #104 on: March 25, 2014, 05:07:58 PM »
whatever u do dont call ur bedroom carcosa
time is a flat circle. We've already fucked. Might as well do it again *never exhales cigarette, cuts little men out of tall can*
Look I'm not selling anything that doesn't have my jizz on it. I don't care how much is offered.

bentmode

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Re: tinder
« Reply #105 on: March 26, 2014, 12:35:37 AM »
Finally I figure out why my RUDTF  messages haven't been replied to.
Han solo blew up the Death Star in Episode 4.  Heard it from a friend.  Reliable source.

Unbridled Technical Precision

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Re: tinder
« Reply #106 on: March 26, 2014, 05:06:26 PM »
bros. woke up monday to my dick burning when i piss. most likely chlamydz. undoubtedly from a tinder girl. got some antibiotics so i should be good in a week but bros, even if condoms are the worst thing ever, use them.  just... use them. in a city like sf, with an app like tinder, it's just waitin to happen.  other than that i got some bros working the formula i've put out for them and they've been slaying.
« Last Edit: March 26, 2014, 05:08:08 PM by Unbridled Technical Precision »

pancake man

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Re: tinder
« Reply #107 on: March 28, 2014, 02:46:40 PM »
"Damn girl, you look sweeter than a plate of yams with extra syrup"
"Now I've heard that gingers have no soul. I'd like to dispel that rumor"
"The Free Bird epidemic, closely related to Swag Syndrome, has been plaguing the country for years"

Just a few of the opening lines I've used on tinder. I love saying stupid shit

doomstation55

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Re: tinder
« Reply #108 on: March 29, 2014, 01:04:13 PM »
This site has some hilarious tinder trolling.

http://helloletsdate.com/


Hash Slinging Slasher

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Re: tinder
« Reply #109 on: March 30, 2014, 11:17:24 AM »
I have mono right now, so no tinder meet ups for me right now, but you've always gotta stay "networking." Just potentially hooked a girl on there for the future in a pretty clever, stupid, funny way. Here's the important part of the conversation:

Me: Too bad I have mono hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Tinder Girl: That sucks... Kissin too many sluts???
Me: Yeah 4 sure
Wayyyyy too many hot babes
Think I'm on the tail end though since I'm not all dead feeling
So maybe you could be the next one
TG: Not if you're giving me mono babe
Me:No no no no no I would never wish that on anyone
After I am cured
Hahahahaha or not. I tried
TG: After you're cured, sure

Take notes, pals. The slasher's tinder game is strong.

pencil

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Re: tinder
« Reply #110 on: April 01, 2014, 10:16:49 AM »
I have mono right now, so no tinder meet ups for me right now, but you've always gotta stay "networking." Just potentially hooked a girl on there for the future in a pretty clever, stupid, funny way. Here's the important part of the conversation:

Me: Too bad I have mono hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Tinder Girl: That sucks... Kissin too many sluts???
Me: Yeah 4 sure
Wayyyyy too many hot babes
Think I'm on the tail end though since I'm not all dead feeling
So maybe you could be the next one
TG: Not if you're giving me mono babe
Me:No no no no no I would never wish that on anyone
After I am cured
Hahahahaha or not. I tried
TG: After you're cured, sure

Take notes, pals. The slasher's tinder game is strong.

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paraquat

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Re: tinder
« Reply #111 on: April 01, 2014, 02:19:24 PM »
bros. woke up monday to my dick burning when i piss. most likely chlamydz. undoubtedly from a tinder girl. got some antibiotics so i should be good in a week but bros, even if condoms are the worst thing ever, use them.  just... use them. in a city like sf, with an app like tinder, it's just waitin to happen.  other than that i got some bros working the formula i've put out for them and they've been slaying.
Ha. You have earned a Purple Heart. Watch out for boxer lint on ya dick tip.

ice nine

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Re: tinder
« Reply #112 on: April 01, 2014, 02:38:34 PM »
fuck this app, I keep getting the same guys over and over. once u say no it should have to wait a few months before showing U the same ppl again
I;m sure i;m not the only dc/monster/subaru type guy here

Chris Hansen is back

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Re: tinder
« Reply #113 on: April 01, 2014, 04:48:27 PM »
^
Parapraxis? Or...

ice nine

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Re: tinder
« Reply #114 on: April 01, 2014, 04:55:53 PM »
^had to look that up, and no. i would never use it for meeting girls, doesnt appeal to me. i just wanna find people i know on there, and see what local single weirdos look like. and i dunno any girls so i have to look for my male friends. either way its not very exciting, sorry
I;m sure i;m not the only dc/monster/subaru type guy here

saucy ragu

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Re: tinder
« Reply #115 on: April 01, 2014, 05:15:32 PM »
Hmm, I've always thought your sexual proclivity was towards men. Something about your oeuvre proclaims, "Perez Hilton."
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EPetrov

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Re: tinder
« Reply #116 on: April 08, 2014, 11:35:57 AM »
some ratchet ho i been texting for 1 day trying to tell me I need to shave.

hell nawww


(ps; to whoever stated that starbucks/latte line, I really liked it, but it dont work.)

pancake man

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Re: tinder
« Reply #117 on: April 08, 2014, 12:24:02 PM »
Just met up with a chick before class. She sucked my dick something fierce and let me watch Archer while she did so. A mission successful in my opinion

tobey

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Re: tinder
« Reply #118 on: April 09, 2014, 02:01:52 AM »
I thought of a really good first message to the girls i get matched up with that are 18-20 years old. It goes something like this "Hey would you like to go out on a date with me and when i say date i mean get drunk and watch netflix all night". I get great responses but then i usually fuck up a little later. For the girls over 21 i say "hey do you know any good bars around this area because i just moved and haven't found a decent bar"

I just thought of those messages last week so i haven't met up with them yet but just getting them to respond to the first message is a small victory to me

spungo

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Re: tinder
« Reply #119 on: April 09, 2014, 01:15:03 PM »
just go try to talk to girls and get laid like normal people.  This app sounds like it's for social retards with no game.  Last thing people need is to bury their life deeper into a stupid phone.
do more yoga!