Author Topic: tinder  (Read 388199 times)

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Matze

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Re: tinder
« Reply #210 on: May 23, 2014, 11:40:17 AM »
Just 'broke up' with this girl via Facebook. Next Date tomorrow. I feel classy about it.

tom

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Re: tinder
« Reply #211 on: May 23, 2014, 07:07:55 PM »
Expand Quote
so i've met a bunch of girls off tinder and okcupid in the past couple months. i moved across the country knowing that i wouldn't have any friends. i pretty much had to force myself to go out and make a whole new group of friends and force myself to talk to girls. tinder and okcupid definitely got my confidence up because without them i would have been too much of a pussy to go up and talk to girls out of the blue. my first day in california i met a girl at a bar, took her back to the spot and had a fire, and then we hooked up in the backyard on the shed. the process was maybe an hour tops. i was stoked. she blocked my number. no big loss. i met a few more chicks and within the first month i hit my yearly quota for hooking up with girls and going on dates. it was awesome. it gave me the ability to just walk up to any random girl and compliment them and ask if i could get them a drink and start rambling with them
[close]

Good for you man, stoked it's working out, I'm in a pretty similar "moved to a place where I don't know people" situation.  What part of California did you move to?
i'm in camarillo for now. it's right near ventura. i was going to move to east la, but ventura is cooler and i know more people up here. plus it's not la
fuck you bama

TheFifthColumn

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Re: tinder
« Reply #212 on: May 23, 2014, 07:08:48 PM »
Tinder sucks. Chick's are mad flaky on it. A few months ago, I met this one from girl from another state and it seemed like we had a good connection, so I asked her out on a date after a few weeks of back and forth. We were really hitting it off on the date and after that she invited me back to her place.  We were watching a David Lynch movie, sipping vodka and I thought things were going in the right direction. I tried to kiss her, but she moved back and said "she didn't know me like that".  She just wanted to "hangout", but was uncomfortable with me even cuddling with her.  

At this point I was pissed - I had spent close to a grand on this date - renting a 2002 Phantom, a duel double axis tourbillon Swiss chronograph, getting my clothes custom tailored, traveling to another state, taking her out to one of the finest dining establishments.  I left her bedroom determined to get just revenge on this reprobated tease.

I searched her kitchen and found nothing but condiments. However, under her kitchen sink I found some powdered Drano.  I took the powdered Drano and mixed it in with the salt in her salt shaker.  Then I mixed the Drano with the sugar in her sugar bowl. After that, I turned on the gas to her stove, making the gas pour out without making it ignite.  Then I left.

I wish her nothing but the worst. To this day I am still angry about it.

CumOnYourFace

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Re: tinder
« Reply #213 on: May 23, 2014, 07:12:22 PM »
^
If that isn't a joke, you're fucked up, but hilarious.

ill_Murray

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Re: tinder
« Reply #214 on: May 23, 2014, 07:13:17 PM »
Tinder sucks. Chick's are mad flaky on it. A few months ago, I met this one from girl from another state and it seemed like we had a good connection, so I asked her out on a date after a few weeks of back and forth. We were really hitting it off on the date and after that she invited me back to her place. �We were watching a David Lynch movie, sipping vodka and I thought things were going in the right direction. I tried to kiss her, but she moved back and said "she didn't know me like that". �She just wanted to "hangout", but was uncomfortable with me even cuddling with her. �

At this point I was pissed - I had spent close to a grand on this date - renting a 2002 Phantom, a duel double axis tourbillon Swiss chronograph, getting my clothes custom tailored, traveling to another state, taking her out to one of the finest dining establishments. �I left her bedroom determined to get just revenge on this reprobated tease.

I searched her kitchen and found nothing but condiments. However, under her kitchen sink I found some powdered Drano. �I took the powdered Drano and mixed it in with the salt in her salt shaker. �Then I mixed the Drano with the sugar in her sugar bowl. After that, I turned on the gas to her stove, making the gas pour out without making it ignite. �Then I left.

I wish her nothing but the worst. To this day I am still angry about it.


Wow man, you are doing it too fucking wrong.  No girl owes you ass for spending money except prostitutes and it sounds like for the amount you spent, you would've been better off going that route initially.  You sound like you have some serious mental issues or you're just a spoiled fucking brat, I don't know you like that.  Or you're just a troll, in either case, you suck.
ill murray, can you remind me why you think im a kook

@thewilleasley

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Re: tinder
« Reply #215 on: May 23, 2014, 07:35:21 PM »
Tinder sucks. Chick's are mad flaky on it. A few months ago, I met this one from girl from another state and it seemed like we had a good connection, so I asked her out on a date after a few weeks of back and forth. We were really hitting it off on the date and after that she invited me back to her place.  We were watching a David Lynch movie, sipping vodka and I thought things were going in the right direction. I tried to kiss her, but she moved back and said "she didn't know me like that".  She just wanted to "hangout", but was uncomfortable with me even cuddling with her.  

At this point I was pissed - I had spent close to a grand on this date - renting a 2002 Phantom, a duel double axis tourbillon Swiss chronograph, getting my clothes custom tailored, traveling to another state, taking her out to one of the finest dining establishments.  I left her bedroom determined to get just revenge on this reprobated tease.

I searched her kitchen and found nothing but condiments. However, under her kitchen sink I found some powdered Drano.  I took the powdered Drano and mixed it in with the salt in her salt shaker.  Then I mixed the Drano with the sugar in her sugar bowl. After that, I turned on the gas to her stove, making the gas pour out without making it ignite.  Then I left.

I wish her nothing but the worst. To this day I am still angry about it.










You spent $1000 on a tinder date...






...with a girl who's fridge contains nothing but ketchup packets when she invites you over...






....And you still didn't smash?








Peter Zagreus

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Re: tinder
« Reply #216 on: May 23, 2014, 08:05:02 PM »
Maybe he was joking, guys.

ill_Murray

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Re: tinder
« Reply #217 on: May 23, 2014, 08:19:41 PM »
We get it Will, you're borderline illiterate, but you gotta cool it with the 6 GIFs in one reply.  Use your words like a big boy. 

ill murray, can you remind me why you think im a kook

@thewilleasley

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Re: tinder
« Reply #218 on: May 23, 2014, 08:56:10 PM »
We get it Will, you're borderline illiterate, but you gotta cool it with the 6 GIFs in one reply.  Use your words like a big boy. 



:03
IceJJFish

TheFifthColumn

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Re: tinder
« Reply #219 on: May 23, 2014, 08:58:32 PM »
Haha, good call on people calling out my story as b.s.     Note to self: Don't post while dusted and inebriated.

I was basing my post on GOOD BLOKE's post, where he said that he pissed on a girl's bathroom floor for not hooking up with him, but I tried to make mine sound as sadistic and douchey as possible. It was a joke, albeit in bad taste. I was just curious to see how people would react.

krookedjuice

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Re: tinder
« Reply #220 on: May 23, 2014, 11:21:31 PM »
Haha, good call on people calling out my story as b.s.     Note to self: Don't post while dusted and inebriated.

I was basing my post on GOOD BLOKE's post, where he said that he pissed on a girl's bathroom floor for not hooking up with him, but I tried to make mine sound as sadistic and douchey as possible. It was a joke, albeit in bad taste. I was just curious to see how people would react.

I thought it was in the best taste.

Rumpleforeskin

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Re: tinder
« Reply #221 on: May 24, 2014, 01:08:36 AM »
My info on Tinder is "If you're into butt stuff then swipe right and we'll get this started, but if not then you have no business on here."  and my default is just a picture of me as a baby.

Fairy Boy

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Re: tinder
« Reply #222 on: May 24, 2014, 01:39:47 PM »
My info on Tinder is "If you're into butt stuff then swipe right and we'll get this started, but if not then you have no business on here."  and my default is just a picture of me as a baby.

I like your style.

My current default is me with a friend's dog, profile says "bath salt enthusiast shopping for faces", and I usually start with "You have a pretty face, can I eat it?" I need to change it up, only naive pseudo-artsy 19-year-olds seem to be feeling it.
She takes it in the butt a lot now though so I suppose everything worked out.

police state

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Re: tinder
« Reply #223 on: May 24, 2014, 04:02:53 PM »
i wanna try this shit out so bad but you need a facebook account and fuuuuck that.  also Im in a steady relationship 3 years now
it's okay to hate but you need to apply all hate evenly and fairly.

tobey

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Re: tinder
« Reply #224 on: May 25, 2014, 11:21:31 PM »
so the girl i was talking about in the last page i randomly texted her saying "just got done season 7 of psych it was funny", she then just randomly said come over. i got her to come over here and she brought beer. i haven't had any sexual encounters with any girl in about 3 years so i was worried i would be the one hit quitter type deal, but that wasn't the case she started to give me head. that last 20 minutes in till we started to have sex and that last 30 minutes and then she gave me head again for another 20 minutes and still NOTHING. she is hot too and i only had a beer so im fucking bummed but she put in a lot of work so it was fun. hanging out with her again because why not?

castillo's curls

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Re: tinder
« Reply #225 on: May 26, 2014, 01:41:33 AM »
so the girl i was talking about in the last page i randomly texted her saying "just got done season 7 of psych it was funny", she then just randomly said come over. i got her to come over here and she brought beer. i haven't had any sexual encounters with any girl in about 3 years so i was worried i would be the one hit quitter type deal, but that wasn't the case she started to give me head. that last 20 minutes in till we started to have sex and that last 30 minutes and then she gave me head again for another 20 minutes and still NOTHING. she is hot too and i only had a beer so im fucking bummed but she put in a lot of work so it was fun. hanging out with her again because why not?

So 70 minutes of getting your dick wet and you didn't even cum? And you were sober too?
I'm sorry Tobey, I'm going to have to call bullshit on that one.

Altough if that were to happen to anyone it would be to Tobey I guess...



tobey

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Re: tinder
« Reply #226 on: May 26, 2014, 04:27:46 AM »
i take anti anxiety medication, i am always like that with a girl but im usually wasted and would think it was because of that, so next time if she comes over i won't take my medication and see if that works. Or i might just be gay so who knows

edit: i also had netflix playing in the background and we fooled around for about 2 and a half episodes of a sitcom, im not bragging that i can last that long it honestly sucks cause she was upset and thought i didn't find her attractive which wasn't the case
« Last Edit: May 26, 2014, 04:34:08 AM by tobey »

shark tits

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Re: tinder
« Reply #227 on: May 26, 2014, 06:44:46 AM »
i take anti anxiety medication, i am always like that with a girl but im usually wasted and would think it was because of that, so next time if she comes over i won't take my medication and see if that works. Or i might just be gay so who knows

edit: i also had netflix playing in the background and we fooled around for about 2 and a half episodes of a sitcom, im not bragging that i can last that long it honestly sucks cause she was upset and thought i didn't find her attractive which wasn't the case
what kinda medication? i fuck w/ benzos and any chance i get to jerk off, stuff comes out. is it like a longterm effect? for anyways, good for you getting to horseplay w/ a bird. i usedta hang out w/ this quadriplegic who would say shit like 'ejaculation is a must' but really it's just rad that she let you in. maybe replace your meds w/ booze next time?

tobey

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Re: tinder
« Reply #228 on: May 26, 2014, 07:00:19 AM »
^ im on paxil and geodon, the geodon is for panic attacks so that never effected me but the paxil is a type of SSRI so i think that's the problem

shark tits

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Re: tinder
« Reply #229 on: May 26, 2014, 07:58:18 AM »
^ im on paxil and geodon, the geodon is for panic attacks so that never effected me but the paxil is a type of SSRI so i think that's the problem
yo, wean yourself offa those ssris before ya shoot up a school or drown a family of kittens or some shit. fuck the pain away.

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Re: tinder
« Reply #230 on: May 26, 2014, 08:14:38 AM »
Tinder sucks. Chick's are mad flaky on it. A few months ago, I met this one from girl from another state and it seemed like we had a good connection, so I asked her out on a date after a few weeks of back and forth. We were really hitting it off on the date and after that she invited me back to her place.  We were watching a David Lynch movie, sipping vodka and I thought things were going in the right direction. I tried to kiss her, but she moved back and said "she didn't know me like that".  She just wanted to "hangout", but was uncomfortable with me even cuddling with her.  

At this point I was pissed - I had spent close to a grand on this date - renting a 2002 Phantom, a duel double axis tourbillon Swiss chronograph, getting my clothes custom tailored, traveling to another state, taking her out to one of the finest dining establishments.  I left her bedroom determined to get just revenge on this reprobated tease.

I searched her kitchen and found nothing but condiments. However, under her kitchen sink I found some powdered Drano.  I took the powdered Drano and mixed it in with the salt in her salt shaker.  Then I mixed the Drano with the sugar in her sugar bowl. After that, I turned on the gas to her stove, making the gas pour out without making it ignite.  Then I left.

I wish her nothing but the worst. To this day I am still angry about it.



Hey, you're this asshole, aren't you?


ha!
faggot.
We need Malto to release the pic of Biebel drunk in an elevator with his wiener hanging out.

TheFifthColumn

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Re: tinder
« Reply #231 on: May 26, 2014, 09:10:18 AM »
^
Na.

He's more humble, mature, humane, secure, mentally sound and emotionally stable than I am.

InternetDaddy

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Re: tinder
« Reply #232 on: May 26, 2014, 01:05:35 PM »
any advice on how to bail on someone without seeming like a huge douche? I got matched with this lady, we chatted for a while and ended up trading numbers. We're supposed to meet up tonight for a beer. From her pictures it was pretty obvious she was thick/a little chubby but I'm about that life so I wasn't phased. I ended up searching her phone number on facebook and her profile pops up...she must've been using old pictures from favorable angles because she is a goblin. She seems nice and I don't want to hurt her feelings too badly, plus this is my first tinder conversation/potential meetup so I have no idea what the etiquette is. help pls
Look I'm not selling anything that doesn't have my jizz on it. I don't care how much is offered.

Matze

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Re: tinder
« Reply #233 on: May 26, 2014, 01:57:57 PM »
You just go a gnar for having sex with an ugly chick in about 4 hours.

Monty Burns

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Re: tinder
« Reply #234 on: May 26, 2014, 02:15:50 PM »
just go out and have a good time , she might be super nice and funny , a new friend , drinking buddy or somebody to fuck

or if it doesnt work out , just say that

Hash Slinging Slasher

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Re: tinder
« Reply #235 on: May 26, 2014, 03:15:29 PM »
Expand Quote
Tinder sucks. Chick's are mad flaky on it. A few months ago, I met this one from girl from another state and it seemed like we had a good connection, so I asked her out on a date after a few weeks of back and forth. We were really hitting it off on the date and after that she invited me back to her place.  We were watching a David Lynch movie, sipping vodka and I thought things were going in the right direction. I tried to kiss her, but she moved back and said "she didn't know me like that".  She just wanted to "hangout", but was uncomfortable with me even cuddling with her.  

At this point I was pissed - I had spent close to a grand on this date - renting a 2002 Phantom, a duel double axis tourbillon Swiss chronograph, getting my clothes custom tailored, traveling to another state, taking her out to one of the finest dining establishments.  I left her bedroom determined to get just revenge on this reprobated tease.

I searched her kitchen and found nothing but condiments. However, under her kitchen sink I found some powdered Drano.  I took the powdered Drano and mixed it in with the salt in her salt shaker.  Then I mixed the Drano with the sugar in her sugar bowl. After that, I turned on the gas to her stove, making the gas pour out without making it ignite.  Then I left.

I wish her nothing but the worst. To this day I am still angry about it.

[close]









You spent $1000 on a tinder date...

What do you think this place is? Buzzfeed?




...with a girl who's fridge contains nothing but ketchup packets when she invites you over...






....And you still didn't smash?








What do you think this place is? Buzzfeed?
« Last Edit: May 26, 2014, 03:45:33 PM by Hash Slinging Slasher »

InternetDaddy

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Re: tinder
« Reply #236 on: May 26, 2014, 03:33:49 PM »
just go out and have a good time , she might be super nice and funny , a new friend , drinking buddy or somebody to fuck

or if it doesnt work out , just say that
good call man, I was overthinking this. Fuck it, worst case scenario I never see her again.
Look I'm not selling anything that doesn't have my jizz on it. I don't care how much is offered.

brycickle

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Re: tinder
« Reply #237 on: May 26, 2014, 04:05:31 PM »
No. Worst case scenario would be that she rapes and murders you.

 You and the D00D have turned this thread into a horrible head-on-collision between a short bus full of regular kids and a van full of paraplegics.



Monty Burns

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Re: tinder
« Reply #238 on: May 26, 2014, 04:06:48 PM »
Expand Quote
just go out and have a good time , she might be super nice and funny , a new friend , drinking buddy or somebody to fuck

or if it doesnt work out , just say that
[close]
good call man, I was overthinking this. Fuck it, worst case scenario I never see her again.

yeah I mean whats the worse that can happen , maybe you meet some new friends or maybe another girl , or end up in a conga line that stretches meters , miles , cities

anything can happen when you go out drinking

JB

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Re: tinder
« Reply #239 on: May 27, 2014, 07:12:45 AM »
No. Worst case scenario would be that she rapes and murders you.


at least you still got it in.