GARFIELD AND JON IN: MAIL MADNESS
It was just another boring day in the Arbuckle household, with Garfield laying snug in his litter box, Odie drooling saliva upon the floor and Jon organizing his sock drawer. They were in a fine mood despite the recent Lakers loss and Garfield thought he might even purr, but then remembered his weight problem and felt that it wasn't worth the effort. Odie made a sound but nobody saw it.
But all of a sudden the doorbell rang, chime chime! "Hmm I wonder who it could be at this hour," Jon mused, although the hour was not late in any shape or form.
"Maybe it's the mad scientist here with a new brain for u" Garfield murmured, feeling somewhat enraged at Jon. Why was he cursed with such a foolish owner? Perhaps the Egyptian pharaohs were to blame.
"Good morning Mr. Abuckle," said the mailman, with his moustache and short-shorts, and it struck Garfield that this federal employee resembled Freddie Mercury (RIP 1974 - 1988)
"Why hello there," Jon whizzed.
"Here's a letter for u," the postman said, handing it to Jon, who burbled in excitement. "Boy I wonder who it's from!"
He closed the door and tore into the letter like a raging lion, hungry for its meat. "Oh. Just a bill," Jon said, disappointedly. He sighed and put it on the counter, where Garfield snuck a peak. It was for a book Jon had ordered, "Oraganize Your Sock Drawer In Three E-Z Steps." The obese orange cat was confounded once again.
Then all of a sudden the door knocked again. "Hmmm I wonder who it could be?" Jon mentioned to Garfield, who just took it in stride.
It was the mail-man again. "More letters for u Mr. Arbuckle" he observed, handing Jon a stack of mail. "Wow lotsa mail today" Jon said, slamming the door shut and noticing Odie. "Hmm, bill, bill... oh wait, this one says u may have already won a sweepstakes. Let's keep hold of this one, boys!" It was moments like these that were the bane of Garfield's feline life, and he composed a short prayer for God to kill Jon, nothing happened though. At least not right away.
Another knock at the door! "Why I never..." Jon said, opening the door to see the mailman once again. "More mail Mr. Arbuckle," the honorable mailman said, handing Jon a huge pile of envelopes in various shapes and colours. Confused, Jon dumped it on the table and scratched his head. "Must be a build-up from Christmas," he said, which plainly disgusted Garfield. What an asinine comment to make, Garfield thought. It was base hooliganism in the first degree.
But then, there was a fourth knock at the door! "Want me to get the rifle?" Garfield said, but Jon paid no attention. He opened the door---it wasn't the mailman this time though. It was a huge dump truck, filled to the brim with letters and envelopes. Over the rumbling engine a voice cried "mail call!" and then the truck dumped the mail in the door, flooding jon and the entire house with pieces of paper. Garfield floated to the top in a freak of physics, but all you could see of Odie were the tops of his ears, and Jon was completely buried.
"All this mail, what are we going to do?!" Jon cried, swimming upward in the mailstrom. Somewhere, Odie yipped.
"I think I can handle this," Garfield muttered.
Fifteen minutes later Garfield, Jon and Odie stood outside. "Stand back," the clever cat ordered, "and try not to inhale the noxious fumes." He struck a match and threw it inside the house, which burst into flame in seconds. "Well that settles that," Garfield declared, once again honoring his republican ancestors.
Jon goggled at his home, now a blazing wreck, and fainted dead away. Odie plopped down beside him and played dead.
"Hey, what happened to that guy" asked a random passerby.
"I guess you could say the heat got to him," Garfield quipped.
Topic: Another Garfield Fan Fiction for u (Read 1087 times)