Author Topic: I witnessed a, "mass shooting," and I think it's fucked me up  (Read 2934 times)

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zeepers

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I witnessed a, "mass shooting," and I think it's fucked me up
« on: October 29, 2015, 10:45:25 PM »
http://www.newsweek.com/35000-reward-offered-find-suspect-florida-zombicon-shooting-387724

http://www.winknews.com/2015/10/26/reward-for-information-on-zombicon-shooting-now-stands-at-35k/

Not even really sure where to begin with this one, but it may get long, and dark. I haven't actually recapped that night since this all happened, so my apologies in advance, but holy fuck...

A little back story; this event has been happening in my hometown for the past 7 or 8 years now, and when it first started it was all about celebrating the fact that our little town in Florida had a scene from a major movie (Day of the Dead) filmed in it. It was a true, "con," where everyone dressed up and it was extremely local to begin with. It was one of the highlights of the year. Over the past few years its turned into a drunken mess where literally 20k people are crammed into 4 city blocks.

I haven't been going for the past few years, and was especially adamant about not going this year.  A gathering like this can only happen so many times before some gnarly shit goes down. gnarlier than people getting drunk and passing out in the street. I recently started dating a girl who moved down here from up north, and it was her first year being here for the convention, and she was planning on going with some friends from work. I had previous engagements that night, but told her I would pick her up around midnight since she was planning on drinking and I was going to be sober.

I parked on the outskirts of downtown right at about 11:35 PM, and made my way into the fucking mess of drunken humans. I'm not kidding when I say this, the whole city smelled like B.O. and fucking desperation. Picture this; the worst music festival you could ever imagine, with no music at all, and the whole crowd is drunk/ on drugs and from Florida...  I could easily spot who was fucked up on more than just alcohol, and it gave me a creepy feeling from the start. Totally skeeved. I was planning on grabbing her and her friends and getting the fuck out of there as soon as possible. I called her and she tells me to meet her in front of a certain restaurant. I reluctantly made my way down there with full intention of going home as soon as I saw her.

I met her and her friends in front of the restaurant, we exchanged hellos and talked for about 4 or 5 minutes before one of her friends suggested we go across the street to get drinks. I give my girl the look of, "lets get the fuck out of this hell hole," and she gives me the look of, "well let's just have one." keep in mind, she's been drinking all night, and is fully not able to handle something if shit were to go down. she grabs my hand and we make our way into the street.

these next events happen in about 30 - 45 seconds, but felt like a fucking lifetime. when real shit goes down, and your adrenaline kicks in like it never has before, time 100% slows down.

as soon as we make it into the middle of the street, 6 or 7 pops go off, I feel something instantly sting my leg. "what kind of asshole throws a firework into the middle of the street?" I look down, leg is fine, look up, people are running, look to my left back to where I was just standing, "HE'S SHOT! HE'S SHOT!" someone calls out standing over a body laying in it's own blood. (turns out it was the dude's brother, sadly.) I honestly think my brain blocked out seeing the actual person, as all I remember is how red the blood was in the street and how dark the figure laying on the ground was.

Fight or flight kicks in, I turn to run, I make it two steps before I realize, "oh, my girlfriend isn't with me." I turn back around and see a pair of legs on the ground with two people over them. I run over, and it's her. "I GOT SHOT I GOT SHOT!" she yells. I look at her leg, there's a hole, but it's not bleeding and it only looks like the first few layers of skin are broken. (turns out we got hit with part of the hollow tip bullet that exploded. this is about a minute after the initial gunfire goes off.) I check to see if she's okay, she's coherent. I scoop her up, Hercules this drunken zombie over my shoulder and run down the block as fast as I can as thousands of people on one street scatter in every direction. I get her about a block and a half away and set her down to check on her. I'm fully running on autopilot at this point, completely numb to what was going on, but I knew at the time the likelihood of more shots going off was probably pretty slim. It's weird that I thought that in that moment, but I can't explain it.

she's fully screaming at this point, and I mean she's freaking the fuck out. yelling about "THE CHILDREN! WHAT IF THAT WAS A CHILD!?" full on breakdown. keep in mind, there's maybe 15k people there at this time, and 500 feet away from the shooting, no one knows whats actually going on because of how many people are there. I'm dealing with this drunk mess, and people are making faces and gestures at me while I'm consoling her and trying to make sure she doesn't lose it (which she did anyway, and rightfully so.)

Word quickly spreads about what happened and full on chaos ensues. Cop cars trying to drive through thousands of people as I'm continuing to get us farther and farther away from the scene. sirens, people screaming, and literally running for their lives. me? I'm still on autopilot, completely numb to what's going on. looking back on it, thank god I fell into that mind set because it fully shielded me from actually taking in what was happening at that moment.

I get us back to the car after about 35 minutes, she calms down eventually, we get home, shower, and then I full on went blank about an hour and a half after everything happened. total shock like i've never felt before. the thousand mile stare is in full effect and I can't help it. the weight of what happened was finally hitting me. I'm not lying when I say this, 2 minutes before a man was murdered, I was standing where he took his last steps. I passed out that night, completely numb.

The next day was still spent in disbelief, but for the most part I feel okay. I'm trying to tell myself what happened must have been gang related (which it doesn't seem like that now,) and it was a once in a lifetime event that I should be thankful I survived... I've always been pretty strong willed mentally, I've lived through some "real life shit," to say the least, but that night, trying to fall asleep, my brain took me places I never want to be again. I saw every possible outcome of what could have happened that night. I'm telling myself that had I got there 5 minutes earlier, or 5 minutes later, it could have been a completely different story. I can't sleep that night, and couldn't for a few nights after that.

Slowly things return to normal, I'm not thinking about what happened as much, and honestly I'm trying to tell myself that something that traumatizing isn't going to affect me. once in a lifetime, right?

Well now, less than three weeks later, issues are manifesting itself. I'm extremely skiddish about loud noises now. In a way I've never ever been before. I was at work today, heard a loud bang in the hallway from my office, heard my office door open, and the only thought I had was that a gunman was charging into the room. no questions about it, that's what was happening. turns out, fed ex guy. who would have thought? the other day, a laundry detergent bottle had been squeezed to get the last little bit of soap out, and when it reformed and made that loud pop from across my girl's apartment, I jumped out of fear. last night, I had a dream I was being robbed at gunpoint, saw the gun to my head, I was done for.

I do a form of public speaking (so to speak LOL) that involves me being in large crowds and social settings... every time I've been in those environments since, I question if something tragic is going to happen. I'm completely turned off to the idea of being out in social gatherings now, not in a way that's agoraphobic, but in a way that could really fuck with the trajectory of my social life/ second career.

I guess I'm posting this to ask for advice, for help, and honestly, to get some of this shit off my chest. I've thought about going to a support group for something like this, but I wouldn't know where to begin. I'm not trying to get on meds to deal with this, but I have thought about seeing a therapist for the first time. dude, has anyone dealt with something similar to this??? I know that question seems kind of out there, but has anyone ever been in a mass setting and something disturbing/ life altering has gone down?

my apologies for the extremely long post, but that isn't something I could get out in a paragraph. any advice would be fucking appreciated.

tldr: was 10 feet away from a mass shooting that happened in my town and I'm pretty sure its traumatized me. help?
« Last Edit: October 29, 2015, 10:54:26 PM by zeepers »

Tracer

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Re: I witnessed a, "mass shooting," and I think it's fucked me up
« Reply #1 on: October 29, 2015, 10:52:07 PM »
link doesn't work. these mass shooting traumatize everyone, mostly the shooter is suicidal hoping to go out big. it sucks florida has so many guns, they aren't there to "not be used"

said it before it's time to ban guns in America, you can be free and not have human killers in your pocket

pussy popper,pot smoker

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Re: I witnessed a, "mass shooting," and I think it's fucked me up
« Reply #2 on: October 29, 2015, 11:46:42 PM »
shit, i was going to post some long ass reply about situations that happened around me, but i'll save that for later, but i hope you are doing well, if you need to chat with somebody or something hit me up.

Silky Johnson

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Re: I witnessed a, "mass shooting," and I think it's fucked me up
« Reply #3 on: October 30, 2015, 12:23:34 AM »
Damn dude that's some heavy stuff, definitely look into some sort of counseling/therepy just to work through some of the stuff you went through, can't imagine how much of a hold that would have on somebody. Stay strong bud

weedpop

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Re: I witnessed a, "mass shooting," and I think it's fucked me up
« Reply #4 on: October 30, 2015, 01:01:21 AM »
You likely have PTSD. Go get some counselling and deal with this shit before it becomes an impediment to your life/career. You don't necessarily have to go on drugs btw as therapy can be effective for this type of thing. Try to find someone who does prolonged-exposure or cognitive processing therapy - those seem to be the most effective treatments. Also, you should probably get the hell out of Florida before some other fucked up shit happens to you.


Paco Supreme

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Re: I witnessed a, "mass shooting," and I think it's fucked me up
« Reply #5 on: October 30, 2015, 04:16:16 AM »
As stated above, the person to talk to this about is a councillor or someone similar to that, I know a young kid who witnessed a robbery gone wrong a few years back and he never talked to anyone and it messed him up pretty bad, think on the positives my friend and i hope you get a clearer head soon

essal

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Re: I witnessed a, "mass shooting," and I think it's fucked me up
« Reply #6 on: October 30, 2015, 09:37:15 AM »
What you describe is typical post traumatic stress reactions. Talk to someone who knows how to deal with it. If you are able to go to a VA I'm sure that they can point you in the right direction.

Deal with it fast and get a professional to help you out.

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Re: I witnessed a, "mass shooting," and I think it's fucked me up
« Reply #7 on: October 30, 2015, 09:42:34 AM »
Therapy. Therapy. Therapy. Psychiatry. Psychiatry. Psychiatry.

I'm so sorry for what you've gone through and what you're going through. I can't imagine how I'd be affected if I witnessed something like that.

But seriously...SLAP boards are not the place to get help. Talk to someone professional.

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Re: I witnessed a, "mass shooting," and I think it's fucked me up
« Reply #8 on: October 30, 2015, 01:04:34 PM »
What you describe is typical post traumatic stress reactions. Talk to someone who knows how to deal with it. If you are able to go to a VA I'm sure that they can point you in the right direction.

Deal with it fast and get a professional to help you out.
Unless he's a veteran he can't go to the VA. Talk to the agency who was running the incident. They should be able to hook you up with someone to talk to.

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Re: I witnessed a, "mass shooting," and I think it's fucked me up
« Reply #9 on: October 30, 2015, 01:47:56 PM »
The only thing that's going to help is time.


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Re: I witnessed a, "mass shooting," and I think it's fucked me up
« Reply #10 on: October 30, 2015, 01:51:35 PM »
that is so gnarly.  i'm so glad you're alright.  


i had a gun pointed right in my face a few months ago and came away unscathed.  needless to say i was pretty fucked up from it for a while... trust me when i saw time will pass, and you will be fine.  

zeepers

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Re: I witnessed a, "mass shooting," and I think it's fucked me up
« Reply #11 on: October 30, 2015, 03:54:01 PM »
I sincerely want to thank everyone who's taken the time to read that long ass post and contribute their advice, kind words, and best wishes. Thank you to everyone for the PMs too and I will respond asap.

Writing that post in itself was extremely therapeutic because it forced me to write out those events and it made me relive that night in a way I hadn't yet done. Every single person who had advice, know that I've taken it to heart. I called my general practitioner who I've been going to for years to set up an appointment, and I'll be seeing him Monday morning at 10. I have a feeling he's going to refer me to a psych doctor, which I am fully willing to go see. Last night, after writing that post, I was laying in bed, my girlfriend sleeping next to me. She coughed and it jarred me so fucking bad. I think the fact that everything was so fresh on my mind contributed to that, but after that happened, I knew I had to do something about this.

I talked to a close friend of mine about everything this morning and he suggested I should go to a gun range and actually shoot a gun. I'm all about healthy outlets when it comes to dealing with trauma, but I never would have thought about doing that. His point was that being in that environment and being around people who are using guns responsibly, it could be good for my psyche. He also brought up the fact that I would familiarize myself with the sound of actual gunfire so not everything freaks me out instantly. I know I'm at the point where I wouldn't freak out in that environment or lose it, and it could be a good option. I'm gonna take it one day at a time though...

seriously though, I've been lurking slap for years and years and years, and I know the rep it has, but there are so many people on here who have good hearts and actually give a shit about their peers. I felt that first hand with all your responses. thank you to everyone. I can't say that enough.

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Re: I witnessed a, "mass shooting," and I think it's fucked me up
« Reply #12 on: October 30, 2015, 07:42:02 PM »
Sorry to hear it.  I've been robbed at gunpoint, witnessed a strong arm robbery, was held up at knifepoint, and was in a similar situation like that believe it or not.  Luckily no one around me was shot but I saw the chaos firsthand.

I'm not a professional so take what I say with a grain of salt, but try to remember that it was sort of a freak accident.  Most of the time people robbing you don't actually want to hurt you, they just need money.  My experience is to try not to let the fear control you.  I'm impressed by how you handled the situation, maybe you could find comfort in your ability to take action.  Realizing that you are messed up from it is a big step to take, and now you can start to work to get better. 

Talk to people if you feel upset and remember that normal people are out there.  There's no shame in being fucked up from something like that.  I don't blame you for not liking crowded places.  It may take time to get back to normal, I'm still sketched out by people sometimes.  Wishing you the best man.

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Re: I witnessed a, "mass shooting," and I think it's fucked me up
« Reply #13 on: October 30, 2015, 07:54:57 PM »
I had a car run me off the road and two guys jump out with guns and rush my car shooting at me. The only reason I didn't get killed as because I ran well. No matter how tough you think you are getting victimized by people with guns trying to kill you opens your eyes to something horrifying about him humman nature and our culture. For 3 days I didn't leave my apartment and it took about 3 years for me to stop thinking about it. For a long time I couldn't let people drive the same speed as me. Really, life is precious and fucked up shit happens. Just got to live right so if you do get taken out, you are comfortable with the life you lived.


Sorry that happens to you man but just focus on being lucky and learning a valuable life lesson.

essal

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Re: I witnessed a, "mass shooting," and I think it's fucked me up
« Reply #14 on: October 30, 2015, 08:00:37 PM »
I talked to a close friend of mine about everything this morning and he suggested I should go to a gun range and actually shoot a gun. I'm all about healthy outlets when it comes to dealing with trauma, but I never would have thought about doing that. His point was that being in that environment and being around people who are using guns responsibly, it could be good for my psyche. He also brought up the fact that I would familiarize myself with the sound of actual gunfire so not everything freaks me out instantly. I know I'm at the point where I wouldn't freak out in that environment or lose it, and it could be a good option. I'm gonna take it one day at a time though...
Talking about how you experienced it often helps, especially when people listen and understand what's up. This is the reason why there are so many veteran clubs.

As for gunrange, why not... One advice given to a friend of mine after serving in Afghanistan was to A) Run over all the trash in the road (as long as it looked soft) to stop being scared of IEDs and B) Have a friend pop balloons behind your back from time to time. These came from a psych and wasn't some random shit. As weird as it might sound, to familiarize yourself with what you're scared might be a good idea. I'd talk to my doc first though and see what they'll recommend.

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Re: I witnessed a, "mass shooting," and I think it's fucked me up
« Reply #15 on: October 30, 2015, 10:15:10 PM »
You could leave America? Or move to a part with less gun crime, if such a state exists. It could certainly make you feel safer because it would be safer (depending where you go of course).

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Alan

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Re: I witnessed a, "mass shooting," and I think it's fucked me up
« Reply #16 on: October 31, 2015, 03:10:07 PM »
If you have ptsp, wouldn't guns be the last thing you should be around?
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ADOLF SHITLER

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Re: I witnessed a, "mass shooting," and I think it's fucked me up
« Reply #17 on: October 31, 2015, 03:53:53 PM »
fucked up, ive seen shootings, stabbings, a nigga hit in the head with a bat etc that shit sticks with u

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Re: I witnessed a, "mass shooting," and I think it's fucked me up
« Reply #18 on: October 31, 2015, 04:17:13 PM »
If you have ptsp, wouldn't guns be the last thing you should be around?

Isn't that how Bradley cooper died

zeepers

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Re: I witnessed a, "mass shooting," and I think it's fucked me up
« Reply #19 on: October 31, 2015, 05:30:20 PM »
If you have ptsp, wouldn't guns be the last thing you should be around?

Well.. Yeah, maybe. I've thought about that, but I don't think the fact that a gun was involved is the main root of the issue. Sure, that adds to it, but I'm pretty sure its a multitude of things contributing to the problem. I know that I would be able to handle myself in a situation like being at a gun range after all this, or else I wouldn't put myself in the position in the first place. I think there's more benefit to the idea than there are negative consequences. I do see your point though.

You could leave America? Or move to a part with less gun crime, if such a state exists. It could certainly make you feel safer because it would be safer (depending where you go of course).



I also don't think it's specifically a problem that relates to being in the states. It's completely fucked that the US has THE reputation for being the country where this takes place the most, but I certainly wouldn't leave my friends/ life over something that could happen basically anywhere in the world.

I talked to a close friend of mine about everything this morning and he suggested I should go to a gun range and actually shoot a gun. I'm all about healthy outlets when it comes to dealing with trauma, but I never would have thought about doing that. His point was that being in that environment and being around people who are using guns responsibly, it could be good for my psyche. He also brought up the fact that I would familiarize myself with the sound of actual gunfire so not everything freaks me out instantly. I know I'm at the point where I wouldn't freak out in that environment or lose it, and it could be a good option. I'm gonna take it one day at a time though...
Talking about how you experienced it often helps, especially when people listen and understand what's up. This is the reason why there are so many veteran clubs.

As for gunrange, why not... One advice given to a friend of mine after serving in Afghanistan was to A) Run over all the trash in the road (as long as it looked soft) to stop being scared of IEDs and B) Have a friend pop balloons behind your back from time to time. These came from a psych and wasn't some random shit. As weird as it might sound, to familiarize yourself with what you're scared might be a good idea. I'd talk to my doc first though and see what they'll recommend.

This is exactly what I'm saying. Immersion therapy isn't for everyone, but if you have a fundamental voice in the back of your mind that knows everything is going to be okay, then immersion therapy is for you. That's why the idea of going to a gun range sounds so appealing. I know that's a relatively safe environment, and I wouldn't be freaked if I saw someone walk by me with a gun.

That's the crazy thing about all this. It's a mixture of the right circumstances that lead to the feeling this way. It's not just a, "gun issue." Even after this my thoughts on gun control didn't change, because I know if someone wants to do something bad enough they're going to make it happen. I had just come from a one of the best gigs I've ever had, was fully set on getting in and getting out of there, and didn't want to drink or party OR submerse myself in that type of setting to begin with. All I had in mind was that I wanted to have a relaxing night. Plus, I already had a negative view point of the situation.

Put it this way, I'm not afraid of someone barging into my house and shooting up the place. If I had my house broken into or something along those lines, it may be a different story. It's completely circumstantial. The shitty part about it is that the bare bones of the circumstance (large crowds, social gathering with strangers, jarring noises, etc.) can repeat itself over and over again. This is where the issue lays.

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Re: I witnessed a, "mass shooting," and I think it's fucked me up
« Reply #20 on: October 31, 2015, 10:43:31 PM »
If you have ptsp, wouldn't guns be the last thing you should be around?

Well.. Yeah, maybe. I've thought about that, but I don't think the fact that a gun was involved is the main root of the issue. Sure, that adds to it, but I'm pretty sure its a multitude of things contributing to the problem. I know that I would be able to handle myself in a situation like being at a gun range after all this, or else I wouldn't put myself in the position in the first place. I think there's more benefit to the idea than there are negative consequences. I do see your point though.

You could leave America? Or move to a part with less gun crime, if such a state exists. It could certainly make you feel safer because it would be safer (depending where you go of course).



I also don't think it's specifically a problem that relates to being in the states. It's completely fucked that the US has THE reputation for being the country where this takes place the most, but I certainly wouldn't leave my friends/ life over something that could happen basically anywhere in the world.

I talked to a close friend of mine about everything this morning and he suggested I should go to a gun range and actually shoot a gun. I'm all about healthy outlets when it comes to dealing with trauma, but I never would have thought about doing that. His point was that being in that environment and being around people who are using guns responsibly, it could be good for my psyche. He also brought up the fact that I would familiarize myself with the sound of actual gunfire so not everything freaks me out instantly. I know I'm at the point where I wouldn't freak out in that environment or lose it, and it could be a good option. I'm gonna take it one day at a time though...
Talking about how you experienced it often helps, especially when people listen and understand what's up. This is the reason why there are so many veteran clubs.

As for gunrange, why not... One advice given to a friend of mine after serving in Afghanistan was to A) Run over all the trash in the road (as long as it looked soft) to stop being scared of IEDs and B) Have a friend pop balloons behind your back from time to time. These came from a psych and wasn't some random shit. As weird as it might sound, to familiarize yourself with what you're scared might be a good idea. I'd talk to my doc first though and see what they'll recommend.

This is exactly what I'm saying. Immersion therapy isn't for everyone, but if you have a fundamental voice in the back of your mind that knows everything is going to be okay, then immersion therapy is for you. That's why the idea of going to a gun range sounds so appealing. I know that's a relatively safe environment, and I wouldn't be freaked if I saw someone walk by me with a gun.

That's the crazy thing about all this. It's a mixture of the right circumstances that lead to the feeling this way. It's not just a, "gun issue." Even after this my thoughts on gun control didn't change, because I know if someone wants to do something bad enough they're going to make it happen. I had just come from a one of the best gigs I've ever had, was fully set on getting in and getting out of there, and didn't want to drink or party OR submerse myself in that type of setting to begin with. All I had in mind was that I wanted to have a relaxing night. Plus, I already had a negative view point of the situation.

Put it this way, I'm not afraid of someone barging into my house and shooting up the place. If I had my house broken into or something along those lines, it may be a different story. It's completely circumstantial. The shitty part about it is that the bare bones of the circumstance (large crowds, social gathering with strangers, jarring noises, etc.) can repeat itself over and over again. This is where the issue lays.

Trust me, there are plenty of countries around the world where it is way less likely to happen. In fact, of the three countries I've lived in (The UK, Japan and Hong Kong) I can only really remember one mass shooting in Dunblaine. I wouldn't even say the UK is a very safe place to live though either...
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Bobby Peru

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Re: I witnessed a, "mass shooting," and I think it's fucked me up
« Reply #21 on: November 01, 2015, 12:54:20 AM »
If you have ptsp, wouldn't guns be the last thing you should be around?

It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders about this but I think some approval from a therapist and/or fellow PTSD sufferer first might be a safe bet.

My sister had a friend in college who had PTSD from a shooting in his high school. I want to say he may have even been wounded from it. But from the brief bit my sister told me about him, he had some similar reactions to noises. There was another guy I went to school with who, after returning from Iraq, hit the deck during fireworks at a local festival. I don't mean to freak you out but just to say that your symptoms and reactions are far from uncommon and thus treatable and relatable.

Thanks for the firsthand account. I don't envy that experience and it's awful that this is a frequent occurrence in this country. But it sounds like you're approaching everything honestly and openly and that's a hell of a first step.

brycickle

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Re: I witnessed a, "mass shooting," and I think it's fucked me up
« Reply #22 on: November 01, 2015, 04:49:24 AM »
If you have ptsp, wouldn't guns be the last thing you should be around?

Isn't that how Bradley cooper died
This is fucking golden.

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layzieyez

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Re: I witnessed a, "mass shooting," and I think it's fucked me up
« Reply #23 on: November 01, 2015, 09:00:10 AM »
I'm sorry you had to go through that situation. 

My best advice would be to go see a professional with expertise in trauma. 

Don't listen to what a friend thinks is a good idea.  Listen to what a professional with a practice based on evidence instead of good ideas that might work but are really just stabbing in the dark.

It sounds to me that in your current state,  you need someone to lead you to healing instead of more harm.  If the first therapist doesn't do it for you, then go to another that can help you.

Ask about the course of treatment and how that will help you.  Follow through with the process.  It might take a bit to overcome this.
I take everything I said back. The board hit me in the nuts for the first time ever today, because i was wearing these shits.

givecigstosurfgroms

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Re: I witnessed a, "mass shooting," and I think it's fucked me up
« Reply #24 on: November 01, 2015, 10:52:29 AM »
If you can go to the country for a couple of whiles, get a bag of weed and look at trees and wilderness. There's prolly good 'therapists' and bad ones but nature's reliable.
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Chavo

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Re: I witnessed a, "mass shooting," and I think it's fucked me up
« Reply #25 on: November 01, 2015, 10:25:02 PM »
I was in the walkway (street) when an old man plowed his car into the Santa Monica Farmer's Market back in 2003. Fortunately, I was a good 15 feet away from his pathway by the time he crossed the intersection I had been in. Several of my friends were still in the street, inches from the car, but all left unscathed. Some of my co-workers stuck around to see if they could help, but I was in full "flight" mode (thinking it was some sort of terrorist act) and booked it all the way back to the office.

I only caught glimpses of what was going on, but unlike your situation, there's no sound like massive bodies being picked off of a car at high speeds. I think that sticking around to see the aftermath (everyone remembered the mother clutching her dead child) would have been far more traumatic than narrowly avoiding the act itself.

Although the fear of either crowds or erratic drivers did not persist, I still have some residual fear of being around situations where I can neither control the outcome nor escape if danger arises (a common example is crossing the street at any crosswalk and having faith that the stopped driver is aware/willing enough to keep his foot on the brake long enough to keep you alive). I'm mostly just grateful that I wasn't one of the victims. Also, what my dad experienced in 'Nam on a weekly basis was probably worse than my entire catalog of bad experiences.

Made In China

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Re: I witnessed a, "mass shooting," and I think it's fucked me up
« Reply #26 on: November 01, 2015, 10:52:52 PM »
If you have ptsp, wouldn't guns be the last thing you should be around?

Actually a lot of phobias are treated with gradual exposure to whatever the person's afraid of so the patient eventually comes to terms with the phobia. But that's not the same thing as PTSD so you should definitely wait to hear from a professional first before hitting the gun range. If there's anything I've learned these last few years, the most important thing might be that the human psyche is a very fragile thing. One wrong turn can fuck someone up for a lifetime and lead to some dire consequences. Most people in this thread have already suggested that you go talk to someone as soon as you can, and that's the best thing you could do in this situation. I'm sorry you had to experience that man, just reading about shot chills down my spine.

Joust Ostrich

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Re: I witnessed a, "mass shooting," and I think it's fucked me up
« Reply #27 on: November 04, 2015, 07:48:54 PM »
Well this is fucked.  I'm sorry you and your girl had to experience that.  I hope you are feeling a little easier as the days go by and the doc visit is helping.  Good luck.

Bonefish

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Re: I witnessed a, "mass shooting," and I think it's fucked me up
« Reply #28 on: November 04, 2015, 08:19:26 PM »
i saw a guy fall down an elevator shaft when i was a boy

straight

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Re: I witnessed a, "mass shooting," and I think it's fucked me up
« Reply #29 on: November 04, 2015, 08:21:45 PM »
i saw a guy fall down an elevator shaft when i was a boy

I've seen a video of a chinese escalator eating a woman