Goddamn under knowledge, that's gnarly.
I'm actually based in NY and have tons of injury stories - obviously mostly from being a skateboarder haha. The two that instantly come to mind are breaking my wrist when I was a flight attendant and the other was tearing all the ligaments in my left ankle when I lived in SD. I'll spare you all the photos. The most interesting bit about it is probably that since I couldn't skate for an estimated 6 months I just dipped and traveled - rather hobbled - around the world for a year. I did handcuff my friend to a tree, halfway up the tree, when I was 8 too. His mom always reminds me when I see her.
Anyway, PM me if you'd wanna meet up and chat.