Honestly, in my experience, the dirt path has been dry almost every time I took the back woods. Sure, you get that smelly lube mix after a while, but that's fine.
One time I got shit dick and it smelt so bad I had to fake cum. Just moaned and spat on his back. Fucking gross, but I was playing with fire, in fairness.
Anyway, Chief, how are all the lads from Dying to Live doing?
Would you write an autobiography?