worst things you used to jacked off to ? not porn

[Level 60 Dwarf Paladin]

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Agree with this guy ^. She's 51 and smokin, you guys are fucked up. Can't wait to see what your women look like at 50 plus.

[close]

Don't get it twisted, I didn't say she was a dog. I see her in the flesh not trussed up for filming. Don't worry yourself about my Mrs, she's got genetics on her side and is nearly 10 years younger than me.

Sorry dude, I just get really defensive of Elizabeth Hurley.

[Cuban_Lynx]

Now that I think about it, she was probably 35/36 when this came out. Not bad.

[straight]

all you backing cougar liz, try jerking to her current photos and tell me how that goes

[Level 60 Dwarf Paladin]

all you backing cougar liz, try jerking to her current photos and tell me how that goes

http://instagram.com/elizabethhurley1

You're telling me you wouldn't?

[JB]

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all you backing cougar liz, try jerking to her current photos and tell me how that goes

[close]

http://instagram.com/elizabethhurley1

You're telling me you wouldn't?

she looks amazing for 51.

[stabbedbywiggers]

Well when I was living in my car I woke up in walmart parking lot with a boner. I seen this lady that looked hot begging at the end of the parking isle, so I jerked a little imagining she was giving me head. Then I pulled up to her and she was a crusty old lady, I was gonna offer her 5 bucks to blow me, but I just drove under a bridge and nutted into a mcdonalds cup to the thought of it.

Another time I jerked off in the woods and got turned on by the possibility of some hikers running into me. I cleaned the jizz off my dick with leaves.

[Grind King Rims]

Well when I was living in my car I woke up in walmart parking lot with a boner. I seen this lady that looked hot begging at the end of the parking isle, so I jerked a little imagining she was giving me head. Then I pulled up to her and she was a crusty old lady, I was gonna offer her 5 bucks to blow me, but I just drove under a bridge and nutted into a mcdonalds cup to the thought of it.

Another time I jerked off in the woods and got turned on by the possibility of some hikers running into me. I cleaned the jizz off my dick with leaves.

...gnar'd.

[Mongoloid]

Well when I was living in my car I woke up in walmart parking lot with a boner. I seen this lady that looked hot begging at the end of the parking isle, so I jerked a little imagining she was giving me head. Then I pulled up to her and she was a crusty old lady, I was gonna offer her 5 bucks to blow me, but I just drove under a bridge and nutted into a mcdonalds cup to the thought of it.

Another time I jerked off in the woods and got turned on by the possibility of some hikers running into me. I cleaned the jizz off my dick with leaves.

This should give Stan the proper inspiration for  his next thread "most creative place you jerked off". Get to it Stan!

[stabbedbywiggers]

Ah, another one. When I was like a freshman, me and my friend would get drunk everynight and break into the highschool (doors were open) and would skate inside.

So we went into the girls locker room and I was like "dude Im gonna jack off in here", its like smelling panties ya know? So dude is waiting inside the locker room while Im jerking off in the girls shower, he cant see me, but then I busted a nut all over one of the girls shower.

Then we went to the middleschool across the street and climbed over the roof and broke mad ceiling tile to get inside the nurses office, mission impossible style, then we broke open the locked cabinets and stole some kids adderall.

They had cameras, but I guess they were just for show, never got caught.

[Iceman]

Then we went to the middleschool...

not gonna lie, i was scared for a second.

[Willie]

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all you backing cougar liz, try jerking to her current photos and tell me how that goes

[close]

http://instagram.com/elizabethhurley1

You're telling me you wouldn't?

[close]

she looks amazing for 51.

I thought she was the most amazing looking woman in her prime (and before that she was a Chelsea girl punk type which is another huge turn on).


That said, after I got over the shock of Hugh Grant looking for head elsewhere it dawned on me she was probably no fun. A couple of other millionaire husbands followed and now I assume she's a bummer IRL and the fantasy is gone.

[dirtyweemidden]

i think my first was Nadias topless scene in American Pie 'she takes her vitamins' I had it on VHS and pause/rewound that shit so many tapes the tape wore out hahaha

worst was the chick in the bath in the shining.. paused just before she turns gross.. theres a titty and bush, was more than enough for 12 year old me to paint the ceiling!

kids these days dont know how grim it was just a few short years ago

[childhood]

Evil-Lyn from the live-action movie version of "Masters of the Universe"