I've prioritised skating over everything else in my life that last 3 and a half years. I'm grateful for the progress I've been able to make and I'm really happy with my ability and excited to continue improving, but I've neglected everything else, including doing anything to improve my living situation, building deep relationships with friends, dating, studying and getting some kind of qualification, I haven't even held a consistent job for more than a year. The only real improvement I've made to my life as a whole is getting my mental health sorted, I'm finally starting to get somewhere with it. But really all I've got to show for the last nearly 4 years is being proficient at a meaningless activity. It makes me happy though, not many people have something they can be content doing forever like that.
I like my skate pals, but I often find myself thinking none of them are on my level, in terms of dedication and passion for skating, and Ive been feeling like I'm leaving a lot of them behind in skill level as well, no one seems to be as driven or consumed by it, and I feel alone in how much I define myself through skating and my passion for it. I wish I had at least one friend I could feel that I relate to in that way, and has the same kind of obsessive mentality about it. No one's out skating as consistently as I am, and I actually am becoming annoyed every time I get a message about what I've been up to and catching up, like dude you know where the fuck I hang out every day, I've been at my local more often than not for years, I never left what the fuck are you doing? I feel like the way I think is kind of pretentious some times, but I know being self aware enough to realise that kinda cancels it out though, and i never talk or act like I'm better than I am to anyone