Dear Slap:
I got finessed and I'm stressed
One time, I kissed a girl who looked like Big Black with a wig
i took her up to my apartment
i was about to fuck her and she asked, "before we do this, how much are you gonna pay me"
I gave her $5 and said that's all i had, but I didn't fuck her. Then she left. I heard she killed herself later that week, no lie.