Shit on ALL bartenders

[Jehoshaphat Augustus]

Short of the police and military there has never been a group of more inflated assholes who are enamored with the thought that what they do not only holds the world in place but makes it spin as well.

Bartenders dont do shit but overcharge and under pour alcohol

One of my favorite things to do after most bar times is to go in the bathroom and just unleash all piss and feces over EVERYTHING

So the next time I see that same bartender, I know (despite them having thought they are better than anyone) the only thing they really have done is cleaned up MY urine and dookie more recently than anyone. (in theory, I resort to this guerilla tactic often)

If you are a bartender or service staff:
Bring me my food and then Go fuck [kill] yourself and get a real job

What is that swag about?

Please feel free to defend yourself as a victimized drink slave or be a player and tell me how you recently ran out on your bill or gave your local bar an upper decker

Edited for copy and this sweet video

[slappies]

Woah dude, get 'em.

[pizzafliptofakie]

I prefer a more streamlined approach by way of throwing a lawnmower around in their parking lot.

[Jehoshaphat Augustus]

Shout out to atleast 2 bartenders or regular logical humans who have have been impacted by this post.

I prefer a more streamlined approach by way of throwing a lawnmower around in their parking lot.

You helped me realize I'm totally Rhinoing right now

[lampshade]

Shitting on ALL bartenders would require so much money, travel, and physical confrontation.  The logistics would be insane. 

[Bagelskate]

Shitting on ALL bartenders would require so much money, travel, and physical confrontation.  The logistics would be insane.

What if you did one huge shit on the whole lot of them. Make a bogus bartender convention or something, load up on food and Let loose.

[woodsman]

Most Bartenders don’t clean the bathroom. In SF it was always Hispanic dudes getting paid 8 bucks an hour who came in the morning and cleaned every thing. Bartenders don’t even mop the floors let alone clean up shit, the lazy bastards.

[Joclo]

I've "stink palmed" almost every bartender in the state of VA and halfway up/down the east coast. It's not as overt as shitting on them, but it seems to resonate a little deeper. Give it a shot sometime. I give it two thumbs up and usually a thumb caress of each of the bartenders cheeks.

[brycickle]

Then go buy your own booze and beer to drink at home, you dirty bitch.

[jakeumms]

I blame the 1988 movie Cocktail. Before that movie tried to do for drink donkeys what Top Gun did for fighter pilots people who slang drinks knew which side their bread was buttered on.

[Joe Pesci]

Most Bartenders don’t clean the bathroom. In SF it was always Hispanic dudes getting paid 8 bucks an hour who came in the morning and cleaned every thing. Bartenders don’t even mop the floors let alone clean up shit, the lazy bastards.

Exactly... bartenders don't clean bathrooms, someone who makes way less money does, I mean bartenders usually can't be lazy (depending where they work) but it's always gonna be bussers who already clean off tables etc that gotta clean that shit up

[HyenaChaser]

This is stupid and you're dumb

[Jehoshaphat Augustus]

This is stupid and you're dumb

Mirrors my sentiments towards that GoFundMe you made for your Instagram girlfriend.

The parent thread is called "whatever." Eat my cock.

[SHIREFLIP]

You know they make the kitchen staff clean up the piss and feces, right?

[guest1]

Short of the police and military there has never been a group of more inflated assholes who are enamored with the thought that what they do not only holds the world in place but makes it spin as well.

Bartenders dont do shit but overcharge and under pour alcohol

One of my favorite things to do after most bar times is to go in the bathroom and just unleash all piss and feces over EVERYTHING

So the next time I see that same bartender, I know (despite them having thought they are better than anyone) the only thing they really have done is cleaned up MY urine and dookie more recently than anyone. (in theory, I resort to this guerilla tactic often)

If you are a bartender or service staff:
Bring me my food and then Go fuck [kill] yourself and get a real job

What is that swag about?

Please feel free to defend yourself as a victimized drink slave or be a player and tell me how you recently ran out on your bill or gave your local bar an upper decker

Edited for copy and this sweet video

Sounds like somebody couldn’t handle their liquor and got kicked out.

[The Drew]

You never justified how you will shit on them...

will you just go to a bar, ask the bartender nicely to stand at a specified point and don't move, then climb up on the counter, drop trou and squeeze one out?

Or will you invite them back to your place for some shenaingans... give them a hot carl and ask him or her to politely leave?

[Frank]

lol you sound like one of those sorry fuckers whos tinder dates i used to blow up at work because their woman got bored and started to talk to me instead. maybe stop drinking if it leaves you helpless and frustrated. if you piss all over the rest room floor you are a disgusting piece of shit. the barkeep doesn't clean rest rooms you moron. some nicaraguan refugee probably does. way to show them barkeeps.

[HyenaChaser]

Expand Quote

This is stupid and you're dumb

[close]

Mirrors my sentiments towards that GoFundMe you made for your Instagram girlfriend.

The parent thread is called "whatever." Eat my cock.

You should work in a bar sometime, if you think bartenders are annoying dealing with customers is 10x worse

[doublesteveburger]

What a crummy thing to do to someone for them doing their job. Not coming at your or anything, but do you really think you're getting back at them in any way? What's the logic behind that?

[calvinsdream]

Goddamn service industry workers, always piling up the cash and living the good life

[Front Blunt]

I hope one day you can find peace. Shalom

Maybe you should stop going to bars

Also dont piss all over the bathrooms. Thats almost always someone else’s job, who most likely has it way worse.

[ArtVandelay]

You want all bartenders and service staff to “kill themelves and find a real job?” Awwww but then who would make you food, wait on you, pour you drinks and clean up your poo-poo, little guy??

[ArtVandelay]

Bartenders dont do shit but overcharge and under pour alcohol

Bartenders and wait/service staff actually do a lot more than this. I wouldn’t expect you to know this having never worked in the service industry -  but one of the main things they have to do, is deal with entitled assholes like yourself on a daily basis. So cut em’ some slack - most of them are just trying to pay rent like everybody else, and they shouldn’t have to clean up your shit and pee to do that.

[Jehoshaphat Augustus]

Shouts to all the drink slaves who finally got done carrying their glass crosses to the top of the hill all weekend for rich people and just now got the opportunity to check Slap.

you bottle tossing, torso wagging as you shake and not stir, self worshipping, under achieving ASSHOLES. I keep all my tips. Starve.

Keep acting like I'm the problem. Just know I'm not the only one. We're out here, ready to coat your "hard work" in fecal retribution.

[doublesteveburger]

you’re so fucking badass dude I can’t handle it

[JamesNtheGntPch]

We're out here, ready to coat your "hard work" in fecal retribution.

Hahahaha this can't be real!

[ChuckRamone]

try not being a barfly instead and you’ll be less miserable.

[bad joke]

hell fuckin yea dude finally someone comes out and sez it yo fuck them greasy ass too much cologne wearing fake alpha male acting way too much hair gel having horse laugh having swarthy bitchez man you the real mvp hosephat yo ill be right there shitting beside you like this was the fuckin Sochi olympics my g feel me? people got to know. people got to got to know. the muthafuckin buck stops here

[ChuckRamone]

damn. are you guys gonna watch each other’s rectums get spread apart by logs of shit? or maybe splutter out some nasty diarrhea. I can’t imagine either of you have healthy diets.

[bad joke]

little from column a, little from column b. for the record I eat sweet meats ju heard?