I drive up to the skatepark on a saturday night, put my meth pipe in my sock underneath my redneck camo pants so I can hit it in the bowl, put my 24oz beer in my hoodie and skate up to the park. I skate right infront of a cop car passing by and head up to the park. I get up there and its loaded with kids about 12-14 years of age, no one over the age of 16, then its all hits me. I realize I cant drink my beer and smoke cigs infront of these kids anymore, I question my whole life, me as a 30 year old dude doing the same dumb thing these kids are doing on a saturday night, I suddenly feel like a massive loser, what am I doing with my life I question. The massive reality of the situation hits every cell of my body. I quickly turn around and head back to my car and dip. That was the last time I ever stood on a skateboard, a year ago. I got sober shortly after that. Its kinda pathetic, but in that moment I realized skateboarding is just looser shit. Im still addicted to skate shit, but man, I watch videos now and it doesnt even seem gnarly and I dont get hype, it just looks stupid and pointless to me. I think that moment was just me realizing I need to finally grow up.