Started with breaking up with my girlfriend ahwile back but had too she was hanging out with another dude doing e and going too bars and shit, i always offered to take her but she would alsways say she was too sad and depressed or didnt feel good etc which i believed cause in the past she was a cutter etc, she never wanted too fuck claiming she wasnt comfortable in her body etc but kept going out with this guy. It fucking hurt and i held it together for awhile just studying and skating but eventually i caught up with me and i dwelled on it, each time i went drinking it was never a good buzz and the last time i went out i got so fucking drunk but i never black out but i wasnt in control, to make a long story short, i ended up breaking into an empty apartment on the main street in town, people at the party i was at called the cops cause i went into a girls room and tried to pass out thinking it was the spare room. My friend ending up getting me up but was yelling at me pushing me and shit but i never tried to hit him, he gave me 3 or 4 shots too the face and i left, i ended up climblibg a fire escape later to get my phone and wallet, still really drunk i walked past a cop on the ouside balcony i had just climbed up while he was out there and past another inside and shut myself in the toilet they left i got my shit.
I ended up walking home at 7 or 8 in the morning and my parents were talking to me, i ended up hitting my dad a few times in the face and pushed my mum around, i was arrested at home a went into the cell for a couple days then spent about a week in a mental hospital.
Im just at a fucked point in life being 19 and not knowing myself and the world around me anymore, ive also lost my sex drive but occasionally jerk off, i hardly want too skate even though i love it. Ive started going to a meditation class and a Buddhist temple as ive been interested about that for the past year. Im sober and trying to sort my shit out, as eventually i want to become a physiotherapist but the motivation is just not there at the moment. This is my contribution.