So for my birthday last summer I had a birthday party/ house warming thing at the house i had just moved into. I had all my friends come and my girlfriend wanted her dumb slut friend to come. I was against the slut coming because she is everything evil but she came anyway. I had just moved into this house so there wasn't any couches and none of my roommates had moved in yet so there were no beds in the house except mine. My friend Tom thought ahead and brought his own mattress with him and I told him he could put it on my bedroom floor and sleep there because my room was the only clean part of the house because all the other rooms were getting dirty from the party. So I get birthday wasted and start trying to convince my girlfriend and slut into a threesome but shit doesn't workout. My friend Tom starts asking me whatsup with slut and I tell him to go for it but just wear a condom because she's dirty and I give him a condom. So the parties pretty much over so me, my girlfriend, Tom, Slut and this random kid who none of us are really friends with but was drunk and needed a place to sleep head to my room. Random kid goes on my couch and falls asleep, tom and slut get on his mattress and me and my girl get in my bed. the lights go out and me and my girl hear tom and slut start going at it so we start fucking too. I tried to fuck for a little but whiskey dick was rampant and my birthday drunk drowsiness kicked in so I passed out. I wake up soaking wet and with one of the worst headaches of my life. Im still drunk and confused as fuck as to why I'm wet. I look down to see if I pissed myself but I was good. I look over at my girlfriend and see the biggest fucking piss puddle on a bed the world has ever known. I swear she might have pissed, chugged some water, then pissed again. So I jump up from bed and slam my head on the book shelve hanging above it which I didn't know about because it was my first night sleeping there. The banging of my head wakes everyone up, except my girlfriend, to me standing on my bed drenched in piss. They all start laughing at me but I quickly snitch my girl out and she wakes up to her realizing she pissed herself and the three people who slept in my room laughing at her. Bitch was embarrassed to say the least. so after the whole piss thing is cleaned my friend tells me how he fucked slut once with the condom then went in for round two bare dicked. I told him he should get checked out because I was dead serious about her being a dirty slut. At first he thought I was fucking with him but he went and got checked out anyway. She gave him chlamydia. So thank god my threesome plans fell through. Ill take waking up in a piss puddle to waking up with the clam any day.
After typing this story out I realize it isn't really an awkward sexual experience but fuck it. I'll post it anyway.
Topic: Awkward Sexual Experiences (Read 463794 times)