I was think about Anthony Bourdain who had to struggle day-in and day-out getting paid a lot of money to travel around the world and eat. It’s kind of a miracle he held out for as long as he did.
It’s the kind of struggle you really can’t appreciate until you’ve lived through it, I’m told.
This is true. Its a sad, scary lonely place. Looking back on my drug use its a fucking miracle I'm still alive. I was at my breaking point and wanted nothing more than to get off opiates. I finally reached out for help and was able to kick the habit. It's been about two years now, but I still get the urge to get fucking laced.
For me, it was all about escaping the pain. It was good for about a month and then I was waking up dope sick every morning and it turned into a constant quest to feel normal/get my drugs. Drug use will fuck someone up, but the roller coaster of trying to get well all the time is what destroyed a large part of my life. It turned me into the person I never wanted to be. The guilt I was carrying around was overwhelming.
Seriously, don't play around in that paint for long. Look around you right now and imagine all that shit being gone, because it will be. It's fucked up and sad and the government idiots dont have a clue about addiction. The people making the rules don'r even know how to crush up a fucking oxy. It's an individual journey that an addict must be willing to take if they want to survive.
Not trying to stir any shit up -- just my point of view.