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Vov, call up your nigga C-Hanz
if that flodgin ass nigga starts up one more rap battle he cant end...
I'm Chris Hansen, and when I read this statement, I swear my Steve Miller Band album skipped. Vov, are you fucking serious? I'm a 49 year old white male from Lansing fucking Michigan. I'm stooping to your level with this rap battle shit, what the fuck do I know about rap other than the fact that I forbid my children from listening to it? However, in the spirit of healthy competition, I'll give it another go.
Oh shit, he's back, takin' more seats than congress
Hidden cameras in the playpen, while seeds gettin' undress
C-Hanz be the one straight Shining like Kubrick
Vov forcing kids to be jucin' his carrot stick.
?What's up Doc? like he Scatman Corthers
bangin' his own kid, keep it all in the family, like Sally Struthers.
Chris Handsome Blow-Up, like Antonioni
Vov livin' in a fantasy, modern day Captain Moroni.
I'm Chris Hansen.
Bitch, i hope this rap phase of your's will pass
Vov stick all 12.26 inches into your 49 years of ass
ask wifey where Vurnquist choose to hide his stash
if it aint organic meat, C-Hanz, then wifey just might fast
Chris, im president elect of this penis that is erect
each and every Brazilian pube your wife choose to inspect
dont call me Spielberg, but anal traffic I do direct
if it aint Vov in that colon, then C-Handsome, it aint correct
Im Vovert V.
Bad for your health like HIV
your see the smoke signals, you know shes smothering my tee-pee
runnin wild in your city like them niggas done gave the key
Vov Vurnquist for moderator, my nigga i do decree.
Oh for fucks sake. I'm Chris Hansen.
When Hanz put bic to paper, he like W.B. Yeats
The second coming, on your wifeys face, to lessen the birth rate.
Vov be that greasy teen, face got more oil than Kuwait.
Bitch, I use that grease, roastin' your weenie at the tail gate.
I be the warden, bend you over, lil Hanz, all up in your prostate.
Droppin' his rhymes like organic soap in the shower
I be rainin' down bullets, oh shit, it's Whitman from the clock tower.
Spray down your corpse with my egg white, like you drinkin whiskey sour.
With Hanz on the tube, Dateline NBC, it's TVs finest hour
Bust in your crib, snatch the children away, and interrupt your golden shower
Draftin' kiddies from the minors like they was Kevin Garnette
Chris the pusher that makes your whole system nervous, like Barbituate
Vov aint ashamed to admit he likes 'em small and sketch, like a vignette
Fuck with Chris? That's the worst bet, full chamber, Russian Roulette
HIV?, pssh Chris got more immunity than Richard Hatch
Servin' your nuts on some Mcenroe shit, game, set, match.
Hanz life.