and i want to try buttsex at least once. but she goes all butters on me " what what in the butt?"
You gotta take control man. Buttsex is not up for debate or discussion. If that's what you want, you need to let her know that you're the captain of that goddamn ship. Like a surprise party of sorts.
Arlene and I went over this once, and once was all it took. while making love on the fence, I got a little courageous and just went for it. She was shocked, as if she had forgotten she had an asshole. She leaped up to get her bearings, and her eyes gleamed with dismay, but after a few minutes she was super into it, and after those rapids, the river was back to it's serene state.
Go for it, playboy. I'm rootin' for you.