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I had a pretty powerful emotional reaction a couple months back after skating a DIY in a neighboring city with a larger skate scene than ours and saw the community there. There was no event going on, it was a pretty cold day even, and the place was bumping typically with all of these teenagers and young adults, many of whom appeared to be lgbtq and maybe 30 percent nonwhite. It was so colorful and cool to me that I didn't even skate that much, just looked around and thought about it - the skate scene I had when I was a kid and how it shaped me and how I might have been a vastly different person if I had that sort of atmosphere. So much less cynical, jaded, depressed.. I'm a really straight-passing masc dude and it made me think about how that likely is because I had to act that way through all my interactions in and out of skating in my formative years. I'm sure that scene isn't perfect, I know it isn't, assholes and drama and shit but I was just so struck by how truly valuable fostering a better, more accepting, more loving scene is. Growing up was really painful for me but it doesn't have to be so much for other people
Don't think I have related to a post on SLAP more than I have related to this one. I had this exact same reaction when I went to Rockridge for the first time. This brings up something I read a week ago that put this feeling into words:
"Queer people don't grow up as ourselves, we grow up playing a version of ourselves that sacrifices authenticity to minimize humiliation & prejudice. The massive task of our adult lives is to unpick which parts of ourselves are truly us & which parts we've created to protect us."
that reminds of something I heard on a podcast where the speaker was noting that every time he meets someone new it’s a choice whether to come out again
This to me is just adding weight to the silly theory that queer folk are “different” to everyone else.
And i just dont understand peoples feeling when interacting with others that what they enjoy emotionally or sexually is something that needs to be shared in social situations or at all ever. And sure the reply to that is, you dont understand. But im not completely straight at all. I rarely share this with people because, why would i need too. Ive interacted with people and im close friends with folks that im not entirely sure where they fall in their likes and interests. But at the same time, its entirely unimportant. I dont care. And if they felt it necessary to share what they like it would be weird to me purely because, its just an odd thing to feel you need share for some reason.
I just approach the world like i approach any interaction with someone. Who i like in the privacy of my own world isnt their business and people are almost totally unlikely to ask my sexuality because they probably dont really care or want to know or be akward enough to ask even if their morally opposed to it.
You arent different. You dont need to share it. If you dont need to share it, theres no reason to feel shame for it.
And theres an equally blunt approach by theamazingathiest who someone attempted to embarrass for enjoying sadomasochism and they posted some webcam footage of him online thats now been viewed by thousands.
His response was, why would i be embarrassed or care what you think, id rather they didnt share it with the world because its a dick move but... Its what i enjoy, its what i like doing, you wanna laugh at me for it go for gold, but i still think its the best and i like it.. Some people like playing tennis, laughing at them would be pointless, because theyd be like, uhh yeah… i really like tennis whats your dumb point.
YOU control how YOU feel. Someone only makes you feel bad yourself if you let them.
Too long didnt read right.
Where as I take your meaning, I can’t say that I’ve ever felt persecuted for my “likes/interests” because being into skating at my age, while potentially embarrassing, is not something that a powerful voting block views as antithetical to their outdated beliefs.
Now: imagine yourself out at the spot, and there’s a bunch of kids who, for whatever reason, are throwing around terms like “don’t be fag, land it,” and “that tre flip looked hell of gay” to each other. Did these kids ask you about your orientation first? How does hearing that make you feel? How might it make a fellow skater of the LGBTQ+ persuasion feel? It’s not like leaving the topic out of discussion makes the issue go away, and it’s not as if being queer is a like/interest that one
chooses either. Don’t queer skaters deserve to shred w/o having to worry about about their mental/physical safety?
By opening the subject up for broader discussion, it becomes possible to
open people’s minds as well.
Maybe those same kids at the session realize that they might have a friend is struggling with their sexuality & offer encouragement, and support, rather than casual epithets, and derogatory terms. Maybe somebody, even just ONE somebody’s life is improved.
Talking about queerness isn’t the problem, it’s NOT TALKING ABOUT IT that creates the problems.
Just this old dude’s take.
Shalom to all the LGBTQ+ PALS on here. Happy Pride month!
EDIT: this same logic ought to be applied to female skaters & our behavior, as well. We really DO need these discussions.