People that face inwards in the elevator instead of the door.
People that make a comment other than "what floor?" while in the elevator.
Motherfucker this is not social time. Do not fucking look at me and do not speak to me. I have a six pack of beer, you don't need to say someone's about to have a good night you fuck
i know this isn't the sketchy story thread, but i can't help myself--all of the talk about pee (above), elevators, and six packs in this thread inevitably made me think about this time when i was in grad school at the University of Chicago.
it was a Friday early evening, and i had been working in the Regenstein Library all day, and walked north home to the building i lived in, on Kenwood between 52nd and Hyde Park Blvd. i already had to take a piss pretty bad by the time i stopped at the liquor store next to Hyde Park Market (on 53rd) to buy a six pack of some fine IPA, and probably should have just went home first and took a leak, but after long days on campus, there was that irresistible impulse to get home, free the feet, and relax. so, by the time i was walking into my building i was on the verge of pissing myself--dancing, clinching, cussing, etc. it was a pretty old building, and the elevators were slow and i lived on like the 7th or 8th floor (i don't remember which exactly anymore), and i could not hold it anymore, so the elevator door closed and i started going up and i quickly took my six-pack out of the plastic bag and fucking pissed in the bag praying to whatever divine force may have been listening that A) nobody would need to get on the elevator to go up and B) that i'd be done and packed up by the time the elevator door opened to my floor. it was basically a building full of grad students and i could totally have imagined having the cops called on me if the door opened on me peeing into a plastic liquor store bag.
but there is a happy ending--nobody stopped the elevator to get on, i did finish in time before getting to my floor, i did not pass anyone in the hallway on my floor as i walked to my apartment with my six-pack in one hand and a plastic bag full of piss in the other, and those kind people at the liquor store double-bagged my six-pack so i did not spill a drop and just dumped it into the toilet once home.