Completely forgot to post the results from my craigslist mission I posted a while ago. Anyway here it is, in it's entirety. I know some of you hated these long stories when I was posting them a few years ago, so this goes out to the people with a little patience. I call this one 'Casual Encounters'
After sending out a load of emails in reply to craigslist ads in the ?Casual Encounters: W4M? I got a few responses back. These replies mainly told me to go to another website to get the supposed ad poster?s details and enter my credit card details ('But don't worry! They've never charged me - it's just for security :p'). Undeterred, I kept going and eventually had a handful of leads, of which some turned out to be fishy. For example one 'girl' I was speaking to briefly dropped into conversation that she would have a sub eat the cream pie after I fucked her. 'Am I alright with this?? I didn't need to think about that long though because she said before I could meet 'her' I would have to meet him and 'feed him my cum'. I know sperm is full of nutrients, but I?m not running some sort of sperm kitchen for the needy.
In the end I settled on a girl who was the same age as me (19) and only lived a few miles away. Her original ad was something a long the lines of 'cute girl seeks white male for NSA fun, must be 420 friendly'. After a few emails I had her number and we had arranged to meet in a week. However, a few days later I was skating this park in the evening and she happened to be in the area (we were already texting), so I met her on a bench.
Let me paint a picture for you - she was about 5'5 (I'm 6'2), brown wavy hair, nose ring, big fur coat and a face that looked like it did look good at one time, before she drank ten pints of Stella and got hit in the face with a frying pan. A solid 5.5 out of 10. For the sake of the story we'll call her Lucy. Definitely the least attractive out of all the girls I?ve ever put it in, but fuck it - I'd come this far and there was no way I was backing out now. I came to get a job done, and that's what I'd do.
As it turns out, she didn't want to fuck that night, she just happened to be nearby because she was out taking a break from doing artwork by smoking a zoot. Tomorrow was the final day of her three day art exam, at the end of which she had to turn in all her work for the year, so she just wanted to meet briefly before she went home to get more work done. The time was about nine and she showed me a timetable on her phone that started at 9:30 and went all the way to 3:30 am of work she had to get done.
Anyway, we smoked a zoot and then suddenly she wanted to learn to skate. We went into the now dark skate park and I held onto her as she rolled down the little flat bank. She was holding on tight to me so her face was right below mine, if this was any other situation I'd be thinking 'I can definitely fuck this chick', but that was already a given - so instead I was thinking 'I can definitely fuck this chick tonight and get this over and done with'. We sit down on the grind box and she goes to roll another zoot but realises she has no baccy left, so she invites me back to hers to get some quickly.
We walk a mile back to her house just chatting shit about what were up to in life etc, avoiding the issue of the sex, which was weird since that what was what we were mainly speaking about online. It was funny. Anyway we get into her house and I walk into the kitchen and start talking to her mum about the TV show she is watching about hoarders. Her mum is much hotter than her (9 out of 10) and is very bohemian. I forget about the chick I came with and get caught up trying to subtly flirt with her mum (her dad is in the other room), before Lucy tells me to come back outside and her mum tells me 'to give her daughter a chance to shine tomorrow in her exam' in a thick maldovian accent.
We go back outside into this little cove made by some massive tree stump and smoke another zoot under the stars. I'm weighing up the option of beating her there and getting my clothes all dirty as we smoke yet another zoot. I look over at her, and she looks like a little chipmunk, her eyes have gone all squinty and as she's grinning, her cheeks look like hamsters when they stash food in them. I'm thinking how funny the whole situation is when she get's a text saying her mums gone to bed, so we go back inside to her kitchen.
She rolls another zoot (420 friendly, remember?) and puts on some trance music. At this point I?m really high and she makes me some banana nesquick milkshake, which tastes like heaven. I'm zoning out hard for which seems like an hour as we keep smoking, at one point I thought I was going to whitey, so I pretended to be really focused on Matishayu - Jerusalem (which she was playing on youtube) so I didn't have to acknowledge her existence and throw up on myself. Would I still be able to fuck her if I whiteyed in her kitchen? Would that make the story even better? Before I could find out, we went upstairs to watch Family Guy.
So there Lucy and I are, spooning on her sofa high as fuck watching peter get called a big fat phony. It's probably about 11.30, 2 hours after she was meant to start doing her vital artwork. We're doing the classic flirty 'gently playing with each others hands' game, but I've got a short attention span so I start trying to crack her knuckles, which she hates. I whisper for her to 'relax' as I do it anyway. That?s as rapey as this story gets, luckily for me, this 5.5 stunner was gagging for for a pork weiner.
I lead her next door in to her brother?s room (how the fuck am I meant to know the layout of her house?), and we settle in for dinner. The way she was chomping at my face, you'd think she hadn't eaten in weeks. She was pressing her face into mine and I could feel my teeth grind against hers. I?m already pretty disgusted with myself, so I try to get things moving faster. As I go to stick a finger inside of her, she pushes me away, telling me she hasn?t shaved. My appetite is fading by the second, but I liken myself to a journalist in a war zone and get back to work, telling her it?s cool.
Very soon I find myself doing a bit of the old in and out, but my mind is wandering onto more important things (?Is kebab elite still open? Did I leave my skate tool at the park? Should I be wearing a condom??). To get myself back onto track I pull my dick out from banging her doggy style and stick a finger up her ass. Just like that. She doesn?t seem to mind ? so I stick another one up. I?ve never done it before and half expected to feel the end of tomorrow?s turd, but it was surprisingly clean.
She?s backing in to my fingers and suddenly my excitement is back, I?ve never fucked a girl in the ass before and this was feeling to be my lucky night. Like a gleeful young boy, I pull my fingers out, and whistling a tune, get in position to replace them with the real thing. Suddenly, I hear ?What the fuck are you doing?? from down by the pillows, ?Getting ready to fuck you in the ass..?? I replied. Nope. She then told me she just thought I was ?exploring? and she didn?t like anal. Why was she backing into my fingers? Was I imagining it? Is that what explorers do?
I felt done with the whole affair, but needed to bust a nut before I left so I let her suck me off. Big mistake. For some reason she seemed to think switching between ?soft, sloppy and slow? and ?teeth grinding bat out of hell? would somehow be pleasurable for me. Every time I got comfortable (and tried to positively reinforce the behavior by saying canned porn lines like ?yeah just like that) she would flip it and I?d have to physically restrain her head from gnawing my poor bell end off.
In the end I had to wank myself off (how very sad) whilst feeling her tits and imagining them as something more arousing (a water balloon, for example). I finally managed to make myself cum and collapsed with pure relief. Instantly she got to work licking the cum off me and I lay there contemplating what I?d done. You know that feeling when you?re watching porn and as soon as you cum you look at the screen and think ?What the fuck am I watching??. Yeah it was like that, but real.
With that spermy finish, my first craigslist encounter had come to an end. I got dressed and prepared to skate home in the middle of the night, but not before I made sure to remind her that she hadn?t done any of her work for her exam. In one evening I ruined this poor girls art A Level and stuck two fingers up her ass. Not bad.
As a little follow up story, she messaged me a while ago asking if I wanted to come over for a sleepover. I hadn't wanked all day so I instinctively replied 'Tonight?' and she said that was cool, but suddenly my brain kicked in and I knocked one out real quick (word of advice - before you make any decision about sex/relationships crank one out so you can think clearly). As soon as I was done I sent her another message saying 'On second thoughts I can't be bothered to go out tonight, sorry', thus saving my poor poor bellend from more torture.
If anyones interested I can keep writing, had a funny car head experience the other day and will be fucking the girl over the next few days.
Topic: Awkward Sexual Experiences (Read 463415 times)