I've spoken on here a ton about mental health care and services because it's been so helpful in my life. I'm on a cocktail of medication that I don't usually tell people in real life that aren't very close because I know what they will think, and in a way I understand, but most will roll their eyes because its like the typical trifecta that comes to mind when people think of the typical medicated person taking a bunch of shit they don't need.
ADD, Anxiety, and Depression. I have dealt with those 3 for about 20 years and started trying to dial in medication about 8 years ago, and didn't hit the right combo until a year ago. I don't know what it's called but I have this mental thing where whenever I'm not ok, I never know how bad I am, I always think it could be worse and ignore the problem. A year ago I stopped doing that, I decided to just tell my dr I wanted to treat all three and didn't hesitate to tell him when I wanted to try another medication or add one.
The depression and anxiety are not even a question for me, that's something anyone who knows me wouldn't doubt, but I was afraid to talk about ADD. We all know adderall can make you a crazy focused worker even if you don't need it so I hated thinking of asking about it again and looking like a drug seeker. The truth is, when I got on it for a bit a long time ago it got me out of partying and into learning and valuing education. But I got off it after my dad made me feel like a druggie even though it was his projecting his own drug problems.
I take mirtazapine for my depression, got on it after a bad breakup when I was being stalked and not only did it help me cope but it was the first antidepressant out of many, that I had tried that clearly and convincingly worked. I like it because it has less side effects, helps me sleep and helps me eat. Getting off it can be difficult, but I know from prior experience how to get off it when I decide the time is right. It's actually an older antidepressant that is much different than most modern ones, and it just happened to be the first one that I responded to, also no shitty sexual side effects.
For anxiety I'm on klonopin. I guess some people consider it strong but it actually isnt. I take .5mg daily. It lasts longer than an ativan or a xanax, but I also don't feel like I've taken a drug. I just feel normal. Ativan and xanax make me feel drunk and are more for quick action against a panic attack.
I used to take the immediate release blue adderall, but that shit is too harsh. You come up instant and crash pretty hard, and you get used to it fast. So I asked about extended release. Like the klonopin, I always thought that it was a stronger version so I didn't ask about it before, I didn't realize that it lasting much longer meant that the come up and come down were much mellower, and that the same amount being spread throughout the day would be much more tolerable. My older sister has hardcore adhd/add probably from parental drug use with her step father and my mother. I started developing add at the end of elementary school. I cant even explain how hard the simplest things feel to accomplish for me unless I'm 100% interested, but even those will quickly get thrown to the side.
I got on that combo a year ago this week, and although 2020 was one of the worst years ever AND the most stressful, I somehow managed to have one of the best years of my life in terms of taking care of myself and making significant changes to my life. I got the motivation to look for a new job and found one that I truly look forward to every single day. Haven't called out sick once and in the last 15 years I've always called in sick within the first month. I started eating better, I started getting serious about being active, I got into new hobbies and just did well.
This year was still really scary. My sister had a kid, a bunch of my extended family got sick and one person died, the news scared the shit out of me, but I kept it together and somehow managed to thrive in a time like this. That's why I love to talk about mental health with anyone and everyone. It shouldn't be taboo. I can't believe how long I stayed in a job that literally made it hard for me to see anything good in life. It was so scary to make the change, I was really happy when I did, but I was also bummed that I didn't know how easy it actually is to do, and it made me wonder how much further I could be if I changed jobs earlier. But who the hell knows, I could have gotten my dream job 10 years ago and a bunch of bad shit could have happened.
Also guys, everyone says it, but exercise, get out as much as possible. I LOVE computers. I love to play games, build them, mess with software and stuff, my girlfriend and I play every night. But my new job forcing me to be out really slapped me in the face with the truth about being active. It's another one of those things I wrote off as just some bullshit that people say who don't actually have stress in their life but its not a lie that it's a first line treatment for depression.
Hang in there boys, find the beauty in everything, and give yourself credit for even the smallest things.
Topic: Mental Health Issues (Read 39756 times)