My dad took me hunting for wild boar when i was 13, trying to make a man out of me. Sat in the forest in the dark forever, listening out for them. Not a sound. The sun comes up, still waiting silently at the base of this fucking tree, no talking allowed. Finally a sound. Its my guts squirming, I had to take a shit. I walk a hundred yards or so off deeper into the fauna. There is a downed tree, perfect for poppin a squat on. The thickest stickiest turd falls out after a few gutteral pushes, dropping a couple feet to the forest floor with a plop. Its the dead of winter, there seems to be nothing but shriveled brittle brown or orange leaves for me to try to regain my anus' dignity. Had to resort to breaking off a stick from the dead tree and credit carding my pre pubescent ass with it. It had a few gnarly knots and kinks. Awful sensation but better than a leaf of poison ivy or oak. I was wearing the chris cole van halen fallens. The entire time i was shitting i was paranoid a boar was gonna gore me in the asshole. I've never told this story but I'm glad its relevant now and hope you all enjoy.
Ps, never even fucking saw a goddamn animal besides a squirrel in that forest, hunting is a rip off. Fuck geoff rowley you damn ex vegan