Just got the time to read what you’re going through
@Uncle Flea .
You seem like a genuine nice guy that’s been going through a lot of shit. Just wanted to say I feel you.
I can’t even imagine what’s going to be like when my dog passes away. She is so stubborn but she made me re-evaluate a lot of things we humans do.
The most important thing is she doesn’t know what’s gonna be next you know, that taught me to always seize the day, but on a level humans couldn’t.
I dunno about your living situation but my suggestion is to live with even just one nice and close pal for at least a while. Someone that can keep you up without judging you.
Also might be worth try and get counseling.
Sorry if it seems like I’m telling you what to do, also sorry if you already did the above (I’m not/I wasn’t on here that much).
Just an honest suggestion from a rando that could make your life a little bit better.
All the best dude.