Today I listened to...

[Freight Train]

Yeah he skated to 'I Want A Lot Now (So Come On)' in Subject to Change

[Pho King Hung Lo Mein]

[AlbertoBalsalm]

[silhouette]

[1xz5h]

[jimstolz]

Mannequin Pussy - Patience
First three songs on Schoolboy Q - Habits and Contradictions
Talking Heads - Stop Making Sense
Thee Oh Sees - Carrion Crawler/The Dream
Fugazi - The Argument
Pulp - Different Class

[Pho King Hung Lo Mein]

Not knowing the first thing about this band (and obviously NOT looking very closely at the 3 WOMEN on the cover), but being very familiar with the song in many different versions, this one threw me. 

The thumbnail had me half-expecting (or wanting) a deep, baritone vocal along the lines of She Past Away, or maybe some wacky hybrid, like dude from the Cramps. 

When the guitar dropped, I was like, oh shit, they're going there, cue "Richie Valens".

But when the vocal dropped?  Whoa Boy!  The ladies in this clip do a much better job of illustrating my reaction, than my words ever could:

[AssFlea]

[WastedHippy]

[Freight Train]

Expand Quote

[close]

Not knowing the first thing about this band (and obviously NOT looking very closely at the 3 WOMEN on the cover), but being very familiar with the song in many different versions, this one threw me. 

The thumbnail had me half-expecting (or wanting) a deep, baritone vocal along the lines of She Past Away, or maybe some wacky hybrid, like dude from the Cramps. 

When the guitar dropped, I was like, oh shit, they're going there, cue "Richie Valens".

But when the vocal dropped?  Whoa Boy!  The ladies in this clip do a much better job of illustrating my reaction, than my words ever could:

Dead Moon was two men and a woman. Drummer Andrew Loomis, Singer/Guitarist Fred Cole (RIP) and his wife Toody on bass. They have a lot of great songs. This one was in the Zero No Cash Value Vol. 3 Montage, which now appears to have been scrubbed from the internet, sadly. '40 Miles of Bad Road' made the hair on the back of my neck stand up.



Jamie T also skated to 'A Fix on You' for his part in the closer of Cold War.



GREAT band.

[Pho King Hung Lo Mein]

Oh, damn the post that prompted this narrative seems to have disappeared, so to give it some context, picture, being stuck in a car, mid-rejection by a bitch, with feelings still "ambiguous", then THIS pops up on her playlist.



Feelings were ambiguous, huh?  Okay, well this song would have cleared things RIGHT the fuck up.  Shit would have gone Emo to 100, REAL quick for this listener.

 I've never jumped out of a moving vehicle, but the only thing moving faster than my ass outta that shit heap would have been the cloud of "mustard gas" spewing from its speakers.  Fuck waiting til' we stop.

Accidental exposure to this song usually isn't fatal, as long as its muted within a few seconds, but what you have survived here, being held captive, immobalized and forced to breathe it in for an extended period sounds like a stroll through Dante's Inferno.

I'm having visions of the old war movies.  You're strapped to the passenger seat, blindfolded with a cig in your mouth, sweating bullets, while she babbles on about her feelings.  Charlie's got your balls hooked up to a set of jumper cables, about to flip the switch, decides it's not quite sadistic enough, hits the play button on the CIA grade torture device.

What sounds like the elevator music you would hear upon making your final decent into the Pits of Hades, begins to fill the airwaves, your eyes bulge, and your ears begin to bleed.  Engulfed in toxic sound waves, that would have killed a lesser man.  Yet, there you stand. JOHN. FUCKING. RAMBO!!!

 I'm still trying to cleanse my conscious of the 5 seconds that I endured of that song, and you've heard it more than once?  FUCK.  I cant imagine the torture you've been through, buddy.  I almost slit my wrists just hearing the story.

You're out here like a POW with PTSD.

Post
Traumatic
Shittyfemalevocalistbutchersaclassicsobaditnearlykilledme
Disorder

The fact you made it out of that fucking Hanoi Hilton on wheels is a testament to your strength and perseverance and for that, I salute you, Sir!

I, for one, would have swallowed the cyanide.

[Pho King Hung Lo Mein]

Expand Quote

Expand Quote

[close]

Not knowing the first thing about this band (and obviously NOT looking very closely at the 3 WOMEN on the cover), but being very familiar with the song in many different versions, this one threw me. 

The thumbnail had me half-expecting (or wanting) a deep, baritone vocal along the lines of She Past Away, or maybe some wacky hybrid, like dude from the Cramps. 

When the guitar dropped, I was like, oh shit, they're going there, cue "Richie Valens".

But when the vocal dropped?  Whoa Boy!  The ladies in this clip do a much better job of illustrating my reaction, than my words ever could:

[close]

Dead Moon was two men and a woman. Drummer Andrew Loomis, Singer/Guitarist Fred Cole (RIP) and his wife Toody on bass. They have a lot of great songs. This one was in the Zero No Cash Value Vol. 3 Montage, which now appears to have been scrubbed from the internet, sadly. '40 Miles of Bad Road' made the hair on the back of my neck stand up.



Jamie T also skated to 'A Fix on You' for his part in the closer of Cold War.



GREAT band.

Yeah, I'm sure they're fine.  I clearly know less than nothing about them.  But I do maintain that that particular song strikes me as the soundtrack to a fate worse than death.

Those stories you hear about sadistic prison guards torturing inmates by blasting loud music into their cells, well it's THIS song they're blasting.  I'm certain of it.

[smellsdead]

[jimstolz]

Oh, damn the post that prompted this narrative seems to have disappeared, so to give it some context, picture, being stuck in a car, mid-rejection by a bitch, with feelings still "ambiguous", then THIS pops up on her playlist.



Feelings were ambiguous, huh?  Okay, well this song would have cleared things RIGHT the fuck up.  Shit would have gone Emo to 100, REAL quick for this listener.

 I've never jumped out of a moving vehicle, but the only thing moving faster than my ass outta that shit heap would have been the cloud of "mustard gas" spewing from its speakers.  Fuck waiting til' we stop.

Accidental exposure to this song usually isn't fatal, as long as its muted within a few seconds, but what you have survived here, being held captive, immobalized and forced to breathe it in for an extended period sounds like a stroll through Dante's Inferno.

I'm having visions of the old war movies.  You're strapped to the passenger seat, blindfolded with a cig in your mouth, sweating bullets, while she babbles on about her feelings.  Charlie's got your balls hooked up to a set of jumper cables, about to flip the switch, decides it's not quite sadistic enough, hits the play button on the CIA grade torture device.

What sounds like the elevator music you would hear upon making your final decent into the Pits of Hades, begins to fill the airwaves, your eyes bulge, and your ears begin to bleed.  Engulfed in toxic sound waves, that would have killed a lesser man.  Yet, there you stand. JOHN. FUCKING. RAMBO!!!

 I'm still trying to cleanse my conscious of the 5 seconds that I endured of that song, and you've heard it more than once?  FUCK.  I cant imagine the torture you've been through, buddy.  I almost slit my wrists just hearing the story.

You're out here like a POW with PTSD.

Post
Traumatic
Shittyfemalevocalistbutchersaclassicsobaditnearlykilledme
Disorder

The fact you made it out of that fucking Hanoi Hilton on wheels is a testament to your strength and perseverance and for that, I salute you, Sir!

I, for one, would have swallowed the cyanide.

much feelings about the fact that this guy is way less kooked than I am.  My injustice boner covered in the grool of the lord I shake my fist at thee

[silvertone_spacemachine]

didn't Duffel skate to Dead Moon as well?

[Freight Train]

didn't Duffel skate to Dead Moon as well?

Yep he skated to 'Dead Moon Night' in Cataclysmic Abyss.

[Pho King Hung Lo Mein]

Expand Quote

Oh, damn the post that prompted this narrative seems to have disappeared, so to give it some context, picture, being stuck in a car, mid-rejection by a bitch, with feelings still "ambiguous", then THIS pops up on her playlist.



Feelings were ambiguous, huh?  Okay, well this song would have cleared things RIGHT the fuck up.  Shit would have gone Emo to 100, REAL quick for this listener.

 I've never jumped out of a moving vehicle, but the only thing moving faster than my ass outta that shit heap would have been the cloud of "mustard gas" spewing from its speakers.  Fuck waiting til' we stop.

Accidental exposure to this song usually isn't fatal, as long as its muted within a few seconds, but what you have survived here, being held captive, immobalized and forced to breathe it in for an extended period sounds like a stroll through Dante's Inferno.

I'm having visions of the old war movies.  You're strapped to the passenger seat, blindfolded with a cig in your mouth, sweating bullets, while she babbles on about her feelings.  Charlie's got your balls hooked up to a set of jumper cables, about to flip the switch, decides it's not quite sadistic enough, hits the play button on the CIA grade torture device.

What sounds like the elevator music you would hear upon making your final decent into the Pits of Hades, begins to fill the airwaves, your eyes bulge, and your ears begin to bleed.  Engulfed in toxic sound waves, that would have killed a lesser man.  Yet, there you stand. JOHN. FUCKING. RAMBO!!!

 I'm still trying to cleanse my conscious of the 5 seconds that I endured of that song, and you've heard it more than once?  FUCK.  I cant imagine the torture you've been through, buddy.  I almost slit my wrists just hearing the story.

You're out here like a POW with PTSD.

Post
Traumatic
Shittyfemalevocalistbutchersaclassicsobaditnearlykilledme
Disorder

The fact you made it out of that fucking Hanoi Hilton on wheels is a testament to your strength and perseverance and for that, I salute you, Sir!

I, for one, would have swallowed the cyanide.

[close]

much feelings about the fact that this guy is way less kooked than I am.  My injustice boner covered in the grool of the lord I shake my fist at thee

Wow Jimbo, busting out the big guns are we?  Isn't that special?  Anybody else's radar rhyming with GAY (NOT that there's anything wrong with that),  spiking in detection of his desperation to gain your acceptance and validation? "How come nobody gnars me?  Why am I a bigger kook than Pho", as if destroying someone else's work would improve his own "shitposting", by some "osmosis".   Imagine being this dense.

See, there's clueless, then there's "Jim Stolz", military grade clueless. 

My only question Jimmy baby, sweety, is how did your parents react when you came out?  Or have you?   I would ask your mom directly, but her mouth is pretty "busy" at the moment.  When she comes up for air, I'll ask.

You see boys, along the road to success, you will encounter bitter, envious people, threatened by your glow, spewing their hatred, trying to "steal your thunder".  But it's not until you attract the hatred of someone with REAL clout, that you'll know that you've truly "made it".

Now, does anyone on the planet scream raw fucking clout louder than Jim Stolz?  Jim Fucking Stolz, man!  You all may look at Lil' Jimmy and see a complete bozo.  A Putz.  A bumbling buffoon, dancing around like a circus monkey, seeking your praise and "treats". 

You may humor him with a chuckle, pat the little mush bucket, perched atop his scrawny little, pencil shaped neck.  Paying him little, if any, mind, but to shoo him away.

I, on the other hand, am amazed by this man.  His ability to unite people should be revered by all.

 For the first time since joining SLAP, I find myself agreeing with the general consensus on something.

Hate to break you the news Sport. The village has spoken.

*cue Maury Povich sample:

 You ARE a kook.  And apparently a closet homosexual with a promiscuous mother possessing a stunning gulp.

Listen Sailor,  I like my boxers starched and creased. Please dont fuck it up this time.

[jimstolz]

[jimstolz]

I freely admitted to plowing some dude in that other thread, bro. I am openly bisexual.

I'm fully aware that I am a kook. The rambling about kooks and gnars thing is a schtick but not really because I'm obviously desperate for attention. All the stuff about my mom? Lol she'd be a little more interesting if she was promiscuous. She's a dork.

As for starching your boxers? Tryhards aren't my type, mang. Put a little less effort into your goofy ass posts and you may huff my pp for a handsome price.

[jimstolz]

[AssFlea]

Great cover song

[Pho King Hung Lo Mein]

I freely admitted to plowing some dude in that other thread, bro.  I am openly bisexual.

Okay, let's slow it down a little here, Pony Boy.  I didn't give enough of fuck to take note of anything you've ever written, but thanks for sharing.

Now, answer my question.  How did they react when you came out?  Or have you?

I'm fully aware that I am a kook. 

Good, so you've identified the problem, step 2 is washing it off, kid (Zellinsky auto parts inflectlion).

 The rambling about kooks and gnars thing is a schtick but not really because I'm obviously desperate for attention.


Here we go, baby.  Common ground.  I completely agree!

All the stuff about my mom? Lol she'd be a little more interesting if she was promiscuous. She's a dork.


Ahhhhhh ignorance is bliss, huh Sport?   She may be a dork, Stolzy, but she's Daddy's Dork and I find her VERY interesting.  I'm sure she thinks you're a perfect gentleman and dork too.

 How shattered would she be?  Or you, to learn the filthy,  smutty, truth?

I guess, I let the "cat out of the bag" (in more ways than one) about Mommy Dearest,  but dont make it awkward you ever see me around the house.  Just keep the boxers starched and pressed (and dont be sniffing em either, you creepy little fuck).  And don't you worry Champ, nobody is gonna "blow the whistle" on ya (HEY, eyes up here, it's a figure of speech), your secret is in "the vault".

As for starching your boxers? Tryhards aren't my type, mang. Put a little less effort into your goofy ass posts and you may huff my pp for a handsome price.

Okay, I'll circle back to the criminal aspect of a male prostitute openly propositioning people in a public forum, which by the way, MUST have some type of rule prohibiting such overt acts of criminality, lest SLAP be reduced to some "back page" in the weekly free rag.  But man, your delusions of grandeur are on full display here, sweet prince.

A couple more observations:

Its NOT that you wouldn't necessarily wash, starch, and press my boxers, it's that I'm not your type, or else you would?  Got It.

Try hard?  Oh, how cute, the little Buckin' Bronco thinks this is a challenge for me?  No, no, sweety.  See, I am really just a big "pussy cat" and you're my little "ball of yarn", there Stolzy Boi.
 

[jimstolz]

shut the fuck up you goofy nerd

[silhouette]

Deleted Post And The Damage Done - Unknown Artist

[jimstolz]

[jimstolz]

Expand Quote

I freely admitted to plowing some dude in that other thread, bro.  I am openly bisexual.

Okay, let's slow it down a little here, Pony Boy.  I didn't give enough of fuck to take note of anything you've ever written, but thanks for sharing.

Now, answer my question.  How did they react when you came out?  Or have you?

I'm fully aware that I am a kook. 

Good, so you've identified the problem, step 2 is washing it off, kid (Zellinsky auto parts inflectlion).

 The rambling about kooks and gnars thing is a schtick but not really because I'm obviously desperate for attention.


Here we go, baby.  Common ground.  I completely agree!

All the stuff about my mom? Lol she'd be a little more interesting if she was promiscuous. She's a dork.


Ahhhhhh ignorance is bliss, huh Sport?   She may be a dork, Stolzy, but she's Daddy's Dork and I find her VERY interesting.  I'm sure she thinks you're a perfect gentleman and dork too.

 How shattered would she be?  Or you, to learn the filthy,  smutty, truth?

I guess, I let the "cat out of the bag" (in more ways than one) about Mommy Dearest,  but dont make it awkward you ever see me around the house.  Just keep the boxers starched and pressed (and dont be sniffing em either, you creepy little fuck).  And don't you worry Champ, nobody is gonna "blow the whistle" on ya (HEY, eyes up here, it's a figure of speech), your secret is in "the vault".

As for starching your boxers? Tryhards aren't my type, mang. Put a little less effort into your goofy ass posts and you may huff my pp for a handsome price.

[close]

Okay, I'll circle back to the criminal aspect of a male prostitute openly propositioning people in a public forum, which by the way, MUST have some type of rule prohibiting such overt acts of criminality, lest SLAP be reduced to some "back page" in the weekly free rag.  But man, your delusions of grandeur are on full display here, sweet prince.

A couple more observations:

Its NOT that you wouldn't necessarily wash, starch, and press my boxers, it's that I'm not your type, or else you would?  Got It.

Try hard?  Oh, how cute, the little Buckin' Bronco thinks this is a challenge for me?  No, no, sweety.  See, I am really just a big "pussy cat" and you're my little "ball of yarn", there Stolzy Boi.

This is you btw. A dude in a helmet doing front board yo-yo tricks in a skatepark on Ben Nordberg's instagram. That may do it for some people but ya ain't my cup of tea, you weird fucking spaz.

[JB]

Weird darkwave synthy stuff. Sounds exactly like what you'd expect something with that album art to sound.

[childhood]

Crazy that Suciu part actually came out and new Chromatics finally leaked the same week

[silvertone_spacemachine]

Weird darkwave synthy stuff. Sounds exactly like what you'd expect something with that album art to sound.

loving this

[Rick_Kane]

One of my favorite albums. Just picked up the vinyl reissue. Sounds amazing. Constellation never disappoints