Dumb things you thought about skateboarding when you were a kid

[manysnakes]

That pro skaters didn't use drugs or alcohol as performance enhancers

Unrelated to skating, but I was talking to a friend who doesn't skate but is super huge on lifting. He believes that all these mega-jacked 40-50 year olds in Marvel movies are just achieving their gains my "chicken and rice", and that Tom Brady doesn't have the world's most effective prescription for HGH. I was incredulous, because this guy follows professional cycling.

[djoekr]

That pro skaters didn't use drugs or alcohol as performance enhancers

I once believed Dustin Dollin when he said that he's never drunk when getting clips.

[CAPTAIN NOBODY]

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I thought it'd make me cool...nope!

[close]

Hey man, it did make you cool! You’re the coolest motherfucker on slap. We all know that. Eventually there will be an appreciation thread just about you imburntyerburntwhocares. We love you!

[Steely Daniel]

At the shop I worked at, Marc Johnson seemed genuinely honored to have received a shop tee from our boss, and said he loved the simple design so much he was going to wear it in Yeah Right. The owner was ecstatic and Marc kept bro-ing down, eventually talking him into signing off on this MASSIVE Matix purchase. Thousands of ugly-ass matix shirts in like peach and lime-green came in. 2 weeks later we were having these 50% off, BOGO sales out of these giant Matix bins we had to construct just to hold all the shirts. The owner was pretty embarrassed because that one sale fucked him up so bad he almost lost the shop. MJ of course never wore the shirt in anything.

Holy shit that is brutal. I just saw a Matix sweater in Walmart the other day.

[TelethonJohn]

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I had a lemon yellow pair of Fuct jeans that I thought were cool.

[close]

Depending on when you’re talkin’ about, your lemon yellow FUCT jeans actually were really cool.
92-93 and prior, you was hot shnitz, baby.
Hold high your regal head.
Elsewise, you prolly looked like a goof.

[close]

Appreciate you giving me an out, and I can only be grateful that no photographic documentation (to my knowledge) exists. This would have been 1992. They cracked the $50 mark at Surf Berkeley, which was an outrageous amount to pay for a pair of pants that make you look like you dumpster dived behind the clown shop.

[close]

Hah!!! Surf Berkeley was my shop too.
I loved Dub & Tun; those dudes were super solid & always treated me right. Prolly cause I spent every spare cent I had in their shop.
Disclaimer: I may be trying to protect my own self esteem with that previous statement, but I too was buying/wearing Fuct pants from Surf Berkeley at that time, & I felt like a miniature Natas in those things, so I'm pretty sure we were actually looking fresh as all get out for the time period.  Would have been Limpies all day, every day for me just prior to that (again, because Natas) but they may have been done by 92/93, so Fuct it was. And Ghetto Wear!   
You may continue to judge yourself harshly, but in my minds eye, you were looking fly.

I started working there in 1994, and there were still Skate Rags and Limpies pants on the rack. I think they were eventually just driven up to Peoples Park and left in the clothing bin.

Dub, Suzanne, and Tuan are some of the most gracious, kind, and inspirational people I've ever worked for. RIP Dub and Suzanne.

[Aquatic Dinosaur]

Rode late 90s/early 00s boards backwards because I thought the big kick was the tail like an 80s board

I rode them backwards intentionally because I thought it gave me more pop

[PapaSquat]

I thought there were springs in the bushings when I was a kid. I couldn't understand ollies.

[bigmike]

I thought feebles were to the left and smiths were to the right, unrelated to stance. I was regular and learned back feebles first. Was playing skate with an older, goofy footed skater and quickly realized my mistake when he yelled out “yo guess what Mike just said!” to all the older dudes at the park

[Couch2KF]

I thought inward kickflips were a thing and just real hard, I thought hardflips were something else I didn't feel like learning about.

[Allen.]

That most people who skateboard are worth spending time skating with

[c-dock]

One of my first videos had an "Ams" montage section, so for a brief period I thought anyone without a full part was am

[Scott Case]

That I had to stop watching and enjoying stuff I used to like NFL on Sunday mornings. Got a little older and remedied the situation with a jersey one year and going possibly most definitely overboard on scheduled day drinking.

[PancakeBones]

Making the tail as high off the ground as possible with 3 riser pads on the back truck...... It's not how high you can jump to jump high , it's how high you can jump because your tail is so high.

And put on 30mm wheels so I could also have the lower center of gravity "stability" of Rodney mullen....... WITH the highest tail to cancel that out

Thank God I still pushed mongo back then..... Would have looked weird if I didn't

[PancakeBones]

Said "G-off Rollie"
It simply did not occur that Geoff could ever sound like Jeff

[blue]

i would ask my local shop when they were going to have abec 10 bearings because i believed that meant they would be the "fastest" i also would frankenstein trucks together because i thought that make 360 flips easier. and i definitely did the stacking riser pad shit in hopes of popping higher. I basically got really into gear thinking it would make me better

[Billy Bitchcakes]

I basically got really into gear thinking it would make me better

Funny how kids think this and then it comes back around when they hit 40

[mooraga]

Raiser pads were called antivibrators by the older dudes; so my 10 years old ass though for years you had to use them in order to absorb the shock 

[Frank]

if i put kitchen sponges under the tongues of my shoes they will fit better and i will learn nollie hardflips.

colored/painted trucks grind better.

titan trucks are the best trucks and make you grind longer and pop your tricks higher(never had a pair).

a trick that can't be done with sagged pants isn't worth learning.

osiris shoes are actually pretty cool and the storm is the best video.

5-0 is the best grind because i feel gangster saying it, because it's american slang for police, which makes me feel very cool and sophisticated for the fact that i know this.

(a few years later)
blunt slides are the best slide, the name is so cool, uhuhuhuh. because weeeeeeeeeeed.

[Ricky Vaughn]

I thought skaters were tough and got laid. Way off

[TheLowerBack]

I thought Grind Kings and Gullwings were the trucks to have.

Same. My big brother's friend and local mini ramp champ swore by Gullwing, so for my first couple years so did I. He hasn't skated in close to 20 years and is a racist Trumper. Really glad I gave up Gullwings.

[tuesday]

Pros land everything first try. Like they do in videos.

[TheLowerBack]

A meth smoking convicted sex offender who worked the register at the shop I went to in 2001 told me he filmed Steve Olson kickflip 5050 shove it out the Hollywood 16 and I believed him

I like that he used the 9th grade tech god trick in his claim.

[adam22savage]

Said "G-off Rollie"
It simply did not occur that Geoff could ever sound like Jeff

we all said Ge-off Rollie. the Jeff isn't even the crazy part, it's the Role-y. Mike Vuh-lay-lee is another one. no it's Val-uh-lee, i'm a warrior poet.

[Loady McGee]

I thought the words bail and slam were the same thing, that both meant slamming. It wasn't until I was well into my 20's I had an "aha! moment" and made the connection between what the actual word bail meant and the skateboarding term bail.
I'm blaming this on me not being a native english speaker.

[toe_knee]

i did not recognize switch mongo while watching skateboard videos as a young kid .. i just thought that was how that particular skater always pushed and didn’t connect the dots until someone told me it was one of the cardinal sins of skateboarding

that’s the day i turned my wheel graphics in and started pushing like a man

Swongo for life! If Kalis and Stevie say it’s cool I’m widdit

[JANUS]

When I was little and learning nose slides on a curb, I popped over top of the curb and kind of slid on my wheels for a bit, and I proudly told my friends I did a nose bluntslide (it was not). Then I showed them. Then they made fun of me. And I deserved it.

[TheLowerBack]

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i did not recognize switch mongo while watching skateboard videos as a young kid .. i just thought that was how that particular skater always pushed and didn’t connect the dots until someone told me it was one of the cardinal sins of skateboarding

that’s the day i turned my wheel graphics in and started pushing like a man

[close]

Swongo for life! If Kalis and Stevie say it’s cool I’m widdit

For the longest time I thought Danny Supa was a subpar piss pusher. Only later realizing that he was actually boss level.

[planman]

I used to think Venture trucks were Girl trucks because the first time I saw them was on a Girl board and I had zero concept of what skateboarding actually was, let alone companies.

Anyways the first and only time I rode ventures was on my first setup and now I don't use them because I like to turn.

[Billy Bitchcakes]

I thought the words bail and slam were the same thing, that both meant slamming. It wasn't until I was well into my 20's I had an "aha! moment" and made the connection between what the actual word bail meant and the skateboarding term bail.
I'm blaming this on me not being a native english speaker.

Weren't the slam compilations in the old THPS games called Bails? I think that's where it came from, we all called them bails as kids. Except for my one friend who called them crashes.

[Mean salto]

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I thought the words bail and slam were the same thing, that both meant slamming. It wasn't until I was well into my 20's I had an "aha! moment" and made the connection between what the actual word bail meant and the skateboarding term bail.
I'm blaming this on me not being a native english speaker.

[close]

Weren't the slam compilations in the old THPS games called Bails? I think that's where it came from, we all called them bails as kids. Except for my one friend who called them crashes.

Slams are bails but not all bails are slams