Ok Cupid

[brycickle]

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Never in my life have I see the phrase "average body type" thrown around so loosely.

[close]

in a nutshell.
ok, i signed up to a site a few weeks or a month or so ago, after years of hesitation, i gave it a real shot.

I've met a few girls but one in particular was amazing.

her and I were sopposed to meet one night last week, or the week before, I already wasnt feeling it becasue she was constantly texting me, telling me about how important she was, just being annoying in general. we made plans, and then she broke the plans, I was pretty much over it and just started to ignore her constant open eded "what cha doin?" texts
all the sudden i am getting these texts from her asking if I am important to her? if I am ever going to make time for her? if my friends are more important to me than her?  then she called me "champ" and attempted to guilt/pressure me into makignplans with her this week, no reply. 
basically it explains why she is 29 hot and single

So have you guys set a date for the wedding yet?

[Random Matt]

OKCupid sounds terrifying.

She sent that to me at like 8AM too...first thing I had to look at in the morning.

[Carrolls Chesthairs]

My one friend introduced the idea to me after elaborating  on all of his successful one night stands and meet ups. My friends and I proceeded to made accounts. I don't have any juicy stories but I find these amusing.

The second one down is a message I got when traveling in NY. I decided to send a local broadcast while waiting for a friend to finish class and I got that. I never met up with them  or responded but they messaged me again later that night asking where I was and if I wanted to meet up.

I have seen soo many people from my highschool and college on there. The most I've gotten is a number but nothing evolved from it. I deleted my account recently but it is a good way to waste time and potentially get laid by a mediocre girl/meet somebody.

[Tufty]

Girls that dont have friends are very usual dude. Girls are weird. Sometimes i wish i was gay.

[tag_king]

A friend of mine was really into it. I got it for a night to fuck around with. We got my pretty cute female room mate to open an account, which we ran. We got some older fellow to text pictures in exchange for pics from her (us). Nothing gross, but my friend took a picture of his mangina. The guy thought it was muff and texted back the next day to which my friend messaged him back saying it was her father and to stop texting his little girl. I like to think that the dude is spanking it to a tucked back dick to this day.

[cutehungsk8twink]

Girls that dont have friends are very usual dude. Girls are weird. Sometimes i wish i was gay.

Ugh, don't we all.

[paraquat]

I've been on two dates.  The first one smelled like wet cigarettes and was not as good looking as advertised.  I described the restaurant I'd be taking her to as a Japanese/Mexican fusion place and she said how she loved fusion restaurants.  We agreed to meet there and she showed up 45 minutes late and she didn't know a single thing about Japanese food and made ordering a real hassle.  I was pissed because I just wanted to eat and leave because I had made up my mind the second I saw her.  I ended up ordering for her and eating half her food and I just drank a bunch of beer to pass the time.  We said bye to each other in the parking lot and she started to lean in for a kiss.  I just said bye and felt kind of bad, but you have to be a little ruthless on first dates I think.  I gave up after that and then I tried the site again later that year.  I started talking to a girl with a blurred out picture because her profile was nice.  She said her picture was blurred because she was stalked due to the site.  I messaged her enough times and then asked her for a picture already.  She had an instagram account just for this purpose and after I saw her picture I never messaged her again.  That stalker must have been desperate.  I also revisted a profile of a Jewish girl I had been messaging and almost met up with when I first joined and she now had a boyfriend and was looking for girls who wanted to have threesomes with them.  I feel like I blew it letting that one get away.  It took me about 3 weeks to get a date with a good looking girl and I'm actually dating her now.  We have sex a lot and she makes me breakfast and gives me shit for drinking and eating trash food, which is the good kind of nagging.  So I have to admit it worked.  If you aren't getting laid enough, I'd say just try it.  It's pretty entertaining anyway...as long as you don't get depressed when girls don't message you back.  You have to be kind of active and message a lot of people for good results. 

I would of bailed based on this^^^

[Omamori]

I was close to fucking a girl I met on Okcupid but she ended up getting me a job.

[Joust Ostrich]

when you said fat, I was thinking Mid West fat, not Nor Cal Fat. +1

Also, no mercy in Catan.  Free dinner or not.

[Goblinshark]

Exhibit A:Booty


Exhibit B: AHHHH WTF?!?!

She sent that to me at like 8AM too...first thing I had to look at in the morning.

HAHAHAHA you almost fucked starfalls? There was a time I would have/could have hit that, but after a couple days of chatting/fetlife browsing I decided against it. If you have a fetlife account, her profile on there is pretty intense. https://fetlife.com/users/584932/pictures

[jgonzalez]

Tip

After three messages ask to hang out. It's worked for me. If she's talking to you she's into you/interested.

[wallieD]

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Exhibit A:Booty


Exhibit B: AHHHH WTF?!?!

She sent that to me at like 8AM too...first thing I had to look at in the morning.

[close]

HAHAHAHA you almost fucked starfalls? There was a time I would have/could have hit that, but after a couple days of chatting/fetlife browsing I decided against it. If you have a fetlife account, her profile on there is pretty intense. https://fetlife.com/users/584932/pictures

holy cow. i signed up there to see what's going on in my area and wow...i would be at the free clinic the next day if i hooked up with her. she's a freakkkkk. also i only saw one person in my area i recognized. this really nerdy guy a few years older than me, it was pretty funny to read this knowing of him
one of my fantasies is to have a girl restrain me then masturbate in front of me teasing me so I cannot taste or touch then everytime she is ready to cum sitting on my face making me swallow all her juice then switching and me using her as my own personal sex toy

[Fine Young Cannibal]

I guess it's my turn to share my tale.

A few years back I was smack dab in the middle of a sizable dry spell so I figured I'd give OKCupid a shot upon the recommendation of a close friend.  I started out by laying low, lurking, and waiting for girls to message me.  Rookie mistake.  I finally get a message from what appears to be a fairly attractive girl that lives 15 minutes away and we get to talking.  After a few days I decide to give her a shot.  I picked her up at the mall one Saturday night and was immediately shocked and appalled.  Little did I know, this girl was working the angles better than a Geometry teacher.  I was anticipating a little chub but this girl was a large Marge. About 5'7" and pushing 200 pounds.  I was upset and initially wanted to drive away, but I figured it was too late and I could at least try to get one of those infamous fat girl blowjobs out of this shitty deal.  We make chit-chat as I drive back to her neighborhood.  I ask if we can go back to her place and she says "definitely not.  I don't even have my own room."  Fuck.  I drive to a closed off beach so I can smoke some weed with her and take my mind off of how shitty this meet-up is going.  We take a few bowl hits when another car pulls into the lot. Cops.  FUUUUUUUCK.  Luckily for me, I have the tact and diplomacy of an Ambassador to a foreign country, so before the cop can even say a word or get out of the car I roll down my window and ask if we shouldn't be there. He turns out to be really cool and tells us that we have to go somewhere else. Nice.  After that we just ended up parking on the side of her house, finishing the bowl, and started making out.  I had her titties out (they were decent fat girl tits, I'll give her that much) and went to unzip my pants.  I whipped it out, but she refused citing that she didn't feel comfortable being so close to her house.  She told me she was supposed to go to a party about 30 minutes away and that if I went with her she'd take me into the bathroom and do it there.  Lord knows I wasn't trying to be seen out in public with her, so I said I had to call it an early night and that we'd hang out again another time.  On the way back home I got a bunch of texts from her about how I'm "such a sweetheart" and how she couldn't wait to hang out again.  I immediately deleted her number and didn't look back.  The next morning I wake up to a message with the pictures below attached.  After that I focused my account and lamented the errors of my ways.  So long, fatty.

[sultsult]

should hit it dude

[chockfullofthat]

Hahaha, this thread is going better than expected.

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she said how she loved fusion restaurants.? 

[close]

I would of bailed based on this^^^

Why is that a red flag? 

[Merked]

I guess it's my turn to share my tale.

A few years back I was smack dab in the middle of a sizable dry spell so I figured I'd give OKCupid a shot upon the recommendation of a close friend.  I started out by laying low, lurking, and waiting for girls to message me.  Rookie mistake.  I finally get a message from what appears to be a fairly attractive girl that lives 15 minutes away and we get to talking.  After a few days I decide to give her a shot.  I picked her up at the mall one Saturday night and was immediately shocked and appalled.  Little did I know, this girl was working the angles better than a Geometry teacher.  I was anticipating a little chub but this girl was a large Marge. About 5'7" and pushing 200 pounds.  I was upset and initially wanted to drive away, but I figured it was too late and I could at least try to get one of those infamous fat girl blowjobs out of this shitty deal.  We make chit-chat as I drive back to her neighborhood.  I ask if we can go back to her place and she says "definitely not.  I don't even have my own room."  Fuck.  I drive to a closed off beach so I can smoke some weed with her and take my mind off of how shitty this meet-up is going.  We take a few bowl hits when another car pulls into the lot. Cops.  FUUUUUUUCK.  Luckily for me, I have the tact and diplomacy of an Ambassador to a foreign country, so before the cop can even say a word or get out of the car I roll down my window and ask if we shouldn't be there. He turns out to be really cool and tells us that we have to go somewhere else. Nice.  After that we just ended up parking on the side of her house, finishing the bowl, and started making out.  I had her titties out (they were decent fat girl tits, I'll give her that much) and went to unzip my pants.  I whipped it out, but she refused citing that she didn't feel comfortable being so close to her house.  She told me she was supposed to go to a party about 30 minutes away and that if I went with her she'd take me into the bathroom and do it there.  Lord knows I wasn't trying to be seen out in public with her, so I said I had to call it an early night and that we'd hang out again another time.  On the way back home I got a bunch of texts from her about how I'm "such a sweetheart" and how she couldn't wait to hang out again.  I immediately deleted her number and didn't look back.  The next morning I wake up to a message with the pictures below attached.  After that I focused my account and lamented the errors of my ways.  So long, fatty.

Fucking loled.  I have had this before as well.  Made out with a fattie at a bar for alil.  She was one of those dece faced, nice assets chunky wunky, but I was straight hammered, so I could be wrong.  She forced my number out of me and after that proceeded to text me every half hour for the next four days.  Shit was so weird and unattractive. 

[Beeda Weeda]

everyone knows a face shot alone means shes fat, but everyone always seems to forget.

[ice nine]

u guys who just stop answering girls/ break off contact when u find out they're fat are lame as fuck. be honest or don't fuck with them

[UgolinoTheSignificant]

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Exhibit A:Booty


Exhibit B: AHHHH WTF?!?!

She sent that to me at like 8AM too...first thing I had to look at in the morning.

[close]

HAHAHAHA you almost fucked starfalls? There was a time I would have/could have hit that, but after a couple days of chatting/fetlife browsing I decided against it. If you have a fetlife account, her profile on there is pretty intense. https://fetlife.com/users/584932/pictures

[close]

holy cow. i signed up there to see what's going on in my area and wow...i would be at the free clinic the next day if i hooked up with her. she's a freakkkkk. also i only saw one person in my area i recognized. this really nerdy guy a few years older than me, it was pretty funny to read this knowing of him
one of my fantasies is to have a girl restrain me then masturbate in front of me teasing me so I cannot taste or touch then everytime she is ready to cum sitting on my face making me swallow all her juice then switching and me using her as my own personal sex toy

this sounds oddly appealing to me

[augustmoon]

I guess it's my turn to share my tale.

A few years back I was smack dab in the middle of a sizable dry spell so I figured I'd give OKCupid a shot upon the recommendation of a close friend.  I started out by laying low, lurking, and waiting for girls to message me.  Rookie mistake.  I finally get a message from what appears to be a fairly attractive girl that lives 15 minutes away and we get to talking.  After a few days I decide to give her a shot.  I picked her up at the mall one Saturday night and was immediately shocked and appalled.  Little did I know, this girl was working the angles better than a Geometry teacher.  I was anticipating a little chub but this girl was a large Marge. About 5'7" and pushing 200 pounds.  I was upset and initially wanted to drive away, but I figured it was too late and I could at least try to get one of those infamous fat girl blowjobs out of this shitty deal.  We make chit-chat as I drive back to her neighborhood.  I ask if we can go back to her place and she says "definitely not.  I don't even have my own room."  Fuck.  I drive to a closed off beach so I can smoke some weed with her and take my mind off of how shitty this meet-up is going.  We take a few bowl hits when another car pulls into the lot. Cops.  FUUUUUUUCK.  Luckily for me, I have the tact and diplomacy of an Ambassador to a foreign country, so before the cop can even say a word or get out of the car I roll down my window and ask if we shouldn't be there. He turns out to be really cool and tells us that we have to go somewhere else. Nice.  After that we just ended up parking on the side of her house, finishing the bowl, and started making out.  I had her titties out (they were decent fat girl tits, I'll give her that much) and went to unzip my pants.  I whipped it out, but she refused citing that she didn't feel comfortable being so close to her house.  She told me she was supposed to go to a party about 30 minutes away and that if I went with her she'd take me into the bathroom and do it there.  Lord knows I wasn't trying to be seen out in public with her, so I said I had to call it an early night and that we'd hang out again another time.  On the way back home I got a bunch of texts from her about how I'm "such a sweetheart" and how she couldn't wait to hang out again.  I immediately deleted her number and didn't look back.  The next morning I wake up to a message with the pictures below attached.  After that I focused my account and lamented the errors of my ways.  So long, fatty.

[wallieD]

u guys who just stop answering girls/ break off contact when u find out they're fat are lame as fuck. be honest or don't fuck with them

they are knowingly setting themselves up for that when they take misleading photos..how does that make them any better? how do you nicely tell a girl she's too fat for you? i'm just curious how you would handle it. i've never been in this situation

[chockfullofthat]

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u guys who just stop answering girls/ break off contact when u find out they're fat are lame as fuck. be honest or don't fuck with them

[close]

they are knowingly setting themselves up for that when they take misleading photos got fat..how does that make them any better? how do you nicely tell a girl she's too fat for you? i'm just curious how you would handle it. i've never been in this situation

fixed.

[ice nine]

tell them ur shallow and care about looks or something, I just hate when people don't answer shit because they're afraid of telling the truth.the unknown causes more stress then the known. didn't mean to derail this, sorry. hope u desperate dudes get satisfied

[McDuff]

id tell them im not attracted to girls who weigh more than me, which i am... thats not shallow is it?

[wallieD]

tell them ur shallow and care about looks or something, I just hate when people don't answer shit because they're afraid of telling the truth.the unknown causes more stress then the known. didn't mean to derail this, sorry. hope u desperate dudes get satisfied

it's not really shallow...could i be friends with a fat girl? yes but i'm not physically attracted to that. although i think they are wrong for tricking people i'm a nice guy and wouldn't say "i'm not attracted to you because you're fat". it's true but too harsh..maybe a couple of them would appreciate the honesty, but i think it would hurt most of them. it's not like they aren't aware of their weight being a problem since they're hiding it in the photos. i doubt i would completely ignore them either. i would probably just lie and say i was getting back together with a serious girlfriend or something like that. white lies make the world go round son

[L33Tg33k]

I thought I was going to enjoy this, but this thread is bumming me out for a lot reasons. That's not to say that I won't still lurk in here.

[Yushin Okami]

Some of these stories are awesome. I'm about to start an account and see how fast I can go from first message to sleeping with. Probably buy the domain www.myokcupidmission.com and blog about, since I assume that would only increase my chances with girls on OKCupid.

[pizzafliptofakie]

The only time I've ever flat out ignored a girl is when she messaged me multiple times every day for months, showed up at my house while I was at work and begged my other housemate to talk me into dating her, and stalked other people to get my number when she got a new phone and I wouldn't give it to her. I've met her once.


That tidbit has nothing to do with OkCupid and is only relevant to the post about blowing off girls. I just wanted to post so that I can continue to read stories when they're posted.

[ROCKxADIO420]

The only time I've ever flat out ignored a girl is when she messaged me multiple times every day for months, showed up at my house while I was at work and begged my other housemate to talk me into dating her, and stalked other people to get my number when she got a new phone and I wouldn't give it to her.

probably would have been resolved sooner had you not been ignoring her?

[paraquat]

Hahaha, this thread is going better than expected.

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she said how she loved fusion restaurants.?�

[close]

I would of bailed based on this^^^

[close]

Why is that a red flag?�

It stems from my hate of self-proclaimed foodies. Sorry, should've kept that to myself.