disclaimer: This is a burner account. If that's a problem, I'm sorry, I will delete this, I just didn't want to use my main account.
I'm curious if anyone has felt a change in themselves toward evil? What caused someone like Charles Manson, or Rasputin, or David Koresh to become who they were? To use Hitler as an example, he was a racist, that's clearly where his hatred stemmed from, I'm not interested in examples like this. But these people who over time began to understand certain things about how to get what they wanted. Is it caused by a pre-existing mental condition? A moment that broke them? A slow burn towards evil? A conscious decision they made?
I've been let down by so many people so many times. Beginning with my father. My parents weren't divorced like many others, so I didn't come from a "broken home", but my father is/was not a good person. His life was driven primarily by his greed. I truly believe that money and his perceived financial success by others (particularly by his own father) were his priorities in life. Perhaps, in a way he could be considered an evil person. Now, in his old age, he's donating his time and money and whatnot to non-profit causes, but I see it as a front for him to be seen as a good person by other people.
As time went on I was let down by relationships and friendships, as well as jobs. I know that I'm probably just a naive fool who deserves all of these betrayals and disappointments just because I'm so gullible, but I keep hoping that the next person or situation will be different and keep trying to move forward.
However, recently, that's not true anymore. I've become less and less hopeful. I'm on the edge of deciding to become evil. I don't intend to harm anyone, but I am intending to lie and cheat and manipulate people to get what I want. I don't care about anyone else.
I wonder if this is a normal path that some people just take in life.
What would the world be without villains?
If I realize that I'm intending to be a villain, does that mean I'm not? Maybe true villains think they are doing something good and it's their oblivious drive toward their goals that make them who they are?
I really don't know why I felt like posting here... just the anonymity I suppose and the respect for the opinions and insights of many slappers.