Real talk though I enjoy a fancy lotion baby wipe to clean my butt. Yall can fuck with toilet paper if I could afford a bidet I would but since I can't baby wipes make it easier.
Home
That's gotta leave you a bit saucy though, right? Fuck all that. Can't do the sauce ass. Matter of fact, it's 1 pre-shower dump with a full wipe ( 2-6 units @ 3 -4 wraps around the left hand, transfer to right hand, index finger tucked safely under a couple layers, pop up on left ass-cheek, wipe until it runs clean, dismount, take 1 standing swipe for good measure). Followed by a nice scrub with a washcloth in the shower. I may even take 1 more swipe in the downstairs bathroom, before heading out the door, especially in the summer when it's humid. I'll go out of my way to avoid shitting at work or in public if I possibly can (drives my wife nuts). Always been that, probably always will.
Jail
I once saw a dude get straight punked (made him take all his clothes. off) and beat up over his wiping technique. It was pretty fucked up. I didn't see the wipe in question, but the gangbanger (these were both my cellies), got pissed that dude was "digging in his ass" (why he even noticed this is beyond me) and ran with the whole "faggot" narrative and just punked the dude out until he rolled up.
For me, it's Set up 2-4 units of TP first. Bedsheet lined between sink and door (covering window and blocking Cellie view). The substitute if this is not an option, is just cover your legs with a towel or sheet. Shirt off, pants pulled completely off of 1 leg, other leg pulled up. Shoes on, laced up, and ready. Start flushing just BEFORE the first turd is launched and keep flushing until the first wave is over. If there is a second wave coming, but it may take awhile to coax, go ahead and take a wipe now, to reduce smell AND be better prepped for an attack. Shit fast, wipe quick, and go. No long shits, and NO standers. Plenty of fools get rolled up for not knowing the "etiquette". Like brushing your teeth and spitting in the sink will most DEFINITELY get you chin checked in any county jail. Make sure you program with your race and only use the phones, showers, and toilets they use or you WILL get rolled THE FUCK up.