from ages 8 to 13 I went to a different public school every year because my mother was mad at my father over money. we moved to different cities, living near relatives, surviving off my dad's money and mom's part time job and sometimes sleeping on couches, or there would only be room for adults on the one bed so I would get the futon in the living room. the older i got the more i found out my mom liked to shop and use my dad's money for her and my older half brother, they both used to abuse me physically and emotionally. i resented my mother and brother for this, still do. my father is now elderly, still working, no savings or anything he really values or cherishes besides his 'favorite child' me. i also found out that my father had lied to business partners blaming me for why he had money problems or for missing inventory. i don't like either of my parents but i feel i don't have a choice as a man in his early 30s, as i dont know how much time left i will have with them. i've tried to kill myself but always chicken out. the only thing that has remotely helped me is being able to skate for the past 15 years. im tired of living the double life - one person that loves their parents and holds no grudges, and the other person that cant forget everything that has happened.