The things that get a hold of me and make me feel absolutely bummed that I hear albeit watching the news or just people watching.
You can see the division and or the fear of others just by people watching
I do have" friends" rather acquaintances I sometimes speak with and tbh it bums me out, the closeness I felt when I didn't have a job or responsibilities I can't find that unique one solid friend anymore.
Even when I do find someone with similar interests it's either scenarios I annoy them or vice versa or my bullshit upstairs in my head will tell me otherwise that someone is using me and you have seen this beforehand cut your losses, or the old yeah call me anytime and they ghost me like a bitch. either way it's been since 2003 since I had a decent friend to really count on as a homie, for now I won't hold my breathe for anything. call me an asshole whatever I just see it for what it is.
I hate the idea of ghosting someone as that is not how I operate, I'd rather tell you to your face to fuck off or we've got to go different ways. as a solid person I believe the same should be upheld but that's my own expectations that let me down.
I know this won't mean much to others but one of the reasons I like SLAP is maybe just maybe one day I could meet someone from here in my town and we could skate this area and build some shit.