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General Discussion => WHATEVER => Topic started by: CigaretteBeer on February 18, 2007, 08:40:06 PM
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Got any good stories?
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all my sex moments have been top notch
thanks
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yeah last night
these dumb bitches knocked down the bathroom door at this bar while I was railing this broad
played out
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sick blowjobs on the back of the schoolbus from the bus driver's daughter
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Not exactly a sex story, but I was making out with my ex once and i accidentally burped in her mouth hahahha.
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sick blowjobs on the back of the schoolbus from the bus driver's daughter
i don't really know how that is embarrassing, its more trashy and pretty awesome
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i was fucking this bitch and then i barfed all over her tits then i was abducted by aliens and they made my dick 5 inches longer
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what about getting a blowjob and letting a rotten veggie sulfur fart rip. that's fuckin rough. the lady has to get up and open the window and shit...
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I was munching some carpet once, and had to sneeze. I told myself that I could do one of those inside sneezes, ya know, where ya hold it in. I ended up munching a little to hard on the bean, bitched screamed and told me to stop.
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yeah last night
these dumb bitches knocked down the bathroom door at this bar while I was railing this broad
played out
I thought you were like thirteen.
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i fucked this girl that was so tight that after i busted my nut the jimmy got stuck in her pussy when i pulled out, it looked like a balloon knot hangin out. hahahhaha
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back at HATE!'s old apartment, i was drunk as fuck trying to put some chocolate syrup on my woman and the lid fell off the bottle and exploded syrup everywhere. it was a funny yet horrible mess to clean up.
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it was about 5 years ago...me and my girl at the time were going at it on a rickety old futon. I was hitting her from behind, and some how my dick slipped out and went completly up her ass. It happened so quick, I didn't even realize it. My chick made this horrible noise, jumped off the futon, and curled up in a ball crying. Then she ran and locked herself in the bathroom for about 4 hours and wouldn't talk to me. She was convinced I did it on purpose, and she was freaking out because she thought I had broken something in her ass. She finally calmed down and realized that it was nothing serious, but it did take several days before she finally believed that it was an accident. She still says that was the worst physical pain she has ever felt...
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i was fucking this bitch and then i barfed all over her tits then i was abducted by aliens and they made my dick 5 inches longer
:o
i need to find these aliens, then i will finally be average 8)
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i fucked this girl but my dicks so small that after i busted my nut the jimmy stuck in her pussy when i pulled out, it looked like a balloon knot hangin out. hahahhaha
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Please tell me both situations ended up in threesomes.
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I farted once while going down on a girl then I couldn't stop laughing about it because I was so embarassed. It was a beast of a fart too, not sure how that one slipped out undetected.
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Expand Quote
yeah last night
these dumb bitches knocked down the bathroom door at this bar while I was railing this broad
played out
I thought you were like thirteen.
its the way to go
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I Get Wet
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you're not a very good joke account
andrew w.k. is pretty cool though
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he's always in a good mood.
this fake account guy isn't.
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i fingered my girl really hard and had sex with her, while some guests were waiting for us in the kitchen. well, after we finished i went out and started to make some food for everybody ... somebody asked me: did you wash your hands?
well, i did not ... that was ugly as hell.
3 weeks ago i went with my flatmate maria to a photo labour to pick up some new pics from me ... i was really excited so we went through all pics together before even buying them. then i had this picture of my girl with my stiffydicky in her mouth that i totally forgot about. my flatmate was really cool "first i thought, why the hell are you taking pictures of your girl while she eats a sausage?". i was still ebarressed-
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getting poop on the dick. not so embarassing for me as it was her. queefs are always awesome because they embarass the fuck out of girls while i don't see the big deal and think they're pretty hilarious. only really embarassing thing for me was almost having my penis broken and... yeah.
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fuck yeah queefs are the funniest, everytime she busts one we always crack up.
most people would think this is embarassing, but my pops walked in on me twice in a row laying my lady out spread eagle on the floor, i never thought once to stop because we were both hella drunk. shit was funny.
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My first college girlfriend and I got some crazy ideas from watching Penthouse Kama Sutra (or was it Playboy?). Anyhow, we settle on trying this position called "The Box". It begins as the missionary position but the girl closes her legs up while the guys spreads his. It was supposed to increase clitoral stimulation and all that shit. Actually, that shit was working really good because she was totally getting off and soon I busted my nut too so I rolled off. That's when she noticed that the condom had gone MIA. We ended up in the emergency room to remove the rubber and she thought she was pregnant for almost 2 weeks (she had a phantom pregnancy until she knew for sure from a pregnancy test she wasn't; she had her period the next day).
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I was at a party. just about to make out with a girl I always had a little crush on, but was embarrased to date. We were sitting alone in the woods, and as I leaned in, a huge fart suckerpunched my asshole out of nowhere, she was horrified, I tried to blame it on her, she ran away. I went to sleep in my friends car till he wanted to leave.
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she was horrified, I tried to blame it on her, she ran away.
WTF, HAHAHAHA...
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Expand Quote
she was horrified, I tried to blame it on her, she ran away.
WTF, HAHAHAHA...
fucking epic if its real
if not, still fucking epic kev
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this punk rock hairdresser girl i was kind of playing around with, i drove her back to her house after a show or something. we went to 'park' in a parking lot at an isolated beach on vancouver's west side (she was a rich punk). it was raining pretty hard, and it was early fall, so i didnt think twice about the 'no visiting park after 10pm' signs. so we have the seats all the way back, both with our heads below window level, ive got my face between her legs, paying close attention because im fairly new to this... anyway, out of nowhere BRRRRRRRM CLLUNK CLUNK CLATTER, chain sounds, massive bright lights through the front window. its a big fucking diesel tow truck, starting to hook up to the front of my dad's car... jesus, roll down the window 'oh, hi there, we're okay...' 'you know the parks closed?' oh really, thanks...
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only really embarassing thing for me was almost having my penis broken and... yeah.
do tell
(i've had it happen to me)
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intercourse with a midget, stood up during, wound up severely injuring her insides...
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this punk rock hairdresser girl i was kind of playing around with, i drove her back to her house after a show or something. we went to 'park' in a parking lot at an isolated beach on vancouver's west side (she was a rich punk). it was raining pretty hard, and it was early fall, so i didnt think twice about the 'no visiting park after 10pm' signs. so we have the seats all the way back, both with our heads below window level, ive got my face between her legs, paying close attention because im fairly new to this... anyway, out of nowhere BRRRRRRRM CLLUNK CLUNK CLATTER, chain sounds, massive bright lights through the front window. its a big fucking diesel tow truck, starting to hook up to the front of my dad's car... jesus rolls down the window 'oh, hi there, we're okay...' 'you know the parks closed?' oh really, thanks...
i dont believe that part..
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hahah, i can only imagine, him standing there with his white piece of cloth and long hair..
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oh god i nearly split my sides laughing... thanks grammar police