No, skateboarding isn't norm breaking. skateboarding is a bunch of kids and adults that play with a wooden toy. we might think we are cool and "fucking the system", but we're not. let's not pretend that anyone of us have ever "fucked the system" because we skateboard...
the only thing I know, is that a safe space isn't on the internet. it's out there with your friends, and if you skateboard and you're not a kook, you'll get friends regardless of what you identify. is that a safe space? i have no clue.
women and queers are of course welcome to create their own "counter-culture" within skateboarding. there aren't actually any rules to skateboarding (except for all the rules), and it's actually understandable if you don't want to slam beers, skate around with no shirt, hug sweaty friends and yell weird noises at people when they land tricks. but if you're not a part of it, then you most likely won't get mainstream coverage, because that's what they cover. hell, there are people who still freestyle skateboard today and they sure as hell aren't getting in on the nike money, because they are not a part of.
but i'm probably too privileged to have an opinion on this.