Slap MessageBoards
General Discussion => Classic SLAP => Topic started by: gentle. on April 19, 2009, 11:52:27 PM
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start thread.
(http://4gifs.com/gallery/d/56464-1/Weegee_baby.jpg)
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<img src="http://i54.photobucket.com/albums/g117/timsanders/ProfessorQuack.jpg">
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I knew for sure that professor duck was gonna pop up in this bitch.
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(http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g257/c1rca23/jewstar.jpg?t=1240210864)
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(http://s3.amazonaws.com/images.nachofoto.com/b-hair-bird-argument-i-4286970b8d32.jpeg)
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I hope you know what you unleashed upon SLAP by making this thread. That being said I submit to you:
(http://img17.imageshack.us/img17/4711/10512281183.gif)
(http://img407.imageshack.us/img407/4553/2ev9kkh.gif)
(http://img206.imageshack.us/img206/4278/23t4cyf.gif)
(http://img4.imageshack.us/img4/567/image001akx0.jpg)
(http://img14.imageshack.us/img14/6764/1205150004013wy8.gif)
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(http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g257/c1rca23/jewstar.jpg?t=1240210864)
way too fucking awesome.
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(http://img4.imageshack.us/img4/2552/ybwcn3s4roge1atg7m35.gif)
(http://img14.imageshack.us/img14/176/meetablackperson.jpg)
(http://img4.imageshack.us/img4/6598/owned031.gif)
(http://img14.imageshack.us/img14/2047/67562142aaod16uguppersj.jpg)
(http://img4.imageshack.us/img4/5346/lolbottle4lu.gif)
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(http://img23.imageshack.us/img23/4681/pukehump.gif)
(http://img6.imageshack.us/img6/6776/wheel.gif)
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<a href="http://tinypic.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i41.tinypic.com/14ne1rr.jpg" border="0" alt="Image and video hosting by TinyPic"></a>
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(http://img11.imageshack.us/img11/3936/0004bcws4lw9zg.gif)
(http://img18.imageshack.us/img18/8294/ladypunch.gif)
(http://img11.imageshack.us/img11/3354/fuckthesystsem.jpg)
(http://img18.imageshack.us/img18/1152/dagold.jpg)
(http://img8.imageshack.us/img8/804/lobsteru.jpg)
(http://img11.imageshack.us/img11/9536/pussytastes.jpg)
(http://img19.imageshack.us/img19/9932/stupiditym.jpg)
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lets not spam here dudes
(http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/d/dc/Star_Wars_Force_Push_baby.gif)
(http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/b/b6/Nazijedi.gif)
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Newton, you're fuckin' killin this thread. Haha.
(http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g257/c1rca23/dogbitch.jpg?t=1240214539)
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that one of the old lady getting socked is awesome. Someone made a .gif of that for me, but I never used it. I should search for it.. I think the thread was called .gif request.
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haha i laughed at every single thing in this thread so far. :P
edit:
bastards fucked up my post
so ill post this instead
<img src="http://www.gifbin.com/bin/042009/1239960399_kick-in-a-bar.gif">
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(http://img14.imageshack.us/img14/2047/67562142aaod16uguppersj.jpg)
I would've straight up won this thread if it wasn't for this one.
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(http://i77.photobucket.com/albums/j52/biggwatt/ClassyJereme.jpg)
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(http://img11.imageshack.us/img11/3936/0004bcws4lw9zg.gif)
This wins the thread, I laughed so damn hard
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(http://photos-e.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v272/103/61/567716923/n567716923_1100964_7605.jpg)
(http://photos-g.ll.facebook.com/photos-ll-snc1/v2610/103/61/567716923/n567716923_2083542_1133094.jpg)
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at first i was >:( but then i ;D
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(http://i44.tinypic.com/23k3fgw.jpg)
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this thread is THE best. hands down.
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Expand Quote
(http://img11.imageshack.us/img11/3936/0004bcws4lw9zg.gif)
This wins the thread, I laughed so damn hard
Yea that one made my day. I was so tired and pissed off before I stumbled upon this thread.
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<a href="http://tinypic.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i41.tinypic.com/14ne1rr.jpg" border="0" alt="Image and video hosting by TinyPic"></a>
DAMN!!!
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wuts dat?
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(http://i58.photobucket.com/albums/g257/c1rca23/lazybitch.jpg?t=1240265692)
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(http://img21.imageshack.us/img21/8545/2rmphso.jpg)
(http://img404.imageshack.us/img404/6860/0bc43839b51412854919052.jpg)
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(http://img11.imageshack.us/img11/6892/2ap3xw.jpg)
(http://img397.imageshack.us/img397/808/2ce2nud.jpg)
(http://img8.imageshack.us/img8/622/2e6fuhz.jpg)
(http://img8.imageshack.us/img8/3176/800pxbucket.png)
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(http://img14.imageshack.us/img14/9087/222yam.png)
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SLAP -> if this page is becoming too annoying to load because of the file sizes of the gifs lemme know and I'll take some shit out.
This is a gif, it just goes through slow. Please be patient and enjoy ;)
(http://img15.imageshack.us/img15/4559/609459736fat20hoeshx4.gif)
(http://img24.imageshack.us/img24/5822/24962.gif)
(http://img13.imageshack.us/img13/4268/80514303.jpg)
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(http://img147.imageshack.us/img147/5248/balldog.jpg)
This pic shows up tiny, but if you zoom in it is worth it so here's the link:
http://img12.imageshack.us/img12/1527/canihavemyspiderbackot3d.gif[
(http://img12.imageshack.us/img12/1527/canihavemyspiderbackot3d.gif)
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(http://www.joe-ks.com/archives_mar2007/PolarBearParty.gif)
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(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v651/emerican_idol/milk.jpg?t=1240273309)
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v651/emerican_idol/scooterfall.jpg?t=1240273359)
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v651/emerican_idol/WhoBroughtTheCat.jpg?t=1240273361)
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v651/emerican_idol/bbqyes.jpg?t=1240273394)
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v651/emerican_idol/goattramp.jpg?t=1240273398)
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v651/emerican_idol/111003_rocknroll.jpg?t=1240273400)
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v651/emerican_idol/STOCKING.jpg?t=1240273404)
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(http://img8.imageshack.us/img8/622/2e6fuhz.jpg)
This one made me lose.
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(http://i77.photobucket.com/albums/j52/biggwatt/gd1.jpg)
(http://i77.photobucket.com/albums/j52/biggwatt/gd3.jpg)
(http://i77.photobucket.com/albums/j52/biggwatt/gd2.jpg)
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(http://pics.livejournal.com/lupychica/pic/00003e94)
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(http://alwaysreadthesmallprint.com/welcome/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/1_axeman_1.jpg)
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(http://img25.imageshack.us/img25/5129/cinderblockscraigslist.jpg)
(http://img10.imageshack.us/img10/5632/fail7.jpg)
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(http://img11.imageshack.us/img11/1329/followyourheartc.jpg)
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(http://img8.imageshack.us/img8/7830/iamhangry.jpg)
(http://img25.imageshack.us/img25/6773/ironp.jpg)
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(http://img9.imageshack.us/img9/2131/motelfail.jpg)
(http://img260.imageshack.us/img260/5471/myspacethiswhitewomens.jpg)
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(http://img6.imageshack.us/img6/2373/rusty.jpg)
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(http://img23.imageshack.us/img23/543/slapo.jpg)
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(http://img15.imageshack.us/img15/6463/whoismyfamily11515.jpg)
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HOLY SHIT!!!
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(http://img6.imageshack.us/img6/5936/scorpionfly.jpg)
This is pretty terrifying. It's possible that this image will haunt my dreams and/or future birthday celebrations.
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this is the ultimate thread...
i love it..
PS. i lost a bunch already
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Some old ones, but good ones.
(http://i239.photobucket.com/albums/ff47/poocrusher/KICKflip.gif?t=1240440461)
(http://i239.photobucket.com/albums/ff47/poocrusher/ouch.gif?t=1240470024)
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(http://img15.imageshack.us/img15/6463/whoismyfamily11515.jpg)
i dont get it? her aunt and uncle are fans of incest and have ugly kids as a result?
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toooooo good.....
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I'm a fat fuck but somehow i still get chicks?
(http://photos-b.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v125/55/94/524564096/n524564096_287569_7138.jpg)
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Expand Quote
I'm a fat fuck but somehow i still get chicks?
(http://photos-b.ak.facebook.com/photos-ak-sf2p/v125/55/94/524564096/n524564096_287569_7138.jpg)
i lost this game almost a year ago....
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doctor newton is killing it and i lost the game already.
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(http://photos-e.ll.facebook.com/photos-ll-sf2p/v203/210/80/758928508/n758928508_384316_5200.jpg)
(http://i261.photobucket.com/albums/ii41/greglyon0607/whoopsie.jpg)
(http://www.evilmilk.com/pictures/Womans_Work.jpg)
(http://img236.imageshack.us/img236/8154/1523mb8.jpg)
(http://www.codefromjames.com/wowhilarious/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/gtfo_bitch.jpg)
(http://i240.photobucket.com/albums/ff51/yourtasteofdeath/1207543669303ui0.gif)
(http://img.catchgamer.no/images/gallery/usergallery/107366/1234698651889.gif)
(http://i29.tinypic.com/keg7rc.jpg)
(http://jj.am/gallery/d/75263-2/Alligator_chases_dog.gif)
(http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b285/RedDonkeyPoo/Nursing_monkey-1.jpg)
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(http://i218.photobucket.com/albums/cc184/kayo45/1238180066144.jpg)
(http://img139.imageshack.us/img139/8677/thcangurokj5.gif)
(http://i466.photobucket.com/albums/rr25/flakedogs/shamwow.jpg)
(http://img517.imageshack.us/img517/5944/20070531230717ne7.jpg)
(http://img155.imageshack.us/img155/5599/20070311122657jh8.jpg)
(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/fail-owned-soap-fail1.jpg?w=470&h=373)
(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/fail-owned-wolverine-inflatable.jpg)
(http://i42.tinypic.com/t7d1r7.png)
(http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h134/misfit42/fl-yoda.jpg)
(http://a0.vox.com/6a00c225279cef604a00d41450c7603c7f-500pi)
(http://i29.tinypic.com/jpvsbc.gif)
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try not to laugh at THIS
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_cOSyBS5bg&feature=channel_page
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(http://punditkitchen.files.wordpress.com/2009/04/political-pictures-drugs-off1.jpg)
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i'm totally that dude hanging out in the commons area looking at his computer laughing by himself.
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(http://i26.photobucket.com/albums/c120/cactus543/CPNSR6W6SJEUF45ND6GHXLJXW6XUU44M.jpg)
(http://i33.photobucket.com/albums/d70/splat101/dreamsicle2ux6zq.jpg)
(http://img254.imageshack.us/img254/3561/consumerreporterku4.gif)
(http://www.funnypicturefunnyphoto.com/funny-picture-photo-sign-raccoon-CST-pic.jpg)
(http://img75.imageshack.us/img75/4824/dickktruckms5.jpg)
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v323/simon1801/allmyfavthings.jpg)
(http://i277.photobucket.com/albums/kk53/grandmasterayo/FUNNYFACE.jpg)
(http://i30.tinypic.com/212slfd.jpg)
(http://i29.tinypic.com/2r2vkag.jpg)
(http://i286.photobucket.com/albums/ll92/pantsmanvc/1214584676675.jpg)
(http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3096/2345089019_e90d468dc2_b.jpg)
(http://addj.net/uploads/images/funnyrandom/1287710654_0cf9d91e5b_o.jpg)
(http://i105.photobucket.com/albums/m221/dplancaster/image004.jpg)
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Enter Sandman with lolcats - http://imagechan.com/images/af20907621cbf76cee7547ec0d37e676.jpg
(http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h302/xeokys/Clipboard01-1.png)
(http://i35.tinypic.com/1q0d8g.jpg)
(http://img503.imageshack.us/img503/1462/11relay650lb7.jpg)
(http://img231.imageshack.us/img231/6200/80565358ng7.jpg)
(http://img231.imageshack.us/img231/1917/93719984sd9.jpg)
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http://www.wimp.com/lovablekitty/ (http://www.wimp.com/lovablekitty/)
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(http://i67.photobucket.com/albums/h302/xeokys/Clipboard01-1.png)
(http://i35.tinypic.com/1q0d8g.jpg)
(http://img503.imageshack.us/img503/1462/11relay650lb7.jpg)
(http://img231.imageshack.us/img231/6200/80565358ng7.jpg)
(http://img231.imageshack.us/img231/1917/93719984sd9.jpg)
what a fat faggot.
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http://www.wimp.com/lovablekitty/ (http://www.wimp.com/lovablekitty/)
That cat rules!
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i'm totally that dude hanging out in the commons area looking at his computer laughing by himself.
same here i just lost it while everyone had to be quiet and make excel spread sheets
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(http://img21.imageshack.us/img21/1857/15nov1damnthosehippos.jpg)
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(http://img19.imageshack.us/img19/9407/123717main.jpg)
(http://img19.imageshack.us/img19/6438/cockb.jpg)
(http://img19.imageshack.us/img19/9359/12135283585801.jpg)
(http://img149.imageshack.us/img149/8341/dunecat.jpg)
(http://img149.imageshack.us/img149/4751/segwayswat.jpg)
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a buddy sent me this
(http://evanparker.werd.net/images/motor/mystique/ddd.jpg)
(http://i27.tinypic.com/aczxo2.jpg)
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(http://img149.imageshack.us/img149/8341/dunecat.jpg)
this one is so good!
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Holy fuck. Dunecat and homeboy chillin on the coaster got me.
(http://thismight.be/offensive/uploads/2008/04/09/image/One%20talented%20Ho.jpg?)
(http://i34.tinypic.com/2m47eoj.jpg)
(http://i350.photobucket.com/albums/q406/ARTVANDELAY736/big.gif)
(http://i530.photobucket.com/albums/dd343/JaredLH/OhYeah.gif)
(http://kuvaton.com/kuvei/hamays.gif)
(http://img384.imageshack.us/img384/5473/lolowaths5.jpg)
Read this story, not mine but hilarious:
When I was 17 my girlfriend at the time was finally ready to have sex. I, as one might expect of a 17 year old, was excited. Neither hell nor high water was going to stand between me and my final destination.
I get ready for the night, trim everything up, shower extra well. Unfortunately there was also an issue. I have a digestional disorder that sometimes cause my shit to become large and quite solid while still inside me. I wasn't aware it was a treatable problem and, in fact, just thought everyone had to deal with the equivalent of anal kidney stones. I bring this up because I had a mighty one which had been loaded into the gun for several days.
Let me set the scene. Her parents are away. We have her house to ourselves. She was always a little kinky so she demands we do it in her parents bed.
I walk in to a candle holocaust. She's been working on this all day apparently, and its as bright as high noon in there with the lights off. Which is good, because she proceeds to do a sweet, sexy little dance for me. At 16, she was AMAZING. For those of you who never experienced a female at that age, I pity the fool.
Now I'm sitting on the bed, watching this dance. I smile and tell her how good she looks. Unfortunately, most of my attention is focused on the dull throbbing from my sphincter and the large amount of intestinal discomfort associated with not dropping duce in days. But somehow I still get hard and we go to town.
She starts out on top, then we switch. I bend her over the bed, and I even smack her ass (a ballsy move at the time, but she loved it). Due to my built up distraction, I last for what seems like FOREVER. She can't stop moaning and telling me how good it feels, and then she says what every man wants to hear "I want to make you go in my mouth." I **** love women.
So she goes down on me. She was always average at best in the head department but at least she tried. She pops my **** out of her mouth long enough to look up at me and say "tell me if you like this". Then I feel it.
She stuck her finger up my ass.
My brain hits the panic switch and every muscle in my entire body locks up tighter than a three year old virgin. But its too late.
I take a massive, PAINFUL, PAINFUL shit, all over her parents comforter.
No, you aren't understanding. I mean large. Huge. IMMENSE. Take your largest shit and multiple it by forty-two and you'll have an idea of what flew out of me.
And gents, when I say flew, I don't mean "I pooped." I mean "projectile". I mean "hurricane force winds hitting an umbrella stand". And due to my condition, it comes out as a large, dark brown, smelly harpoon.
I know it hit her. I didn't see it. She ran screaming "OH MY GOD OHMYGODOHMYGODEEEEEWWWWWWWW" but I always imagined that, due to her position, it hit her right in the chin. Or at least the tits.
I would like to say I got up to go after her. But I heard the bathroom door shut and I just lied there. The smell hit me after a few seconds. It smelled like someone rolled a cat in shit and threw it into a tire fire. I looked down and saw, to date, the largest bowel movement I've ever heard of laying on the bed. Then I noticed the blood, and when I did, I noticed the pain.
Apparently the fact that it was so large caused it to rip my ass a little bit (thought I was bleeding from the inside. This little doctors trip the next day is what taught me of my condition). There was a small pool of blood where my ass had been. A final reminder of the exact place and moment I lost my virginity. I will treasure this memory for all my days.
I grab my shit with my hands and go to the downstairs bathroom. I throw around 1/3 into the toilet and flush, fearing any more will clog it and only add to my already significant woes.
I stand there, holding 2/3's of my biggest shit of all time, feeling a trickle of blood flow down my leg, trying to ignore the sharp pain stabbing my rectum. I find myself wishing I had a photo of this.
Anyway, I finish flushing my baby, clean off my hands, jam toilet paper between my cheeks (I skipped the bandaid) and went upstairs. I could hear my girlfriend sobbing from behind the bathroom door. I decided not to say anything to her and just keep moving. The smell in her parents room was abysmal. Its like when you take a shit and walk out of the bathroom you think "hey not so bad today," but then you walk back in to grab your magazine and go "HOLY SHIT!". It was one of those moments.
The scene is burned behind my eyelids for all time. My life. My shame. My very first time smelled like a pile of dead babies. I quickly got dressed since the heat from ten thousand candles was making the room feel more like a port-a-potty. I was aware enough to grab the comforter on my way out and drag it downstairs to their washer. Also the top and bottom sheets since the blood had leaked on through all the way to mattress. Still no sign of the GF but at this point I considered it a blessing.
I jammed in the washer with 3 loads worth of detergent and set it on spin, knowing that not even the hand of God would save these linens, let alone Tide and Snuggles.
Then I left. I avoided my GF's calls for days until she came to my house. We had a long talk about what happened. Talk being synonymous with "breaking up with me because I shit on her". And it was all over. She promised not to tell a soul and I don't THINK she ever did. She was probably as ashamed as I was about the whole deed. But I will always this happening as the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me.
One of many Tucker Max stories:
I hadn't realized how supremely shit-housed I was until we stumbled into our room at the Embassy Suites. You ever been so drunk you forgot that you have to shit until the last minute? Well I was at that stage. I nearly had my pants completely off when SlingBlade snaked past me and got into the toilet first. Fine, I go get out of my bar clothes and change into a t-shirt and pink Gap boxers to sleep in. I wait patiently for about three minutes, then I start pounding on the door, screaming at him that I am going to shit on his bed if he doesn't get out of there.
A short time later he opens the door laughing his ass off, and says, "That was perhaps the most prodigious shit ever. I just put that toilet into therapy."
I take a gander into the bathroom. It looks like Revelations. The toilet is overflowing, brown shit water is spilling out all over the bathroom floor, and the tank is making demonic gurgling noises.
THE MOTHERFUCKER CLOGGED UP A HOTEL TOILET!
Hotel toilets are industrial size; they are designed to be able to accommodate repeated elephant-sized shits, and their ram-jet engine flushes generate enough force to suck down a human infant, yet skinny ass 170-pound SlingBlade completely killed ours.
I nearly panic. I let loose a flurry of unintelligible curse words at SlingBlade, punctuated by a "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!," and knock over the lamp in my dash out of the room. The turtle is sticking his head out, and he is coming whether I am on a toilet or not.
I figure that there must be a bathroom somewhere in the lobby, so I shoot down the hall and hop in the elevator. Once in the lobby I can't seem to spot a bathroom anywhere. So, I head around the corner to the front desk, which doesn't face the lobby. It's about 4am, and no one is at the desk. I furiously hit the bell for at least a minute--CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG --until some poor lady comes out with sleep lines all over her face and tells me that the bathroom in the corner of the lobby.
It is hard to describe, so let me give you an aerial picture of what the lobby looks like:
(http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/images/EmbassyMap.gif)
I turn the corner from the front desk into the lobby and realize I don't know which side of the triangular lobby she is talking about. I don't have time to go back and ask her, and I see a white door at the end of the left-hand side, so I quickly waddle towards it. Why am I waddling? Because I have to physically hold my butt cheeks together to prevent myself from crapping all over my pink Gap boxers. I am literally pressing my ass cheeks together with my hands. One of the prouder moments of my life.
I nearly bust the door off it's hinges as I plow through it. I hear a loud, "AYYYY!!," that almost literally scares the shit out of me. I jump back to see that this is a janitor's closet, complete with a small Mexican lady janitor. I momentarily contemplate taking a dump in the janitors bucket, but decide against that, mainly because of the presence of said female janitor.
I try to be as diplomatic as possible, considering that I am about to crap my pants:
Tucker "WHERE IS THE BATHROOM?"
Janitor "No, no se habla Ingles."
Tucker "WHAT?!? Huh, uh...DONDE ESTA FUCKING BANO?"
Janitor "AYA, AYA!"
She points across the lobby. About 60 yards from where I am standing, at the complete other end of the lobby, there is a set of doors that have a large "Restroom" sign over them. Right where the front desk lady said it would be, except on the opposite side of the lobby.
I have about half a second to make a crucial decision: I can either sprint and hope I make it there before I shit in my boxers, or I can stick my thumb up into my ass and shuffle the 60 yards to lavatory freedom. The decision is simple: I break into a full-on dead-ass sprint.
I am a decent athlete, I played football, baseball and basketball in high school, and I stay in good shape. I have run from cops before, I have run from guard dogs, from a legitimate drive-by shooting once while in Kentucky, but I don't think I have ever run that fast in my life. Nothing motivates like the prospect of being covered in human excrement.
Unfortunately, I was not fast enough. It went something like this:
-20 yards into the run I feel my boxers start to sag.
-30 yards into the run, about halfway, I feel my ass crack and legs get noticeably wet.
-40 yards into the run, my boxers have slid down to mid thigh. I am struggling to keep it together.
-50 yards into the run, I can feel wetness all over me and little specs of something hitting the back of my head and ears.
By the time I get to the bathroom door, the end of the 60 yards, I have completely lost it.
I am shitting myself. Full on crapping in my pink Gap boxers.
I step out of my boxers as I crash through the door. Shit is puddled in the seat. I blindly hurl them away from me, and nearly break the door to the first stall. I plop down on the seat and immediately slide off, because my ass is covered in slimy, runny feces. All the while, my butt hole is spouting forth waste. I finally get situated on the toilet and lose perhaps 20 pounds in the next 2 minutes.
During a short respite in my nearly superhuman flow of crap, I notice that the toilet is almost completely full of shit, so I flush. Predictably, the toilet overflows. Great. I move to the next stall, and continue my little adventure, except this time I courtesy flush every few seconds.
By the time I finish, I am physically exhausted, completely dehydrated, and my eyes are tearing up from shitting so hard. I laugh at the inadequacy of toilet paper to clean my body. I take my shirt off and see that the back of it is completely covered in little specks of shit that my heels kicked up from the diarrhea that ran down my legs as I ran. I throw the shirt in the trash, and then see the mirror. My pink Gap boxers are crumpled in a ball on the sink, with a thick black streak leading from the top of the mirror down to them. This is their final resting place.
Completely naked and covered in my own poop, I chuckle, because at this point if I don't laugh I have to cry. As I open the bathroom door to the lobby, I think to myself, "Who else on earth could be having a worse night than me?"
My question is immediately answered.
I see a trail of shit, starting very wide at my feet, getting progressively smaller until it apexes at the chunky white shoes of none other than the small Mexican lady janitor.
Her eyes met mine. We may have been separated by numerous religious, language and socioeconomic barriers, but the "What the fuck just happened?" expression on her face crossed all boundaries.
Now really--picture this scene: I am butt-ass naked, crap plastered all over my ass, legs, back and head, standing about 20 yards away from a Mexican maid, with a trail of black liquid shit leading from her directly to me. What would you do? I wasn't sure. I don't think there is any defined etiquette for this situation.
I shrug my shoulders, say, "Uhh, sorry. I mean, uh--lo siento. Good night. Buenos noche--or whatever," and calmly walk to the elevator.
From the glass window in the elevator, I can see her sobbing. The rest of the lobby tells me why: Not only had my legs kicked shit up on the back of my ears and head, they had sprayed little specs of poop all over EVERYTHING. The couches, the walls, everywhere.
Come to think of it, she wasn't sobbing. I believe "hysterical crying" would be a better descriptive term. Oh well, someone has to clean up my messes, and it sure as shit isn't going to be me.
When I get back to the room, SlingBlade is already in bed. He rolls over, takes one look at me and, never one for sympathy, begins laughing uncontrollably. He literally has to stop laughing because he strains his abdominal muscle. It takes him five whole minutes before he can get the words out,
SlingBlade "Where--where the fuck are your pants?"
Tucker "FUCK YOU ASSHOLE. This is all your fault, Mr. Rhino Dump. If you hadn't had that miscarriage in our toilet I wouldn't be COVERED IN SHIT!"
He couldn"t stop laughing long enough to respond. I took what remained of my dignity and got in the shower. As I was cleaning the poop off my back, I could hear him yell out:
"This is clear proof that there is a God, and he is just!"
-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPENzKOmOl0&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hklRvF98qHA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAn2UFXSsgw
-
(http://c4.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/23/m_bbf3ef63cd4e4d0ea2e9e6f280ca3bc3.jpg)
-
(http://i240.photobucket.com/albums/ff51/yourtasteofdeath/1207543669303ui0.gif)
This is the best one so far.
-
Stripper in front of family picture reminds me of something I saw today. In burger king, pimp with 3 hideous hoes getting into an argument. They get crazy and start telling him they are gonna buy him a drink (which is ass backwards in pimping world) and laughing at them. He shoos them out the door then walks up to a large family who look dissapointed in him. I assumed the blatant pimping in front of their kids was horrifying them. Then the pimp turns to the family, and I swear to god, looks at the woman and says "I'm sorry mama." She replies "You get back there and straighten this out before you start losing money." Seeing a pimp altercation is usually amazing, but that was legendary. Don't know if it translates to a story, but I can't stop laughing about the insanity over and over in my head
(http://img21.imageshack.us/img21/1857/15nov1damnthosehippos.jpg)
And this story wins. Its probably fake, but I prefer to believe it isn't.
-
(http://www.kidyellow.com/topiary.jpg)
topiary at a valve and fitting company in portland, oregon.
-
(http://img145.imageshack.us/img145/5940/1245259730212.jpg)
-
aaaaaaaaaaaand i lost.
-
I didn't laugh shit is weak, forum for cowards.
-
Everyone watch plz.
http://poststuff2.entensity.net/062409/flash.php?media=rice.flv (http://poststuff2.entensity.net/062409/flash.php?media=rice.flv)
-
^^ omg wtf ha ha ha
-
(http://img145.imageshack.us/img145/5940/1245259730212.jpg)
i just lost so bad
(http://4gifs.com/gallery/d/86653-3/Table_cat_distracted.gif)
thank you ceeymar for introducing me to this gem
-
http://imagechan.com/img/6083/The%20internet/
-
(http://i593.photobucket.com/albums/tt17/nytnarbz/pro.jpg)
(http://i593.photobucket.com/albums/tt17/nytnarbz/4184_1161584158227_1186508160_46133.jpg)
(http://i593.photobucket.com/albums/tt17/nytnarbz/lnp.jpg)
(http://i593.photobucket.com/albums/tt17/nytnarbz/l0l.jpg)
(http://i593.photobucket.com/albums/tt17/nytnarbz/aaaaaaa.jpg)
(http://i593.photobucket.com/albums/tt17/nytnarbz/fghjs.jpg)
-
(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_ERGrznxTIwo/RkhUgL2-Z5I/AAAAAAAACos/swah5YgS45c/s400/bear+riding+horse.jpg)
-
I'm at a loss for words.
And I lost on the first page.
-
(http://i593.photobucket.com/albums/tt17/nytnarbz/4184_1161584158227_1186508160_46133.jpg)
[/quote
i couldnt stop laughing at this one
-
Expand Quote
(http://img149.imageshack.us/img149/8341/dunecat.jpg)
this one is so good!
bump!
david lynch would be hyped
-
(http://i593.photobucket.com/albums/tt17/nytnarbz/pro.jpg)
I just lost.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OhIpdSZQZlI
-
(http://media.fukung.net/images/11132/66053c43849ec3a8c75b8321ea8ffec6.png)
-
(http://media.fukung.net/images/11132/66053c43849ec3a8c75b8321ea8ffec6.png)
haha that's funny shit.
-
Mom cancels WOW account
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjZ2-7C-2AI (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjZ2-7C-2AI)
-
^^ that was amazing.
-
^^
lol @ boner & remote in ass
-
remote in ass = failed time travel.
-
care of the best poster in slap history
(http://img5.imageshack.us/img5/11/sequence041.gif)
-
Mom cancels WOW account
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjZ2-7C-2AI (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjZ2-7C-2AI)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-IcUMLoogk
-
Holy shit this 10 yr old kid is pissed. See the photo at the end that caused it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3a-ajsVVus
-
holy shit hahaha.
-
One of many Tucker Max stories:
I hadn't realized how supremely shit-housed I was until we stumbled into our room at the Embassy Suites. You ever been so drunk you forgot that you have to shit until the last minute? Well I was at that stage. I nearly had my pants completely off when SlingBlade snaked past me and got into the toilet first. Fine, I go get out of my bar clothes and change into a t-shirt and pink Gap boxers to sleep in. I wait patiently for about three minutes, then I start pounding on the door, screaming at him that I am going to shit on his bed if he doesn't get out of there.
A short time later he opens the door laughing his ass off, and says, "That was perhaps the most prodigious shit ever. I just put that toilet into therapy."
I take a gander into the bathroom. It looks like Revelations. The toilet is overflowing, brown shit water is spilling out all over the bathroom floor, and the tank is making demonic gurgling noises.
THE MOTHERFUCKER CLOGGED UP A HOTEL TOILET!
Hotel toilets are industrial size; they are designed to be able to accommodate repeated elephant-sized shits, and their ram-jet engine flushes generate enough force to suck down a human infant, yet skinny ass 170-pound SlingBlade completely killed ours.
I nearly panic. I let loose a flurry of unintelligible curse words at SlingBlade, punctuated by a "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!," and knock over the lamp in my dash out of the room. The turtle is sticking his head out, and he is coming whether I am on a toilet or not.
I figure that there must be a bathroom somewhere in the lobby, so I shoot down the hall and hop in the elevator. Once in the lobby I can't seem to spot a bathroom anywhere. So, I head around the corner to the front desk, which doesn't face the lobby. It's about 4am, and no one is at the desk. I furiously hit the bell for at least a minute--CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG --until some poor lady comes out with sleep lines all over her face and tells me that the bathroom in the corner of the lobby.
It is hard to describe, so let me give you an aerial picture of what the lobby looks like:
(http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/images/EmbassyMap.gif)
I turn the corner from the front desk into the lobby and realize I don't know which side of the triangular lobby she is talking about. I don't have time to go back and ask her, and I see a white door at the end of the left-hand side, so I quickly waddle towards it. Why am I waddling? Because I have to physically hold my butt cheeks together to prevent myself from crapping all over my pink Gap boxers. I am literally pressing my ass cheeks together with my hands. One of the prouder moments of my life.
I nearly bust the door off it's hinges as I plow through it. I hear a loud, "AYYYY!!," that almost literally scares the shit out of me. I jump back to see that this is a janitor's closet, complete with a small Mexican lady janitor. I momentarily contemplate taking a dump in the janitors bucket, but decide against that, mainly because of the presence of said female janitor.
I try to be as diplomatic as possible, considering that I am about to crap my pants:
Tucker "WHERE IS THE BATHROOM?"
Janitor "No, no se habla Ingles."
Tucker "WHAT?!? Huh, uh...DONDE ESTA FUCKING BANO?"
Janitor "AYA, AYA!"
She points across the lobby. About 60 yards from where I am standing, at the complete other end of the lobby, there is a set of doors that have a large "Restroom" sign over them. Right where the front desk lady said it would be, except on the opposite side of the lobby.
I have about half a second to make a crucial decision: I can either sprint and hope I make it there before I shit in my boxers, or I can stick my thumb up into my ass and shuffle the 60 yards to lavatory freedom. The decision is simple: I break into a full-on dead-ass sprint.
I am a decent athlete, I played football, baseball and basketball in high school, and I stay in good shape. I have run from cops before, I have run from guard dogs, from a legitimate drive-by shooting once while in Kentucky, but I don't think I have ever run that fast in my life. Nothing motivates like the prospect of being covered in human excrement.
Unfortunately, I was not fast enough. It went something like this:
-20 yards into the run I feel my boxers start to sag.
-30 yards into the run, about halfway, I feel my ass crack and legs get noticeably wet.
-40 yards into the run, my boxers have slid down to mid thigh. I am struggling to keep it together.
-50 yards into the run, I can feel wetness all over me and little specs of something hitting the back of my head and ears.
By the time I get to the bathroom door, the end of the 60 yards, I have completely lost it.
I am shitting myself. Full on crapping in my pink Gap boxers.
I step out of my boxers as I crash through the door. Shit is puddled in the seat. I blindly hurl them away from me, and nearly break the door to the first stall. I plop down on the seat and immediately slide off, because my ass is covered in slimy, runny feces. All the while, my butt hole is spouting forth waste. I finally get situated on the toilet and lose perhaps 20 pounds in the next 2 minutes.
During a short respite in my nearly superhuman flow of crap, I notice that the toilet is almost completely full of shit, so I flush. Predictably, the toilet overflows. Great. I move to the next stall, and continue my little adventure, except this time I courtesy flush every few seconds.
By the time I finish, I am physically exhausted, completely dehydrated, and my eyes are tearing up from shitting so hard. I laugh at the inadequacy of toilet paper to clean my body. I take my shirt off and see that the back of it is completely covered in little specks of shit that my heels kicked up from the diarrhea that ran down my legs as I ran. I throw the shirt in the trash, and then see the mirror. My pink Gap boxers are crumpled in a ball on the sink, with a thick black streak leading from the top of the mirror down to them. This is their final resting place.
Completely naked and covered in my own poop, I chuckle, because at this point if I don't laugh I have to cry. As I open the bathroom door to the lobby, I think to myself, "Who else on earth could be having a worse night than me?"
My question is immediately answered.
I see a trail of shit, starting very wide at my feet, getting progressively smaller until it apexes at the chunky white shoes of none other than the small Mexican lady janitor.
Her eyes met mine. We may have been separated by numerous religious, language and socioeconomic barriers, but the "What the fuck just happened?" expression on her face crossed all boundaries.
Now really--picture this scene: I am butt-ass naked, crap plastered all over my ass, legs, back and head, standing about 20 yards away from a Mexican maid, with a trail of black liquid shit leading from her directly to me. What would you do? I wasn't sure. I don't think there is any defined etiquette for this situation.
I shrug my shoulders, say, "Uhh, sorry. I mean, uh--lo siento. Good night. Buenos noche--or whatever," and calmly walk to the elevator.
From the glass window in the elevator, I can see her sobbing. The rest of the lobby tells me why: Not only had my legs kicked shit up on the back of my ears and head, they had sprayed little specs of poop all over EVERYTHING. The couches, the walls, everywhere.
Come to think of it, she wasn't sobbing. I believe "hysterical crying" would be a better descriptive term. Oh well, someone has to clean up my messes, and it sure as shit isn't going to be me.
When I get back to the room, SlingBlade is already in bed. He rolls over, takes one look at me and, never one for sympathy, begins laughing uncontrollably. He literally has to stop laughing because he strains his abdominal muscle. It takes him five whole minutes before he can get the words out,
SlingBlade "Where--where the fuck are your pants?"
Tucker "FUCK YOU ASSHOLE. This is all your fault, Mr. Rhino Dump. If you hadn't had that miscarriage in our toilet I wouldn't be COVERED IN SHIT!"
He couldn"t stop laughing long enough to respond. I took what remained of my dignity and got in the shower. As I was cleaning the poop off my back, I could hear him yell out:
"This is clear proof that there is a God, and he is just!"
I litterally cried
-
(http://media.nscdn.com/uploads/cache/images/1231299504-725952-336x1000-1231223819238zr0.jpg)
-
I'm a loser.
Can anyone tell me how i can copy gifs and post them elsewhere?
-
This thread kills! Lol'd many times
-
Expand Quote
(http://img145.imageshack.us/img145/5940/1245259730212.jpg)
i just lost so bad
no matter how many times i see that it always gets me.
-
(http://i240.photobucket.com/albums/ff51/yourtasteofdeath/1207543669303ui0.gif)
This is the best one so far.
HAHAHA agreeed
-
Fuck it's not even fair when you just open this thread to this page. That dog one just slayed me.
-
(http://i714.photobucket.com/albums/ww149/SRQfm/hippo-chase-pic-charles-hotham-3718.jpg)
(http://i714.photobucket.com/albums/ww149/SRQfm/gp.jpg)
(http://i714.photobucket.com/albums/ww149/SRQfm/ray.jpg)
(http://i714.photobucket.com/albums/ww149/SRQfm/cosby.jpg)
(http://i714.photobucket.com/albums/ww149/SRQfm/kids_funny_05.jpg)
-
(http://i34.tinypic.com/5kipg6.jpg)
-
gabe perez is a comical genius
-
i'm totally that dude hanging out in the commons area looking at his computer laughing by himself.
-
i was seconds away from getting kicked out of class - kept reading and got kicked out
-
i lost
-
Expand Quote
(http://img21.imageshack.us/img21/1857/15nov1damnthosehippos.jpg)
It's real, and I found the culprit!
(http://inapcache.boston.com/universal/site_graphics/blogs/bigpicture/animal_10_16/a27_20560093.jpg)
-
Expand Quote
One of many Tucker Max stories:
I hadn't realized how supremely shit-housed I was until we stumbled into our room at the Embassy Suites. You ever been so drunk you forgot that you have to shit until the last minute? Well I was at that stage. I nearly had my pants completely off when SlingBlade snaked past me and got into the toilet first. Fine, I go get out of my bar clothes and change into a t-shirt and pink Gap boxers to sleep in. I wait patiently for about three minutes, then I start pounding on the door, screaming at him that I am going to shit on his bed if he doesn't get out of there.
A short time later he opens the door laughing his ass off, and says, "That was perhaps the most prodigious shit ever. I just put that toilet into therapy."
I take a gander into the bathroom. It looks like Revelations. The toilet is overflowing, brown shit water is spilling out all over the bathroom floor, and the tank is making demonic gurgling noises.
THE MOTHERFUCKER CLOGGED UP A HOTEL TOILET!
Hotel toilets are industrial size; they are designed to be able to accommodate repeated elephant-sized shits, and their ram-jet engine flushes generate enough force to suck down a human infant, yet skinny ass 170-pound SlingBlade completely killed ours.
I nearly panic. I let loose a flurry of unintelligible curse words at SlingBlade, punctuated by a "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!," and knock over the lamp in my dash out of the room. The turtle is sticking his head out, and he is coming whether I am on a toilet or not.
I figure that there must be a bathroom somewhere in the lobby, so I shoot down the hall and hop in the elevator. Once in the lobby I can't seem to spot a bathroom anywhere. So, I head around the corner to the front desk, which doesn't face the lobby. It's about 4am, and no one is at the desk. I furiously hit the bell for at least a minute--CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG --until some poor lady comes out with sleep lines all over her face and tells me that the bathroom in the corner of the lobby.
It is hard to describe, so let me give you an aerial picture of what the lobby looks like:
(http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/images/EmbassyMap.gif)
I turn the corner from the front desk into the lobby and realize I don't know which side of the triangular lobby she is talking about. I don't have time to go back and ask her, and I see a white door at the end of the left-hand side, so I quickly waddle towards it. Why am I waddling? Because I have to physically hold my butt cheeks together to prevent myself from crapping all over my pink Gap boxers. I am literally pressing my ass cheeks together with my hands. One of the prouder moments of my life.
I nearly bust the door off it's hinges as I plow through it. I hear a loud, "AYYYY!!," that almost literally scares the shit out of me. I jump back to see that this is a janitor's closet, complete with a small Mexican lady janitor. I momentarily contemplate taking a dump in the janitors bucket, but decide against that, mainly because of the presence of said female janitor.
I try to be as diplomatic as possible, considering that I am about to crap my pants:
Tucker "WHERE IS THE BATHROOM?"
Janitor "No, no se habla Ingles."
Tucker "WHAT?!? Huh, uh...DONDE ESTA FUCKING BANO?"
Janitor "AYA, AYA!"
She points across the lobby. About 60 yards from where I am standing, at the complete other end of the lobby, there is a set of doors that have a large "Restroom" sign over them. Right where the front desk lady said it would be, except on the opposite side of the lobby.
I have about half a second to make a crucial decision: I can either sprint and hope I make it there before I shit in my boxers, or I can stick my thumb up into my ass and shuffle the 60 yards to lavatory freedom. The decision is simple: I break into a full-on dead-ass sprint.
I am a decent athlete, I played football, baseball and basketball in high school, and I stay in good shape. I have run from cops before, I have run from guard dogs, from a legitimate drive-by shooting once while in Kentucky, but I don't think I have ever run that fast in my life. Nothing motivates like the prospect of being covered in human excrement.
Unfortunately, I was not fast enough. It went something like this:
-20 yards into the run I feel my boxers start to sag.
-30 yards into the run, about halfway, I feel my ass crack and legs get noticeably wet.
-40 yards into the run, my boxers have slid down to mid thigh. I am struggling to keep it together.
-50 yards into the run, I can feel wetness all over me and little specs of something hitting the back of my head and ears.
By the time I get to the bathroom door, the end of the 60 yards, I have completely lost it.
I am shitting myself. Full on crapping in my pink Gap boxers.
I step out of my boxers as I crash through the door. Shit is puddled in the seat. I blindly hurl them away from me, and nearly break the door to the first stall. I plop down on the seat and immediately slide off, because my ass is covered in slimy, runny feces. All the while, my butt hole is spouting forth waste. I finally get situated on the toilet and lose perhaps 20 pounds in the next 2 minutes.
During a short respite in my nearly superhuman flow of crap, I notice that the toilet is almost completely full of shit, so I flush. Predictably, the toilet overflows. Great. I move to the next stall, and continue my little adventure, except this time I courtesy flush every few seconds.
By the time I finish, I am physically exhausted, completely dehydrated, and my eyes are tearing up from shitting so hard. I laugh at the inadequacy of toilet paper to clean my body. I take my shirt off and see that the back of it is completely covered in little specks of shit that my heels kicked up from the diarrhea that ran down my legs as I ran. I throw the shirt in the trash, and then see the mirror. My pink Gap boxers are crumpled in a ball on the sink, with a thick black streak leading from the top of the mirror down to them. This is their final resting place.
Completely naked and covered in my own poop, I chuckle, because at this point if I don't laugh I have to cry. As I open the bathroom door to the lobby, I think to myself, "Who else on earth could be having a worse night than me?"
My question is immediately answered.
I see a trail of shit, starting very wide at my feet, getting progressively smaller until it apexes at the chunky white shoes of none other than the small Mexican lady janitor.
Her eyes met mine. We may have been separated by numerous religious, language and socioeconomic barriers, but the "What the fuck just happened?" expression on her face crossed all boundaries.
Now really--picture this scene: I am butt-ass naked, crap plastered all over my ass, legs, back and head, standing about 20 yards away from a Mexican maid, with a trail of black liquid shit leading from her directly to me. What would you do? I wasn't sure. I don't think there is any defined etiquette for this situation.
I shrug my shoulders, say, "Uhh, sorry. I mean, uh--lo siento. Good night. Buenos noche--or whatever," and calmly walk to the elevator.
From the glass window in the elevator, I can see her sobbing. The rest of the lobby tells me why: Not only had my legs kicked shit up on the back of my ears and head, they had sprayed little specs of poop all over EVERYTHING. The couches, the walls, everywhere.
Come to think of it, she wasn't sobbing. I believe "hysterical crying" would be a better descriptive term. Oh well, someone has to clean up my messes, and it sure as shit isn't going to be me.
When I get back to the room, SlingBlade is already in bed. He rolls over, takes one look at me and, never one for sympathy, begins laughing uncontrollably. He literally has to stop laughing because he strains his abdominal muscle. It takes him five whole minutes before he can get the words out,
SlingBlade "Where--where the fuck are your pants?"
Tucker "FUCK YOU ASSHOLE. This is all your fault, Mr. Rhino Dump. If you hadn't had that miscarriage in our toilet I wouldn't be COVERED IN SHIT!"
He couldn"t stop laughing long enough to respond. I took what remained of my dignity and got in the shower. As I was cleaning the poop off my back, I could hear him yell out:
"This is clear proof that there is a God, and he is just!"
I litterally cried
highlight of my fucking day!!
-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7TCaepy70U
-
(http://i34.tinypic.com/5kipg6.jpg)
i almost made it. then this showed up.
-
holy shit
(http://i905.photobucket.com/albums/ac259/cassettecathedral/1256714198770.gif)
-
(http://photos-e.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v272/103/61/567716923/n567716923_1100964_7605.jpg)
(http://photos-g.ll.facebook.com/photos-ll-snc1/v2610/103/61/567716923/n567716923_2083542_1133094.jpg)
I cried
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I'm just wondering - has anyone actually made it through the whole thread without laughing? is that humanly possible?
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Expand Quote
Expand Quote
One of many Tucker Max stories:
I hadn't realized how supremely shit-housed I was until we stumbled into our room at the Embassy Suites. You ever been so drunk you forgot that you have to shit until the last minute? Well I was at that stage. I nearly had my pants completely off when SlingBlade snaked past me and got into the toilet first. Fine, I go get out of my bar clothes and change into a t-shirt and pink Gap boxers to sleep in. I wait patiently for about three minutes, then I start pounding on the door, screaming at him that I am going to shit on his bed if he doesn't get out of there.
A short time later he opens the door laughing his ass off, and says, "That was perhaps the most prodigious shit ever. I just put that toilet into therapy."
I take a gander into the bathroom. It looks like Revelations. The toilet is overflowing, brown shit water is spilling out all over the bathroom floor, and the tank is making demonic gurgling noises.
THE MOTHERFUCKER CLOGGED UP A HOTEL TOILET!
Hotel toilets are industrial size; they are designed to be able to accommodate repeated elephant-sized shits, and their ram-jet engine flushes generate enough force to suck down a human infant, yet skinny ass 170-pound SlingBlade completely killed ours.
I nearly panic. I let loose a flurry of unintelligible curse words at SlingBlade, punctuated by a "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!," and knock over the lamp in my dash out of the room. The turtle is sticking his head out, and he is coming whether I am on a toilet or not.
I figure that there must be a bathroom somewhere in the lobby, so I shoot down the hall and hop in the elevator. Once in the lobby I can't seem to spot a bathroom anywhere. So, I head around the corner to the front desk, which doesn't face the lobby. It's about 4am, and no one is at the desk. I furiously hit the bell for at least a minute--CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG --until some poor lady comes out with sleep lines all over her face and tells me that the bathroom in the corner of the lobby.
It is hard to describe, so let me give you an aerial picture of what the lobby looks like:
(http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/images/EmbassyMap.gif)
I turn the corner from the front desk into the lobby and realize I don't know which side of the triangular lobby she is talking about. I don't have time to go back and ask her, and I see a white door at the end of the left-hand side, so I quickly waddle towards it. Why am I waddling? Because I have to physically hold my butt cheeks together to prevent myself from crapping all over my pink Gap boxers. I am literally pressing my ass cheeks together with my hands. One of the prouder moments of my life.
I nearly bust the door off it's hinges as I plow through it. I hear a loud, "AYYYY!!," that almost literally scares the shit out of me. I jump back to see that this is a janitor's closet, complete with a small Mexican lady janitor. I momentarily contemplate taking a dump in the janitors bucket, but decide against that, mainly because of the presence of said female janitor.
I try to be as diplomatic as possible, considering that I am about to crap my pants:
Tucker "WHERE IS THE BATHROOM?"
Janitor "No, no se habla Ingles."
Tucker "WHAT?!? Huh, uh...DONDE ESTA FUCKING BANO?"
Janitor "AYA, AYA!"
She points across the lobby. About 60 yards from where I am standing, at the complete other end of the lobby, there is a set of doors that have a large "Restroom" sign over them. Right where the front desk lady said it would be, except on the opposite side of the lobby.
I have about half a second to make a crucial decision: I can either sprint and hope I make it there before I shit in my boxers, or I can stick my thumb up into my ass and shuffle the 60 yards to lavatory freedom. The decision is simple: I break into a full-on dead-ass sprint.
I am a decent athlete, I played football, baseball and basketball in high school, and I stay in good shape. I have run from cops before, I have run from guard dogs, from a legitimate drive-by shooting once while in Kentucky, but I don't think I have ever run that fast in my life. Nothing motivates like the prospect of being covered in human excrement.
Unfortunately, I was not fast enough. It went something like this:
-20 yards into the run I feel my boxers start to sag.
-30 yards into the run, about halfway, I feel my ass crack and legs get noticeably wet.
-40 yards into the run, my boxers have slid down to mid thigh. I am struggling to keep it together.
-50 yards into the run, I can feel wetness all over me and little specs of something hitting the back of my head and ears.
By the time I get to the bathroom door, the end of the 60 yards, I have completely lost it.
I am shitting myself. Full on crapping in my pink Gap boxers.
I step out of my boxers as I crash through the door. Shit is puddled in the seat. I blindly hurl them away from me, and nearly break the door to the first stall. I plop down on the seat and immediately slide off, because my ass is covered in slimy, runny feces. All the while, my butt hole is spouting forth waste. I finally get situated on the toilet and lose perhaps 20 pounds in the next 2 minutes.
During a short respite in my nearly superhuman flow of crap, I notice that the toilet is almost completely full of shit, so I flush. Predictably, the toilet overflows. Great. I move to the next stall, and continue my little adventure, except this time I courtesy flush every few seconds.
By the time I finish, I am physically exhausted, completely dehydrated, and my eyes are tearing up from shitting so hard. I laugh at the inadequacy of toilet paper to clean my body. I take my shirt off and see that the back of it is completely covered in little specks of shit that my heels kicked up from the diarrhea that ran down my legs as I ran. I throw the shirt in the trash, and then see the mirror. My pink Gap boxers are crumpled in a ball on the sink, with a thick black streak leading from the top of the mirror down to them. This is their final resting place.
Completely naked and covered in my own poop, I chuckle, because at this point if I don't laugh I have to cry. As I open the bathroom door to the lobby, I think to myself, "Who else on earth could be having a worse night than me?"
My question is immediately answered.
I see a trail of shit, starting very wide at my feet, getting progressively smaller until it apexes at the chunky white shoes of none other than the small Mexican lady janitor.
Her eyes met mine. We may have been separated by numerous religious, language and socioeconomic barriers, but the "What the fuck just happened?" expression on her face crossed all boundaries.
Now really--picture this scene: I am butt-ass naked, crap plastered all over my ass, legs, back and head, standing about 20 yards away from a Mexican maid, with a trail of black liquid shit leading from her directly to me. What would you do? I wasn't sure. I don't think there is any defined etiquette for this situation.
I shrug my shoulders, say, "Uhh, sorry. I mean, uh--lo siento. Good night. Buenos noche--or whatever," and calmly walk to the elevator.
From the glass window in the elevator, I can see her sobbing. The rest of the lobby tells me why: Not only had my legs kicked shit up on the back of my ears and head, they had sprayed little specs of poop all over EVERYTHING. The couches, the walls, everywhere.
Come to think of it, she wasn't sobbing. I believe "hysterical crying" would be a better descriptive term. Oh well, someone has to clean up my messes, and it sure as shit isn't going to be me.
When I get back to the room, SlingBlade is already in bed. He rolls over, takes one look at me and, never one for sympathy, begins laughing uncontrollably. He literally has to stop laughing because he strains his abdominal muscle. It takes him five whole minutes before he can get the words out,
SlingBlade "Where--where the fuck are your pants?"
Tucker "FUCK YOU ASSHOLE. This is all your fault, Mr. Rhino Dump. If you hadn't had that miscarriage in our toilet I wouldn't be COVERED IN SHIT!"
He couldn"t stop laughing long enough to respond. I took what remained of my dignity and got in the shower. As I was cleaning the poop off my back, I could hear him yell out:
"This is clear proof that there is a God, and he is just!"
I litterally cried
highlight of my fucking day!!
I'm surprised you didn't just shit in the dude who said prodigious' mouth, he's like the bad guy in a movie you just want to see get mutilated in the worst way possible.
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classic for sure
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oldie but goodie
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gabe perez is a comical genius
My thoughts exactly.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iu4z9hIn08A
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(http://cdn1.knowyourmeme.com/i/3309/original/i-dunno-lol.jpg?1244616130)
I lost a long time ago, but I just keep losing. thanks....
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^ my pleasure. i see you're from boulder, i'm gonna be back home in breckenridge in a few weeks. let's skate!
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im down man, hopefully this shitty weather gets better in time...
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alright buddy!
(http://bestlulz.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/icame.jpg)
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i'm here to revive this thread
(http://i722.photobucket.com/albums/ww225/D3rp/Niggas.jpg?t=1260262077)
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I am no good at this thread. Gets me everytime.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XlgoaJ0Ml0k
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I am no good at this thread. Gets me everytime.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XlgoaJ0Ml0k
HAHAHAHAH I'm pretty sure I've laughed at just about everything in this thread are we going by points or do I just lose every time i return?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bxuynicf9rI
This is all i got :-\
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We made it to Classic Slap!!!
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We made it to Classic Slap!!!
(http://static.squidoo.com/resize/squidoo_images/-1/draft_lens1513858module8197113photo_TigerWoods_Fist_Pump.jpg1202767632)
celebrate!!!
(http://www.manuelkiem.com/wp-content/uploads/celebrate.jpg)
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(http://i959.photobucket.com/albums/ae76/Doopey_02/bravery-chicken-bucket-demotivation.jpg)
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZlinTiIqJXg
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1KSaUEu_T4
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i'm here to revive this thread
(http://i722.photobucket.com/albums/ww225/D3rp/Niggas.jpg?t=1260262077)
this shit made me cry.
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srsly LOL'ing over here
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(http://img5.tinypic.info/files/lk9cru92srrvjaqb52yz.gif)
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Lets keep going.
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HAHAHAHHAHAKEDKDEFJKVERHGKFH
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HAHAHAOHMYGOD
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HAHAHAOHMYGOD
QFT!!!
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jbhskjdbfjkabsgjkdbak
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Damn it...got this far. But HOLY SHIT did I lose it here.
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Holy shit the last few posts are so great.
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This page is killing it
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if i saw that live i'd probably suffocate from laughter, she is so fucking mad at the end
(http://www.yodawgyo.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/yo-dawg-the-car-was-this-big.jpg)
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haha
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^^ hahhaahahha i lost so bad
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2BgjH_CtIA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=REQRHdMRimw
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Those xzibitjokes are always funny as fuck, but does hereally say stupid shit like that?
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No, have you not seen the show Pimp My Ride? The entire premise of the show is that he'll take your shitty car, make it tight, and then ruin it by taking something you "like" in your personal life and incorporate it into the car itself. Like "yo dawg, i heard you like coffee, so we put a mr coffee in your arm rest, so you can make coffee while you drive!" I shit you not, they did that. So someone had the funny idea to subtitle his photo "i heard you like cars, so we put a car in your car so you can drive when you drive!" and it sorta just caught on
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FtX8nswnUKU
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^HAHA I lost.
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(http://charlottesfancy.files.wordpress.com/2009/06/bob-loblaw1.jpg)
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2BgjH_CtIA
I lost so hard.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pa1pIO4_lUY
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pa1pIO4_lUY
fuck....game over.
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Expand Quote
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pa1pIO4_lUY
fuck....game over.
"fuck...game over."
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^^^
Here you go:
(http://img683.imageshack.us/img683/6228/1550.png)
That adds to 1550..
hahaha. You scored a 1550 out of 2400. That makes more sense. That's not very good dude.
LOLOLOLOL
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Expand Quote
One of many Tucker Max stories:
I hadn't realized how supremely shit-housed I was until we stumbled into our room at the Embassy Suites. You ever been so drunk you forgot that you have to shit until the last minute? Well I was at that stage. I nearly had my pants completely off when SlingBlade snaked past me and got into the toilet first. Fine, I go get out of my bar clothes and change into a t-shirt and pink Gap boxers to sleep in. I wait patiently for about three minutes, then I start pounding on the door, screaming at him that I am going to shit on his bed if he doesn't get out of there.
A short time later he opens the door laughing his ass off, and says, "That was perhaps the most prodigious shit ever. I just put that toilet into therapy."
I take a gander into the bathroom. It looks like Revelations. The toilet is overflowing, brown shit water is spilling out all over the bathroom floor, and the tank is making demonic gurgling noises.
THE MOTHERFUCKER CLOGGED UP A HOTEL TOILET!
Hotel toilets are industrial size; they are designed to be able to accommodate repeated elephant-sized shits, and their ram-jet engine flushes generate enough force to suck down a human infant, yet skinny ass 170-pound SlingBlade completely killed ours.
I nearly panic. I let loose a flurry of unintelligible curse words at SlingBlade, punctuated by a "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!," and knock over the lamp in my dash out of the room. The turtle is sticking his head out, and he is coming whether I am on a toilet or not.
I figure that there must be a bathroom somewhere in the lobby, so I shoot down the hall and hop in the elevator. Once in the lobby I can't seem to spot a bathroom anywhere. So, I head around the corner to the front desk, which doesn't face the lobby. It's about 4am, and no one is at the desk. I furiously hit the bell for at least a minute--CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG --until some poor lady comes out with sleep lines all over her face and tells me that the bathroom in the corner of the lobby.
It is hard to describe, so let me give you an aerial picture of what the lobby looks like:
(http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/images/EmbassyMap.gif)
I turn the corner from the front desk into the lobby and realize I don't know which side of the triangular lobby she is talking about. I don't have time to go back and ask her, and I see a white door at the end of the left-hand side, so I quickly waddle towards it. Why am I waddling? Because I have to physically hold my butt cheeks together to prevent myself from crapping all over my pink Gap boxers. I am literally pressing my ass cheeks together with my hands. One of the prouder moments of my life.
I nearly bust the door off it's hinges as I plow through it. I hear a loud, "AYYYY!!," that almost literally scares the shit out of me. I jump back to see that this is a janitor's closet, complete with a small Mexican lady janitor. I momentarily contemplate taking a dump in the janitors bucket, but decide against that, mainly because of the presence of said female janitor.
I try to be as diplomatic as possible, considering that I am about to crap my pants:
Tucker "WHERE IS THE BATHROOM?"
Janitor "No, no se habla Ingles."
Tucker "WHAT?!? Huh, uh...DONDE ESTA FUCKING BANO?"
Janitor "AYA, AYA!"
She points across the lobby. About 60 yards from where I am standing, at the complete other end of the lobby, there is a set of doors that have a large "Restroom" sign over them. Right where the front desk lady said it would be, except on the opposite side of the lobby.
I have about half a second to make a crucial decision: I can either sprint and hope I make it there before I shit in my boxers, or I can stick my thumb up into my ass and shuffle the 60 yards to lavatory freedom. The decision is simple: I break into a full-on dead-ass sprint.
I am a decent athlete, I played football, baseball and basketball in high school, and I stay in good shape. I have run from cops before, I have run from guard dogs, from a legitimate drive-by shooting once while in Kentucky, but I don't think I have ever run that fast in my life. Nothing motivates like the prospect of being covered in human excrement.
Unfortunately, I was not fast enough. It went something like this:
-20 yards into the run I feel my boxers start to sag.
-30 yards into the run, about halfway, I feel my ass crack and legs get noticeably wet.
-40 yards into the run, my boxers have slid down to mid thigh. I am struggling to keep it together.
-50 yards into the run, I can feel wetness all over me and little specs of something hitting the back of my head and ears.
By the time I get to the bathroom door, the end of the 60 yards, I have completely lost it.
I am shitting myself. Full on crapping in my pink Gap boxers.
I step out of my boxers as I crash through the door. Shit is puddled in the seat. I blindly hurl them away from me, and nearly break the door to the first stall. I plop down on the seat and immediately slide off, because my ass is covered in slimy, runny feces. All the while, my butt hole is spouting forth waste. I finally get situated on the toilet and lose perhaps 20 pounds in the next 2 minutes.
During a short respite in my nearly superhuman flow of crap, I notice that the toilet is almost completely full of shit, so I flush. Predictably, the toilet overflows. Great. I move to the next stall, and continue my little adventure, except this time I courtesy flush every few seconds.
By the time I finish, I am physically exhausted, completely dehydrated, and my eyes are tearing up from shitting so hard. I laugh at the inadequacy of toilet paper to clean my body. I take my shirt off and see that the back of it is completely covered in little specks of shit that my heels kicked up from the diarrhea that ran down my legs as I ran. I throw the shirt in the trash, and then see the mirror. My pink Gap boxers are crumpled in a ball on the sink, with a thick black streak leading from the top of the mirror down to them. This is their final resting place.
Completely naked and covered in my own poop, I chuckle, because at this point if I don't laugh I have to cry. As I open the bathroom door to the lobby, I think to myself, "Who else on earth could be having a worse night than me?"
My question is immediately answered.
I see a trail of shit, starting very wide at my feet, getting progressively smaller until it apexes at the chunky white shoes of none other than the small Mexican lady janitor.
Her eyes met mine. We may have been separated by numerous religious, language and socioeconomic barriers, but the "What the fuck just happened?" expression on her face crossed all boundaries.
Now really--picture this scene: I am butt-ass naked, crap plastered all over my ass, legs, back and head, standing about 20 yards away from a Mexican maid, with a trail of black liquid shit leading from her directly to me. What would you do? I wasn't sure. I don't think there is any defined etiquette for this (http://img13.imageshack.us/img13/7845/mike0644.jpg).
I shrug my shoulders, say, "Uhh, sorry. I mean, uh--lo siento. Good night. Buenos noche--or whatever," and calmly walk to the elevator.
From the glass window in the elevator, I can see her sobbing. The rest of the lobby tells me why: Not only had my legs kicked shit up on the back of my ears and head, they had sprayed little specs of poop all over EVERYTHING. The couches, the walls, everywhere.
Come to think of it, she wasn't sobbing. I believe "hysterical crying" would be a better descriptive term. Oh well, someone has to clean up my messes, and it sure as shit isn't going to be me.
When I get back to the room, SlingBlade is already in bed. He rolls over, takes one look at me and, never one for sympathy, begins laughing uncontrollably. He literally has to stop laughing because he strains his abdominal muscle. It takes him five whole minutes before he can get the words out,
SlingBlade "Where--where the fuck are your pants?"
Tucker "FUCK YOU ASSHOLE. This is all your fault, Mr. Rhino Dump. If you hadn't had that miscarriage in our toilet I wouldn't be COVERED IN SHIT!"
He couldn"t stop laughing long enough to respond. I took what remained of my dignity and got in the shower. As I was cleaning the poop off my back, I could hear him yell out:
"This is clear proof that there is a God, and he is just!"
I litterally cried
I literally didnt read one word. im good on that.
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Expand Quote
One of many Tucker Max stories:
I hadn't realized how supremely shit-housed I was until we stumbled into our room at the Embassy Suites. You ever been so drunk you forgot that you have to shit until the last minute? Well I was at that stage. I nearly had my pants completely off when SlingBlade snaked past me and got into the toilet first. Fine, I go get out of my bar clothes and change into a t-shirt and pink Gap boxers to sleep in. I wait patiently for about three minutes, then I start pounding on the door, screaming at him that I am going to shit on his bed if he doesn't get out of there.
A short time later he opens the door laughing his ass off, and says, "That was perhaps the most prodigious shit ever. I just put that toilet into therapy."
I take a gander into the bathroom. It looks like Revelations. The toilet is overflowing, brown shit water is spilling out all over the bathroom floor, and the tank is making demonic gurgling noises.
THE MOTHERFUCKER CLOGGED UP A HOTEL TOILET!
Hotel toilets are industrial size; they are designed to be able to accommodate repeated elephant-sized shits, and their ram-jet engine flushes generate enough force to suck down a human infant, yet skinny ass 170-pound SlingBlade completely killed ours.
I nearly panic. I let loose a flurry of unintelligible curse words at SlingBlade, punctuated by a "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!," and knock over the lamp in my dash out of the room. The turtle is sticking his head out, and he is coming whether I am on a toilet or not.
I figure that there must be a bathroom somewhere in the lobby, so I shoot down the hall and hop in the elevator. Once in the lobby I can't seem to spot a bathroom anywhere. So, I head around the corner to the front desk, which doesn't face the lobby. It's about 4am, and no one is at the desk. I furiously hit the bell for at least a minute--CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG --until some poor lady comes out with sleep lines all over her face and tells me that the bathroom in the corner of the lobby.
It is hard to describe, so let me give you an aerial picture of what the lobby looks like:
(http://www.tuckermax.com/archives/images/EmbassyMap.gif)
I turn the corner from the front desk into the lobby and realize I don't know which side of the triangular lobby she is talking about. I don't have time to go back and ask her, and I see a white door at the end of the left-hand side, so I quickly waddle towards it. Why am I waddling? Because I have to physically hold my butt cheeks together to prevent myself from crapping all over my pink Gap boxers. I am literally pressing my ass cheeks together with my hands. One of the prouder moments of my life.
I nearly bust the door off it's hinges as I plow through it. I hear a loud, "AYYYY!!," that almost literally scares the shit out of me. I jump back to see that this is a janitor's closet, complete with a small Mexican lady janitor. I momentarily contemplate taking a dump in the janitors bucket, but decide against that, mainly because of the presence of said female janitor.
I try to be as diplomatic as possible, considering that I am about to crap my pants:
Tucker "WHERE IS THE BATHROOM?"
Janitor "No, no se habla Ingles."
Tucker "WHAT?!? Huh, uh...DONDE ESTA FUCKING BANO?"
Janitor "AYA, AYA!"
She points across the lobby. About 60 yards from where I am standing, at the complete other end of the lobby, there is a set of doors that have a large "Restroom" sign over them. Right where the front desk lady said it would be, except on the opposite side of the lobby.
I have about half a second to make a crucial decision: I can either sprint and hope I make it there before I shit in my boxers, or I can stick my thumb up into my ass and shuffle the 60 yards to lavatory freedom. The decision is simple: I break into a full-on dead-ass sprint.
I am a decent athlete, I played football, baseball and basketball in high school, and I stay in good shape. I have run from cops before, I have run from guard dogs, from a legitimate drive-by shooting once while in Kentucky, but I don't think I have ever run that fast in my life. Nothing motivates like the prospect of being covered in human excrement.
Unfortunately, I was not fast enough. It went something like this:
-20 yards into the run I feel my boxers start to sag.
-30 yards into the run, about halfway, I feel my ass crack and legs get noticeably wet.
-40 yards into the run, my boxers have slid down to mid thigh. I am struggling to keep it together.
-50 yards into the run, I can feel wetness all over me and little specs of something hitting the back of my head and ears.
By the time I get to the bathroom door, the end of the 60 yards, I have completely lost it.
I am shitting myself. Full on crapping in my pink Gap boxers.
I step out of my boxers as I crash through the door. Shit is puddled in the seat. I blindly hurl them away from me, and nearly break the door to the first stall. I plop down on the seat and immediately slide off, because my ass is covered in slimy, runny feces. All the while, my butt hole is spouting forth waste. I finally get situated on the toilet and lose perhaps 20 pounds in the next 2 minutes.
During a short respite in my nearly superhuman flow of crap, I notice that the toilet is almost completely full of shit, so I flush. Predictably, the toilet overflows. Great. I move to the next stall, and continue my little adventure, except this time I courtesy flush every few seconds.
By the time I finish, I am physically exhausted, completely dehydrated, and my eyes are tearing up from shitting so hard. I laugh at the inadequacy of toilet paper to clean my body. I take my shirt off and see that the back of it is completely covered in little specks of shit that my heels kicked up from the diarrhea that ran down my legs as I ran. I throw the shirt in the trash, and then see the mirror. My pink Gap boxers are crumpled in a ball on the sink, with a thick black streak leading from the top of the mirror down to them. This is their final resting place.
Completely naked and covered in my own poop, I chuckle, because at this point if I don't laugh I have to cry. As I open the bathroom door to the lobby, I think to myself, "Who else on earth could be having a worse night than me?"
My question is immediately answered.
I see a trail of shit, starting very wide at my feet, getting progressively smaller until it apexes at the chunky white shoes of none other than the small Mexican lady janitor.
Her eyes met mine. We may have been separated by numerous religious, language and socioeconomic barriers, but the "What the fuck just happened?" expression on her face crossed all boundaries.
Now really--picture this scene: I am butt-ass naked, crap plastered all over my ass, legs, back and head, standing about 20 yards away from a Mexican maid, with a trail of black liquid shit leading from her directly to me. What would you do? I wasn't sure. I don't think there is any defined etiquette for this (http://img13.imageshack.us/img13/7845/mike0644.jpg).
I shrug my shoulders, say, "Uhh, sorry. I mean, uh--lo siento. Good night. Buenos noche--or whatever," and calmly walk to the elevator.
From the glass window in the elevator, I can see her sobbing. The rest of the lobby tells me why: Not only had my legs kicked shit up on the back of my ears and head, they had sprayed little specs of poop all over EVERYTHING. The couches, the walls, everywhere.
Come to think of it, she wasn't sobbing. I believe "hysterical crying" would be a better descriptive term. Oh well, someone has to clean up my messes, and it sure as shit isn't going to be me.
When I get back to the room, SlingBlade is already in bed. He rolls over, takes one look at me and, never one for sympathy, begins laughing uncontrollably. He literally has to stop laughing because he strains his abdominal muscle. It takes him five whole minutes before he can get the words out,
SlingBlade "Where--where the fuck are your pants?"
Tucker "FUCK YOU ASSHOLE. This is all your fault, Mr. Rhino Dump. If you hadn't had that miscarriage in our toilet I wouldn't be COVERED IN SHIT!"
He couldn"t stop laughing long enough to respond. I took what remained of my dignity and got in the shower. As I was cleaning the poop off my back, I could hear him yell out:
"This is clear proof that there is a God, and he is just!"
I litterally cried
holy shit, this post wins, haven't laughed as hard as i did in a long time
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(http://img707.imageshack.us/img707/2781/1271048858258.jpg)
(http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_t28o-vRErpM/S-tRNPtcJRI/AAAAAAAAGq4/FNlpNWUqV30/s400/23303f0b9010e92a8a5b861a4f55e1185fbf4e46_m.jpg)
(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_t28o-vRErpM/S3m4DhClw4I/AAAAAAAAGVE/yVS6YD2iWtc/s400/iXPNO.jpg)
(http://img23.imageshack.us/img23/4831/1271049159806.jpg)
(http://img517.imageshack.us/img517/1996/117nq.jpg)
(http://img526.imageshack.us/img526/5956/sssslu.jpg)
(http://img59.imageshack.us/img59/3134/aaaaaaaaaao.jpg)
(http://img689.imageshack.us/img689/1859/pedopope.gif)
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(http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2010/4/13/129156784015064071.gif)
(http://cheezcomixed.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/128960479102965343.jpg)
(http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2010/4/22/129164471202435208.gif)
(http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2010/4/26/129167590785319668.gif)
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(http://img1.www.spoki.lv/upload/articles/14/143091/images/Jaunas-un-dazas-67.jpg)
(http://img4.www.spoki.lv/upload/articles/14/143091/images/Jaunas-un-dazas-74.jpg)
(http://img3.www.spoki.lv/upload/articles/14/143091/images/Jaunas-un-dazas-65.jpg)
(http://img4.www.spoki.lv/upload/articles/14/143091/images/Jaunas-un-dazas-62.jpg)
(http://img3.www.spoki.lv/upload/articles/14/143091/images/Jaunas-un-dazas-53.jpg)
(http://img1.www.spoki.lv/upload/articles/14/143091/images/Jaunas-un-dazas-55.jpg)
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWFyxoTB7NI&playnext_from=TL&videos=WYwYvvFG7Zw
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWFyxoTB7NI&playnext_from=TL&videos=WYwYvvFG7Zw
oh. my. god.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1krkgvwHbo
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Expand Quote
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWFyxoTB7NI&playnext_from=TL&videos=WYwYvvFG7Zw
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68edB_Q1e4g
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWFyxoTB7NI&playnext_from=TL&videos=WYwYvvFG7Zw (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWFyxoTB7NI&playnext_from=TL&videos=WYwYvvFG7Zw)
I lost.
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(http://i77.photobucket.com/albums/j52/biggwatt/ClassyJereme.jpg)
this one got me haha.
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thought I would add something
YouTube - Broadcast Yourself. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-WHfRzTNS0#)
(http://www.careyscottrr.com/sberra.JPG)
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Expand Quote
(http://i240.photobucket.com/albums/ff51/yourtasteofdeath/1207543669303ui0.gif)
This is the best one so far.
HAHAHA agreeed
this is the best, id go to that show
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(http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/thumb/7/74/1252555011518.jpg/400px-1252555011518.jpg)
haha wtf i lost
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Dont know if you guys saw this, but this dude is straight up chinese gangsta:D
YouTube - Broadcast Yourself. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_o47Gs6DQ0&feature=related#)
YouTube - Broadcast Yourself. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzfgPipoeNI&feature=related#)
YouTube - Broadcast Yourself. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qv9wk5lgGFo&feature=related#)
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Expand Quote
(http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/thumb/7/74/1252555011518.jpg/400px-1252555011518.jpg)
hahaha fuck
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Expand Quote
Expand Quote
(http://images.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/thumb/7/74/1252555011518.jpg/400px-1252555011518.jpg)
looks like the rock is feenin' for some puss at the last picture box haha, he might as well get on that DP
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My Vagina Aint Handicapped Freestyle (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZEWC3NGZtI#)
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Hahahahahahahaha!!!!
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(http://i240.photobucket.com/albums/ff19/briden108/1259251524777.jpg)
Hahahaha holy shit
whoever wins has no soul.
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i guess i dont have a soul then.
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nothing makes you laugh anti hero
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(http://www.teamjimmyjoe.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/BadTattoosGrandpa.jpg)
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Total loss.
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hahahaha. that looks like its then front of his house too. thatd be quite a thing to walk in on
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Total loss.
edit:
(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9g75h5iPD1r0c1kwo1_1280.jpg)
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edit:
(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9g75h5iPD1r0c1kwo1_1280.jpg)
bahahaha lost hard
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(http://24.media.tumblr.com/1053921f891452184c2aa37742363154/tumblr_mi6r6tc6AW1rw370to1_500.jpg)
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(http://24.media.tumblr.com/1053921f891452184c2aa37742363154/tumblr_mi6r6tc6AW1rw370to1_500.jpg)
Mother of God
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iXp2ruZoxK8 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iXp2ruZoxK8)
Makes me crack up
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(http://25.media.tumblr.com/663e059d8b15e69761f611f41c04f551/tumblr_mid9k6DuzZ1qb5gkjo2_400.gif)
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I laughed, was disgusted, then laughed again. +1
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(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lihxbgdFxo1qzgcjvo1_250.gif)
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(http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/New+Background..+You+love+it+FJ.+Dedz+to+4chan+you_a92c41_3395686.jpg)
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(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7b1jgKriu1rnmjxuo1_400.gif)
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOuyJPMhfxg
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I win.
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(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v651/emerican_idol/111003_rocknroll.jpg?t=1240273400)
I lost
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Time to lose.....
(http://www.spaceavalanche.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/stick-up.jpg)
(http://www.spaceavalanche.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/black-santa_on-black1.jpg)
(http://www.spaceavalanche.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/bad-chewy-versb-on-black2.jpg)
(http://www.spaceavalanche.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/batman_english.jpg)
http://www.spaceavalanche.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/matrix_english.jpg
And last but not least...
(http://www.demotivation.us/media/demotivators/demotivation.us__Determination-If-you-have-the-intelligence-and-willpower-everything-is-possible.jpg)
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I win.
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I win.
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Don't know if any of these have been posted here
(http://i.imgur.com/RQVVF.gif)
(http://s28.postimg.org/40qjf48vv/1393556033306.gif)
(http://s29.postimg.org/mkvh0i5hx/1393841369519.gif)
(http://s2.postimg.org/3zwyj707b/1393916212122.gif)
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Don't know if any of these have been posted here
(http://i.imgur.com/RQVVF.gif)
(http://s28.postimg.org/40qjf48vv/1393556033306.gif)
(http://s29.postimg.org/mkvh0i5hx/1393841369519.gif)
(http://s2.postimg.org/3zwyj707b/1393916212122.gif)
Re post, the images are fucked up
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(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lihxbgdFxo1qzgcjvo1_250.gif)
oh my god i would love to smell that
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French Bulldog Fart Scare (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EN1KigdIahc&feature=youtu.be#)