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General Discussion => WHATEVER => Topic started by: NickDagger on October 22, 2008, 09:05:58 AM
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Everyone here has interesting things that happen to us or that we witness-this thread is for that. Don't worry about being a good writer or anything like that, just post the things that you've experienced, encountered, or even just heard about - of course the more interesting the better- funny, gross, scary, sad, scandalous, romantic, or whatevs.
With 10,000 members, we should have some good ones among us.
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once my sister threw a basketball at me and hit me in the face.
That is the story of how I lost my first tooth.
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Related:
When I was around 11 I was playing basketball with my cousins and brother, and I slipped while running(to da hoop) and fell face first, knocking out half of one of my front teeth, requiring hours of dental work, including a root canal and culminating with them capping the missing section.
Then, last year I was skateboarding at our local park and wanted to show off to all the little kids by doing a fake* kickflip back tail on this slanted ledge. Well I got into the trick perfectly...too perfectly and instead of sliding a few inches at most as I expected, I slid up the entire ledge-at least my lower body did, my upper body was not prepared-so I once again hit my face on the concrete...
Knocking out the now fake section, of the same tooth.
*You know where you can get into a trick, and maybe even slide or grind a few inches, but can't really do it? Or with flip tricks where you can spin em like you have the ability to land them but never really do? I do this with switch tres. I'm pretty sure everyone does this, to try and impress people. We're all kooks.
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Sucides, car wrecks, first dates, failed love, successful love, fights, deaths, I know we've all experienced notable things.
So tell us.
p.s. if anyone has grown up around or known people that turned out to be murderers, would love to hear about it.
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When I was 3 or something my family was at Montgomery Ward looking for exercise bikes or somethings. Don't remember but at least I was. Kinda wandered far from the pack and I had some huge curiosity of the pedals/drivetrain crap because spinning it made me high or something. One thing led to another and my left pinky ended up somewhere near those parts and my life was over. I cried for my mommy and daddy and they saved me <3. Carried me home and there was nothing more than a few cuts on my pinky. Little did I know, my pinky was broken but I never noticed because I was so little and my bones were till soft I guess. Now my pinky looks normal in curled/fist mode but I can't straighten that thing out for the life of me.It pretty much looks like /\_ (except a lot more mellow) with that flat part being the part with the nail end. I'm sure this happens to everyone.
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once my sister threw a basketball at me and hit me in the face.
That is the story of how I lost my first tooth.
when i was 12 i threw a potato at my sister while she was talking and it went right into her mouth.
That is the story of how i threw a potato at my sister.
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when I was nine I slipped and fell 4 feet off this waterfall and onto a jagged rock right inbetween my legs. I got lucky and the jagged part went in between my inner thigh and my balls...needless to say it was the most painful thing ever. I ended up having to walk two miles home, then for the next ten days my one nut would turn colors overnight, literally purple, yellow, green. It was fucking nasty.
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one day when i was in class in 8th grade, there was a bunch of screaming coming from outside. everyone, including the teacher, came to the window to check it out. it was my friend's neighbor. she was crying hysterical. well our classroom window faced their backyard and their garage. she came outside and opened up the garage door. all you could see were two legs dangling. her husband hung himself in the garage and anyone with a view saw it. it was a really grim moment....made me sick to my stomach.
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Oh fuck!
This is what I'm talking about, love the phrasing in the description as well.
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I met this girl in the neighborhood when I was sixteen and later on we went back to her house to hang out.
That is the story of when I first got laid.
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When I was 5, my kindergardengirlfriend (everyone has one right? I bet you guys have awesome stories about them) told me that we had to kiss like the people from tv (that's how she described it). We didn't do it. I wonder how dirty she is nowadays.
I'll come up with a better story tomorrow.
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I met this girl in the neighborhood when I was sixteen and later on we went back to her house to hang out.
That is the story of when I first got laid.
Tell the story.
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Oh fuck!
This is what I'm talking about, love the phrasing in the description as well.
hmmm...your enthusiam is a little unsettling to me. but it was something that will stay with me for life.
I met this girl in the neighborhood when I was sixteen and later on we went back to her house to hang out.
That is the story of when I first got laid.
that's impressive. same thing almost happened to me. not for my first time, but this girl came up to me while i was skating. turns out she was 16 at the time and wanted to go back to her place. i was 20 or 21 at the time so i had to bail out before things would get criminal......i'm asian btw. so i tend to look really young. especially if i'm in some skate gear.
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this one time, I like, ate an ice cream. With sprinkles on it. It felt good.
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When I was 5, my kindergardengirlfriend (everyone has one right? I bet you guys have awesome stories about them) told me that we had to kiss like the people from tv (that's how she described it). We didn't do it. I wonder how dirty she is nowadays.
I'll come up with a better story tomorrow.
Same type shit.
Kindergartedn GF, lived in a 2 family apt. complex in the hood, with some woods down the street. She lived downstairs I lived upstairs. We go down the street to play in the woods (which was like an acre) and she's like let's do what they do in the movies, so we pull our pants down to our ankles and start slobbering and tongue kissing. 2 minutes into it we're on the ground and I'm eating her pussy and shes licking my needle dick. I wish I could've flexed my cream treat on her, but I was only 5 or 6. We made out like that one more time til her dad caught us in the backyard...we werent allowed to be friends after that. I moved to the suburbs a month later.
I wish I had the swagger I had then, now...
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when i was in kindergarten we were on a field trip to this park near our school. there was a part we weren't supposed to go into, so naturally my friends and i were going over there. it was like a little grass ditch that went down about 4 or 5 feet that we were going to jump over.. there wasn't even anything past it, just more grass for like 5 feet then a fence. really pointless. so 3 of my friends jumped over the ditch, i was the last one to go, and the teachers saw me right when i was about to jump. it was pretty do or die for being 5 years old, so i took a couple running steps and leaped over the ditch... right onto a 2 x 4 with a rusty nail sticking out of it. the nail went straight through my shoe and into my foot and i started screaming and crying immediately upon impact. this kid john ended up pulling the 2 x 4 so the nail would come out. he was the hero and i got a couple stitches and got to be the posterboy idiot of why you should listen to teachers for the remainder of the school year.
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anyone who didn't see this thread the first time round, read all of Jesco's posts in here
http://www.slapmagazine.com/index.php?option=com_smf&Itemid=33&topic=29410.0
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When I was 5, my kindergardengirlfriend (everyone has one right? I bet you guys have awesome stories about them) told me that we had to kiss like the people from tv (that's how she described it). We didn't do it. I wonder how dirty she is nowadays.
I'll come up with a better story tomorrow.
Kindergartedn GF, lived in a 2 family apt. complex in the hood, with some woods down the street. She lived downstairs I lived upstairs. We go down the street to play in the woods (which was like an acre) and she's like let's do what they do in the movies, so we pull our pants down to our ankles and start slobbering and tongue kissing. 2 minutes into it we're on the ground and I'm eating her pussy and shes licking my needle dick. I wish I could've flexed my cream treat on her, but I was only 5 or 6. We made out like that one more time til her dad caught us in the backyard...we werent allowed to be friends after that. I moved to the suburbs a month later.
I wish I had the swagger I had then, now...
This happened while you were in kindergarten?
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When I was 5, my kindergardengirlfriend (everyone has one right? I bet you guys have awesome stories about them) told me that we had to kiss like the people from tv (that's how she described it). We didn't do it. I wonder how dirty she is nowadays.
I'll come up with a better story tomorrow.
Kindergartedn GF, lived in a 2 family apt. complex in the hood, with some woods down the street. She lived downstairs I lived upstairs. We go down the street to play in the woods (which was like an acre) and she's like let's do what they do in the movies, so we pull our pants down to our ankles and start slobbering and tongue kissing. 2 minutes into it we're on the ground and I'm eating her pussy and shes licking my needle dick. I wish I could've flexed my cream treat on her, but I was only 5 or 6. We made out like that one more time til her dad caught us in the backyard...we werent allowed to be friends after that. I moved to the suburbs a month later.
I wish I had the swagger I had then, now...
This happened while you were in kindergarten?
Makes my kindergarten first kiss seem so pathetic.
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yeash. Like i said we were just doin what we saw on t.v. i think it was just natural to lick whatever was in betwixt each others legs at that time and place...
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i asked my girlfriend to masturbate for me.
she said yes as long as i masturbate for her.
i said yes only if i get to cum all over her face.
thats was the first time i beat off in front of a girl.
shit was tight.
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p.s. if anyone has grown up around or known people that turned out to be murderers, would love to hear about it.
a friend of my uncle's turned out to be a murderer. my brother and i were babysat by this guy as kids too, which is fucked to think about. worst part is, a local cop spent 6 years behind bars for the murder he didn't commit. the guy's conscience got to him i guess and he ended up confessing a few years back.
the rest of the story: http://www.artisticexpressions.org/Scott.html
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When I was 5, my kindergardengirlfriend (everyone has one right? I bet you guys have awesome stories about them) told me that we had to kiss like the people from tv (that's how she described it). We didn't do it. I wonder how dirty she is nowadays.
I'll come up with a better story tomorrow.
Kindergartedn GF, lived in a 2 family apt. complex in the hood, with some woods down the street. She lived downstairs I lived upstairs. We go down the street to play in the woods (which was like an acre) and she's like let's do what they do in the movies, so we pull our pants down to our ankles and start slobbering and tongue kissing. 2 minutes into it we're on the ground and I'm eating her pussy and shes licking my needle dick. I wish I could've flexed my cream treat on her, but I was only 5 or 6. We made out like that one more time til her dad caught us in the backyard...we werent allowed to be friends after that. I moved to the suburbs a month later.
I wish I had the swagger I had then, now...
This happened while you were in kindergarten?
me and my pre-school gf flashed eachother, but unfortunately I'd yet to see a porno, it would be at least 3 years later till I realized the parts interlock
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are you saying you flexed that cream treat 3 years outta pre-k muh nig?
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Last night I was think about killing myself. Not because Im depressed, Im not depressed at all, but Im really inclined to find out what happens when you die. If I ever want to freak out I think about what happens when you die.
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My friend and this other kid where in the local video store one day when we were all like 12 and the kid goes "I gotta leave". My friends like wtf man why, and the kid's like I really really have to leave. My friends like dude what is your problem, then when the clerk goes in the back, the kid reaches in his pants and pulls out a pancaked shit and holds it out in his hand.
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New year's eve, two years ago me and my friends wound up at some random house party, We're invited in the by the owner(some kid we've never met or seen before) of the house, who looks like a 16 year old version of chunk with a velour sweatsuit on, he immediately takes us into the kitchen where he is has this crazy spread hes mad for everyone, theres a full turkey about 100 hundred chicken fingers and he's got a full pork roast going in the oven, and on top of that he opened his liquor cabinet for everyone to take from. So we explore his house a little more, there all these crazy exotic birds in every room, we go outside and there's a fuckin donkey in the backyard, i shit you not. After being there for a little while, these meatheads show up that we had got into a fight with the night before, so we immediately know there's gonna be trouble even though they apologized to us the night before. So of course within a couple minutes of them being there one them starts a fight with my friend over some bullshit that happened seven years ago, so we all start fighting with these fucks, we're outnumbered but we hold our own. The fight moves out onto the front lawn after the owner of the house kicked us out, so we're all out there fighting with these fucks, then out of nowhere chunk comes running out of his with a double barrel shotgun. points in the area where were all fighting and fires off a shot right at all of us, and then screams THE NEXT SHOT IS GONNA FUCKIN HIT SOMEONE GUARANTEED!!!! FUCKIN LEAVE. We all stand in there disbelief for a second at just what happened, but then book it out of there as quick as we can. To make this long story short we later met up with one of the meatheads after all his s friends bailed on him and my friend beat him to a pulp, needless one fo the wierdest and craziest expierences of my life.
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Man... just today I got on the bus, the driver accelerated and I fell on my face, dropping the large sack of pennies I had and sending them flying everywhere. I then yelled at a woman and her child to help me pick them up. Once I finally got them all, I walked past all the empty seats up front, towards the back where a couple was talking.
After staring at them and listening in for a couple minutes, I learned that they were in fact just brother and sister. So I told the girl she was the prettiest bus rider I've ever seen, and that I wanted her number, so we could go get a McFlurry sometime. She declined, and in a very rude manner too.
this didn't really happen, my friend just asked what the worst bus etiquette would be, and that was my reply
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are you saying you flexed that cream treat 3 years outta pre-k muh nig?
hahah I fuckin wish
I meant it'd be 3 years till I seen pr0ns and was like "ohhhhh, shit! I blew it..."
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Ok, I was going to start a thread a while back about shit that the cky's made you do. This would have been what I put. So me and a bunch of my friends got together on a sunday to play hockey on a pond near my friends house. We get bored pretty quick and head back to my friends place. We decided we would get some pizza, but get out the camera and fuck with the pizza guy. So I am inside filming and my friends go out back to what I thought was going to be my one friend running and sliding across the pizza guys car naked. The pizza guy gets there and comes to the door.. as he is heading back I see my friend coming running across as planned. Then just after him my friend comes chasing in hunting gear with an antique rifle and chases him around the property.
We all had a laugh, the pizza guy was all like ??? . We go inside, eat our pizza, and watch the footage. We forget about it, start playing video games. My friend for some reason goes outside and calls out to us "Oh shit! Come look at this!" And at either end of his street (which is a major street connecting the country and the city I grew up) there are two black vans parked side ways. The guy comes inside and tells us about how his neighbors have always been sketchy, and that they could have been dealing/up to some questionable shit. So half of our group are out on the lawn watching as swat teams come marching in from either end. I was inside getting all excited, having not even thought of the possibility that they might be there for us. Next thing I know, everyone out on the lawn are on their knees getting rushed by a bunch of cops with automatic rifles, shot guns, a fucking K-9 unit, the works. We all bail into the house and destroy the tape. Someone had driven past and saw a naked guy getting chased, thinking it was some sort of hick sex slave getting chased by a kidnapper. The cops got everyone out of the house, in the snow, with dogs sniffing around us and guns to the backs of our heads. The friend that had us there had to explain that the gun was an antique, which the cops destroyed, and then started grilling him on a sling shot made from a twig. It was pretty intense.
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did the sex slave get free in the end?
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Yea, I'm pretty sure he's writing a novel.
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the other day i decided to bite the bullet and go get a hair cut. I only get a hair cut once every couple of months because i struggle with maintaining a good self image and altering what i see in a mirror everyday can really fuck with me. Today though(I had planned on it for a good two weeks), i was going to march into great clips and demand my noodley hair to be beautified. Well, I make it out the door with a flustered heart and a wavering voice, unsure of my aesthetic future, and standing to the left of me on a silly little patch of useless grass is an older man, probably early sixties, with bright white hair and a very gentlemanly moustache. Apparently he is employed by the university to do silly things to plants and dirt. I walk by sheepishly, half excited, half loopy, and this man flings words at me, seemingly shot out of the tips of his gentlemanly moustache. "ROTO ROOTER," hits me in the face and i don't quite comprehend why these bizarre syllables are vibrating my eardrums at this time of metaphysical limbo. I glance back at the man in navy dickies and a button up gray shirt with his orangey face and dashing moustache and i say, "oh....sure." He chuckles to himself. maybe he's laughing at my silly mess of hair. I honestly can't recall if in fact that man was wielding a roto-rooter. It could have been some kind of....no. It was a roto rooter. I got my hair cut by a fat lady named Anne that day. she cut around my left ear too high. Today a girl named Anna that i met at a party walked into my psychology class. She's not in the class, she was skipping her usual class and came in with a friend. She invited me to her birthday party. I like Anna. She's not fat and doesn't mess up my hair. I'm going to buy her a roto rooter for her birthday.
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This was sometime in high school. I would take the bus since I lived kind of far away. So one day we were driving and I remember the driver just yelling "Move lady!" and he slammed the brakes. We all felt a thud. Everyone rushed outside and there was a woman on the floor. I remember her gasping, looking at us and thats it. She died in front of us before the ambulance got there. I threw up. That one hit me hard.
One of my friends ended up dieing when he was skating. He was by himself and hit his head. He was skating some stairs I think.
I had another friend who took too much heroin. She didn't make it.
I owed a gun long ago. I remember this one night I was so bummed on everything. I was crying. I can't even remember what it was about, something stupid probably. I had serious thoughts of pulling the trigger that night. I can't believe I even considered that.
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One time way back in grade 9, I geuss 6 years ago, I was seeing this girl and she thought it would be fun to give me a lapdance at her house, in her parents room. Yeah great idea, so suprise suprise her mom walks in right in the middle of it with her daughters thong riding up her waist and me sitting with a massive grin on my face, I was horrified, I walked into the kitchen to talk to her mom but she just said "its fine" and looked back at the computer
And that was the story of my first lapdance
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were you allowed to sell your daughter on craigslist back in 2001?
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I went to coinstar and i thought i'd only get like 20 bucks and i got 48!
yeah I'll be back to this thread eventually I'm not in a good reminiscing mode right now.
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I was once coming home from a trip to the car wash and was driving though an intersection getting into the sweet sounds of Fugazi on my Ipod. I casually looked to my right and saw an elderly man in a tiny white truck barreling towards me with his eyes about the size of beachballs.
That was the story of my first car accident.
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I owed a gun long ago. I remember this one night I was so bummed on everything. I was crying. I can't even remember what it was about, something stupid probably. I had serious thoughts of pulling the trigger that night. I can't believe I even considered that.
In the dark days after I graduated from college and was aimless I lived on a friends couch for awhile. He had a crazy roommate whose parents owned a pawnshop so he had lots of guns. Anyways, one day I walked in and he was sitting in the La-Z-Boy crying with a handgun in his lap. I think I just left and he was "fine" the next day.
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Don't neglect work stories and love stories and school stories!
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When I was 9 or so, I lived in Indonesia. On a family holiday to Bali my dad made me walk with him about 2 miles down Nusa Dua beach, despite my repeated warnings of impending shart action. Eventually, my bowels giving way, I thought "fuck it" and just ditched him. I ran and ran and ran, and finally, in the manicured gardens of my luxurious 5 star hotel, I sharted all over myself right in front of an utterly bewildered Japanese tour group.
To add insult to injury, their guide cleaned me off in front of them with a fire hydrant.
Radical.
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when I was younger I hooked up with a girl whose ex-cop stepfather had a crush on her. we were both drunk, horny and naked when he rocked up at the party. had to show up at his place the next day with a sizable hangover, where he threatened me with arrest and associated ass rapeage. He then proceeded to throttle me, but I talked him out of it.
That was the story of my first angry stepdad encounter.
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its been a while since ive read every post in a thread.
back in my hometown of niagara falls you can just walk into marine land (our crappy version of sea world) after hours. there's just a huge section of fence missing for some odd reason that you can just wander in and pet the whales. my friend one time released the sea lion and it took the fucking thing like 20 minutes to get out of the cage. security would come, but you would see the head lights on their vehicles coming at you from the other side of the place, giving you minutes to hide or run away. i wanted to ride one of the reindeers but security was coming. i regret not doing that every day.
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for some reason or another when i was 6 i poured my whole glass of orange juice on my sisters head at breakfast for no reason. i dont know what i was thinking or why i specifically remember it at all, but to this day it amazes me how weird i was.
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so a friend of mine was sleeping in the top bunk in his dorm room when he's awaken by his roommate comes in with his girlfriend. rather than leave he decides to try and sleep through it. anyway, his roommate and this girl start messin around and end up fuckin in the bottom bunk. dude can't sleep with the sounds of fucking below him. just then he hears his roommate talkin about wanting to fuck her in the ass. she's never done it before but she's down for it. well when his roommate pulled out, the girl shit uncontrollably causing him to throw up all over her causing her to throw up too. it was quite a mess he said.
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you stole that from tucker max you dirtburger
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you stole that from tucker max you dirtburger
What is Tucker Max? I heard the exact same story when I was in highschool about one of my friends.. it was a rumor that started over some shit stained sheets after a party. A kid told me about it at lunch and I laughed so hard at how insane the rumor had gotten I did a full body laugh and head butted the girl sitting behind me.
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you stole that from tucker max you dirtburger
hah!
i never even heard of tucker max before. but i just looked up his story. it didn't happen the same way as that, but it did happen. i actually talked to the girl at a party about it.
"oh wait, aren't you the girl that shit the bed?"
then she cried and ran away. i was kind of drunk at the time.
:(
hmmm, now that i think about it, maybe she cried cause it was a dirty rumor. common occurance?? either way, it sure as hell scared me out of stickin anything up a girls pooper.
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One time during my Devun Walsh wanna-be phase I took ten shots of rich and rare whiskey and pissed all over my RA's door before this snowboard club meeting at around 7pm.
For some reason nothing was ever mentioned about it during the following residence hall meeting.
I also later found out that they were doubles. :-X
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A few months ago this girl I know in college's step dad died and she texted me saying "Kieth is in the newpaper today" talking about her step dad, but I thought she was talking about someone who we went to school with called Kieth Taylor, I didn't know her step dad was called Kieth so I text back "haha what page? he's a fucking moron", she got really upset to say the least, I tried to explain it was a mistake but she wasn't having it and doesn't want to be friends anymore, mainly because I thought the whole thing was really funny
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you stole that from tucker max you dirtburger
I think it's pretty funny how this rumor has circulated throughout every high school in the country apparently.
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for some reason or another when i was 6 i poured my whole glass of orange juice on my sisters head at breakfast for no reason. i dont know what i was thinking or why i specifically remember it at all, but to this day it amazes me how weird i was.
this reminds me of when i was about 5 years old living in russia , my family lived in a big apartment building and i remember walking in the hallway with a plastic bag and a toy tractor in it and i just started swinging it uncontrollably and hitting my brother in the face with it he was bleedin really bad and just trippin out , after that i put it down and just walked down the hallway and drawing on the walls with lipstick
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for some reason or another when i was 6 i poured my whole glass of orange juice on my sisters head at breakfast for no reason. i dont know what i was thinking or why i specifically remember it at all, but to this day it amazes me how weird i was.
I did the exact same thing. She got me back during a water fight when she took a jug of milk from the fridge. That was kinda weird.
Anyhow, when I was in grade 5 there was this turd kid named Russell. He'd failed a grade and was kinda the butt of jokes and what have you. One time somebody put dog shit in his baseball glove and threw it at him, that kinda thing.
So, he had this stupid fucking Aerobie, I dunno if you guys remember those, but it was like a frisbee with a hole in the middle. He was playing with it in the school yard, and I asked him if I could try it. Those things go pretty far, and it ended up on the roof. He hemmed and hawed about how he'd have to find a janitor to get it down, and he was a big pussy about it.
I didn't see him for a long time and couple a years passed. He musta been in high school by this time, and I was in junior high. I bumped into him at a 7-11 and the first thing he says when he sees me (and he was dead serious), was that he wants his Aerobie back, and how he never got his precious Aerobie back. He seriously started crying which was totally inappropriate and embarrassing having this weird fucker crying at me in the 7-11.
He kept saying he was going to tell my dad on me, I guess cause my dad was his soccer coach or some shit when he was a kid. I dunno, regular stuff. Maybe I was an asshole to him, but public crying when you're in high school is somewhat disgraceful.
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The first time I got a bj I was down in this girls basement after a party had died down... I was laying on the ground and after I came and it was all slurped up, I sat up and let a huge fart rip right in front of her. Oh, and the first girl I went down on was this nasty broad, but her brother Jason Spezza is on the ottawa senators now and killing it. I am going to the game on saturday when the leafs play the sens and am going to try and heckle him about his sisters nasty pussy. I gotta get nice and drunk so I follow through with the plan.
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oh god, the first girl i "did it" with was, i think, the sister of "mad child" from swollen members...
jason spezza > mad child
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The first time I got a bj I was down in this girls basement after a party had died down... I was laying on the ground and after I came and it was all slurped up, I sat up and let a huge fart rip right in front of her. Oh, and the first girl I went down on was this nasty broad, but her brother Jason Spezza is on the ottawa senators now and killing it. I am going to the game on saturday when the leafs play the sens and am going to try and heckle him about his sisters nasty pussy. I gotta get nice and drunk so I follow through with the plan.
Next time I come to Toronto we need to get drunk, if for nothing else because of the passage above.
Fuck the sens.
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i use to watch ron popeil infomercials religiously. "set it and forget it!"
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i use to watch ron popeil infomercials religiously. "set it and forget it!"
I once begged my mom to get us a Showtime rotisserie.
And thats the story of when I found out my mom is a bitch who wants me to eat like an animal.
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The first time I got a bj I was down in this girls basement after a party had died down... I was laying on the ground and after I came and it was all slurped up, I sat up and let a huge fart rip right in front of her. Oh, and the first girl I went down on was this nasty broad, but her brother Jason Spezza is on the ottawa senators now and killing it. I am going to the game on saturday when the leafs play the sens and am going to try and heckle him about his sisters nasty pussy. I gotta get nice and drunk so I follow through with the plan.
Next time I come to Toronto we need to get drunk, if for nothing else because of the passage above.
Fuck the sens.
Yeah that was straight inspiration right there. My first BJ was at an outdoor kegger, and the chick and I went back to my subaru which had a hatch back get in there, she goes to work but was fucking braces, ouch! (She had braces on her teeth) She spit the giz load all over my shirt, fucking bitch. Luckily I was wearing two shirts, I used to rock 2 tee's all the time back in the d-zzzay.
My last BJ was fucking real sad, got it from a fat chick like a year or so ago, I couldn't bust, I even asked her to pant and moan extra harder, ended off wacking it and blasted all over her center console/interior of her car. Then went back into the bar, fuck.
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this story has no climax really, just a random drunk night being really, really dumb.
the other weekend i was driving my friend and his gf to the subway from this party we were at. i was pretty fucking wasted at this point. i wanted to hang and drink more but they wanted to head back into manhattan. so i dropped them off, and had a little joy ride around. i was blasting music and singing at the top of my lungs, by myself of course. i decided i needed more beer so instead of stopping at any of the 32 thousand bodegas around, i proceeded to park right out front of the bar. i head into the bar, its pretty dead, it was 3:30 by this time i guess. i order myself a bud and sit in a booth, waiting for the bartender to turn his back so i could leave and bring the beer with out with me (ive been doing that too often lately). he finally goes and does something else and im out. i finally get the door open, and now im driving around drinking it like its a bottle of water or something. i go through the mcdonalds drive through with the beer in the cup holder like whatever no big deal. then i drove home, popped in uncle buck on vhs, and ate disgutingly good mcdonalds food and passed out on my futon. looking back this was fucking retarted. considering that everything i did was in a 4 block radius.
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The first time I got a bj I was down in this girls basement after a party had died down... I was laying on the ground and after I came and it was all slurped up, I sat up and let a huge fart rip right in front of her. Oh, and the first girl I went down on was this nasty broad, but her brother Jason Spezza is on the ottawa senators now and killing it. I am going to the game on saturday when the leafs play the sens and am going to try and heckle him about his sisters nasty pussy. I gotta get nice and drunk so I follow through with the plan.
Next time I come to Toronto we need to get drunk, if for nothing else because of the passage above.
Fuck the sens.
Deal.. maybe by then toronto will have another hockey team and we can actually afford to go heckle Spezza together. My friend got some tickets for his birthday so I got a freebee.
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this story has no climax really, just a random drunk night being really, really dumb.
the other weekend i was driving my friend and his gf to the subway from this party we were at. i was pretty fucking wasted at this point. i wanted to hang and drink more but they wanted to head back into manhattan. so i dropped them off, and had a little joy ride around. i was blasting music and singing at the top of my lungs, by myself of course. i decided i needed more beer so instead of stopping at any of the 32 thousand bodegas around, i proceeded to park right out front of the bar. i head into the bar, its pretty dead, it was 3:30 by this time i guess. i order myself a bud and sit in a booth, waiting for the bartender to turn his back so i could leave and bring the beer with out with me (ive been doing that too often lately). he finally goes and does something else and im out. i finally get the door open, and now im driving around drinking it like its a bottle of water or something. i go through the mcdonalds drive through with the beer in the cup holder like whatever no big deal. then i drove home, popped in uncle buck on vhs, and ate disgutingly good mcdonalds food and passed out on my futon. looking back this was fucking retarted. considering that everything i did was in a 4 block radius.
you reminded of this story. so it was the last weekend before entering the real world of professional work. my buddies and i went up to the old campus for a game and to party. i had to leave early that weekend so when i left i had my buddy drop me off at my car. i had a heineken in my bag and was just like, "oh, here you can have this. little contribution for tonight's adventures." so he's like "sweet" and kept it. well he left it in his car's cupholder. so come monday when he reported for his first day of work at the nuclear power plant, the security guard at the front gate looks into the car and points at the bottle. "you can't bring that in here."
wonderful first impression haha
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Me and this kid named Marquis were best friends. We hung out every single day for 4 years. Then highschool came along, we got into different cliques or whatever. I got involved with the grateful dead stereotype kids, and he got involved with gangs and shit. We would still talk to eachother every now and then, but we would never hang out. 2 years later, I open up the newspaper, and the fool killed somebody. Him and 2 other kids killed this guy, and left him in the woods. Turns out, me and my friend were the people who saw the guy they killed in the woods.
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Right before I moved to the city, 3 years ago, I was at some hick party in the woods back home. I was having a good time, drinking, smoking and laughing it up with everyone. Then there was this girl who I had talked to a lot on MSN and shit for a couple years. She was always a goody goody, but had just recently started drinking, so a pretty bad drunk...
She called out the "coolest" guy at the party for being on a hockey team that gangbangs ugly sluts, saying he had AIDS, in front of everyone. Finally she goes outside, I talk to the bro like "I don't know what's with that crazy bitch..", and the party goes on. I then go outside and we somehow end up walking into the woods. We're sitting on a rock, just giggling and shit, and as soon as I lean in to kiss her, I uncontrollably rip the biggest fart.
I tried to blame it on her but she was totally grossed out and ran back to the party. I went to pass out in my friend's car. I wonder how many people she told.. The next time I saw her was when I came down that winter, it was a hockey game. She was there with her boyfriend, and my friend tripped me in front of them, and 200 other people.
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on the topic of farts, last week i woke up in the middle of the night and ripped the most prestigious loudest fart ever...completely forgetting my girlfriend was cuddling me from behind...so i pretend i'm passed out, while maintaining my giggling, as she shifted around probably scared for her life.
the next day i had the runs so i'm sitting on the can and decide i'd call my friend and shart on speaker phone and make him listen. so i call him up and say 'hey someone wants to say hi' and let it rip..i burst out laughing as hes yelling at me and i hang up..i finish up, still laughing, open the door and there she is...my girlfriend standing outside the door with a confused look on her face. "it's a man thang" i reminded her.
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on the topic of farts, last week i woke up in the middle of the night and ripped the most prestigious loudest fart ever...completely forgetting my girlfriend was cuddling me from behind...so i pretend i'm passed out, while maintaining my giggling, as she shifted around probably scared for her life.
the next day i had the runs so i'm sitting on the can and decide i'd call my friend and shart on speaker phone and make him listen. so i call him up and say 'hey someone wants to say hi' and let it rip..i burst out laughing as hes yelling at me and i hang up..i finish up, still laughing, open the door and there she is...my girlfriend standing outside the door with a confused look on her face. "it's a man thang" i reminded her.
i almost fell out of my chair laughing
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http://www.nydailynews.com/news/ny_crime/2007/09/12/2007-09-12_top_chef_contestant_in_bias_attack.html (http://www.nydailynews.com/news/ny_crime/2007/09/12/2007-09-
12_top_chef_contestant_in_bias_attack.html)
I told this story a while back here, but i feel its worth re-telling because of how fucking crazy and the shit storm it created. After a day of partying at a friends bbq, me and a shit load of friends decided to cap the night at a local bar. The bar tender there is generally cool about serving underage kids, so we were sitting there just drinking, and having a goodtime, then this crew of drunk dykes, i mean these chicks are full out lesbos. They come in causing a ruckus, knocking into us dancing on top of tables and shit, my friends girlfriend had had enough and told them to chill out. Well then one of these chicks who knew me and my two of my friends are underage, starts shouting at the bartender that we're underage and we need to leave or she's calling the cops. The shouting match between these bitches and my friends girlfriend moves outside, and once outside it goes to blows between these four bulldogs and my friends sister and girlfriend. After watching his little sister and girlfriend get stomped out by these chicks for long enough, my friend snaps and just straight cold clocks the bitch from top chef, she was out so cold she was literally snoring face first on the ground. After that happened we knew shit was bad so we started running, we had to run through peoples back yards and hopping fences, this couple saw us all running and were nice enough to let us stay on their back porch till shit died down.
A couple of days after the incident is when shit really hit the fan. My friend took a camera from one the chicks in the top chef crew when they were fighting, he felt guilty about it and went to the bar where the fight happened to return it. Well cops nabbed him the moment he showed up, arrest him and throw the book at him cause he's the only one at the moment they could pin anything on. You see the bitch from top chef and her lawyer we're trying to get real famous off this case, make it a almost matthew sheppard like deal. They went to the press and totally fabricated this story that we fought them cause they were being openly gay and we just didn't tolerate that, saying that we all chased them out of the bar and beat them. Well they nabbed our friend and being that he wouldn't rat anyone out, then pinned everything thing on him, they hit him up with every hate crime they could and he was now facing 15 to 25. This lawyer and bitch were really trying to ruin this kids life, just so they could get their 15 minutes of fame. After spending 7 months in county jail, the court dropped the case and let my friend go. My friend who clocked the chick and his girl left for texas, once shit started to come down and still have never returned. We sorta laugh about the situation now, but it changed a couple friends lifes drastically. Me and my close friends that were involved really didnt do anything, so we werent really worried, but the cops were looking to bring us in for questioning for a while so we had to law low for a little bit. Sorry about both my stories being ridiculously long, but they had to be to tell you the whole story.
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i use to watch ron popeil infomercials religiously. "set it and forget it!"
You and me, both. I've had nothing but broadcast television my whole life, so he was one of my big influences growing up... :-\
Kindergartedn GF, lived in a 2 family apt. complex in the hood, with some woods down the street. She lived downstairs I lived upstairs. We go down the street to play in the woods (which was like an acre) and she's like let's do what they do in the movies, so we pull our pants down to our ankles and start slobbering and tongue kissing. 2 minutes into it we're on the ground and I'm eating her pussy and shes licking my needle dick. I wish I could've flexed my cream treat on her, but I was only 5 or 6. We made out like that one more time til her dad caught us in the backyard...we werent allowed to be friends after that. I moved to the suburbs a month later.
I wish I had the swagger I had then, now...
(http://oculosis.com/maraby/tmp/pedobear.png)
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one night me and my friend were skateboarding in the street and doing satanic shit like that, and this wacky dude who called himself sexual jay came up to us was like 'wazzup ya'll i saw a guy do a 540 tailwhip on a scooter' and we were like oh shit tight. so then he was like 'yo my friends have a house around here, you should come over and drink beers wid us.' so we went over to their house and started drinking beers and playing video games and shit with these guys. they mentioned being in a band and we were like 'whatever,' they just seemed like normal cool dudes. ne waiz, it turns out they are these fucking assholes.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZFGQQOQCcpI
needless to say i was pretty disturbed.
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the video is no longer available..shit, i wanted to know who it was haha
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was it kottonmouth kings?
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was it kottonmouth kings?
needless to say i was pretty disturbed.
I'm guessing the answer is somewhere else in the post?
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the video is no longer available..shit, i wanted to know who it was haha
It wasn't removed, they just disabled embedding it, and... well I won't ruin the surprise; see for yourself. Just copy and paste...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZFGQQOQCcpI
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the video is no longer available..shit, i wanted to know who it was haha
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZFGQQOQCcpI
If i walked in and saw that lead singer I woulda showed myself out immediately, dude is suspect
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What should have been my first time having relations was interrupted by my utter disgust of the smell of fish. The girl was one of those girls that develop early so she had pretty big breasts and a full bush in 7th grade. I don't think anyone told the poor gal about hygiene. When she pulled her pants down, I gagged and immediately pulled my pants up, walked out the house and about mile back to my house. I still feel bad about leaving her hanging but it was like whoa down there. I was scared.
When I gave my virginity away, I stopped all proceedings to play Slayer's "Reign In Blood" album. This memory makes me feel like a certifiable weirdo. Who stops humping so they can listen to Slayer when their youthful innocence is being thrown away inside the great vortex of a teenage vagina? It seems like there might be something more important to think about.
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i was trying to find a ride to a party. the weather was kind of strange. i sat in an apartment pretending to be interested in a hermit crab lovingly labeled "baby." baby was trying to escape. everyone was talking about new york city. no one was actually from there. A junior raised in texas with faded blue hair inquired if i skated. He must have noticed the derelict state of my rowley shambles. I said yes. He was a rollerblader. he skated vert. at his prime he could do a backflip with a half twist. I glanced at baby and we both rolled our eyes. I ended up not going to the party. baby and i are now living in a villa in barbados. there are morning glorys caressing the arches of every window and the wisteria grows like endless dragon tails reaching toward a shattered sun.
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shit i have a couple storys...sorry in advance
Well before i even started drinking i was with my friend at the park in my neighborhood skating on the basketball courts and there was these 2 kids who hated my friend because he gave the kid a titty twister and got taken to court. so we leave and on our way back to our house we see 2 cops driving thru the neighborhood so curiosity set in and we started following the cops. long story short the kids mom called the cops on us and said we were drunk and i got pulled over on my bicycle. Ironically the first time i got drunk i ended up at the same park swinging naked and then running from the cops in nothing but a beanie.
the last time i got wasted was on vacation about 2 summers ago. i was stayin with my friends family and another family. i chugged chugged some rum and went to bed. i ended up pissing all over this 8 year old kid and ended up on somebody elses bed. my friends mom woke me up the tried wakin my up the next day and my junk was still hangin out. she put it up for me.
here is the first date story:
i was taking my now girlfriend out to eat for her birthday and i am her first serious boyfriend. so as im waiting for her to be done gettin ready(cuz you know they always make you wait), her dad calls me into the living room and i see his glock on the table and he continues to start questioning me on what im gonna do that night, how fast im gonna drive and what time im gonna have her home. i seriously almost shit my pants. no he is the collest dude ever and we often reflect on this event...im so gonna do this when i have kids
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since tucker max was mentioned already i might as well post this. http://www.tuckermax.com/stories.phtml (http://www.tuckermax.com/stories.phtml)
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About a year ago i was living out of my car/ couch surfing down in NC when i started hooking up with this girl Amy who was originally from Jersey. I'd met Amy through her boyfriend, who had given me a place to stay a few times, and when we first met i started fucking her sister. So i've got this total transient vibe going on in this town, pretty much scumming through, skating, shooting photos, drinking PBR, and fucking the girl friends of dudes who i didn't like. Now anyways, this dude was a total tool, decent enough in that he'd let you sleep on his couch, but dirtbag in that he'd get wasted and light my friends S10 on fire.
Anyhow, His girlfriend and i would hang out everyday, leave the bar together, shit like that, and he never did anything about it. His lack of aggression might have been because i was originally fucking the younger sister and he was truly oblivious or he really was the choad that everyone named Ray usually tends to be. Amy and i would have epic fuck sessions in her parents huge ass house that was built in a development that seemed to be designed for Northerners who'd made some dough and wanted to move south. Man, there were times when i'd be drinking beer with her dad and she'd come downstairs, grab my hand, lead me upstairs, and we'd fuck, only to return downstairs to watch more TV. Anyways, this went on for a few months.
One day around Xmas time she and i drove out to Asheville. On the way back i asked for some road head. This girl gave great blowjobs; complete with tongue ring, cock craving eyes, and swallowing. So all was said and done, she reapplied her lipstick and we were right about back in Salisbury. We pulled up to the bar and as soon as we walked in saw Ray. She went over and started making out with him. I walked over to the bar and the guy says "hey man, thanks for taking her to Asheville. I owe ya." He then orders me a beer and pays for my supper.
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Oh man.
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Holy shit, I think you're a cunt , but at the same time, I also want to be your friend. So many mixed emotions. In the end thats pretty bad ass.
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Yesterday I was at the local skatepark. Went out to a shop thats right outside to get some soda. Anyway, when I look in the window, i see a man standing there, right by the sodas. I walk in and I see that this man has a hammer in the one hand and some glittery christmas thingy in his other hand. He looks really stoned and stares at me. I find out that their out of sodas on 0.5litres bottles, so I leave. Later on the night he was standing outside the skatepark..
The dude freaked me out.
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you ever have one of those days that's just "ugh"? and it's like you can't even...you know what i mean? well, i was feeling that way on friday because i heard a cd that really bummed me out. so i went to the club to cheer myself up! and i waited in line for like an hour and they wouldn't let me in and it was like "great i'm really glad i waited in line for like an hour." so i went to another club with lower standards and they let me in. i was the coolest guy there!
it was totally crazy! the party was pumpin' and the music was loud! like really loud. like maybe too loud. so i tore up the floor for a minute and a half then i got self-conscience because i was dancing by myself. so i went up to this girl that was crazy hot. it was like she was so hot my face was melting. and i was like "hey you wanna uh...what's up?" and she couldn't hear me cause the music was so loud. and she was like "what?" and i was like "WHAT?" and she was like "who are you?" and i was like "some guy." and she was like "what do you want?" and i was like "nothing" and then i walked away.
and then i had some beers! and then i came back and i said "I WANNA DANCE!" and she said "no." and i said "ok. see ya later" it was totally crazy. that's when things got really weird and some stuff went down that i really don't remember. some how i ended up talking to two guys and one of the guys was a sexy lady! wait no it was just one lady. i could tell right away she was...i don't know. then we made out! maybe that part was a dream. so i'm talking to this girl and her name was Max which is weird because i knew a girl in high school named Max. and just that second i got texted by Max! not the one i was talking to,the one from my high school! ISN'T THAT CRAZY!
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you ever have one of those days that's just "ugh"? and it's like you can't even...you know what i mean? well, i was feeling that way on friday because i heard a cd that really bummed me out. so i went to the club to cheer myself up! and i waited in line for like an hour and they wouldn't let me in and it was like "great i'm really glad i waited in line for like an hour." so i went to another club with lower standards and they let me in. i was the coolest guy there!
it was totally crazy! the party was pumpin' and the music was loud! like really loud. like maybe too loud. so i tore up the floor for a minute and a half then i got self-conscience because i was dancing by myself. so i went up to this girl that was crazy hot. it was like she was so hot my face was melting. and i was like "hey you wanna uh...what's up?" and she couldn't hear me cause the music was so loud. and she was like "what?" and i was like "WHAT?" and she was like "who are you?" and i was like "some guy." and she was like "what do you want?" and i was like "nothing" and then i walked away.
and then i had some beers! and then i came back and i said "I WANNA DANCE!" and she said "no." and i said "ok. see ya later" it was totally crazy. that's when things got really weird and some stuff went down that i really don't remember. some how i ended up talking to two guys and one of the guys was a sexy lady! wait no it was just one lady. i could tell right away she was...i don't know. then we made out! maybe that part was a dream. so i'm talking to this girl and her name was Max which is weird because i knew a girl in high school named Max. and just that second i got texted by Max! not the one i was talking to,the one from my high school! ISN'T THAT CRAZY!
That's non-toxic and safe. you need toxic
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So my very first post has a crazy long story if you want to look it up its from the hooking up with co-workers thread anyways, this is the story of the last time I got laid (5months ago, I have lost my mojo)....
I was at a bar really drunk and was talking to some dame telling her how I have this fantasy that needs to be fulfilled which is to hook up with a milf. And this chick was a milf, so......
Months later my friends and I were drinking in the day on someone's boat on a lake in the summer, and when we were done, we were trying to figure out what to do, and they don't skate so they are kind of pussy and I was like, "Yo lets go to the fucking bar and get some grub!" So we go, and about a 1/2 hour into it, this chick strolls in and sits right next to me. I'm like word. She's fucking hot, and my friends were like word. So I start talking to her and shit, and eventually we were both like, "have we met?" I was all, "nah, I don't know, probably not, I'm no one you know." (nah I didn't say that) but she was all like the fucking light bulb turned on, "I met you at a bar and you said how you wanted to have sex with a milf!" I was all, "ohh shit, I'm fucked." But she was cool with it, and technically she ain't a milf cuz she has no kids, but 39 yrs old, and really fucking fine, she's short, brunette, tight, petite, and looks 23. Anyways I get to go back to her place and fuck her, I didn't last too long cuz she started fucking screaming, whoa. But she had a boyfriend in Cali, so no dice on a fuck buddy, or an affair, whatever, but I just called her and she wants to get together near the end of November, "I'll be gone till november, I'll be gone till november......"
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the phillies won the world series last night and my town went nuts. hundreds of people were partying at this corner and were just going nuts. went driving around and just honked at people it was great.
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About two years ago, I had just recently moved to another city, I came back to Vienna over the weekend to catch up with my friends and all that. So I hung out with some buddies, went skating my favourite park and even learned a new trick which got me very stoked. In the evening my ex girlfriend, we had only very recently broken up, called me and asked if I wanted to go to a bar or something and I said sure. We had a lot of drama shit when we broke up, but we never actually hated each others, so it was all good I thought. So I got on the Metro and drove to the bar and met her there. She and her best friend, who's also pretty hot were already a bit drunk and obviously on their best ways to slut mode. That may be a harsh description for it because they ae both nice girls, but you know what I mean. Being very suprised at how much attention I was getting, I thought it wouldn't hurt to pour down a few drinks and get on their level. They both had brandnew boyfriends at the time so I didn't expect anything to happen.
So I was sitting at the bar and some other girl named Linda, who was obviously some scene enemy or whatever of the two, talked to me and got all filrty and so forth. I wasn't really feeling Linda anyways but kept up the conversation for a bit and then my ex girlfriend and her friend wanted to mark their territory or some shit and hit on me really hard. They then proceeded to making out with each others or myself and touching my weewee. We went outside and they suggested to go to one of their places to "try something out".
Needless to say I was stoked.
After a short nightbus ride and a 5 minute walk we got there and went to the bedroom. The friend of my ex girlfriend was all over me at that time and thats when they started to discuss how they should do this whole thing and if they really should. While we were all getting naked I didn't say a word, because all that came to mind was "boobies" and I didn't want to throw over the already shaking Jenga tower of lust. We lay down in the bed and my ex went: "I can't do this, I feel bad for my new boyfriend", so we said thats cool, (I thought that's not cool.)
Long story short I ended up banging her friend, which was awesome, while my ex passed out naked next to us in bed.
Thats the closest I ever got to a threesome and I still feel bad about it cause it was actually real shitty of me. The friendship of the two girls also got a few cracks from that evening because my ex obviously still had some feelings for me. Took me two years to even tell the whole story in full detail, but I thought it might make a better story than that one time I broke into a zoo and fell into the wombat enclosures.
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this was back in junior year or something, i don't remember. after not eating all day and feeling like complete shit, i was ready to end a shitty saturday. my friends decided that it would be a good idea to go to my friend andrew's house and get fucked up. andrew's house was the epitome of the party house, everyone knows a dude who has a place like it. anyway, peer pressure worked. we get there, there are fucking DROVES of people already getting into it. i ate two massive california burritos and was drinking tequila straight, not even thinking, just raging in the goodness of the burritos and the fact that daft punk had everybody completely zany.
andrew had a little brother, probably 13 or 14, who was basically everybody's little brother. always trying to be cool with the older people, doing anything for attention. he's fat and silly looking. he's been drinking (against everyone's good sense) and is well on his way to being smashed. the typical party slut was there, and her name is ashley. back then she was like 18 or 19. pretty much everyone has had a taste and she's just laughable at this point, plus she always came in tow with tons of liquor. she is also extremely drunk.
i myself am beyond stoked, jamming to daft punk completely free of inhibition. i run upstairs to piss and accidentally walk in on andrew's little brother, his arm halfway down ashley's pants. ashley is moaning and the little brother gives me a thumbs up. i erupt in laughter and continue down the hall.
i wake up the next morning on the floor with my shirt off. i see it in the corner of the room and its covered in puke, and andrew's little brother is also covered in puke. somebody told me that before i passed out i blew chunks all over him and ashley as they slept (ashley is nowhere to be seen). also, the little brother shat himself in his sleep (i heard this later).
i had no ride home, so this guy i barely even know gives me a ride home in his ridiculous bumble bee-yellow hummer. i am shirtless and we do not speak.
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god damn this thread is amazing.
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i had no ride home, so this guy i barely even know gives me a ride home in his ridiculous bumble bee-yellow hummer. i am shirtless and we do not speak.
No positive memory could ever end this way.
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i got a couple of stories, but i'm not the best storyteller.
stuttgart has nighbusses on fridays and saturdays, which means the first bus is at 1.11, second one at 2.22 and the third at 3.33. i don't have to tell you, that i've always been one of these persons to take the last one. well, my bus was the n8. and the n8 had always these two guys, ivo and julian, both always drunk and funny as hell. if they were in the bus, everybody started to smoke and didn't care about other people inside, just behaving like teenagers. there were several beatings inside of the bus, most of the time involving julian, who started working out and was able to show his "talent" around.
one time, ivo stole this emergancy hammer thing and destroyed a window from outside, right after he left the bus
one time, i stole this ticket stemp thing and brought it to a friends home. i really don't know why i did.
one time, marc (my best friend), julian and me decided to get another beer from the gas station one busstop before. so we're outside of the bus and realized pretty soon that the station was closed. what do you do when you're drunk and want to get even more drunk, but you have no beer? yeah, you get angry ... i really don't know what our mission was, but we started to destroy things around. bikes, garbage cans, windows, fences. no police around, so nothing happened ... actually we had a great time. julian told us to come to his place, where he had some vodka and jäger. so we're i there with full drinks when his grandma (his whole familiy lives in this house) came up and wants us to be quiet. whatever. then julians girlfriend calls, they discuss for one minute and next thing is that julian throws his mobile out of the window ... the next morning continues like the last evening. julians mother calls him to tell that he can search himself a new place to stay - from tonight on. i slept on julians couch by the way. after that bummer we went straight to the supermarket, bought 2 bottles of wine, a bread and some ham. so it was 1pm and we're drunken again ... we went by bus to his cousin and smoked some weed. no exciting end to this story, but many little things happened. oh, we were in the news a couple of days later, they searchd for the people who were destroying in the neighboorhood that night ... they're stil searching
one time, marc, julian and chris decided after the n8 ride to break into this student league building. i wasn't in there but they stole two swords and a package of butter from the fridge. i think, there was something with a destroyed bus station but i can't remember the story.
one time, we met julian in the n8. he was covered with blood and his face was a little bit blue too. apparently, one of the door guys in front of a club didn't want to let him in ... like i told, julians way to tell somebody something is just to beat him up. but well, he failed this time.
ah, i got something else too, it's skaterelated. there was this underground skatepark in city center. i was one of the locals there, always leaving late. at this one evening this asian guy -about 40 years old and a bit drunk- comes in and tell's in english if somebody would do transfer on this obstacle the person gets something. next thing is he throws a 50 german mark bill (30 dollar?) on the ground. somebody was quick and got the money. we were pretty psyched. he did the same thing with another obstacle and decided to invite us to mcdonalds. that guy paid for 10 dirty skaters and whole meal. it was awesome. we questioned him about his life and whatnot ... he told us that he's earning his money with killing other persons, asian mafia style. who knows if he was a liar, but he paid about 150 dollars for everyhting. awesome.
i hope you can relate to this stuff a little.
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ive got a couple.
i went to a catholic high school about 4 years ago. we would have mass every wednesday morning in the gym before the day would start. the year was fresh and the school had just received a new priest to oversee mass and do whatever else it was that priests do in a school full of reluctant catholic children who drank and did more drugs than one would think possible. he was a real hellfire and brimstone kind of guy and all the kids fucking hated him.
anyways, my friends and i were at a sams club store (bulk retailer) on an open period being that we were seniors and got "open campus" privileges. we were there to get snacks and basically kill the time we had off, when we spotted a familiar figure in a checkout lane a few feet down.
it was our new school priest dressed in street clothes overseeing a conveyor belt full of hard liquor and booze. we thought this is truly too good to be true and didnt immediately make it obvious that we were there. it wasnt until the fat man turned around saw the three of us in our school uniforms staring right at him, then to the booze.
he immediately froze. eyes the size of dinner plates, fidgeting, the works. the cashier was basically done ringing him up, so in-between the hateful glares he shot at us, he quickly paid the bill and walked right past us with his bounty in full view (sams club doesnt have sacks or bags) the man was sweating bullets. you could tell this was the last thing he expected to happen and wished that it in fact, had never happened.
so we all kind of laugh about it, head back to school, tell some friends, etc.
the following class period were all three called into the office on separate occasions and were told that what we had viewed was, "not what it looked like" and the man was simply buying the liquor for a party with other priests from the dioceses. i immediately called bullshit so did one of my friends and we were threatened with expulsion if we talked about it any further. i then threatened my principal with his job and my parents boots up his ass if he ever tried to blackmail me for some shit again.
i left the office feeling rather happy with myself as i couldnt have cared less if i did get kicked out. not much is said about the event until the following wednesday when we were greeted by another priest at mass who told us that father fatty had "relocated" to another parish.
i later found out that the man was a raging alcoholic and had been passed around churches for the past five years because of this addiction and suicide attempts. the story further proves that the catholic church will do all the priest shuffling possible to keep their image squeaky clean. sad shit.
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i forgot the second one...
im sure youre all fairly aware of the serial killer/cannibal by the name of jeffrey dahmer.
he has a nephew who i used to skate with on a pretty regular basis. his mom divorced his dad and he took the name of his stepfather.
i havent seen the photo, but i believe theres actually a shot of him on jeffreys lap when he was super young.
creepy shit.
hes a cool kid though. no signs of serial murder and/or necrophilia, cannibalism, etc.