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Skateboarding => USELESS WOODEN TOY BANTER => Topic started by: ClassActSkate on December 03, 2018, 10:34:53 AM
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My personal favourite is "can you do a grind" even though I've clearly been grinding the entire time you've been watching me. Or doing a bunch of kickflips and then being asked if I can kickflip. I think the dumbest thing I've been asked repeatedly is "eeewwww why are you wearing tramp shoes. Can't you afford shoes without holes in?!"
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”Can you get laid doing that?”
”You can, but I can’t”
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how do you make it stick to your feet?
getting advice can be annoying too, such as just spin the board harder to get it all the way around for a 360 flip. it makes you wonder if the person skates or is just a know-it-all.
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"can y'all tabletop? can y'all helicopter?"
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"What's your best trick?"
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Why do you call it street skating? Why not urban skating?
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"Oh my god I love that one guy...what's his name? He just flies through the air and does twists and spins! Do you know who I'm talking about?"
"Tony Hawk?"
"THAT'S HIM! He's amazing!"
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Why do you call it street skating? Why not urban skating?
LOL I have actually been asked this one too
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how do you make it stick to your feet?
once a random pedestrian passing by saw someone do a fliptrick and was convinced we were using magnets in our shoes and looked bewildered when i explained that we weren't.
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"Land it and do that thing that guy on TV with the black guy does" was another good one for me recently. I'm hoping he meant Rob n Big...
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"can y'all tabletop? can y'all helicopter?"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o03Mu2-DvOg
25:25
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"why are you doint this?"
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One that always stands out to me was, "is there a track around here for that ?"
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how do you make it stick to your feet?
getting advice can be annoying too, such as just spin the board harder to get it all the way around for a 360 flip. it makes you wonder if the person skates or is just a know-it-all.
My mom asks me this anytime she sees a photo or video of me skateboarding.
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I had a guy ask me if i make my own wheels. I said no, I don't think anyone really makes their own wheels.
Well fuck me because this guy was baiting me. Turns out HE makes his own wheels for his longboard, HA! That sure showed me.
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"you need wax bro?"
in a skatepark like an hour after it rained
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How about the stupidest question a skater has asked you?
I bet the Onstar employee Muska asked where the handrails were was very puzzled.
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How about the stupidest question a skater has asked you?
I bet the Onstar employee Muska asked where the handrails were was very puzzled.
It's been almost 20 years and I still answer the phone with "Muska" at least once a month.
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“What is the stupidest question a non skater has ever asked you?”
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Does this thing get any bigger??
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How about the stupidest question a skater has asked you?
I bet the Onstar employee Muska asked where the handrails were was very puzzled.
It's been almost 20 years and I still answer the phone with "Muska" at least once a month.
If anyone else told me that I would doubt them with my entire being.
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Are you a "gangster sk8er" or "rocker sk8er"?
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"you can do all the rails and stuff?"
yep, all of them.
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Not so much of a question but more of a statement.
Long story short, recently had a guy argue with me that the shoes we carried weren’t real (in this case he was singling out the Bruin Max Vapor). When I asked what he meant by that, he said that because the sole is mostly foam that “they aren’t real shoes man, where can I get a fuckin’ real shoe with full rubber and leather”. He concluded his near ten minute argument with “bro have you ever skated in fitted boots? That’s a real shoe, those are what you should be skating in.”
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"Who's the best skateboarder???"
I hate this question.
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tie between "are you registered to vote" and "do you accept jesus christ as your personal saviour"
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how do you make it stick to your feet?
this. from people who are at least remotely interested.
"don't you have a track to ride?"
from people who are not interested.
"aren't you too old for this?"
from people who don't have any clue.
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Most stupid.
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The other day a drunk guy gave me shit for not being able to land a 360 on flat.
I told him they are hard. He told me that they are easy and that I was making excuses.
He then asked if he could see my board so that he would demonstrate. I obliged.
The nanosecond he put his weight on the board his feet went straight into the air and he hit the ground like a sack of potatoes. Luckily he didn’t crack his head open.
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My aunty told me skate shoes were a waste of money and then asked me why I don't skate in steelcap work boots because they would last longer
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"So that skateboarding thing, that's now past life I trust?"
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In 8th grade a kid accused me of being a poser by rubbing my shoes on the carpet rather than skating them.
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"Have you seen those electric ones?"
"You know there's a park in dowtown where you can skate?"
My favorite was when a kid on the street asked me to a kickflip mc twist.
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I've been asked if I'm Tony Hawk a few dozen times. In their defense, I am white, tall, skinny, with a big nose.
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In 8th grade a kid accused me of being a poser by rubbing my shoes on the carpet rather than skating them.
That kid sounds like an idiot, you’re supposed to use a belt sander.
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'are you good at skateboarding"
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My aunty told me skate shoes were a waste of money and then asked me why I don't skate in steelcap work boots because they would last longer
my dad this too. he also tried to give me a roll of industrial grade sandpaper to use as grip
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A co worker asked me “do you ever watch the skateboard stunts on tv?”
I don’t know if it’s really a stupid question but it’s super cringey for sure.
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"When you fart does it give you a boost?"
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“So you’re going to be the next Tony Hawk, huh?”
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Ive been asked plenty of questions like these, but more than once someone asked if the extra deck i had taped to my board was for extra strength. It had like 2 rolls of electric tape on it so I didn't have to worry about dropping the deck
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"I heard a song this morning, and I thought of you...…….Have you heard the song Skater Boy?" Wanted to jump off a fucking cliff
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whats your best trick?
how many skateboards do you have?
you still play with that thing?
i used to skate
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“Do you like Ryan Sheckler?”
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Maybe not the stupidest but the more annoying and frequent I get is "Did you ever broke your leg/any bones?", with that fucking shitty tone that sounds like they are thinking "i hope you get hurt right now".
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When some random homeless guy came up to me and asked me, "How many skaters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" I thought it was the stupidest question ever. However, once I was told the punch line I was pretty impressed and gave the dude a dollar.
Homeless guy, "Hey, I've got a joke for you."
Me, "What? Umm, ok?"
Homeless guy, "How many skaters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
Me, "I don't know."
Homeless guy, "Three. One to screw the lightbulb in, one to film it, and one to say, 'Dude, that was awesome.'"
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“Can you ride a half-pike?”
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"Are you good?"
"Can you triple kickflip?"
"Can you impossible?"
"DO A KICKFLIP!"
"You know Toby Hawk?"
and every now and then you get the occasional "Are you stupid?!" from a pissed pedestrian.
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How old are you?
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Not sure if this qualifies but about 20 years ago when I was 10 or 11 my mom ordered me a deck from the Ccs catalog as a surprise. The board didn't come gripped obviously and I had no idea how to grip it as I never really paid attention when getting new decks for some reason. I called Shannons which was a shop in the mall and put them on the phone with my mom. She busted out her tape measure and cut the grip out before sticking it on the board. Needless to say it turned out pretty bad and I got a lot of "did you put your griptape on like that on purpose?" After that every time someone got a new deck they would tell the shop nah don't grip it I'ma let Jason's mom grip my shit as the running joke. God bless my mom for trying though.
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Did you vote today? No bitch I was out SKATING
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“Why do you still skate?”
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My aunty told me skate shoes were a waste of money and then asked me why I don't skate in steelcap work boots because they would last longer
my dad this too. he also tried to give me a roll of industrial grade sandpaper to use as grip
I'm pretty sure that's actually what Andy Mac does, he said something about buying his shit from home depot in an interview a while back
"Why don't you just go to the skatepark?"
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Hey have you seen this guy?
*pulls out phone and shows you this:*
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1U-cgn3cEGA
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“Why aren’t you wearing a helmet?”
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"You any good at that?"
I'm obviously not. You've been watching me, you should be able to pick that up on your own without having any skateboard knowledge.
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A carload of out of town bloods pulled up and asked me where the crips were.
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A carload of out of town bloods pulled up and asked me where the crips were.
maybe they wanted to broker a peace treaty
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"Have you seen those electric ones?"
The story of 2018
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As much as I hate Dyrdek, I always thought his drunken story telling of a dumb question from a non-skater was funny.
"I stomped the honk."
https://vimeo.com/411217
26:25
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Can I see your resume ?
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“Didn’t you just buy a board?”
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Are you a "gangster sk8er" or "rocker sk8er"?
So fresh or hesh?
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"How many skaters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
just one but it will take them 200 attempts
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Any time I watch skate videos in my living room my one roommate who doesn’t skate always asks why I “Dont do what they do”. Especially when I watched the GX video. I know its mostly sarcastic on his side but he thinks that its gunna make me self conscious or something. I finally told him that I dont get paid to skateboard and that I dont want to die.
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Did you mean to do that?
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Saw a dude at Lennox ledges yell at a bunch of little white skateboarders wearing beanies in the summertime “what y’all doin up here?? And why all y’all wearin Skellys it’s july.”
Probably the best thing I’ve ever heard honestly.
Free max b
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Favorite one was a drunk girl asking my friend:
"what's harder, like going or the board?"
After asking for clarification, she just repeated that exact line 3-4 times. Needless to say it has stuck around as a long running joke.
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Any time I watch skate videos in my living room my one roommate who doesn’t skate always asks why I “Dont do what they do”. Especially when I watched the GX video. I know its mostly sarcastic on his side but he thinks that its gunna make me self conscious or something. I finally told him that I dont get paid to skateboard and that I dont want to die.
Yeah. That can be a weird one. My wife will occasionally watch a video with me while she's on her laptop. She likes a lot of the music. This led her to believe that's how people skate. That they make insanely difficult tricks first try every time.
We went to our local park on a weekday lunch date a bit back. No one was there. She brought her rollerblades. She does the rollerblade thing for fun and fitness, not the extreme type shit. She was amazed I wasn't landing every trick first try or as good as the guys in videos.
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Depending on the age: "dont you have work to do?" or "dont you have to learn for school?"
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Depending on the age: "dont you have work to do?" or "dont you have to learn for school?"
On a similar note, "aren't you to old for that now?" NO I'M FUCKEN NOT! FUCK OFF GRANDMA!
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After reading this a few more questions came to mind
"Do you longboard as well ?"
"You like shaun white right ?
"Hey check out this cool video (video of Richie Jackson posted on my facebook wall)"
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"Isn't that a kid thing ?"
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“Why aren’t you wearing a helmet? That fedora is not gonna save your head against the pavement!”
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This guy introduced himself to me as Tony Snow.
(http://thenypost.files.wordpress.com/2014/02/021714boxing39matt_89098255.jpg?quality=90&strip=all&w=618&h=410&crop=1)
He has the thickest Brooklyn accent ever. We are chatting one morning and he asks me "Skateboardin' huh. How is it?"... I respond confused "how is skateboarding in New York?"... "Nah, skateboardin', you know, how is it?"
I didn't know how to respond. It actually was far from the dumbest question I've been asked. Very broad, open, and philosophical.
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"Hey check out this cool video (video of Richie Jackson posted on my facebook wall)"
The idea of Richie "The Featch" Jackson personally posting one of his own videos to your facebook wall made me giggle.
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Can I see your resume ?
2018
-Won Thrasher Magazine's Skater of the Year by doing a single nollie flip
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Not sure if this qualifies but about 20 years ago when I was 10 or 11 my mom ordered me a deck from the Ccs catalog as a surprise. The board didn't come gripped obviously and I had no idea how to grip it as I never really paid attention when getting new decks for some reason. I called Shannons which was a shop in the mall and put them on the phone with my mom. She busted out her tape measure and cut the grip out before sticking it on the board. Needless to say it turned out pretty bad and I got a lot of "did you put your griptape on like that on purpose?" After that every time someone got a new deck they would tell the shop nah don't grip it I'ma let Jason's mom grip my shit as the running joke. God bless my mom for trying though.
You’ve got a good mom.
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i dont remember if a friend told me or i read it on here, either it wasn't directed at me but its amazing!
a crew of skaters were lurking and a dude walked by and asked if an avril lavine concert was on that night!
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“So, we’ve learned our lesson right?”
Old co-workers and boss implying that because I rolled my ankle once I wasn’t going to skate ever again.
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when are you gonn grow up and get outta this sk8er phase?
once had a doctor tell me that it was time to grow up as well. im only 22
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"Whad you say faggot"?
Which is a stupid question because I quite clearly, and with ample volume, asked him if he could "move his fat fucking ass out of the fucking way."?
It was a yes or no question.
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"How many skaters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?"
just one but it will take them 200 attempts
Just one but it will take infinite final attempts
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"Do you compete?"
"Are you filming for youtube?"
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Depending on the age: "dont you have work to do?" or "dont you have to learn for school?"
On a similar note, "aren't you to old for that now?" NO I'M FUCKEN NOT! FUCK OFF GRANDMA!
I kinda miss the days when people said this. Doesn't seem to happen now as skating's become more mainstream
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"Do you compete?"
"Are you filming for youtube?"
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Depending on the age: "dont you have work to do?" or "dont you have to learn for school?"
On a similar note, "aren't you to old for that now?" NO I'M FUCKEN NOT! FUCK OFF GRANDMA!
I kinda miss the days when people said this. Doesn't seem to happen now as skating's become more mainstream
Not here (Italy), I get this at least once a month.
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in my first 5 years of skating my dad always asked me why I don't craft a deck by myself. yes dad I'm 14.. just gimme old wood and a saw. ^^
also: "don't you know how loud that is?!" mostly from a person which lives near a main street 😂
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*does a kickflip*
Can you do a kickflip?
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"Are you ok?"
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Any time I watch skate videos in my living room my one roommate who doesn’t skate always asks why I “Dont do what they do”. Especially when I watched the GX video. I know its mostly sarcastic on his side but he thinks that its gunna make me self conscious or something. I finally told him that I dont get paid to skateboard and that I dont want to die.
Yeah. That can be a weird one. My wife will occasionally watch a video with me while she's on her laptop. She likes a lot of the music. This led her to believe that's how people skate. That they make insanely difficult tricks first try every time.
We went to our local park on a weekday lunch date a bit back. No one was there. She brought her rollerblades. She does the rollerblade thing for fun and fitness, not the extreme type shit. She was amazed I wasn't landing every trick first try or as good as the guys in videos.
It's the porno effect.
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can you do a 900
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Special note: Have you seen God??
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“Yoo, let me borrow 10$”.
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Expand Quote
Expand Quote
Any time I watch skate videos in my living room my one roommate who doesn’t skate always asks why I “Dont do what they do”. Especially when I watched the GX video. I know its mostly sarcastic on his side but he thinks that its gunna make me self conscious or something. I finally told him that I dont get paid to skateboard and that I dont want to die.
Yeah. That can be a weird one. My wife will occasionally watch a video with me while she's on her laptop. She likes a lot of the music. This led her to believe that's how people skate. That they make insanely difficult tricks first try every time.
We went to our local park on a weekday lunch date a bit back. No one was there. She brought her rollerblades. She does the rollerblade thing for fun and fitness, not the extreme type shit. She was amazed I wasn't landing every trick first try or as good as the guys in videos.
It's the porno effect.
Huh, we do try turning tricks..
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When I first got into skating, my friend who skated when he was younger insisted on giving me some "help". We had this conversation.
"So what tricks can you do?"
"Uhh...I can 180."
"Cool, show me."
does a kickturn
Not a question, but still made me want to throw myself off a cliff.
Also:
"Ohh, are you like Roy Purdy?"
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"how does it stay with you"
"arent there parks for this"
"where do you get your abecs" and "whos got the best abecs"
"do a superdude"
"do you play skate 3"
was skating a carpark recently bunch of us and some random like 14 year old girls came up and asked us for a go of our boards and obviously everyone said no and apparently thats us being "spiteful" bitch keep your wet soggy fucking airmax away from my grip, and also "what do you get out of being in a carpark doing this" - girls walking around in the rain all night
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Ate shit skating like 10 days ago, smashed my face into the ground and broke two of my front teeth in half above the nerves and split my lip. Was in a lot of pain, and of course it was a sunday so my regular dentist wasn't open, so I had to go to an emergency dentist that was open.
The dentist was a woman and she was super nice, but they didn't accept the insurance I have so they weren't able to operate or whatever. She basically bonded my teeth with some temporary stuff, prescribed me some pain meds, and numbed my mouth until the next day when I could go in to my other dentist.
She did tell me I was going to end up having to get implants, or possibly root canals and crowns, but either way said "you'll definitely have to wear a mouth guard when you skate from now on though, as either implants or crowns can break out again really easily." Then she asked me, "do you think you could attach it to your helmet when youre not skating?"
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"Who's the best skateboarder???"
I hate this question.
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"Oh so you skateboard. Are you good?"
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asked us for a go of our boards
I've never understood this. i cant imagine going up to people playing hockey and asking to use their stick for a few or walking up to someone listening to music and asking if i try their headphones.
"Hey artist dude- mind if i give your brushes and canvas a shot? I used to love fingerprinting when i was a kid"
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I like when my boss asks me what the point of watching a skate video is
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“Have you ever lost control of your board during a kickflip and gotten the tip of your dick sliced off?”
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“Have you ever lost control of your board during a kickflip and gotten the tip of your dick sliced off?”
yes, multiple times
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“Have you ever lost control of your board during a kickflip and gotten the tip of your dick sliced off?”
yes, multiple times
like a deli slicer
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“Have you ever lost control of your board during a kickflip and gotten the tip of your dick sliced off?”
Usually happens when I hardflip.
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"Do you compete?"
"Are you filming for youtube?"
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Depending on the age: "dont you have work to do?" or "dont you have to learn for school?"
On a similar note, "aren't you to old for that now?" NO I'M FUCKEN NOT! FUCK OFF GRANDMA!
I kinda miss the days when people said this. Doesn't seem to happen now as skating's become more mainstream
i felt so crazy in "roll up" when that kid asks if they're filming for thrasher
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Sorry if it’s already been said, but...
“What’s your best trick?”
Like if I told you, and then I did one for you, you wouldn’t know whether I did a Hardflip, or a Shuv It
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"how do you stop?"