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Skateboarding => USELESS WOODEN TOY BANTER => Topic started by: theSketchLord on December 09, 2020, 06:40:23 AM
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If you could organize an illegal no holds barred/anything goes back alley fight between two pro's who would it be and what do you think the outcome would be?
Bonus for a interesting scenario (handcuffed together with a Stanley knife superglued to their free hand).
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Nyjah and David Loy. Box cutters taped to their hands both dosed with rufies. But just enough to slow them down and make them groggy not pass out. Slow motion fight to the death
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Steve Berra vrs eric koston.
Whomever wins has to do a frontside flip first try or the get shot by 12 gauge bird shot from 30 yards until death.
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Duane Peters versus Duane Peters
Throw in a bag of H for extra thrill
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jake snelling vs andy roy
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OG Mike V vs. Prawn Powers
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Carroll and MJ
:(
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Pine vs Jaws wearing thongs while only armed with ping pong paddles.
I think Jaws wins this handily, or at least dominates the majority of the bout. Pine would try to exploit Jaw’s inward bent knees by keeping the attack low and to the outside with quick successive paddle jabs. The fight would be a visual atrocity in every sense conceivable sense. Lots of pale white spindly emancipated flailing.
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Jon Dickson vs James Hardy. I like them both, but seems like it'd be a good scrap.
Ben Nordberg vs Dustin Henry, high potential for slap-fight silliness.
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Nick Merlino vs Andrew Langi fight to the death. Winner walks away with the other’s laptop.
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Jamie Thomas vs Chad Muska would be interesting, any era.
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jereme rogers vs. j. cassanova
jereme only gets to use his weird safety hands that he exercised while skating and j. has access to a team of those hood-rats from his videos.
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Seriously good thread I’ll likely post in multiple times. There’s already been some great ones and I expect many more to come.
I’ll start with
Biebel Vs. Daryl
Although I don’t believe Biebel is overly tough and is mostly bloated, I believe he’s much tougher than Daryl’s poor ex. Give him a taste of his own medicine. Daryl’s ex and her entire family get boot em’ duty.
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Will Marshall vs. Neen Williams. It would just be funny to see these two dudes duke it out
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Prime Sheffey vs prime Mike V.
Putting all of Bill Gates money on Sheffey
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Weckingball and Biebel?
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Hair metal Greco vs John Shanahan
because it would be the most confusing and entertaining thing to witness.
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Primo vs Emmers
Loser gets kicked off the Hamels flow squad.
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nora vs lizzie
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richie jackson vs dan plunkett. only filmed fisheye
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Daewon vs Rodney
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Steve Berra vrs eric koston.
Whomever wins has to do a frontside flip first try or the get shot by 12 gauge bird shot from 30 yards until death.
Holy shit..
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Foy vs Villani
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Foy vs Villani
heavyweight class
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mikey taylor vs. jamal smith
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T-Funk vs. Wee-man
Battle of the vertically challenged
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nora vs lizzie
Winner receives the color purple
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mikey taylor vs. jamal smith
Jamal would put his arms out and spin on him. Easy win for Jamal
Riley Hawk VS Tony Hawk
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Who's a good candidate to step to Bam in the pit?
(https://assets.rbl.ms/274493/980x.jpg)
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mikey taylor vs. jamal smith
Riley Hawk VS Tony Hawk
Riley: you where seppose to bring balance to the core brands! Not join the corpo
Tony: you underestimate the power corpo money!
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Robert Neal vs covid 19
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Tom penny vrs Chad muska would be pretty epic jazz hands until someone starved to death
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Who's a good candidate to step to Bam in the pit?
(https://assets.rbl.ms/274493/980x.jpg)
Sobriety
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Jon Comer vs Lefty
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Jon Comer vs Lefty
Jon comer is dead you fool.
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Hosoi Vs Andy Roy
A battle between heaven & hell(ride)
Prison rules. Which ex-con takes it? Is God truly shining down upon the Holmes?
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Andy MacDonald vs. Ben Kadow
Billy Marks vs. Nick Merlino
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Mike V vs the Weckingball. there can only be one Jersey strongman. i sometimes wonder if Mike V's modern sensitive iteration isn't in deference to Weck's ascendancy?
Sheffey vs Gershon. they're both short and pack a mean wallop.
Ricky O vs Lil Stevie. dirty ghetto kid vs king of the burbs. hallelujah, holler back.
J Casanova vs Black Ninja. there can only be one musical wigger on my timeline.
Wenning vs Pops, each armed w/ a wrench. blue collar bloodbath.
Pancho vs Weeman.
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ed templeton vs. a privacy lawyer.
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Prime Sheffey vs prime Mike V.
Putting all of Bill Gates money on Sheffey
I think watching 90's Sheffey vs Nazi Jason Jessee would be more entertaining. 1010 doesn't have a chance, but I just want to see him get wrecked.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHjHXpFiegA
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Jon comer is dead you fool.
Well that's a fucking bummer, Idk how I missed that one.
Lefty wins by default I guess.
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Chaddd vs Peddy Fondler
Winner gets a lifetime supply of Punisher skate goods
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Jon comer is dead you fool.
Well that's a fucking bummer, Idk how I missed that one.
Lefty wins by default I guess.
Happened last December not sure the cause of death though.
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Skategoat vs Shredmaster Keith
Loser must begin identifying by their government name.
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Gator and CK1, each get their respective weapon.....
oof
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Jerry Fowler Vs Ethan Fowler
Bill pepper Vs Joey Pepper
Tom Knox Vs Tom Knox
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Dill vs. Howard
Carroll vs. AVE
Winner is the best owner of a two board brand company.
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Jerry Fowler Vs Ethan Fowler
Bill pepper Vs Joey Pepper
Tom Knox Vs Tom Knox
The Tom Knox bout will be the shortest one in history.
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Chaddd vs Peddy Fondler
Winner gets a lifetime supply of Punisher skate goods
(https://www.slapmagazine.com/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=107013.0;attach=20329;image)
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Steve Berra vrs eric koston.
Whomever wins has to do a frontside flip first try or the get shot by 12 gauge bird shot from 30 yards until death.
I can maybe see Steve Berra winning the fight but not able to frontside flip.
I'd say Koston lands a sketchy but acceptable frontside flip first T.
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Heath Kirchart Versus Weckingball
I just feel like this would be a good fight. Heath definitely knows how to throw and take a few punches. Weck also has experience by beating up the homeless.
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Oyola vs Puleo
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ed templeton vs. a privacy lawyer.
Lol
I'd also like to see Nora v Lizzie, each armed with their purple colorways outfitted with the latest Adidas/Van's tech as well as spikes and studs for battle.
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Cher Strauberry vs Leo Baker
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Aaron Kyro vs John Hill
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Deerman of darkwoods vs. Stu Graham slashing each other with. shank.
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Heath vs Hardy weapons: a chair, duct tape, flour, making up with a hug <3
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Antwuon Dixon vs. Steven Cales
Live stream of them playing internet chess.
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Chet Childress vs Chet Thomas
Cher vs Corey Duffel
Duane Peters vs Ben Kadow
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McClung battle royale
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Chase Gabor vs Yoon, with flat head/phillips head screwdrivers duct taped to both hands
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Borra and Mikey Taylor must battle it out in a back alley academic decathlon. .
The best part is that no matter who wins, they'd both lose because it would show that they are both completely incompetent, despite their insane arrogance.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTc--4jz0GQ
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sinner vs fetty potter
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Two of my favorite skaters but I gotta say it...
Kelch vs. Oyola
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Felipe Gustavo vs. Leticia's friendzone
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Bo Turner vs Biebel
I win either way
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Nyjah Huston vs Jeremy rogers
I guess there’s an actual beef there and Rogers has challenged him to a boxing match/game of skate ppv winner gets the profits
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Nyjah Huston vs Jeremy rogers
I guess there’s an actual beef there and Rogers has challenged him to a boxing match/game of skate ppv winner gets the profits
I'd pay to watch this one.
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Two of my favorite skaters but I gotta say it...
Kelch vs. Oyola
This is great and hurts my feelings at the same time
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Jagger Eaton vs Torey Pudwill. Windmilling is the only allowed move.
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Shane heyl vs jerry gurney
Gangster sk8r vs rocker sk8r battle for the ages
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Elijah Berle circa August 2nd of 2018 vs. that gnawing, perpetually burning desire for submission that can only be achieved via male chastity.
I suppose we already know the outcome of that fight, but still.
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Felipe Gustavo vs. Leticia's friendzone
Bwahaha. Damn, what are the weapons of choice though? Gustavo gets poisonous-dart heart-eye emoji's and Leticia's ta's squirt boards bigger than 7.25?
EDIT: tell me I didn't kill this thread, :'(, best one in a while
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Murdy vs Alexis LeCroix cat
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jereme rogers vs. j. cassanova
jereme only gets to use his weird safety hands that he exercised while skating and j. has access to a team of those hood-rats from his videos.
J.cass was in my area this pst summer and paid my homie 100 bucks to film a music video, then later went to their house with a xylophone he bought for 300 bucks, got super fucked up and ended up having the people there trying to fight him
Moral of the story the hood rats probably wouldn’t help him
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Expand Quote
jereme rogers vs. j. cassanova
jereme only gets to use his weird safety hands that he exercised while skating and j. has access to a team of those hood-rats from his videos.
J.cass was in my area this pst summer and paid my homie 100 bucks to film a music video, then later went to their house with a xylophone he bought for 300 bucks, got super fucked up and ended up having the people there trying to fight him
Moral of the story the hood rats probably wouldn’t help him
Just like his rap career...
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stevie williams slapping mark sucuk in a backstreet but getting beaten up by a random passenger instead.
all while getting filmed by biebel who is coincidentally passing by on his bike