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General Discussion => WHATEVER => Topic started by: roulette on September 15, 2006, 05:43:42 PM
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any good ones?
what was wrong with steve irwins sunscreen?
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It didnt protect him from harmful rays yea
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Q. Why was the condom flying around the room?
A. Because it got pissed off
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This thread is a joke.
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(http://img174.imageshack.us/img174/2342/jokesch1.jpg) (http://imageshack.us)
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This thread is a joke.
zing
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women's rights
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I was thinking of coming up with a good joke but that i opened up this thread
and voila
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did you guys hear about the corduroy pillow?
no? that's weird. it's making headlines.
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a+
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what's the definition of trust?
two cannibals 69'ing.
stolen from ATMurrell.
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fred savage
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fred savage
stop fucking posting
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stop fucking posting
cry
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cry
nice edit fag,
get out
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nice edit fag,
get out
www.thepounder.com
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How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
You mean you don't know?! god...
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how many moveon.org petitions does it take to change a lightbulb?
none moveon.org petitions don't change anything.
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How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
You mean you don't know?! god...
hahah thats a good one
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did you guys hear about the corduroy pillow?
no? that's weird. it's making headlines.
]
h.o.l.y. s.h.i.t.
for whatever reason this just made me nearly fall out of my chair laughing
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Expand Quote
did you guys hear about the corduroy pillow?
no? that's weird. it's making headlines.
h.o.l.y. s.h.i.t.
for whatever reason this just made me nearly fall out of my chair laughing
my girlfriend was also very amazed by that one.
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give up roulette
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HAHAAHA, Sill havent been laid huh?
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How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
You mean you don't know?! god...
wonderful...
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Expand Quote
How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
You mean you don't know?! god...
hahah thats a good one
holy shit you just gave props to turkeylurkey
die
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turkey is chill
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i'm about to eat a turkeylurkey pot pie
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i'm about to eat a turkeylurkey pot pie
I'm pretty sure that the way you focus your hate on me makes some types like me more.
but heres some shit you can make fun of me for.
I made this joke up. If it has been told before (which one joke I thought I made up was) then it is a coincidence.
Why did the triceratops go to the dermatologist?
It was covered in dino-sores!
That joke just plain sucks, but I love it anywayhow many moveon.org petitions does it take to change a lightbulb?
none moveon.org petitions don't change anything.
That joke is rad.
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any good ones?
what was wrong with steve irwins sunscreen?
It didnt protect him from harmful rays yea
ahaha
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What has 6 feet and 7 teeth?
The front row at a Willie Nelson concert.
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What has 6 feet and 7 teeth?
The front row at a Willie Nelson concert.
insert a differant country artist becuase are you serious willie nelson was the best you could come up with?
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Why cant Stevie Wonder read?
Because hes black.
Im not racist but that was a pretty good one.
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What has 6 arms and sucks?
Def Leppard
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What has 6 arms and sucks?
Def Leppard
wouldn't it be 9 arms? 5 members minus one arm.
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Why cant Stevie Wonder read?
Because hes black.
Im not racist but that was a pretty good one.
no it wasn't you suck
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i have lots of jokes but they are inappropriate for this kind of liberal hippie scum free-thinking trash crowd we have here
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i have lots of jokes but they are inappropriate for this kind of liberal hippie scum free-thinking trash crowd we have here
save em fuckbag, no one cares about the shit you spew on here
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Expand Quote
What has 6 arms and sucks?
Def Leppard
wouldn't it be 9 arms? 5 members minus one arm.
Idon't know Def Leppard too well i jus heard the joke and thought it was funny.
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that is kinda funny
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Three black dudes die and go to heaven and arrive at the Golden Gates. The gate keeper looks at them and tells to wait. The gate keeper goes to God and tells him there are three black fellas at the Golden Gates waiting to get in, God tells him we do not discriminate anyone so go let them in. The gate keeper leaves and comes back two minutes later and says, "Their gone!" God says, " The Black fellas?", the gate keeper says," No, the gates!"
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here's one to say when you want someone to stop talking to you:
what's the difference between a dead infant and a bathtub?
you cant fuck a bathtub.
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you've all heard this one
whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a cadillac seville?
i don't have a cadillac seville in my garage
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Oh no, I laughed about that last one.
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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. Feminists can't change shit.
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^^YEA
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if russian astronauts are called cosmonauts and chinese astronauts are called taikonauts, what do you call french astronauts?
"assholes"
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i think dead baby jokes are dumb but i'll unload a couple.
what's the differance between a truck full of dead babies and a truck full of bowling balls?
you can't unload bowling balls with a pitchfork.
what do you call a baby with it's hands and feet bound in a swimming pool?
Bob.
how do you stop a baby from falling through a manhole?
stick a javelin through it's head.
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What's a deadhead say when he doesnt have any drugs?
This music sucks!
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i think dead baby jokes are dumb but i'll unload a couple.
what's the differance between a truck full of dead babies and a truck full of bowling balls?
you can't unload bowling balls with a pitchfork.
what do you call a baby with it's hands and feet bound in a swimming pool?
Bob.
how do you stop a baby from falling through a manhole?
stick a javelin through it's head.
How do you make a dead baby float?
Take your foot off it's head.
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whats the best part about fucking a 5 year old?
wiping the blood from your clown suit
whats the best part about fucking a pregnant lady?
getting head from the fetus
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what's the best part about fucking a 2 year old?
hearing the pelvic bone crack.
alright let's seriously shy away from the gross out jokes because they're lame.
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alright let's seriously shy away from the gross out jokes because they're lame.
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whats the best part about having sex with 28 year olds?
There is 20 of them.
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yeah that joke doesn't transfer well into type
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Did you hear Willie Nelson died? He was playing On the Road Again!
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Here's a good one. http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=90037041
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Expand Quote
i think dead baby jokes are dumb but i'll unload a couple.
what's the differance between a truck full of dead babies and a truck full of bowling balls?
you can't unload bowling balls with a pitchfork.
what do you call a baby with it's hands and feet bound in a swimming pool?
Bob.
how do you stop a baby from falling through a manhole?
stick a javelin through it's head.
Take your foot off it's head.
I heard a different version of that one:
How do you make a baby float?
two scoops of baby and some rootbeer.
What do you get when you throw a baby down a set of stairs?
I know that I get an erection.How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. Feminists can't change shit.
I heard a different verseion of that one too.
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
THATS NOT FUNNY.
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Knock knock. Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mop who?
It's lame but i like it.
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How can a red neck tell here daughter is on the rag?
She can taste it on her sons dick...
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laaaame. the last funny dead infant joke was the one with the bowling balls.
(http://img232.imageshack.us/img232/7053/capriceik9.jpg/)
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Here's a good one. http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=90037041
i looked at your avatar and realized that that school is in teh city i live in.
yeah biggest joke ever. who intentianally buys an element.
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How many emos does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Fuck 'em, they can cry in the dark. hardy har har.
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This guys wife is in a coma and he gets a call from the doctor telling him to come down to the hospital right away. The doctor explains that they had a spike in brain activity earlier that day while bathing his wife. Apparently she reacted when they were cleaning out her clam. The doctor then told the man, "sir, we think that if we could generate enough brain activity she might come out of the coma." The man replied "just let me know what I can do, I'll do anything." The doctor said "OK sir, it's a bit unorthadox but we need you to go and have oral sex with your wife." The man agreed and went to his wife down the hall.
After the man was gone for about 5 mins or so, his wifes vitals hit the floor. She seemed to be dying. The doctor yelled to a nurse, go check on the patient in room 420, why is she dying? The nurse replied "looks to me like she is choking..."
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HAHAHAHAHA
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Knock knock. Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mop who?
It's lame but i like it.
ahahaaahaha
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This guys wife is in a coma and he gets a call from the doctor telling him to come down to the hospital right away. The doctor explains that they had a spike in brain activity earlier that day while bathing his wife. Apparently she reacted when they were cleaning out her clam. The doctor then told the man, "sir, we think that if we could generate enough brain activity she might come out of the coma." The man replied "just let me know what I can do, I'll do anything." The doctor said "OK sir, it's a bit unorthadox but we need you to go and have oral sex with your wife." The man agreed and went to his wife down the hall.
After the man was gone for about 5 mins or so, his wifes vitals hit the floor. She seemed to be dying. The doctor yelled to a nurse, go check on the patient in room 420, why is she dying? The nurse replied "looks to me like she is choking..."
A+
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How many chauvinist does it take to screw in a light blub?
None, if that dumb bitch can't figure out how to change a light bulb let here do the dishes in the dark.
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Why are there only 10,000 aborigines are at Ayers Rock?
cause there was only one holden to bring them there...
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Why are there only 10,000 aborigines are at Ayers Rock?
cause there was only one holden to bring them there...
This is like an Aussified version of a racist joke about mexican people in the states. Wierd
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Exactly, I know there are a lot of Aussies on here and figured at least one would get it. I actually heard it when I lived there and thought it was really funny for some reason.
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a rock falls on a miner in a mine. what happens?
A MINOR B FLAT
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH OMG HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
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Why are there only 10,000 aborigines are at Ayers Rock?
cause there was only one holden to bring them there...
not really funny. would have been better if the car was a falcon
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I was going to use a ute but then I would have had to change it to "why is there only 20,000..."
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a rock falls on a miner in a mine. what happens?
A MINOR B FLAT
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH OMG HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
omg. holy shit.
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Okay, I've got one...
a rock falls on a miner in a mine. what happens?
A MINOR B FLAT
BWAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!
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yeah that joke doesn't transfer well into type
shit
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what's brown and sits in the corner of an attic?
the diarrhea of Ann Frank.
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Three guys stayed at a skiing lodge, but there was only one room with one bed so they shared it. During the night the guy on the left wakes up saying he had a dream where he got a hand job. Incredulously the guy on the right says that he also had a dream that he got a hand job. The guy in the middle says he dreamed that he was skiing.
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what's brown and sits in the corner of an attic?
the diarrhea of Ann Frank.
simply amazing
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Three guys stayed at a skiing lodge, but there was only one room with one bed so they shared it. During the night the guy on the left wakes up saying he had a dream where he got a hand job. Incredulously the guy on the right says that he also had a dream that he got a hand job. The guy in the middle says he dreamed that he was skiing.
haha
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this guy is walking through the jungle and gets caught in some quicksand. He is sinking fast and can't get out. Another guy comes walking along and the man yells out
"hey you, please help me. I will do anything, please just help me."
"Suck my dick???"
"Hell no, I'd rather die"
"ok, later..."
a few minutes later the man is chest deep in the quick sand and another man comes along and he again ask
"hey you, please help me. I will do anything, please just help me."
"hmmmmm, OK, how about sucking my dick?"
"what the fuck is going on here, no fuck off. I would rather die..."
a few minutes later the man is up to his chin and really fearing for his life. He begins to panic and spots another man walking up out of the conner of his eye. he yells to the man:
"hey, you! over here! please, please help me. I am about to die here, I will do anything if you help me. I will even suck your dick, just please help me."
"FUCKING FAGGOT" the man replied as he stomped on the mans head into the quicksand...
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ok guys i have a cheesy joke.
what do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you?
NACHO CHEESE!
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why is Advil white?
because you want it to work.
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I just flew in... and ... boy are my arms tired.
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what didn't the chicken cross the road?
cos it was too chicken LOLOL
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Why did Vincent Van Gogh cut off his ear?
He was a fucking dumbass.
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how does a blind man tell time?
he has a watch dog
what does a jew call his father?
he doesnt, all jews are bastards
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why is Advil white?
because you want it to work.
Advil isn't white. Try again.
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You guys hear about the fire at the circus??
It was in tents.
You didn't hear about the paper pants????
They're tear-able.
Whats a dude with no arms or lets on the wall called?--------ART
No arms or legs on your doorstep?--------MATT
No arms or legs in a hole?----------DOUG
and I'm out......
I have no legs! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtrYU6vWdiE#)