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General Discussion => WHATEVER => Topic started by: AngryPetesDonkeyWanktury on September 26, 2018, 02:37:27 PM
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Got stuck at my buds house for a few days they got kids and a filter on the internet. Got me thinking of batin' of yore when i had to wack it to the swim suit section of catalogs or this weird art book i found with titties in.
or downloading some janky video on a 36k modem for two days and it being crap or the girl having a bigger length than me and having to hold one hand over the bottom half of the screen so i cant see dong.
whats the weirdest non porn you made do with?
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You ever seen stuff in marble?
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Better than Aaron Kyro on Baker thread, but still.
(http://www.gifbin.com/bin/1238157980_scanners_-_head_explosion.gif)
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Queue the "newbies can't make threads" guy
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Hi yes that is a true thing to say.
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repeatedly hit the A/B button as fast as you can.
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Fast times at Ridgemont High.
/Thread
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Gotta go Lizzie McGuire on that one
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surragate
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Girls Gone Wild commercials during Wild On E! with Brooke Burke. 8)
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American pie band camp
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I thought this was about pregger pron
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Santa Claus
(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8IxtepjbHzA/UNm5LVxa0tI/AAAAAAAAPog/gw3Eu7SO67g/s1600/Don-Chooi-Santa-Claus-drawing-illustration-erotic-gay-bear-daddy-12.jpg)
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(http://images1.fanpop.com/images/quiz/27729_1215375020961_500_278.jpg)
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Mrs. Butterworth bottle.
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The ball drop on New year's Eve. I mean to try and maintain control during the countdown to get to zero. That's hard stuff. You have to time it out perfectly. Seriously think about it.
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rosa shorty's silverado black cowboy hat ad
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Leeann Tweeden hosting 54321
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I dont know how many times I blasted to Janet Jackson (michael was in it too) when she grabbed her titties in the "scream" video. I made love to that song every time it came on
She grabs her fake A cups around the 2:20 mark
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Jerk off in weird places and jerk off to the idea that you're jerking off there at all
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Two things really stand out to me and remind me how great jacking it was before I had porn anytime I wanted. My first time ever was to a Denise Austin workout show that was on from 6-7 AM on lifetime. Beat myself up real good before the bus that day. Little did I know it would forever change my life.
Second was the Lady Marmalade video and the Hollywood video by Madonna. Made it a point to always bust before Lil Kim would finish her verse. That reminds me I would basically be down to bust to anything involving Lil Kim.
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Hahaha, this thread is actually pretty awesome.
I’ve got to add Fran Drescher on that show “The Nanny”.
8)
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Girls Gone Wild commercials during Wild On E! with Brooke Burke. 8)
Same except I came from the Tara Reid era. Show and commercial were both solid material as a 13 year old. Pretty sure that gave way to my love of overtly trashy women. I also lived in a trailer during this time period, so in retrospect, I guess a white trash fetish was inevitable.
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I had this puberty book my parents gave me around 11. It had drawings of probably like a 15 year old teenage boy and girl to explain your body’s changes. There were nude adults drawn in it too but I put the image of the teen age girl to good use until I got some porn mags in grade 9. My buddy stole them from his single dad. There was a couple playgirls in the stack he grabbed. We never spoke about why they were in there. He just gave me a couple club mags. I tell you what, that’s a bold mag for a boy to see as his first pornography besides a topless girl photo. Just a high gloss full page photo anal closeup. A brave new world to behold.
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Jerk off in weird places and jerk off to the idea that you're jerking off there at all
Just had a flashback to my 13 year old self sitting in the top of a tree by the neighbour’s farm, having the time of his life.
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My first nut was to J-Los My love don't cost a thing. I almost timed it to the end when she takes her top off.
18 years later I need fucked up shit to get me off. Funny enough, my imagination still, kind of, works.
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My first nut was to J-Los My love don't cost a thing. I almost timed it to the end when she takes her top off.
18 years later I need fucked up shit to get me off. Funny enough, my imagination still, kind of, works.
Kids these days don’t know about jerking it to music videos on the tv.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YxBtwyuN2Bk
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(https://i.imgur.com/Ktj83MD.jpg)
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Hahaha, this thread is actually pretty awesome.
I’ve got to add Fran Drescher on that show “The Nanny”.
8)
i thought I was alone in this world.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YxBtwyuN2Bk
Yeah...pinch that shrimp baby...
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Expand Quote
Girls Gone Wild commercials during Wild On E! with Brooke Burke. 8)
Same except I came from the Tara Reid era. Show and commercial were both solid material as a 13 year old. Pretty sure that gave way to my love of overtly trashy women. I also lived in a trailer during this time period, so in retrospect, I guess a white trash fetish was inevitable.
teenage me also blasted a couple to fully clothed tara reid and brooke burke.
shit, even laura croft use to do it for me. what a babe.
(https://i.ebayimg.com/06/!!e!T34!BWM~$(KGrHqV,!lcEz+7Zsi4FBNP2eEcDSw~~_1.JPG?set_id=89040003C1)
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Pretty sure this isn't the sexual assault stories thread dude. Focus your fucking account creep.
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Kentrock 'bout to get a lifetime ban ;D
Edit: This was written in reference to a now removed post where kentrock discussed sexually assaulting his stepsister.
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Also, I thought we were talking non sexual stuff. Like , I said the new years Eve ball drop countdown. Not some pic of madonna.tjats too easy
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Kentrock 'bout to get a lifetime ban ;D
Edit: This was written in reference to a now removed post where kentrock discussed sexually assaulting his stepsister.
whuuuuut are you talking about dickhead?
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Newsradio
(https://i.gifer.com/Iyf2.gif)
(https://i.gifer.com/PCSD.gif)
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(https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/cinemorgue/images/6/64/Silk-Stalkings-SSN3_Cover.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20141029025504)
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surprised the victoria secret catalog hasn't come up yet
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I fapped to those stupid mail order catalogues that had tiny (1,5 *1,5 inches) pictures of women in underwear. Was more than enough for little horny Kobrakai.
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Many kids my age (somehow) had a copy of Alyssa Milano's "Teen Steam" workout video. Based on the video itself and the title, I could't imagine it was actually intended to be a legitimate workout routine for young girls. Since she's actually older than me in real life, would it be ok to watch it as an adult?
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Alyssa Milano on the cover of Details mag way back did it for me,I hunted that mag down and buying it was like buying a sexdoll at my teen age. VS catalogs were pretty reg,but when a Fredricks came through it was a jack off come up. People magazine was always arlund the house so pics of celebs partying or on the red carpet would work in desperate times. The tlc Creep video etc. It was tough back then, looking at how easy it is now to rub one out...but as a teen pretty much anything with a chick and your imagination could get things going.
Oh yea Saturday morning shows get a shout out like gilligans Island girls, topanga from boy meets world, saved by the bell.
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Many kids my age (somehow) had a copy of Alyssa Milano's "Teen Steam" workout video. Based on the video itself and the title, I could't imagine it was actually intended to be a legitimate workout routine for young girls. Since she's actually older than me in real life, would it be ok to watch it as an adult?
That's a hole rabbit hole for sure. What about fapping to people who are no longer alive? This tripped me out for a long time.
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Alyssa Milano
legit 90s ammo* for sure
ammo was a term my mate came up with where you'd load the image(s) in your spank bank and save them for later.
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legit 90s ammo* for sure
ammo was a term my mate came up with where you'd load the image(s) in your spank bank and save them for later.
Speaking of 90s, nobody jerked to Kelly from "Married with children"? I mean, she must have inspired tons of goo...
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I kind of miss the old days of looking up porn on dial-up. The wait time for images to load made it exciting.
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wild on E! with brooke burke like somebody else already said for sure. also, scrambled cinemax, sometimes the audio and semi scrambled tit could really do the job. it was like christmas when the cable company would sometimes do a free trial of cinemax or showtime, while the other premium channels had softcore they were not nearly as consistent as those two
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Oh shit channel 98. I think 99 too.
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http://youtu.be/B4XzOWi5c4s
The way this dude describes his balloon fetish... it almost makes sense. The buildup, the anticipation, the sudden burst of excitement... this guy wins the thread.
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http://youtu.be/B4XzOWi5c4s
The way this dude describes his balloon fetish... it almost makes sense. The buildup, the anticipation, the sudden burst of excitement... this guy wins the thread.
You just reminded me of a really old comment I screenshotted off Christy Mack's IG
(http://i66.tinypic.com/wvy3ib.jpg)
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Nude scenes in Starship Troopers movies.
https://xhamster.com/search?q=starship+troopers
BMX XXX
www.youtube.com/watch?v=cW901B4-Xvc
The ass-to-ass scene in Requiem for a Dream...
Also huge shout out, and R.I.P., to HBO's Real Sex series.
https://www.cnbc.com/2018/08/29/reports-end-of-an-era-as-hbo-kills-cathouse-real-sex-adult-entertainment-slate.html
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Expand Quote
legit 90s ammo* for sure
ammo was a term my mate came up with where you'd load the image(s) in your spank bank and save them for later.
Speaking of 90s, nobody jerked to Kelly from "Married with children"? I mean, she must have inspired tons of goo...
hell yes I did! I think I also did a few times to neighbors but I can't remember who I was fapping, defs wasn't Kylie though
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The ass-to-ass scene in Requiem for a Dream...
Really? That's a pretty messed up segment
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My parents used to have a small safe in the back of their closet and when I was around 8 years old I realized that the 4 digit code for it was the same as for our garage door opener. Inside was a video of a dimly lit orgy in which a woman swallowed a banana whole and then, with what I believe to be some sort of camera trickery, did a bunch of twisting motions and pooped it out of her vagina still whole. And a bunch of hairy men and women clapped and came up and kissed her on the cheek and shook her hand very politely and formally. I never jerked off to that and in fact didn't really even remember it until recently. This may be the exact opposite of this thread's purpose.
Bruh... This is some therapy shit, right there...
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Last music video I jerked it to was 'toxic ' by Britney spears, that was right around when porn became a thing for me. After porn Kari Byron from mythbusters inspired a few more tv nuts, talk about a dream girl...
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Expand Quote
My parents used to have a small safe in the back of their closet and when I was around 8 years old I realized that the 4 digit code for it was the same as for our garage door opener. Inside was a video of a dimly lit orgy in which a woman swallowed a banana whole and then, with what I believe to be some sort of camera trickery, did a bunch of twisting motions and pooped it out of her vagina still whole. And a bunch of hairy men and women clapped and came up and kissed her on the cheek and shook her hand very politely and formally. I never jerked off to that and in fact didn't really even remember it until recently. This may be the exact opposite of this thread's purpose.
Bruh... This is some therapy shit, right there...
Wow... Could you ever look at your parents the same way after that?
In high school, my two good skate buddies and I accidentally found his parents’ vacation sex tape when we were looking for vhs tapes to tape over with our shitty 180s over a manhole cover. We never let him live it down either.
Also, a young, pre-plastic surgery Nikki Cox in Unhappily Ever After.
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Got stuck at my buds house for a few days they got kids and a filter on the internet. Got me thinking of batin' of yore when i had to wack it to the swim suit section of catalogs or this weird art book i found with titties in.
or downloading some janky video on a 36k modem for two days and it being crap or the girl having a bigger length than me and having to hold one hand over the bottom half of the screen so i cant see dong.
whats the weirdest non porn you made do with?
twerk videos
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Nadia from american Pie
the Holly Valance Kiss Kiss video
the bathroom scene from the shining, trying to bust before she turns into the gross old zombie lady is a dangerous game haha
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legit 90s ammo* for sure
ammo was a term my mate came up with where you'd load the image(s) in your spank bank and save them for later.
Speaking of 90s, nobody jerked to Kelly from "Married with children"? I mean, she must have inspired tons of goo...
hell yes I did! I think I also did a few times to neighbors but I can't remember who I was fapping, defs wasn't Kylie though
ya'll have the same shows in oz? and you call her 'kylie bundy'? and you rather jerk off to marci darci and jefferson [or steve rhodes]?
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Expand Quote
legit 90s ammo* for sure
ammo was a term my mate came up with where you'd load the image(s) in your spank bank and save them for later.
Speaking of 90s, nobody jerked to Kelly from "Married with children"? I mean, she must have inspired tons of goo...
I had a huge poster on my bedroom door. Fapped to her many a time
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Well we had married with children but her name was/is Kelly. Kylie refers to Kylie Minogue of neighbors fame (who actually got hotter over the years).
the Holly Valance Kiss Kiss video
noice! not sure what it was abut her but you just know she'd be down to get nasty
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Well we had married with children but her name was/is Kelly. Kylie refers to Kylie Minogue of neighbors fame (who actually got hotter over the years).
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the Holly Valance Kiss Kiss video
noice! not sure what it was abut her but you just know she'd be down to get nasty
oh man 'do the locomotion'. she had a hit when i was a kid. i thought you meant the bundy's neighbors but kylie minogue makes more sense. marci looked like a chicken.
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LANE. BRYANT.
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LANE. BRYANT.
Guilty.
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Well we had married with children but her name was/is Kelly. Kylie refers to Kylie Minogue of neighbors fame (who actually got hotter over the years).
Expand Quote
the Holly Valance Kiss Kiss video
noice! not sure what it was abut her but you just know she'd be down to get nasty
oh man 'do the locomotion'. she had a hit when i was a kid. i thought you meant the bundy's neighbors but kylie minogue makes more sense. marci looked like a chicken.
locomotion Kylie was no where near as hot as 'can't get you out of my head' Kylie.
I think the other Neighbors actor I tonked over was Kimberly Davies but I still stand by my decision in 2018 ;)
Edit: Negative Creep is right!
Kylie in her post-neighbors years:
(https://i.imgur.com/BOhegI7.jpg)
90s era Kimberley is still fap-tastic in 2018:
(https://i.imgur.com/JuVybWA.jpg)
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Threads blowing it without pictures
Nikki Cox from Unhappily Ever After
(http://imagecache6.allposters.com/LRG/27/2772/W5WTD00Z.jpg)
(https://orig00.deviantart.net/245e/f/2018/140/7/0/nikki_cox_gif_by_antonphibes-dcb801f.gif)
Kelly Bundy
(https://i.pinimg.com/736x/b4/ce/fc/b4cefce76c939d629b035445936c015a.jpg)
(https://68.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_meheuwwu4I1r9wyn6o1_500.png)
90's Alyssa Milano
(http://68.media.tumblr.com/d6eae0c1139a3daf1b18773d4e59e505/tumblr_nl2u4dDeCi1spuoxpo1_500.jpg)
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Jessie from Team Rocket
(https://cdn.bulbagarden.net/upload/7/7d/Jessie_SM.png)
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The show Charmed. Hard nips for days.
Victoria secret flyer from idk what newspaper or magazine
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Damn, pre internet days were legit. Had to earn it
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leah remini in king of queens .. had to time it right with the live cable feed
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Seeing Elizabeth Hurley dress up as a police officer, a teacher, the devil etc in Bedazzled was a gift from god going through puberty.
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I had a hard time getting Mira Sorvino off my mind back in the day.
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Expand Quote
legit 90s ammo* for sure
ammo was a term my mate came up with where you'd load the image(s) in your spank bank and save them for later.
Speaking of 90s, nobody jerked to Kelly from "Married with children"? I mean, she must have inspired tons of goo...
Kelly? what about Peggy?
(https://shopapplesauced.files.wordpress.com/2013/08/9370630767_cf57d91a31.jpg?w=192&h=300)
that’s what I’m talkin’ about.
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Expand Quote
Expand Quote
legit 90s ammo* for sure
ammo was a term my mate came up with where you'd load the image(s) in your spank bank and save them for later.
Speaking of 90s, nobody jerked to Kelly from "Married with children"? I mean, she must have inspired tons of goo...
Kelly? what about Peggy?
(https://shopapplesauced.files.wordpress.com/2013/08/9370630767_cf57d91a31.jpg?w=192&h=300)
that’s what I’m talkin’ about.
Oof Peggy. Then she did the voice of leela on futurama, cartoon babe.
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(https://i.4pcdn.org/tv/1522202985372.jpg)
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(https://i.4pcdn.org/tv/1522202985372.jpg)
Hail to the king baby
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leah remini in king of queens .. had to time it right with the live cable feed
I was watching Scientology and the Aftermath a bunch a month or so ago and was digging her. She still fine.
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Nikki Cox from Unhappily Ever After
Kelly Bundy
90's Alyssa Milano
leah remini
/thread
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Leah Remini's late-career turn into being a super anti-Scientologist has been cool.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mGBaXPlri8
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The nanny on Muppet Babies.
(https://i.pinimg.com/originals/ec/8c/76/ec8c76f1a197f2e39c1da4fdd0fd2341.jpg)