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General Discussion => WHATEVER => Topic started by: Spacesuit on January 02, 2019, 03:31:38 AM
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the best kind of burger, how to fill it n where to eat it
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We don't believe in burgers; we believe in Tortas, U muthaluvas!
(https://images.food52.com/y05ULFXvXqWfTWVxkDBkhbFtO1g=/b682a3b3-77a3-417d-bb26-8d2b188c5930--19533177436_542eba628d_b.jpg)
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I used to be opposed to cutting a burger in half to eat it but the past few years I switched over. It’s less messy
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I used to be opposed to cutting a burger in half to eat it but the past few years I switched over. It’s less messy
It's just plain easier too, like I usually get a "black and blu" burger and that shit is always a slop fest. Cutting it in half minimizes my embarrassment. Not first date food.
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What about a pastrami bun, a hot one always tastes nice
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flat top griddle not a charbroiler is the key
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Expand Quote
I used to be opposed to cutting a burger in half to eat it but the past few years I switched over. It’s less messy
It's just plain easier too, like I usually get a "black and blu" burger and that shit is always a slop fest. Cutting it in half minimizes my embarrassment. Not first date food.
Got my gf hooked on the bloomin burger from outback, she knows about a messy burger now and understands the risks for a good burger
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I usually eat a burger with my mouth.
I get all my chlorophyll from the sun, but its tricky to get beef into the diet through photosynthesis
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http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gZuDMKXWU_E (http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gZuDMKXWU_E)
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http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gZuDMKXWU_E (http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gZuDMKXWU_E)
Hahaha. That was amazing. And those burgers he made looked perfect
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thin and charred > thick and rare. good bread. simple, good ingredients. no ketchup, very little mayo.
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flat top griddle not a charbroiler is the key
Totally agree with the flat top over a grill. I also like to have a slightly runny fried egg on my burger, when that yoke mixes with the toppings, mmmmmm
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For free.
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with your hands fool
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Expand Quote
I used to be opposed to cutting a burger in half to eat it but the past few years I switched over. It’s less messy
It's just plain easier too, like I usually get a "black and blu" burger and that shit is always a slop fest. Cutting it in half minimizes my embarrassment. Not first date food.
poosys. return to your old ways.
augustmoon's statement is something I could stand by, though I'm not sure on the charred vs. rare question. I'm not opposed to adding pickled jalapeños. spicier is always better.
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Expand Quote
Expand Quote
I used to be opposed to cutting a burger in half to eat it but the past few years I switched over. It’s less messy
It's just plain easier too, like I usually get a "black and blu" burger and that shit is always a slop fest. Cutting it in half minimizes my embarrassment. Not first date food.
poosys. return to your old ways.
augustmoon's statement is something I could stand by, though I'm not sure on the charred vs. rare question. I'm not opposed to adding pickled jalapeños. spicier is always better.
Give it a shot, if you have facial hair it’s a game changer.
I’m definitely down with the spice though. Hot banana peppers are the shit.
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thin and charred > thick and rare. good bread. simple, good ingredients. no ketchup, very little mayo.
my man with the bourdain methodology
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with a fried egg on it.
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i'm not so big on cutting in half.. although i do like taking a look at that beautiful cross section.
i always put my palm on top and squish that thing til it'll fit in my mouth
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Expand Quote
thin and charred > thick and rare. good bread. simple, good ingredients. no ketchup, very little mayo.
It should still be red in the middle, even if it is thin and charred.
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I back the cut.....you get to enjoy the burger inside out or outside in.....
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You ask me about a hamburger. My attempt to reciprocate is cut brutally short as my body experiences a sudden lack of electrons. Across a variety of hidden dimensions you are dismayed. John Lennon hands me an apple, but it slips through my fingers. I am reborn as an ocelot. You disapprove. A crack echoes through the universe in defiance of conventional physics as cosmological background noise shifts from randomness to a perfect A Flat. Children everywhere stop what they are doing and hum along in perfect pitch with the background radiation. Birds fall from the sky as the sun engulfs the earth. You hesitate momentarily before allowing yourself to assume the locus of all knowledge. Entropy crumbles as you peruse the information contained within the universe. A small library in Phoenix ceases to exist. You stumble under the weight of everythingness, Your mouth opens up to cry out, and collapses around your body before blinking you out of the spatial plane. You exist only within the fourth dimension. The fountainhead of all knowledge rolls along the ground and collides with a small dog. My head tastes sideways as spacetime is reestablished, you blink back into the corporeal world disoriented, only for me to hand you a hamburger as my body collapses under the strain of reconstitution. The universe has reasserted itself. A particular small dog is fed steak for the rest of its natural life. You die in a freak accident moments later, and you soul works at the returns desk for the Phoenix library. You disapprove. Your disapproval sends ripples through the inter-dimensional void between life and death. A small child begins to cry as he walks toward the stairway where his father stands. I give you a hamburger. The universe is engulfed within itself. A bus advertising hotdogs drives by a papillon. It disapproves. An unnatural force reverses Earth's gravity. You ask for a hamburger. I reciprocate with a mildly convulsing potato. You disapprove. Your disapproval releases a cosmic shift in the void between birth and life. You ask for a hamburger. A certain small dog feasts on hamburger patties for the rest of its unnatural, eternal endurance. Your constant disapproval sends silence through everything. A contrived beast becomes omnipotent. You ask for a hamburger. I give you a hamburger your body becomes an unsettled blob of nothingness, then divides by three. The papillon barks. The universe realigns itself. You, the papillon, and the hamburger disapprove. This condemnation stops the realignment. Hades freezes over. A pig is launched is launched into the unoccupied existence between space and time with a specific hamburger. You ask for a hamburger. I give you a hamburger. It screams as you lift it to your face. You laugh maniacally as I plead with you. You devour the hamburger as it pleads for mercy. I disapprove and condemn you to an eternity in a certain void where a certain pig and its specific hamburger are located. The Universal Space-time Continuum Committee disapproves of my irrational decision. You are locked away and are fed hamburgers for the rest of your natural existence. A pickle refuses to break down during the process of digestion. You die in a freak accident. A certain pickle lives the rest of its life in a comatose state. Your soul disapproves. Down the street a child cries as a hamburger gets stuck in, and climbs back up, her esophagus. You ask again for a hamburger. I refuse to reciprocate. You demand a lawyer. I remind you harshly that this is the new world order. Lawyers no longer exist. Only papillons. Your name is written on a list of sins. Blasphemy. You ask for a hamburger. The comatose pickle vanquishes your soul from this universe. Realignment occurs. You beg for a hamburger. A certain papillon's name is written on an obelisk in Egypt. Mumble. Peasants worship the obelisk. Your soulless corpse partakes in the festivity. Hamburgers are banned universally. The sun implodes. All planets cease to have ever existed. Mercury. Venus. Earth. Mars. Jupiter. Saturn. Uranus. Neptune. Pluto is the only mass in existence. Conveniently, you are on vacation here. Your need for hamburgers re-establishes space-time. Earth is recreated under your intergalactic rule. Hamburgers are your army. You wake up. Clowns. Clowns everywhere. Your dream rushes to meet you. You are kidnapped. You ask for a hamburger. They hand you a hotdog.
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^Nope. Nobody is going to read that.
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Why are we speaking German? A mime cries softly as he cradles a young cow. Your grandfather stares at you as the cow falls apart into patties. You look down only to see me with pickles for eyes, I am singing the song that gives birth to the universe.
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Reported
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No cut. Hold on for dear life and never set it down.
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You ask for a hamburger, I give you a hamburger. You raise it to your lips and take a bite. Your eye twitches involuntarily. Across the street a father of three falls down the stairs. You swallow and look down at the hamburger in your hands. I give you a hamburger. You swallow and look down at the hamburger in your hands. You cannot swallow. There are children at the top of the stairs. A pickle shifts uneasily under the bun. I give you a hamburger. You look at my face, and I am pleading with you. The children are crying now. You raise the hamburger to your lips, tears stream down your face as you take a bite. I give you a hamburger. You are on your knees. You plead with me to go across the street. I hear only children's laughter. I give you a hamburger. You are screaming as you fall down the stairs. I am your child. You cannot see anything. You take a bite of the hamburger. The concrete rushes up to meet you. You awake with a start in your own bed. Your eye twitches involuntarily. I give you a hamburger. As you kill me, I do not make a sound. I give you a hamburger.
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Anyone who doesn't cut is just lazy
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Anyone who doesn't cut is just lazy
Take that back right now bro
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^Nope. Nobody is going to read that.
You’re missing out man.
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Anyone who doesn't cut is just lazy
Bet you use a fork and knife for your pizza too, you fucking ninny.
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A large tattooed and bearded man ordered all you can eat cheeseburgers at a truck stop restaurant. They were massive burgers and he used a spoon to ingest them. He ordered at least three. He used a spoon to eat cheeseburgers. It was something to appreciate.
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Expand Quote
Anyone who doesn't cut is just lazy
We talkin pizza now?? New York style for days and If you ain’t folding it, I don’t trust you. Unless it’s deep dish. It hasn’t happened yet but someday I will drunkenly order Lou malnotis to be shipped. Sober me is more frugal.
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New York style for days and If you ain’t folding it, I don’t trust you.
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You ask me about a hamburger. My attempt to reciprocate is cut brutally short as my body experiences a sudden lack of electrons. Across a variety of hidden dimensions you are dismayed. John Lennon hands me an apple, but it slips through my fingers. I am reborn as an ocelot. You disapprove. A crack echoes through the universe in defiance of conventional physics as cosmological background noise shifts from randomness to a perfect A Flat. Children everywhere stop what they are doing and hum along in perfect pitch with the background radiation. Birds fall from the sky as the sun engulfs the earth. You hesitate momentarily before allowing yourself to assume the locus of all knowledge. Entropy crumbles as you peruse the information contained within the universe. A small library in Phoenix ceases to exist. You stumble under the weight of everythingness, Your mouth opens up to cry out, and collapses around your body before blinking you out of the spatial plane. You exist only within the fourth dimension. The fountainhead of all knowledge rolls along the ground and collides with a small dog. My head tastes sideways as spacetime is reestablished, you blink back into the corporeal world disoriented, only for me to hand you a hamburger as my body collapses under the strain of reconstitution. The universe has reasserted itself. A particular small dog is fed steak for the rest of its natural life. You die in a freak accident moments later, and you soul works at the returns desk for the Phoenix library. You disapprove. Your disapproval sends ripples through the inter-dimensional void between life and death. A small child begins to cry as he walks toward the stairway where his father stands. I give you a hamburger. The universe is engulfed within itself. A bus advertising hotdogs drives by a papillon. It disapproves. An unnatural force reverses Earth's gravity. You ask for a hamburger. I reciprocate with a mildly convulsing potato. You disapprove. Your disapproval releases a cosmic shift in the void between birth and life. You ask for a hamburger. A certain small dog feasts on hamburger patties for the rest of its unnatural, eternal endurance. Your constant disapproval sends silence through everything. A contrived beast becomes omnipotent. You ask for a hamburger. I give you a hamburger your body becomes an unsettled blob of nothingness, then divides by three. The papillon barks. The universe realigns itself. You, the papillon, and the hamburger disapprove. This condemnation stops the realignment. Hades freezes over. A pig is launched is launched into the unoccupied existence between space and time with a specific hamburger. You ask for a hamburger. I give you a hamburger. It screams as you lift it to your face. You laugh maniacally as I plead with you. You devour the hamburger as it pleads for mercy. I disapprove and condemn you to an eternity in a certain void where a certain pig and its specific hamburger are located. The Universal Space-time Continuum Committee disapproves of my irrational decision. You are locked away and are fed hamburgers for the rest of your natural existence. A pickle refuses to break down during the process of digestion. You die in a freak accident. A certain pickle lives the rest of its life in a comatose state. Your soul disapproves. Down the street a child cries as a hamburger gets stuck in, and climbs back up, her esophagus. You ask again for a hamburger. I refuse to reciprocate. You demand a lawyer. I remind you harshly that this is the new world order. Lawyers no longer exist. Only papillons. Your name is written on a list of sins. Blasphemy. You ask for a hamburger. The comatose pickle vanquishes your soul from this universe. Realignment occurs. You beg for a hamburger. A certain papillon's name is written on an obelisk in Egypt. Mumble. Peasants worship the obelisk. Your soulless corpse partakes in the festivity. Hamburgers are banned universally. The sun implodes. All planets cease to have ever existed. Mercury. Venus. Earth. Mars. Jupiter. Saturn. Uranus. Neptune. Pluto is the only mass in existence. Conveniently, you are on vacation here. Your need for hamburgers re-establishes space-time. Earth is recreated under your intergalactic rule. Hamburgers are your army. You wake up. Clowns. Clowns everywhere. Your dream rushes to meet you. You are kidnapped. You ask for a hamburger. They hand you a hotdog.
QFT
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i find that you need to eat it upside down. basically the top of the bun is usually more structurally sound than the bottom, so then it won't fall apart.
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i find that you need to eat it upside down. basically the top of the bun is usually more structurally sound than the bottom, so then it won't fall apart.
Depends how it's put together. If you put your burger patty on the bottom, then yeah, upside down it's probably the way to go. To go right side up, you gotta layer your veggies on the bottom to keep the bottom bun dry. It's all about strategy.
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Ugggggg maybe the grossest burger of all time.
https://www.journalpioneer.com/business/restaurants-get-creative-for-2018-burger-love-204062/
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Ugggggg maybe the grossest burger of all time.
https://www.journalpioneer.com/business/restaurants-get-creative-for-2018-burger-love-204062/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kY-pUxKQMUE
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I think I can beat that... 🤢
https://www.instagram.com/p/BsT8GJ6nnAm/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=1cm5arhzulnhb
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this thread has turned into worst way to eat a burger
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what have you done of my thread ?! an innocent gastronomical topic mutated ina complex of abhorrence XD