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Skateboarding => USELESS WOODEN TOY BANTER => Topic started by: Skeleton Pudding on September 29, 2020, 08:53:20 AM
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We've all had those falls. Maybe you were trying to impress someone, or wrecked on something easy. What's the one slam where you lost all dignity?
For me I was skating on a smooth cement walkway in a public park. There was a covered area with picnic tables and a kids birthday party. I was trying to be all cool and really push a carve around a corner in this bend in the path. I leaned too hard and flung myself into some dirt on my side. I would have stayed down - but the entire birthday party was pointing and laughing at me. I collected myself, got up, and skated away like nothing happened, even though my elbow and knee both hurt.
I provided more entertainment than any balloon animal making clown ever could.
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I was skating to work one day and it started to rain. I also had to shit pretty bad but not an emergency. I cruised up right in front of the window to my job and put my foot down to stop but the ground was slippery as fuck and I slipped back, landed straight on my ass and completely shit myself, full turd mode dripping down my leg. I flung it out into an alley and walked home in shame
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I was skating to work one day and it started to rain. I also had to shit pretty bad but not an emergency. I cruised up right in front of the window to my job and put my foot down to stop but the ground was slippery as fuck and I slipped back, landed straight on my ass and completely shit myself, full turd mode dripping down my leg. I flung it out into an alley and walked home in shame
Thank you for sharing that amazing story. It brightened my day.
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When I was a kid I used to bomb this hill near my house all the time. I remember walking up it at the same time an elderly couple was walking down it. I said something like just be aware, I’ll be coming down this hill pretty quick in a minute
Hit a rock or something and got pitched right at their feet. Completely cut to shit. Old dude thought it was hilarious, which it was. Fuck it he’d be dead by now anyway
This isn’t a slam but it was funny, I was riding a racing bike high as shit one time and I dinged my bell cause there were people walking but I dinged it late and I was right on them. I pulled off the path to avoid a fat woman but she’s zigged when she shoulda zagged and I’ve gone right up her arse with the front tyre and pushed her along for a bit. She didn’t go down just sorta trotted it out
I have this vivid memory of the front wheel just jammed between her cheeks and I’m pushing her along for a few metres
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Tried to kickflip off a ledge in front of some foxy ladies when I was around 20 or so. Ended up impaling myself on the nose of the board right between the legs. Hobbled off like it was no big deal until I was around the corner, then just laid down on the ground. My taint was cut/ bruised to fuckery and I couldn't skate for about 2 weeks. Felt like that was punishment for trying to impress womens with my skating.
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Snowboarding...… but still. Was riding with a cute girl and went through a little park area. I went to boardslide something and hit it way faster than I normally would have, trying to showoff. Caught my front edge, tumbled, and elbowed my kidney somehow. I knew I was hurt, but whatever. I kept riding. For the next week whenever I'd laugh it would hurt like hell. About a week after it happened I pissed blood and started the process of passing a scab through my urinary track. It's on par with kidney stones.
Woof. Didn't even kiss the girl.
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I slammed so fucking hard in front of an entire construction crew a couple months ago when I was heading home from work. I'd just gotten off the bus, ollied off the sidewalk and started cruising down the hill when I hit something and got pitched from my board. Landed right on my shoulder/elbow/knee and tumbled head over heels and slid a few feet down the street. Whatever the fuck I hit took a chunk out of my wheel too. The dudes at the construction site were kinda just like "uhhhh you good dude?" and kicked my board back to me, and all I could really do was be like "uh yeah totally dude" and skate off while my hand and elbow/forearm were leaking blood. Good times.
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Skating my homie's kicker in the back of a local school. The janitors came out to throw some trash away or something. Thought I was gonna be a cool guy so I went full speed and launched a huge front 180 off the top of the kicker. Board came off my feet right at the top and I landed primo harder than I ever have in my life right at their feet. Went full ragdoll and my arm got pinned behind my back in a weird angle that made it look like my arm was broken. I was fine but the lady janitor looked really spooked, and the dude janitor just laughed at me.
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Was skating to the train station from college one time. Had my backpack on and was feeling good. There was one path I took that was smooth but had debris on it sometimes. This time, I hit a fart rock and fell forward and actually slid on my forehead for a sec while my backpack flung over my head. Luckily no one was around but was still embarrassed.
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Canada day downtown and I was making my way to the core of the activities with the homies, local shop always ran a demo. Streets are all closed so you can just rip through crowds of people super fast. Beer in hand tried to ollie a sewer and just scorpioned in front of hundreds of people, beer spilling all over me. homeless dudes nearby lamented the spilled beer. laughed it off but i was bummed and reeked of booze in the hot sun for the rest of the day
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Tried to lip slide a tiny bump to bar and clipped. I didn't even try to put my arms out and smacked my chin, breaking my tooth in the process. This was in front of a group of younger skatepark girls. I picked my board up and went to through it down and missed, falling again. 16 year old me was bummed as shit that day.
Also this has to be posted in this thread for good measure
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NulgtJrRfPQ
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Skating back to my dorm freshman year in college, my front left bearing just exploded in of the busier parts of campus. I was completely pitched and just let myself lay on the ground for a while, pondering if the bearing explosion was some form of karmic retribution
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Who's got the gif of Dallas falling in the pond?
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i was at a school and tried to quick ollie down (what i thought was) a 6 stair real short notice in a line. Turned out it was a 12 stair, but I was already in the air when I realized it. Landed with the board straight up in my gooch nearly avoiding my balls on about the 6th stair, then did a frontflip out of that, landed on my neck, rolled a little bit, and then my board smacked me in the head.
it was my first time skating with some of the more established older dudes in my area so I was fuckin bummed.
they took me to taco bell after tho so i did get somethin out of it.
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Tried to lip slide a tiny bump to bar and clipped. I didn't even try to put my arms out and smacked my chin, breaking my tooth in the process. This was in front of a group of younger skatepark girls. I picked my board up and went to through it down and missed, falling again. 16 year old me was bummed as shit that day.
Also this has to be posted in this thread for good measure
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NulgtJrRfPQ
https://www.instagram.com/p/BVdFdsXnZnz/
"Just bombed garrett hill" lol
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In college, my buddy wanted to try my board bombing a hill on campus through the residential area, while I tried his longboard. I ended up going way too fast and was coming up on some people so put my foot down to drag and slow down like I do all the time on my board. Put my foot down and did a front flip to back slam on the sidewalk right in front of a group of people. I made their night. That's what I get for riding a longboard.
Another also comes to mind, but it was just hilarious. Was bombing a parking garage ramp that had a sharp left turn at the bottom followed by an almost immediate right turn (International Plaza parking garage in Tampa if anyone's familiar). We all charged into it. I made the first left cut just fine, but when carving the right turn to miss the curb inertia took over and my body just flew parallel straight into the bushes. One of the funniest things I wish I'd seen.
Other than that, pretty much any time I go down it's embarrassing.
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i was at a school and tried to quick ollie down (what i thought was) a 6 stair real short notice in a line. Turned out it was a 12 stair, but I was already in the air when I realized it. Landed with the board straight up in my gooch nearly avoiding my balls on about the 6th stair, then did a frontflip out of that, landed on my neck, rolled a little bit, and then my board smacked me in the head.
it was my first time skating with some of the more established older dudes in my area so I was fuckin bummed.
they took me to taco bell after tho so i did get somethin out of it.
Holy shit I can't imagine what went through your head when you realized
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I was 18 or 19.
I was bombing a hill I had no business bombing in Old Quebec where the ground is very rough and full of cracks with 50 mm skinny wheels... at night. Things were going smoothly, surprisingly I was almost there. No speed wobbles, no pebbles, no powersliding, nothing... I was fucking flying and I was going to conquer this motherfucker.
At the bottom of the hill were 3 hot older girls who were having a smoke outside a pub on the street corner cheering me. Well that distracted me, and the second I turned my head to get a good look at them I missed a crack and slammed so hard I knocked myself out and broke my wrist. I woke up to my friend freaking out and me thinking I was still in my bed not knowing where in the fuck I was.
That one sucked.
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This one is especially embarrassing because it’s not on a skateboard and at an embarrassing time so I hesitate to bring it up.
It’s 1994 and I’ve essentially quit skateboarding because I’m just out of high school and more concerned with getting trashed and hanging out. A grandparent has given me a pair of rollerblades because it’s the 1990’s. I didn’t “rollerblade” (like do tricks) but I kind of liked doing it as an alternative to jogging and it was the 1990’s so most people thought that was normal. Anyway, I ship off to college and bring the ‘blades and leave the board.
One day I’m out ‘bladin and when I get back to campus there is this 4’ bollard at the entrance to the walking path back to the dorms. I’m feeling frisky so I leapfrog it on the way in. Unfortunately my huge 1990’s shorts catch on the way down so I forcefully pivot in midair to face first. My shorts then give way and I’m plopped to the ground. I’m not hurt and no one seems to have seen the incident but now my shorts have become a tactical kilt and I’m in tighty whities because boxer briefs aren’t invented for another year. I ride back to my dorm past a bunch of people who don’t seem to notice but my pride takes a beating.
Eventually I meet the one other punk/skater dude at school and somehow get an extra complete from a raver and start skateboarding again.
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Skating back to the train late night in nyc after a long day with some homies. I fucking eat it getting noobishly pitched from a sidewalk crack to the street and turned to hear a bunch of "awww" & "you okay?" from a group of girls that were looking like they were heading home from a night out. Laughed it off but felt like the biggest dork inside for sure
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When you go to throw your board down, but your balance is slightly out wack because you’re carrying like a twelve pack or something in one hand.
Then you just look like a complete uncoordinated goof riding away, or immediately you eat shit.
Happens a few times a year, so I don’t really get that embarrassed anymore. Having no shame helps a little, not completely, but a little.
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I've told this story before but I'll tell it again. During college, I was skating down a mellow hill one time fairly close to campus and a cop in his car told me through his loudspeaker that I wasn't allowed to skate on the street. I flipped him off or cursed him out or something and started to take off. I didn't make it very far before I hit a rock or a crack or something and fucking ate shit super hard and had huge gouges in my palms. The cop drove up, asked me if I was okay and took a first aid kit out of his trunk and bandaged me up. That was pretty embarrassing.
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Back in 02' i was in middle school and there was this lil 6 set right before you got to the bus loop down this long walkway and one day after class had ended and just about the entire school was heading to the buses I threw down full speed and was gonna blast my biggest ollie then get on my bus to go home, well i was wearing my bookbag full of books and didnt realize how much it weighed me down until id ollied the set, stuck bolts and was tossed and slammed 10ft from impact in front of everyone. I just remember getting back up and hearing almost everyone laughing at me but i wasnt gonna have it, i threw my bookbag off kicked my board back up and ran back up the lil set until one of the teachers stopped me from trying it again. i was so pissed because i knew i could ollie this lil 6 in my sleep but my bookbag had just made me top heavy. Ive had worst slams but that one stung the worst even after almost 2 decades now.
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when nyjah slamed on SLS I felt embarrassed
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Not really a fall but...I was in 9th grade and at some youth church thing a friend dragged me to. Went out on the patio to skate and there were like four chicks out there. I said hi and went to try a 360 flip and accidentally farted massively as I crouched down to pop and flip...they all heard it and screamed, “Gross! The fat guy just farrrrteddd!” and ran inside, telling everyone. Never did land it, and never went back to lame ass church group, either. I never knew I had a fart coming on...sneaky bastard.
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- Was bombing down a mellow but long hill to get to a party when I was 16 or so. Saw a group of friends with some girls I liked and they all looked at me. I decided to do this weird carving/swerving thing to look cool I guess and my board shot out, wound up instantly getting my feet knotted when I hit the concrete and ate shit. Casually brushed it off then rode off like a cool guy but wound up getting to the party and quickly realized I had a concussion. Wound up spending the whole night in the ER puking and to this day feel I likely developed post concussion issues which messed with a lot of my teens and early twenties. Good times.
- Skating home from work on my cruiser and discovered that the stairs in front of a bentley dealership were grindable without wax. Each day I would hit it a little faster until I got stupidly confident and would grind a good 10 feet while ripping home each day, again, thinking I was pretty cool. One day I locked in faster then ever and was way too relaxed, knees barely bent, not respecting the speed. My trucks got stuck in a notch and stopped on a dime, I literally did 3/4 of a front flip and landed on my backpack which conveniently had a metal water bottle in it. I landed directly on the water bottle with my sacrum with all the momentum of the front flip. I layed there for a good 20 seconds, back bent over the water bottle while people in the dealership looked at me and busy traffic was everywhere, just blinded by pain and in awe of what happened. I never hit that ledge again.
I was once ridding on that same cruiser and a bar patio full of drunk guys shouted do a kickflip. I was riding decently fast and said screw it then proceeded to bust the cleanest properly flicked kickflip of my life on a 9 inch deck with 60mm wheels. They all lost their shit and I rode off into the sunset. I like to think that event somehow cancels out the memories of the first two slams.
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I was waiting for the bus ,I'm an eco warrior, or just a shithead. Any way, I was waiting an talkin to like the sweetest old lady. She's like oh skateboards?! My grandson blah blah tony hawk. So I'm like yea cool but we got of at the same stop and I was like here check this out, only gonna do a sweet ollie, I run throw down the board... eat shit immediately. Like so stupid. She's like a sweet grandma, maybe you need more practice and the bus of people are yuckin it up.
And I didn't get the gig I ws goin to interview for, pretty doap.
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some really good stories in this thread. mine is weak by comparison. I usually just laugh at myself when I fall, but this one was too painful and stupid to laugh. My local has a very long bank (basically a hill) with a rail, and I was trying to haul ass from across the park to go up the bank and board slide the end of the rail. After a few tries I was getting close but just needed a bit more speed, so I'm pushing super hard going as fast as I can when my last push before the bank clips one of my wheels and I just get pitched full force into the bottom of the bank. Our park has very rough concrete too, so I had a dollar bill sized deep abrasion on my forearm, plus some less deep ones on my shoulder and back. All from fucking up pushing.
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I've told this story before but I'll tell it again. During college, I was skating down a mellow hill one time fairly close to campus and a cop in his car told me through his loudspeaker that I wasn't allowed to skate on the street. I flipped him off or cursed him out or something and started to take off. I didn't make it very far before I hit a rock or a crack or something and fucking ate shit super hard and had huge gouges in my palms. The cop drove up, asked me if I was okay and took a first aid kit out of his trunk and bandaged me up. That was pretty embarrassing.
This is the winner
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One time I bought a 6 pack of beers in glass bottles and skated back to my cousins house. I rolled off a curb but I didn't realize that the pavement in front of it was so fucked up and crusty. My back wheels got caught and I eat shit hard and all of the bottles break. There were 2 drivers at stop signs that witnessed this and I just skated off and left my broken beers and dignity in the street.
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Something smaller, but I was hanging out at the local DIY. My girl at the time was there for some reason too. I'm riding my board and she yells something at me, I turn around my head on the board to look at her. and then I run straight into the flatbar, and fall flat on my face. She never let me live it down. Shit was sick.
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Expand Quote
i was at a school and tried to quick ollie down (what i thought was) a 6 stair real short notice in a line. Turned out it was a 12 stair, but I was already in the air when I realized it. Landed with the board straight up in my gooch nearly avoiding my balls on about the 6th stair, then did a frontflip out of that, landed on my neck, rolled a little bit, and then my board smacked me in the head.
it was my first time skating with some of the more established older dudes in my area so I was fuckin bummed.
they took me to taco bell after tho so i did get somethin out of it.
Holy shit I can't imagine what went through your head when you realized
just impending doom, im lucky it went as good as it did.
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I broke my leg at Shields Skate Park in NJ about 15 years ago. Stepped on my board running down the mini-ramp off of a bailed trick. Normally if I sprained my ankle I would have the decency to slide my ass off the ramp, but my left foot was turned 90 degrees outwards and I was too freaked out to move.
I remember everyone coming up to check on me which is super awkward especially when you don’t know them. Then a skate homie I hadn’t seen for 5 years comes up and is having a conversation with me which is cool but I am flat on my back holding my leg and dude is just standing over me Flaunting the use of his legs.
The ultimate was calling my wife from the bottom of the ramp saying to meet me at a nearby hospital.
Also, I refused to have the EMTs cut my BA Saviers off, so they had to cut the laces and slowly remove the shoe.
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Rolling drop in at my local concrete. 3 foot quarter with no coping. But kinda has "coping" because years of grinding. Anyways, I was learning them and felt confident after doing like 15 throughout the day. I say fuck it I'm gonna charge at it and lock in a good grind before dropping. Front truck locks and I get chucked to the bottom and it fucking sucked. I madea audible thud, my homies were like uhhhhhhh you okay? I got up and went home, hahahhahah. I was over it.
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I broke my leg at Shields Skate Park in NJ about 15 years ago. Stepped on my board running down the mini-ramp off of a bailed trick. Normally if I sprained my ankle I would have the decency to slide my ass off the ramp, but my left foot was turned 90 degrees outwards and I was too freaked out to move.
I remember everyone coming up to check on me which is super awkward especially when you don’t know them. Then a skate homie I hadn’t seen for 5 years comes up and is having a conversation with me which is cool but I am flat on my back holding my leg and dude is just standing over me Flaunting the use of his legs.
The ultimate was calling my wife from the bottom of the ramp saying to meet me at a nearby hospital.
Also, I refused to have the EMTs cut my BA Saviers off, so they had to cut the laces and slowly remove the shoe.
mad respect to the EMTs for saving the shoes, good story
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Sunday morning coffee and bagel run w my old lady. On our way back ive got the coffees. We have to cross one of the busiest streets in my city so you have to time it just right. The time comes and i run throw my board down and get one hard push, i immediately hit a wheel size hole and eat shit in the middle of the street throwing coffee all over the place and a pack of cars now has to slow down and honk and shit. Really good bagel afterwards helped to ease the pain.
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Passed a crusty bank to wall spot out of town on a day trip with my lady right when we first started dating. I scratched a few tricks on the bank but realized I’d have to full sprint and throw down to get on the wall. I kick the board as I’m throwing down and land face first and had pebbles stuck in my face. I was hurting for a good week. She says I ‘skate slow as fuck’ and anytime I come home a lil banged up she’s like ‘Oh poor baby, Did you try to skate fast?’
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Passed a crusty bank to wall spot out of town on a day trip with my lady right when we first started dating. I scratched a few tricks on the bank but realized I’d have to full sprint and throw down to get on the wall. I kick the board as I’m throwing down and land face first and had pebbles stuck in my face. I was hurting for a good week. She says I ‘skate slow as fuck’ and anytime I come home a lil banged up she’s like ‘Oh poor baby, Did you try to skate fast?’
she's a keeper ;)
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I just remembered that I got hit by my own car once, or rather I hit it.
I wanted to bomb this hill as my girlfriend and I were headed to a party that was at the bottom of it. So I stopped and told her to drive the car while I bombed the hill. For some reason I thought it would be fun to be like... right next to her. So she's driving, I'm fucking flying and at the bottom of the hill, where she had to keep going straight or maybe turn right, she turns left, right where I was going to zip by. I wound up hitting the back passenger side. Just straight into it. Sucked, got banged up and didn't enjoy the party.
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I had a job working at an "organic-focused" grocery store, in a ritzy down town area. The parking lot was a little bit far and it gave me a nice little skate to work. One day, after it had rained the day before. I thought it had dried enough and i was feeling really good on my board. So I get to the point where there is a hill and i have to make a sharp turn into an alley. Well of course the alley was much wetter than the street. My board slides out from under me and my khaki colored pants are immediately soaking wet and covered in dirt and asphalt. Had to go into work and tell my boss i fell off my skateboard and needed to go change clothes. I was 26
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very recent slam theres this concrete/brick ledge with like bushes and plants in it in front of the university library that i can pretty much 5050 every try. Last time i went to campus there was a whole line of people there waiting to get covid tests. I was cruising thru so i thought i'd do a quick 5050 and impress somebody. As soon as i pop a squirrel comes running out of the bush right into where i was gonna land to grind so i kick the board away, land feet on the wax, slip out backwards and land folded on the ground :(
other than that yeah just like throwing down ur board with newish trucks and theyre still tight and u try to turn and it doesn't turn and u end up looking stupid as u either run off the board or do a couple really shitty pushes to catch ur balance
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Trying to run out of a bailed something-or- other off of bump/boob at the (reasonably busy) skatepark. Stepped on the tail and the board shot straight up as I was lurching forward. The nose hit me straight in the throat. Couldn’t talk for about fifteen minutes.
Not a slam, but I also threw my back out once just hopping on my board at the same park. Couldn’t move to get off and had to ride down a bank and into the flow bowl until I slowly came to a stop. I used my board as a cane to make it to my car. Two young kids saw the whole thing and looked at me like I was from another planet.
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I was cruising around by the waterfront in Yokohama, and decided to cruise through the automatic doors to a mall and then get off my board.
Turns out I didn’t see the black mat just inside the doors and my wheels just dug in and stopped, and I was pitched right onto the floor inside, everyone looking at this this idiot white guy
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Rolling drop in at my local concrete. 3 foot quarter with no coping. But kinda has "coping" because years of grinding. Anyways, I was learning them and felt confident after doing like 15 throughout the day. I say fuck it I'm gonna charge at it and lock in a good grind before dropping. Front truck locks and I get chucked to the bottom and it fucking sucked. I madea audible thud, my homies were like uhhhhhhh you okay? I got up and went home, hahahhahah. I was over it.
Roll ins are a poor risk reward equation. You rolled in? Yay! You get completely fucked up on a roll in? Worth it?
I've never been comfortable rolling in on anything bigger than 4 feet and if the run up wasn't frontside then fuck it completely.
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I bailed a trick at the park, grabbed my board and went to run back up the 4 foot quarter. Foot slipped on the tranny and I went to catch the coping with my hand but instead punched the coping and broke my hand pretty good. Because I didn’t catch the coping with my hand my chin caught it and split open. Felt like a real dork.
Another one I left the pub pretty hammered. Threw my board down and went to push. Must have kicked the wheel because next thing the ground was coming straight for me. Didn’t have time to do anything about it. Skidded on my face for about a metre. I was almost too drunk to notice so I just get up and walk home as I hear a girl across the street say “holy shit is he ok”. Then I hear some guy say “well he got up and kept walking...”.
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anytime you slam in front of a bus, bus station, bus exit, or into a bus driver coming out of his bus.
anytime people approach you afterwards asking you if you need help(i don't, not never, and you should, too).
anytime, for some reason, my pants weren't closed properly and my penis was visible for the glimpse of a second.
antime you fall on your spine or get credit carded and are not sure if you shat your pants or are about to.
slamming ollieing up a sidewalk always feels embarassing when it happens, no matter why. it's the best when you land in the perfect crack to stop you dead in your tracks.
slamming while skitching a car or bus all cool and chill.
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Expand Quote
Rolling drop in at my local concrete. 3 foot quarter with no coping. But kinda has "coping" because years of grinding. Anyways, I was learning them and felt confident after doing like 15 throughout the day. I say fuck it I'm gonna charge at it and lock in a good grind before dropping. Front truck locks and I get chucked to the bottom and it fucking sucked. I madea audible thud, my homies were like uhhhhhhh you okay? I got up and went home, hahahhahah. I was over it.
Roll ins are a poor risk reward equation. You rolled in? Yay! You get completely fucked up on a roll in? Worth it?
I've never been comfortable rolling in on anything bigger than 4 feet and if the run up wasn't frontside then fuck it completely.
Roll ins and blunt fakies have fucked me up way worse than any other tricks. When that shit goes wrong you just get thrown to flat.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KhNSEmptXvQ&ab_channel=FUCKGINOnPOPS
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Pants fell down mid slappy once, that was a bit embarrassing.
Non-skating embarrassment that just happened recently: I was walking in the mall and some tough guy turd was mad dogging me for no reason so I stared him down too and I ended up slipping because my converse were wet. I didn't fall but I looked regular as fuck trying to catch myself.
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One time I bought a 6 pack of beers in glass bottles and skated back to my cousins house. I rolled off a curb but I didn't realize that the pavement in front of it was so fucked up and crusty. My back wheels got caught and I eat shit hard and all of the bottles break. There were 2 drivers at stop signs that witnessed this and I just skated off and left my broken beers and dignity in the street.
I had a similar experience but with a 12er luckily 7 of them didn’t break
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Trying to run out of a bailed something-or- other off of bump/boob at the (reasonably busy) skatepark. Stepped on the tail and the board shot straight up as I was lurching forward. The nose hit me straight in the throat. Couldn’t talk for about fifteen minutes.
Not a slam, but I also threw my back out once just hopping on my board at the same park. Couldn’t move to get off and had to ride down a bank and into the flow bowl until I slowly came to a stop. I used my board as a cane to make it to my car. Two young kids saw the whole thing and looked at me like I was from another planet.
I hope you’re back is better and thanks for the chuckle
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KhNSEmptXvQ&ab_channel=FUCKGINOnPOPS
this is me approaching any hubba nowadays, too. it's called getting into woodworking, but makes you put more effort in having a nice push going.
Pants fell down mid slappy once, that was a bit embarrassing.
Non-skating embarrassment that just happened recently: I was walking in the mall and some tough guy turd was mad dogging me for no reason so I stared him down too and I ended up slipping because my converse were wet. I didn't fall but I looked regular as fuck trying to catch myself.
lmao, thx for the mall story.
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Showed up at the park one day with my brother. Put my board down, did a kickturn on a quarter, went to manual a curb and caught my back truck and just ragdolled onto the curb and twisted my ankle. As I was laying there a kid rolled up to me and said, "How long have you been skating?" (I'm 45 and have been skating for 31 years.) It was the insult to the injury that made it noteworthy.
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Showed up at the park one day with my brother. Put my board down, did a kickturn on a quarter, went to manual a curb and caught my back truck and just ragdolled onto the curb and twisted my ankle. As I was laying there a kid rolled up to me and said, "How long have you been skating?" (I'm 45 and have been skating for 31 years.) It was the insult to the injury that made it noteworthy.
I would have gone with “five minutes” since you just got there. And then yelled GET OFF MY LAWN!
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very recent slam theres this concrete/brick ledge with like bushes and plants in it in front of the university library that i can pretty much 5050 every try. Last time i went to campus there was a whole line of people there waiting to get covid tests. I was cruising thru so i thought i'd do a quick 5050 and impress somebody. As soon as i pop a squirrel comes running out of the bush right into where i was gonna land to grind so i kick the board away, land feet on the wax, slip out backwards and land folded on the ground :(
Love the thought process/optimism in how you think doing a random 5050 is going to impress a bunch of people who are waiting to find out whether their next 2 weeks/health/work could be jeopardized by having rona. Made me smile at least, fair play for trying haha
Also a lot of you guys seem like skating with/infront of your girlfriends a whole lot. Never really got that too much, especially bringing your girl/guy to a DIY if they don't skate, like whaaaat
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I broke my wrist because of 40 mm Wheels and a pebble
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My most embarrassing slam was when I was skating down the sidewalk at Pershing Square: There were two cute girls coming in my direction, I hit a little teeny tiny piece of pebble and went flying.
The sidewalk has a row of bushes on either side, and when my body hit the sidewalk I must have disturbed a rat nest because two fucking rats came scurrying out, they just crossed the sidewalk from one bush to the other. That part was scary, but of course the two girls screamed when they saw the rats and EVERYONE in downtown LA turned to look at the fat skateboarder laying on the sidewalk in front of the two girls screaming. *Shudder*
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Skating down a hill in Ithaca following my gf to a bar. A caravan of drunk college girls started following behind me down the hill honking their horn and yelling shit. Wouldn’t get off my ass so I went to Ollie up the curb onto the sidewalk, hit a crack and went down hard. They stopped, laughed at me think someone was recording then drove off. My gf wanted to fight them lol
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this is me in the second clip after the drop-in to the sand. vertically clotheslined myself on the edge of a solid steel door as a resident of the house we were skating opened it. after i flew onto the concrete they silently stared at me in shock. i stood up and said "sorry we're leaving" without making eye contact. embarrassing because every chode in town with an Instagram felt the need to tell me they saw this and ask "how it feels to be on hall of meat" with a straight face. and people for months after wanting to bring it up to people around me, "did he show you this clip yet??!!" honestly gets a little old having a document of you at your most abject and vulnerable making the people around you mindlessly entertained. more annoying when its someone who doesn't skate pointing and laughing.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BtMZInqH0jY/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link (sorry don't know how to embed)
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this is me in the second clip after the drop-in to the sand. vertically clotheslined myself on the edge of a solid steel door as a resident of the house we were skating opened it. after i flew onto the concrete they silently stared at me in shock. i stood up and said "sorry we're leaving" without making eye contact. embarrassing because every chode in town with an Instagram felt the need to tell me they saw this and ask "how it feels to be on hall of meat" with a straight face. and people for months after wanting to bring it up to people around me, "did he show you this clip yet??!!" honestly gets a little old having a document of you at your most abject and vulnerable making the people around you mindlessly entertained. more annoying when its someone who doesn't skate pointing and laughing.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BtMZInqH0jY/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link (sorry don't know how to embed)
Ouch.
Be proud my friend. That was gnarly, right into the door.
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this is me in the second clip after the drop-in to the sand. vertically clotheslined myself on the edge of a solid steel door as a resident of the house we were skating opened it. after i flew onto the concrete they silently stared at me in shock. i stood up and said "sorry we're leaving" without making eye contact. embarrassing because every chode in town with an Instagram felt the need to tell me they saw this and ask "how it feels to be on hall of meat" with a straight face. and people for months after wanting to bring it up to people around me, "did he show you this clip yet??!!" honestly gets a little old having a document of you at your most abject and vulnerable making the people around you mindlessly entertained. more annoying when its someone who doesn't skate pointing and laughing.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BtMZInqH0jY/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link (sorry don't know how to embed)
thats hilarious, ive seen that clip before. looks like it woulda stung for a while
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Expand Quote
this is me in the second clip after the drop-in to the sand. vertically clotheslined myself on the edge of a solid steel door as a resident of the house we were skating opened it. after i flew onto the concrete they silently stared at me in shock. i stood up and said "sorry we're leaving" without making eye contact. embarrassing because every chode in town with an Instagram felt the need to tell me they saw this and ask "how it feels to be on hall of meat" with a straight face. and people for months after wanting to bring it up to people around me, "did he show you this clip yet??!!" honestly gets a little old having a document of you at your most abject and vulnerable making the people around you mindlessly entertained. more annoying when its someone who doesn't skate pointing and laughing.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BtMZInqH0jY/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link (sorry don't know how to embed)
thats hilarious, ive seen that clip before. looks like it woulda stung for a while
honestly wasn't that bad, this was first thing in the morning out the door and i skated the entire day after lol
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Best thread in ages. I got two: my friend skates his trucks matt rod loose, bushings chopped in half. I was in local shop and accidentally took his board instead of my own, went out of the door and threw board under me while casually saying bye to homies. One push and front truck got into gnarly wheelbite and I flew, of course there was this most beautiful lady who I ended up knocking down on the street, landed straigh onto her feet and we tumbled down😬 She took it nicely but I felt so bad I just kept saying I’m sorry I’m sorry, took my stuff and went back to shop embaressed as hell... Other one was first time I tried longboard, on main street busy saturday with shitloads of people around. Pushed like 100meters and after one succesfull powerful push on my second push I kicked straight to my backwheel as I’m used to regular boards and not wheels sticking out like crazy. Board stopped and I again on the air I was, had a walk of shame after that as it was slightly downhill and those 70mm+ wheels just kept rolling, had to walk pretty far to get on to it. Lesson learned, don’t do longboards.
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If there’s a rock I will fucking find it.
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I was ollieing up a small marble fountain on the local plaza in my hometown, i was doing it consistently enough to get careless, there is a small crevice between the edge of the fountain and the marble pad that you land on, i managed to get my two back wheels stuck on the crevice and slammed hard on the fountain. I got up and continued skating normally, the next day the area where my tailbone is, was hurting like hell when sitting on chairs and getting up. I found out i cracked a bit of my tailbone on a stupid ollie up a fountain. It continued to hurt like hell for 5 or 6 months after that.
BTW this is the fountain/spot where i cracked my tailbone
(https://redesuper.com.br/amplificador/files/2015/11/Amplificador_Pra%C3%A7aDaAssembleia.jpg)
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There's a shelter at my local with two benches facing one another underneath it, one day I was just fucking around and tried a variation of a hippie jump where I ran across both benches, and as I went to jump back on my board I smacked my forehead on one of the inner beams and landed on my back. Surprisingly it didn't really hurt that much given the solid thud my head made..
As for actually embarrassing, I recall hitting a pebble and eating shit at a bus interchange packed with kids finishing school for the day.
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Expand Quote
Expand Quote
this is me in the second clip after the drop-in to the sand. vertically clotheslined myself on the edge of a solid steel door as a resident of the house we were skating opened it. after i flew onto the concrete they silently stared at me in shock. i stood up and said "sorry we're leaving" without making eye contact. embarrassing because every chode in town with an Instagram felt the need to tell me they saw this and ask "how it feels to be on hall of meat" with a straight face. and people for months after wanting to bring it up to people around me, "did he show you this clip yet??!!" honestly gets a little old having a document of you at your most abject and vulnerable making the people around you mindlessly entertained. more annoying when its someone who doesn't skate pointing and laughing.
** (sorry don't know how to embed)
thats hilarious, ive seen that clip before. looks like it woulda stung for a while
honestly wasn't that bad, this was first thing in the morning out the door and i skated the entire day after lol
But at least the run up looks steezy. What were you going to do?
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Few years ago found an "unseen new spot" riding my bike to lunch; a small uphill/bank with construction work street gap on top of it. Perfect concrete/asphalt, was planning all kinds of tricks over the gap in my head. Went back another day with my board completely stoked to film something. There was some bike and bus traffic on the road, and a bus stop nearby. As soon as one load of bus passengers had entered their bus, started pushing on the smooth flat for initial ollie. Wanted to do it on fast speed, and the bus was riding next to me. What I did not notice at all was the 2cm step in beginning of the bank because of stone slab leveling up from concrete... So full body slam in high speed into the bank, with busload of people watching it happen from 3 meters distance. Luckily only lots of road rash and some bruises.
Had to back with some Plastic Padding and fix it, but the bank just made the gap harder after all.
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We've all had those falls. Maybe you were trying to impress someone, or wrecked on something easy. What's the one slam where you lost all dignity?
For me I was skating on a smooth cement walkway in a public park. There was a covered area with picnic tables and a kids birthday party. I was trying to be all cool and really push a carve around a corner in this bend in the path. I leaned too hard and flung myself into some dirt on my side. I would have stayed down - but the entire birthday party was pointing and laughing at me. I collected myself, got up, and skated away like nothing happened, even though my elbow and knee both hurt.
I provided more entertainment than any balloon animal making clown ever could.
This isn’t a slam but I hate when your wheels hit into a small pebble infront of everyone and you fall forward. Just makes me look like a fool of myself
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It was mid scandinavian summer and i was skating the path through a large public park on saturday afternoon to meet friends. People everywhere, jogging, sunbathing chicks and folk generally enjoying the sunshine. Trying to look cool and enjoying the attention, i was skating fast and trying to get that elongated and accentuated push (you know what i mean). I leaned into a bend in the path and hit some moss/lichen and completely slid out, landed hard and rolled, scraping upå my arm in the process. There were alot of onlookers and some lady came and asked if i was ok and i pretended i was, even though i was bleeding. Got up and skated away 'normally'.
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One of my most embarrassing slams is also one of my favorites.
About 5 years ago I sold my house and before I moved overseas indefinitely I rented a cheap room in a shitty share accom right in the city in my home town for a summer. I didn't work, I just went swimming and hung out till the temperature was nice and then skated for hours on end every single day. It was the best time of my life.
On my last night skating before leaving I wanted to get at least one trick at all my favourite spots, some I'd been skating for more than 20 years, some I might not ever get to skate again. In a minor miracle for a skater as deeply untalented as I am I skated really well that night. I rattled off old favorite tricks at classic haunts and knocked out some new stuff I'd never done without any battles, no slams, I had the juice.
I pushed around around taking it all in till I could barely stand and life was beautiful.
I stopped at the supermarket on my way home and bought a bunch of my favourite foods for dinner to celebrate the end of an era and grabbed a huge slushie for good measure. I was going a pretty good speed down a mellow hill on the footpath with two bags of shopping and a full slushie in my hands when I saw two dudes walking up the street towards me. We were coming towards a bottleneck in the path but I thought I could throw an extra push in speed up and make it around them. I hit a rock and flung myself into the ground right in front of them, they had to jump out of the way as I skidded to a halt right where they were, slushie all over me, shopping scattered to the winds, skin off and bleeding on both arms and legs. One of the guys was asking if I was okay and helping me pick up my stuff, the other guy stood there looking traumatized by what he saw and just said "fuck that man" in disbelief that anyone would willingly set foot on a skateboard and risk something like that happening.
It was awful, but it was also kind of the perfect denouement to my night and that time in my life. Slamming is part of skating, you can't have one without the other ,yin and yang . Life is beautiful.
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When I was like 14, someone brought a tiny rail to our local spot. We placed it off the sidewalk and I rolled up to it but somehow I allowed the nose of my board to get under the rail before popping an ollie, so I pretty much flung myself and slammed my stomach into the rail knocking all the wind out of myself. It was such a gnarly slam for such a tiny rail, my friends were laughing pretty hard as I laid on the ground trying to breathe.
Another slam that same year, was gonna nollie down a 4 stair which I would do pretty often, but this time my front wheels got caught on a small pavement crack and I again flung myself down the stairs knocking all the wind out of myself in front of friends.
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The only slam I ever talk about. Bombing a hill a year ago on some tiny wheels and new thunders which I hadn’t rode yet. Right in front of this little kid. Never slammed going so fast in my life and I’m not in my prime. Broke my hand, fell on my hip so hard. My hand hurt but I thought it was just the asphalt in my hand. My hip was what really hurt at first. When I got home twice my leg got stuck in a weird position. But then when I slept my hand kept me up.
It was the simplest shit and I slammed like crazy in front of that kid, his dad and some cars.
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One time I just finished a line in this mini bowl (like the deep is only 6') and was standing on my board at the edge of the bowl looking at my phone, and all of a sudden I just fall into the deep, head first. I fucking hit my head hard at the bottom of the concrete bowl and all 3 people at the park watched me do this and were tripping out asking if I was good. Luckily my skull is harder than Wolverine's adamantium because I didn't even get a concussion from it, just embarrassment. I still don't understand how I walked away uninjured from a 12 foot fall head first on concrete lol.
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warming up on a small 2 flat 3 that we'd seshed before - hit a pebble at the top, flew to the flat, literally bounced off the flat and my fetal position body cleared the 3 stair at the bottom. bolts. no toe drag.
homies laughed about it for months and there wasn't even footy
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i was skating around Ayala park a week or two ago and was fucking around and did a flatground trick and somehow my back foot didn't connect with the board and stuck on the ground and i sat on my knee while rolling my ankle at the same time.
There was a group of about 15 people all posted against the wall i was skating towards and there was a collective groan from all of them as i tweaked my leg. Now your boy has a fractured ankle and a bum knee. shalom
edit - this is essentially how i looked on the ground lol
(http://www.drbookspan.com/images/HeroPose.jpg)
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I was skating to class. Was riding this cruiser board. There was this hole I thought I could roll over since I had the bigger, softer wheels. Boy I was wrong. Got caught up in that hole and took a slam straight to my face. Couldn't put my hands down as I was holding my lunch, which was flying everywhere. This girl that was sitting on the bench nearby just gasped. I just picked myself up, grabbed everything and went to class. Put up my hoody so people couldn't see my face since it was scraped up.
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Tried to lip slide a tiny bump to bar and clipped. I didn't even try to put my arms out and smacked my chin, breaking my tooth in the process. This was in front of a group of younger skatepark girls. I picked my board up and went to through it down and missed, falling again. 16 year old me was bummed as shit that day.
Also this has to be posted in this thread for good measure
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NulgtJrRfPQ
came here to post this, let's include that one too
8:44
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=id5ynpjxkqM&ab_channel=veganxbones (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=id5ynpjxkqM&ab_channel=veganxbones)
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One night when I was maybe 22 and living in Mission Hill Boston I accidentally grabbed my roommates board instead of my own to skate to the 7-11. I was really high and drunk having a blast bombing a little hill and decided to ollie a manhole cover. Mid ollie I realized I wasn't on my board and my roommates board was one of those little blue vinyl ones so my back leg completely left the board and I landed in a brutal split sliding down Hillside. Some people watched it happen and they had opinions which they then shared.
My most recent slam is so dumb. It was on a curb slappy noseslide shuv out. I stuck on the shuv and ended up rolling my ankle. I fractured my ankle and tore a tendon.
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Your mom.
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One time I just finished a line in this mini bowl (like the deep is only 6') and was standing on my board at the edge of the bowl looking at my phone, and all of a sudden I just fall into the deep, head first. I fucking hit my head hard at the bottom of the concrete bowl and all 3 people at the park watched me do this and were tripping out asking if I was good. Luckily my skull is harder than Wolverine's adamantium because I didn't even get a concussion from it, just embarrassment. I still don't understand how I walked away uninjured from a 12 foot fall head first on concrete lol.
nightmare fuel
did you slip off the coping?
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nightmare fuel
did you slip off the coping?
Nah I didn't even slip... I just turned into the bowl since my eyes were glued to my phone... it sounds so stupid I wish it was recorded lol
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I was skating a london/euro gap at a slippery indoor park when I was a kid. Just learned how to ollie up stuff.
The ground was concrete, the obstacles all were wooden.
There was this tiny rock just in front of the london gap.
I came with a good amount of speed, wanted to blast a nice ollie.
But I hit this tiny rock right after I crouched down, fell the london gap up, and slided on the ground for a good while.
Michi Mackrodt gave me props for that haha
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Back in mid 00's, skating in front of my house, neighbor pulls up with his friends while we are skating the flatbar. I remember wearing my light grey Shortys shirt. Tony Hawks American wasteland showed me Skitching was the cool shit. I hold onto this dudes Exploder and he guns it. I hold on for 30 or so feet and bail while he doing at least 15mph. Tuck and rolled 10 feet and as my friends run up Im getting off the ground. Elbows got a sweet gash and I cut my forehead above my nose. As I am laughing it off I can't help but notice my friend is staring down at my crotch.
I hit the ground so fucking hard my dick was hanging out the Weiner slot.
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Went to a family reunion when I was 15 it was near a ski hill in Vermont. My family went mountain biking, hiking or just rode ski lifts. I went to the skatepark alone. It had a nice looking pyramid I wanted to session. I pushed at it just to like manual the top. Well there was morning dew on the ramp and I instantly slipped out and landed right on my chin and that bitch split and was bleeding like fucking crazy. I took my shirt off and layed in the grass, walked around and couldn’t find any help for like 4 hours just fucked pissed and embarrassed. My dad had to drive me an hour to get stitched up.
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I have sacked on a metal gas station guard rail in front of a large amount of traffic. They honked their horn in recognition of my fail. You can bruise your taint in ways that won't allow it to heal for a very long time. That was my takeaway.
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I was skating back home in front of hundreds of people from my school. Hit some sand and went flying I had a jacket so nothing was hurt except my ego. Heard a few chuckles and I tried getting up but the damage was done. I made it home but I felt like a complete goober when I got laughed at. Another time I was going down a hill and a car was coming down the hill too. I go to the right and the car passes but I keep going to the right and hit some sand and went flying. It was horrible my shoe flew off and I sprained my wrist. Some guy asked me if I was ok while I was still on the ground which was even more humilating.The wrist still nags me a year afterwards I might need to get an X-ray.
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I just set up a new deck and was pretty gassed on it. So I drove to a park I don’t normally go to because I wanted to give it a shot. I hop out of the car, run and throw down my board and immediately hit a pebble and got fucking tossed.
My hand was still in a cast and recouping from surgery I had a few weeks earlier, so I couldn’t really brace myself and smacked the side of head on the ground.
Knocked myself out, pissed my pants, and my wife had to drive across town to pick me up.