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General Discussion => WHATEVER => Topic started by: DaleSr on May 11, 2021, 03:03:45 PM

Title: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: DaleSr on May 11, 2021, 03:03:45 PM
I saw a bunch of people were talking about their experiences in the church in the Shecks thread and wanted to create a designated place for us to talk it out. It seems like you guys got loads of Jesus trauma like me and it's always cool to talk it out with other people with similar experiences

Bless up
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: friendly dave on May 11, 2021, 03:13:40 PM
(https://i.imgur.com/qLYSJMN.png)

Sorry DaleSr. I was born a snake handler and, I'll die a snake handler.
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: GardenSkater77 on May 11, 2021, 04:19:04 PM
Escape Hell
(https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-iE-nGMNCiyM/Vnxs8tVrVsI/AAAAAAAAdbA/FMF5d_JYyu0/s1600/LennieTitlechrome.jpg)
Quit Sinnin’
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: in love w/ fs shuvs on May 11, 2021, 04:48:33 PM
my parents used to make me go to church on friday evenings and sunday mornings but I started acting like a little shit since I wanted to go skate on friday evenings instead of sit in church. honestly, it was probably one of those things that was good and bad; a lot of my friends got into cigarettes and vapes so it was probably good to have some distance. didnt skate as much as a result but that's ying and yang for ya. good times.

it was also sort of fucked tho cause I thought I was evil for a second since I hated singing and asked too many questions.
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: layzieyez on May 11, 2021, 06:36:18 PM
I was raised baptist. Always at church with my parents every sunday until I was 12 or so.

Then they found out the pastor was using the tithes to illegally buy property in Hawaii.

Also, my dad is catholic.

Neither of my kids have been baptized and I told them if they want to go to a church or follow a religion, it's their choice, but thankfully, they have chosen to abstain.
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: IUTSM on May 11, 2021, 08:09:17 PM
I got turned off from church when I was briefly going to a youth group and this girl said "are your family members of the church?" and I said "well, my parents sign that book when they come to church." She said "yeah, but do they give money? they aren't members if they don't." I was like 11 and stopped going to youth group after that. Totally opened my eyes to some funny business!

But, about exvangelicals, I know it's not the purpose of this thread to tell stories others, buuuut... one of my buddies was raised evangelical in a super conservative county in rural CA, joined marines at young age, got married, had kids by 24. Somehow he became an atheist and decided to go to grad school for social work. this kid was getting smoked by the "woke" folk for social faux pas, but he is so earnest about moving beyond the damage done to him during his upbringing. Dude and his wife have been essentially excommunicated from their families. He's on a journey for sure though, taking psychedelics, playing jazz piano, and doing the good work. But damn, he's got a deep closet of community inflicted fear, guilt, and trauma.

big ups to all y'all taking care and stuff.
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: iKobrakai on May 11, 2021, 10:14:20 PM
I come from the shitty postions of dual religion home.

Would not recommend it... Unless you like being told by retards where you belong...
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: fortunecattlesteakhouse on May 11, 2021, 10:36:41 PM
(https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/291/234/a82.jpg)
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: matty_c on May 12, 2021, 12:49:56 AM
Catholic
Haven’t been to a mass in years but had to go every Sunday as a kid, haven’t been in years but yeah I would 100% still know all the moves hahaha

There’s this weird bit in catholic mass well the whole deals weird but yeah, this part where the priest says shit and everyone says shit back but there’s this bit where he says ‘let us give thanks to the lord our god’ and then everyone gotta say together ‘it is right to give him thanks and praise’

Even as a child I thought that was hella like brainwashing
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: KoRnholio8 on May 12, 2021, 01:13:50 AM
I was a perfect little nerd with straight As in elementary school until the last year when I started skateboarding. I didn't need to study much and most shit came easy. Attended an insane amount of extracurricular activities, except for sports. Bible study (or religion class or something like that) was just one of those activities. I played along and got excellent grades (almost everyone got them).

My father's grandparents are religious, while my mother's are not. I was baptized very late and all the other sacraments were basically done not to offend anyone, no one in my close family really cares about religion. So after elementary school I never went to church again, expect for one wedding. Proud atheist and I don't bear any scars of attending mass, I just find it baffling that adults still believe this shit.

I still have a hard time watching church having a tangible power in political issues at home and abroad. One thing that I have come to realize is that religion is mostly just an escape to find reasons for the harsh life events like disease that pops up randomly in people's lives. It is hard to accept that life essentially has no meaning and people seek a reason to exist for a cause and to belong to a community (so can you really blame them).
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: iKobrakai on May 12, 2021, 02:11:31 AM
Catholic
Haven’t been to a mass in years but had to go every Sunday as a kid, haven’t been in years but yeah I would 100% still know all the moves hahaha

There’s this weird bit in catholic mass well the whole deals weird but yeah, this part where the priest says shit and everyone says shit back but there’s this bit where he says ‘let us give thanks to the lord our god’ and then everyone gotta say together ‘it is right to give him thanks and praise’

Even as a child I thought that was hella like brainwashing

Ah, kind of like ending the sentences in AA/NA...
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: matty_c on May 12, 2021, 02:53:20 AM
Noticed that and left lmao!!
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: DaleSr on May 12, 2021, 03:30:57 AM
I'm gonna just share my bullshit to put it out there as well.

I was literally raised in the church, my parents have both been pastors at different times in my life, they brought me up on stage as an infant and i was "dedicated" to Christ or whatever. My church was a Calvary Chapel, which is an evangelical Christian denomination founded by ex hippies in Southern California in the 60s. Pretty much stock right wing Christian church environment. Started going to school at the church in 4th grade, which i wanted to do because most of my lifelong friends from church went there. But this meant my entire life, social, educational, spiritual, familial, was based around the church. And the entire school was around 250 kids K-12 and like 90% white. I mostly listened to Christian music, was taught Christian curriculum (little things like the earth only being 6000 years old and evolution not being real, how free market libertarianism is the best economic model), was told Barack Obama was Kenyan and the anti Christ by teachers, went on missions trips to other countries to tell em about Jesus (but mostly to go to Costa Rica and Ireland because they're beautiful places).

Most of the teachers, with the exception of one or two, were extremely right wing. We were encouraged as students and given signs protesting prop 8 in California, which was a ballot measure to legalize gay marriage in CA. There's photos of kids in my class holding Bush '04 signs. Our teachers read us stuff from the Drudge Report and Glen Beck in class, and we all had to read Anthem by ayn rand. I was picked on a lot and got hazed at a summer camp where they made me strip and then threw me into a gross pond i got called gay a lot and was pretty homophobic and right wing because it was the only thing i knew and the only people i really knew were like that as well. I have a lesbian aunt who i love and adore, but it didn't really click for me as a kid that she was gay because the way they talked about homosexuality in school and at the church, you'd think they were demon possessed. So it was easy to think they were like that because, how would you know? You've never met one as far as you can tell.

Our school had really weird social mores about dating. You gotta ask a girls dad if you can court them, lots of girls having really unrealistic Disney like ideas about what dating is, us literally knowing nothing and getting no help from pastors other than "pray about it and God will show you if it's meant to be". I also really didn't like myself and all that shame and guilt about being a sinner for doing totally normal and harmless stuff causes you to really self loathe. As a result i had the social skills of a 13 year old at 18 because I'd only had one girlfriend at 17 and all we did was kiss and hold hands. I graduated from Christian high school with a pretty useless diploma, since i didn't even understand high school science or history and was in fact taught total quack nonsense. I then went to Christian College in Portland, and met people who were gay and Christian which challenged my homophobia because they were gay and i loved them. I didn't want them to go to hell. I came back to California though because I also got together with my high school sweetheart and we got to know each other in a biblical sense. And because i felt so guilty about that and thought i wouldn't be welcome back in church, i left the church.

But then the two of us broke up and it crushed my 13 going on 19 year old heart. I had derailed my life to be with her, because Christians take dating so incredibly seriously. So then i went back to church, but a different, younger more hip church. Think like a hillsong or realityla or something like that. I met some cool people who weren't judgemental and so right wing and i thought that was sick. But i still wasn't sure if i still believed it all, but i really wanted my parents to not disown me. I thought that it would be easier to come out as gay than tell them i wasn't a Christian anymore. I wasn't gay but i certainly was feeling like i didn't believe in it anymore. But to make up for that i got really involved in the college group and even interned for them. But I couldn't help but feel like i was a fraud and like i was too fucked up to be Christian. I also had trouble connecting with a lot of these college guys because they all were waiting for marriage and all they wanted to talk about in small groups is how bad they were for looking at risque dagguerotypes on the world wide web. It was clear i didn't really belong there anymore and one day during a worship service i had the thought that if none of it was real, would i still feel ok? Would it change me from wanting to help others and be loving and compassionate if i wasn't a Christian? And when i realized the answer was yes, i would be OK if it wasn't real, i left the church. Left all of it. Some people stopped talking to me which sucked but it let me know what the score was. My family didn't disown me and we have a healthy relationship still. But the environment of full 360 degree church all the time left me fucked up and I'm still working through everything today.

Sorry for the giant wall of text
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: in love w/ fs shuvs on May 12, 2021, 07:09:51 AM
I'm gonna just share my bullshit to put it out there as well.

I was literally raised in the church, my parents have both been pastors at different times in my life, they brought me up on stage as an infant and i was "dedicated" to Christ or whatever. My church was a Calvary Chapel, which is an evangelical Christian denomination founded by ex hippies in Southern California in the 60s. Pretty much stock right wing Christian church environment. Started going to school at the church in 4th grade, which i wanted to do because most of my lifelong friends from church went there. But this meant my entire life, social, educational, spiritual, familial, was based around the church. And the entire school was around 250 kids K-12 and like 90% white. I mostly listened to Christian music, was taught Christian curriculum (little things like the earth only being 6000 years old and evolution not being real, how free market libertarianism is the best economic model), was told Barack Obama was Kenyan and the anti Christ by teachers, went on missions trips to other countries to tell em about Jesus (but mostly to go to Costa Rica and Ireland because they're beautiful places).

Most of the teachers, with the exception of one or two, were extremely right wing. We were encouraged as students and given signs protesting prop 8 in California, which was a ballot measure to legalize gay marriage in CA. There's photos of kids in my class holding Bush '04 signs. Our teachers read us stuff from the Drudge Report and Glen Beck in class, and we all had to read Anthem by ayn rand. I was picked on a lot and got hazed at a summer camp where they made me strip and then threw me into a gross pond i got called gay a lot and was pretty homophobic and right wing because it was the only thing i knew and the only people i really knew were like that as well. I have a lesbian aunt who i love and adore, but it didn't really click for me as a kid that she was gay because the way they talked about homosexuality in school and at the church, you'd think they were demon possessed. So it was easy to think they were like that because, how would you know? You've never met one as far as you can tell.

Our school had really weird social mores about dating. You gotta ask a girls dad if you can court them, lots of girls having really unrealistic Disney like ideas about what dating is, us literally knowing nothing and getting no help from pastors other than "pray about it and God will show you if it's meant to be". I also really didn't like myself and all that shame and guilt about being a sinner for doing totally normal and harmless stuff causes you to really self loathe. As a result i had the social skills of a 13 year old at 18 because I'd only had one girlfriend at 17 and all we did was kiss and hold hands. I graduated from Christian high school with a pretty useless diploma, since i didn't even understand high school science or history and was in fact taught total quack nonsense. I then went to Christian College in Portland, and met people who were gay and Christian which challenged my homophobia because they were gay and i loved them. I didn't want them to go to hell. I came back to California though because I also got together with my high school sweetheart and we got to know each other in a biblical sense. And because i felt so guilty about that and thought i wouldn't be welcome back in church, i left the church.

But then the two of us broke up and it crushed my 13 going on 19 year old heart. I had derailed my life to be with her, because Christians take dating so incredibly seriously. So then i went back to church, but a different, younger more hip church. Think like a hillsong or realityla or something like that. I met some cool people who weren't judgemental and so right wing and i thought that was sick. But i still wasn't sure if i still believed it all, but i really wanted my parents to not disown me. I thought that it would be easier to come out as gay than tell them i wasn't a Christian anymore. I wasn't gay but i certainly was feeling like i didn't believe in it anymore. But to make up for that i got really involved in the college group and even interned for them. But I couldn't help but feel like i was a fraud and like i was too fucked up to be Christian. I also had trouble connecting with a lot of these college guys because they all were waiting for marriage and all they wanted to talk about in small groups is how bad they were for looking at risque dagguerotypes on the world wide web. It was clear i didn't really belong there anymore and one day during a worship service i had the thought that if none of it was real, would i still feel ok? Would it change me from wanting to help others and be loving and compassionate if i wasn't a Christian? And when i realized the answer was yes, i would be OK if it wasn't real, i left the church. Left all of it. Some people stopped talking to me which sucked but it let me know what the score was. My family didn't disown me and we have a healthy relationship still. But the environment of full 360 degree church all the time left me fucked up and I'm still working through everything today.

Sorry for the giant wall of text

U hit the nail on the head. I remember my mom rolled down the windows of her car and yelled yes on prop 8 to some protestors when me and my sister were just kids in the back seat. We all laughed then but now I realize it was kind of fucked up. Some people just hate homosexuals because of the fallout of bad relationships, that's the case for my mom. Her sister was in a bad traditional relationship where she was beaten and abused. The dude left her with three kids. She said fuck it too and bailed on em to go experiment with women and left them in a broken down home. My mom stepped in to care for em and had to deal with suicide attempts and sad shit like that for years during some of her best years of youth.

I think the worse part of Christianity is that you must conform and that you cannot ask questions. But it's good for some people I guess, being able to go to someone bigger than you who is somewhat in control or to congregations is an anchor and helps them cope with reality. Religion is a nice outlet. Especially for the older adults who have been scarred by life. I think it's like akin to skateboarding for some, it's just something you picked up and is always there for you in a time of need.
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: Prinzy on May 12, 2021, 07:38:28 AM
Spent 12 years in Catholic schooling and can confirm shit is unhealthy and counterproductive.

My parents aren’t overly religious, we never went to mass on Sunday’s except holidays and faith was rarely talked about in my house. They sent me to catholic school more so because they went as kids and compared to the lackluster public school in my district, I’d receive a “better” education.

Like many other homies have shared in this thread, the faiths ties with politics fucked me up way more than the actual faith did. I remember when I started looking into politics and world affairs as a 12/13 year old and knowing everyone around me was conservative politically, I just figured I was too. I was thinking “I’m a pretty reserved dude, I must be conservative cause that’s what that word means.”

It wasn’t until the summer going into high school I started doing theater as an extracurricular. I loved it. Met so many quality friends I still have to this day almost 10 years later, shit was awesome for me. It also exposed me to many people who were LGBTQ+. This was around the time gay marriage was up for legalization in the states and the majority of my all boys Catholic high school were very against it, as the f-slur was probably the most commonly used noun amongst the student body. I remember immediately questioning what being a conservative was cause I was appalled by the homophobia. I was just thinking how could all these suburban jock white dudes hate some of my best friends solely cause they’re gay?

Another major issue was just how narrow of a scope Catholic communities have on culture and interests. I didn’t get into skating until mid high school because that just wasn’t really encouraged by the community. Not many kids in my grade school skated because it was looked down upon so heavily, and the ones that did weren’t really skaters, just more so dirt bike/snowboard dudes that happened to own a Black Label complete.

I could go on and on, but I’ll stop there. It’s pretty crazy how suppressive a Catholic community can be without outwardly telling you to feel a type of way about something. Nobody ever told me to be homophobic or racist (my mom told me quite the opposite actually) but the fact that the Catholic community I grew up in were those things, i just kinda fell into it before I was old enough to know better. Still bothers me I used to say the f-slur a lot. Word has been scrubbed from my vocabulary for years now, but still it irks me.

Lots of other good stories in here, really appreciate everyone sharing. Sorry if I rambled, just never really discussed this with anyone besides my mom when I graduated high school. Thankfully, we both agree that if we could do it over again, I would’ve gone to the shitty public school.
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: Miller92 on May 12, 2021, 07:41:53 AM
Went to church literally every Sunday from 0-16.  Parents are HELLA Christian.  Very good and kind people but backward as fuck with their social politics and acceptance.

Right-wing evangelical shit..

I'm sitting there from 8-16 years old (closeted gay kid, very masculine and straight passing) being told I'm demon-possessed and I'm an abomination doomed to hell.  I'm talking a sermon about this once a month for what seems like my whole childhood.  My internal guilt was immeasurable.

Parents were so confused why I didn't believe in god anymore at 21.

Parents were dumbfounded when I told them I don't agree with conservative ideology politically.

Parents were completely blindsided when their womanizing 25-year-old son came out as gay to them.

It's like my parents were so caught up in being good Christians they forgot to be good parents? 

The church wrecked my perception of self-worth.  Literally would cry every night as a kid praying to god to be straight.

A whole mess of trauma.  Not to mention, aside from the whole gay thing, I never once in my life bought into any of it.

Finding skateboarding at 11 was my new religion and it saved my life.

As I've gotten older I tend to bite my tongue when religion is brought up but holy shit I think all religion is terrible and is truly the root cause of most of the suffering in this world.
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: HeavyAndExpensive on May 12, 2021, 07:55:43 AM
I went to a Catholic school as a matter or course for 13 years. I knew something was up when, at around the 2nd grade I came to a realization that religion/God definitely wasn't for me. You are constantly told that "God loves you" and that you must "love God." Now, I was only 7 or so but my logic was like this: I KNOW I love my mom and dad and little brother etc - I imagined something horrible happening to them and felt sad, real human emotions and responses to someone you love dying. Then I thought about how I'm supposed to love God vs how I feel about my family and realized I feel nothing towards this "God." I felt no sadness at the thought of the "death of God", no sadness at the thought of God not loving me, pure indifference.
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: Gene_Harrogate on May 12, 2021, 07:56:14 AM
Not evangelical, but was raised, baptized, and confirmed as a Catholic, served as an alter boy and everything . Church, and an hour of Sunday school was mandatory every week.  Around the time I was in middle school I started looking for every excuse in the book not to go, sleeping in hoping dad would forget and leave without me, feigning sick, but it never worked. For us, and I think a lot of other catholic families, going to church is just what is expected of you so you do it whether you like it or not and don't question it, you just go, and when you grow up and have kids they're going to go too.  Sort of to @matty_c 's point, aside from the priests sermon, every single part of mass is exactly the same every week.  So much so that it gets to a point where you just drone along with prayers and responses.  By the time I was 17-18 I was fully over it and my parents knew they weren't going to be able to make me keep going, so they didn't push it.  Also by this point, cases of molestation by priests and the church covering it up had really started being brought to light.  So add that disillusionment with an institution I'd spent my whole life in, and the fact that I never really had faith in the first place, it was a done deal. 
    I'm in my late 30's now and haven't gone to church regularly in almost 20 years, and I don't believe in god, but I'd never say that to my parents because I think they'd be bummed (even though I think they kind of know). I guess I still carry some of that catholic guilt!
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: in love w/ fs shuvs on May 12, 2021, 08:06:40 AM
I didn't really mind most of the shit taught but it got so old so fast. There's like only one bible and a lot of that shit is mid. It's just random stories about randos in history. That shit is ill-equipped for providing solutions to modern problems. I had a lot of questions about environmentalism and mindless consumption that the bible/teachers weren't able to answer. I came to realize you can't just pray problems away (coronavirus, etc.); it's up to us to fix our own problems. If someone doesn't roll up their sleeves and get down and dirty, no one else will.

If you ask too many questions tho, it's just labeled blasphemous or something and you end up like a black sheep. Shits stupid. People have done the most fucked up shit in the name of god (crusades, colonizing, manifest destiny). Cant wait for Christianity to go extinct.
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: DaleSr on May 12, 2021, 09:01:58 AM

Nobody ever told me to be homophobic or racist (my mom told me quite the opposite actually) but the fact that the Catholic community I grew up in were those things, i just kinda fell into it before I was old enough to know better. Still bothers me I used to say the f-slur a lot. Word has been scrubbed from my vocabulary for years now, but still it irks me.


Bingo. We have a winner. My mom isn't racist. My dad... Definitely has some moments. But the whole community i was raised in, certainly let's some stuff slip every once and a while.


I also used to use the r slur and f slur a ton and just call things "gay" if i thought it was lame and i had to consciously work really hard to eliminate those words from my vocabulary as well as just eliminate them from being my subconscious response to say
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: companguero on May 12, 2021, 09:37:49 AM
I also used to use the r slur

Honest question: What is the r slur?

You can hide it in the spoiler tag if you’d like to remain respectful
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: DaleSr on May 12, 2021, 09:45:59 AM
Expand Quote
I also used to use the r slur
[close]

Honest question: What is the r slur?


You can hide it in the spoiler tag if you’d like to remain respectful

Sorry but you are not allowed to view spoiler contents.
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: IUTSM on May 12, 2021, 11:06:27 AM
Catholic
Haven’t been to a mass in years but had to go every Sunday as a kid, haven’t been in years but yeah I would 100% still know all the moves hahaha

There’s this weird bit in catholic mass well the whole deals weird but yeah, this part where the priest says shit and everyone says shit back but there’s this bit where he says ‘let us give thanks to the lord our god’ and then everyone gotta say together ‘it is right to give him thanks and praise’

Even as a child I thought that was hella like brainwashing

I've got a strange soft spot in me for catholic ritual even though I was never forced to go to Catholic church.

The smallish city (60-70k people) I grew up in had a lot of Catholic Churches (Sacred Heart, Our Lady of Lourdes, St. Anthonys, St. Andrews, St. Marys, St. Jude, Holy Family, St. Jaques, Immaculate Conception are just what I can think of) that were all skate able in one way or another. There were 3 or 4 parochial schools that had skate spots too. I'd always be peeping the stained glass windows at the spots. Aside from that, when I was in my late teens-mid 20s, I got paid by a large Diocese for working at their day camp and group homes for kids. The sisters were the only religious folks who interacted with the kids, ever and there was absolutely no dogma/religion outside the names of the organizations. Both places were sheer madness a lot of the time, but gave poor kids a place to go. A lot of Catholic nuns, at least the old ass sisters I've met, were really intelligent, forward thinking people with hearts of gold who just couldn't get around the God thing. TBH, I've wondered if many of hem were old school Lesbians who needed a way to gain an education and do humanitarian work. I reckon my views come from not having shit shoved down my throat my whole life too...
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: RCB3 on May 12, 2021, 01:50:05 PM
Grew up in an evangelical house and was super into all the end times stuff and those Left Behind books. It wasn't even until college when I realized the whole idea of the rapture didn't come about until the 1800's.

If you get the chance, listen to NPR's Throughline: The Evangelical Vote. It's a super fascinating look into how evangelicalism came to the US and how it was used in politics.

Also, it's so insane to me how the church can tell people who are gay that they're welcome to come to their church, but aren't allowed to be on church stuff or hold positions within the church. I feel like that's almost worse than just saying you're not welcome.

I'll still go to church to appease my parents on Easter or the in-laws on holidays, but also drew a line with my family that I won't step foot in a non-affirming church. Someone once made the point that it's like going to a restaurant as a white person in which the restaurant doesn't serve black people. You'd do whatever you could to not support that establishment, so I will never do anything that would support a homophobic church.
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: Easy Slider on May 12, 2021, 02:24:13 PM
I am an ex-exvangelical. I grew up in an evangelical household and church and did the routine but also truly believed in God. However, as a teenager I slowly drifted away from the church until I stopped attending altogether and for the next 20 years I rarely set my foot into a church (except for weddings and funerals) and never even opened the Bible. I did not lose my faith tho and kept praying. Sure enough I got into partying, smoking, drinking etc. I managed to get a job and also got married but I certainly drank too much.

Then, almost five years ago, my wife became interested in God and we attended a few evenings in a church in my city (not the one I grew up) and then started attending regularly. A year later we both got baptized into this church, which is a small evangelical outfit with Anabaptist roots. I also started reading the Bible on a regular basis and praying with my wife. My life has changed quite dramatically since: I stopped smoking (cigs and weed), drinking and some other things. The strange thing about it is that no one forced me to do it and I didn't even force myself, it just happened. In my eyes, it is my renewed relation with Jesus that caused this.

Now kook me if you must  ;D
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: Fhk on May 12, 2021, 02:40:12 PM
I am an ex-exvangelical. I grew up in an evangelical household and church and did the routine but also truly believed in God. However, as a teenager I slowly drifted away from the church until I stopped attending altogether and for the next 20 years I rarely set my foot into a church (except for weddings and funerals) and never even opened the Bible. I did not lose my faith tho and kept praying. Sure enough I got into partying, smoking, drinking etc. I managed to get a job and also got married but I certainly drank too much.

Then, almost five years ago, my wife became interested in God and we attended a few evenings in a church in my city (not the one I grew up) and then started attending regularly. A year later we both got baptized into this church, which is a small evangelical outfit with Anabaptist roots. I also started reading the Bible on a regular basis and praying with my wife. My life has changed quite dramatically since: I stopped smoking (cigs and weed), drinking and some other things. The strange thing about it is that no one forced me to do it and I didn't even force myself, it just happened. In my eyes, it is my renewed relation with Jesus that caused this.

Now kook me if you must  ;D
Any Pals that feel the need to kook you because of your faith or any other reason that causes no harm or disrespect to others is an idiot. Good for you for having the nuggets to speak your mind without fear of judgement.
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: SneakySecrets on May 12, 2021, 02:46:49 PM
Grew up Catholic, even went through Confirmation. Was never into it whatsoever and stopped going the millisecond I could, but I don’t have any personal grudge against the church. 

There were some fruitloops, probable sex offenders, hypocrites etc, but also a lot of really kind, sincere, solid religious people as well. 

I’ve often felt a little jealous that I could never believe like them because there really are a lot of benefits: big social network of likeminded people, structure, sense of belonging, automatic meaning and purpose to your life... seems kinda nice.

Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: EdLawndale on May 12, 2021, 03:44:58 PM
I had my first communion and became an alter boy for a period.

The funniest thing I ever remember was there was this family with three sons who were all super agro about the whole affair. One time while being an alter boy, I fumbled the bible on the way to the alter and it bounced on the ground. As I bent down to pick it up, I remember hearing one boy remark loudly from the front row, "He dropped the book! You never drop the book!!!"

He got busted for a DUI later in life.

Nowadays, I only go inside churches for funerals, really.
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: DaleSr on May 12, 2021, 05:52:29 PM
I am an ex-exvangelical. I grew up in an evangelical household and church and did the routine but also truly believed in God. However, as a teenager I slowly drifted away from the church until I stopped attending altogether and for the next 20 years I rarely set my foot into a church (except for weddings and funerals) and never even opened the Bible. I did not lose my faith tho and kept praying. Sure enough I got into partying, smoking, drinking etc. I managed to get a job and also got married but I certainly drank too much.

Then, almost five years ago, my wife became interested in God and we attended a few evenings in a church in my city (not the one I grew up) and then started attending regularly. A year later we both got baptized into this church, which is a small evangelical outfit with Anabaptist roots. I also started reading the Bible on a regular basis and praying with my wife. My life has changed quite dramatically since: I stopped smoking (cigs and weed), drinking and some other things. The strange thing about it is that no one forced me to do it and I didn't even force myself, it just happened. In my eyes, it is my renewed relation with Jesus that caused this.

Now kook me if you must  ;D

No one is gonna kook you, if it works for you, then great. It worked for all the people who were at church and enjoying it. But for a lot of us out was damaging and bad. But I'm glad you found a church that makes you happy
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: Wheelbyte on May 13, 2021, 03:11:52 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wp1rL7DI_D4
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: Easy Slider on May 13, 2021, 03:38:48 AM
Expand Quote
I am an ex-exvangelical. I grew up in an evangelical household and church and did the routine but also truly believed in God. However, as a teenager I slowly drifted away from the church until I stopped attending altogether and for the next 20 years I rarely set my foot into a church (except for weddings and funerals) and never even opened the Bible. I did not lose my faith tho and kept praying. Sure enough I got into partying, smoking, drinking etc. I managed to get a job and also got married but I certainly drank too much.

Then, almost five years ago, my wife became interested in God and we attended a few evenings in a church in my city (not the one I grew up) and then started attending regularly. A year later we both got baptized into this church, which is a small evangelical outfit with Anabaptist roots. I also started reading the Bible on a regular basis and praying with my wife. My life has changed quite dramatically since: I stopped smoking (cigs and weed), drinking and some other things. The strange thing about it is that no one forced me to do it and I didn't even force myself, it just happened. In my eyes, it is my renewed relation with Jesus that caused this.

Now kook me if you must  ;D
[close]

No one is gonna kook you, if it works for you, then great. It worked for all the people who were at church and enjoying it. But for a lot of us out was damaging and bad. But I'm glad you found a church that makes you happy



Thanks. I think that‘s an important point: It‘s not the particular church you attend that will make you happy. As a matter of fact and as some of the posts in this thread show, a lot of churches got a lot of things wrong, traumatizing and even abusing people. Even the church I attend is far from perfect. Ideally the church is a place to fellowship with other believers, but it is the personal faith in Jesus Christ that counts and will make all the difference.
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: matty_c on May 13, 2021, 05:02:58 AM
I got caned in primary school by the vice principal and maybe ten years later cunts in the paper for being a pedo
He was a teacher though

I know two priests from school and I don’t reckon they’re pedos, was doing a bathroom a couple years ago and one of them was living next door, that was kind of cool to see him. He was this cool young priest when I was a kid and he’s got a pretty big parish now but yeah poor bugger seemed mad disillusioned with his life choices

The other ones old as fuck now and I haven’t seen him for years but my mums still in contact with him, he feels the same way as other one from what I heard

They don’t really look after the old priests too well, at least from what I have seen
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: Wheelbyte on May 13, 2021, 05:38:16 AM
I got caned in primary school by the vice principal and maybe ten years later cunts in the paper for being a pedo
He was a teacher though

I know two priests from school and I don’t reckon they’re pedos, was doing a bathroom a couple years ago and one of them was living next door, that was kind of cool to see him. He was this cool young priest when I was a kid and he’s got a pretty big parish now but yeah poor bugger seemed mad disillusioned with his life choices

The other ones old as fuck now and I haven’t seen him for years but my mums still in contact with him, he feels the same way as other one from what I heard

They don’t really look after the old priests too well, at least from what I have seen

Psychiatrists are #1 career for suicide, guess priests and pastors are like shrinks too. Most of the time people go mental from shit food and drink.
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: TwisT on May 13, 2021, 07:41:41 AM
I was lucky. Never liked church just because it was just boring. We moved states and never found a new church so I was good.


but did you guys have Young Life? It's basically a youth group that was weaved into the social structure. Kids went to young life hangouts and parties and were basically shamed or harassed if they didn't show up. The purpose of these hangouts were to preach and instil Christian values and basically brainwash kids. My s/o's sister began a group leader post high school but was ousted when she realized she was lesbian. She was immediately removed from her leader/mentor role and her kids were instructed to go no contact.
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: DaleSr on May 13, 2021, 08:42:27 AM
Young life is wild. I have some friends who were involved at one point but aren't any longer.
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: L33Tg33k on May 14, 2021, 12:59:11 PM
I was kicked out of my house when I told my mom I was an atheist. I was 18 anyway. She let me back in after I spent the summer at my grandma's. Now I openly make fun of the ridiculousness of religion right in front of her. 8)
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: IUTSM on May 14, 2021, 01:37:53 PM
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
I am an ex-exvangelical. I grew up in an evangelical household and church and did the routine but also truly believed in God. However, as a teenager I slowly drifted away from the church until I stopped attending altogether and for the next 20 years I rarely set my foot into a church (except for weddings and funerals) and never even opened the Bible. I did not lose my faith tho and kept praying. Sure enough I got into partying, smoking, drinking etc. I managed to get a job and also got married but I certainly drank too much.

Then, almost five years ago, my wife became interested in God and we attended a few evenings in a church in my city (not the one I grew up) and then started attending regularly. A year later we both got baptized into this church, which is a small evangelical outfit with Anabaptist roots. I also started reading the Bible on a regular basis and praying with my wife. My life has changed quite dramatically since: I stopped smoking (cigs and weed), drinking and some other things. The strange thing about it is that no one forced me to do it and I didn't even force myself, it just happened. In my eyes, it is my renewed relation with Jesus that caused this.

Now kook me if you must  ;D
[close]

No one is gonna kook you, if it works for you, then great. It worked for all the people who were at church and enjoying it. But for a lot of us out was damaging and bad. But I'm glad you found a church that makes you happy
[close]



Thanks. I think that‘s an important point: It‘s not the particular church you attend that will make you happy. As a matter of fact and as some of the posts in this thread show, a lot of churches got a lot of things wrong, traumatizing and even abusing people. Even the church I attend is far from perfect. Ideally the church is a place to fellowship with other believers, but it is the personal faith in Jesus Christ that counts and will make all the difference.

hey right, I practice/teach yoga and meditation. I do work with myself and in community that's of a spiritual nature- really, most things I do, I see as a way to get higher in meditation with god/the universe/living&dying. A significant portion of the work goes on inside (heartmind) and is put into action outside- I'm not doing anything because of or for faith/spirituality/god/whatever name is applied, but rather I've found the spiritual nature to coincide with my natural MO, and to sometimes serve as a reminder to come back to the true nature of goodness/love/kindness/compassion with no strings/dogma/belief attached. My teacher says "Love Everyone, Serve Everyone, Remember God (and always tell the truth)." He also said to look at everyone like they're "God in drag." It's a real mellow thing.

Anyways, I responded to your post regarding the fellowship piece. I'll tell ya that when we get together to sit and breathe together for a half hour or an hour, the air changes, our consciousness changes. It's literally electric (brain imaging of meditators shows some interesting electrical stuff going on) and we connect in deep ways, even if only for a time. The more we do it, the deeper we connect. The deeper we connect, the more we understand the nature of human suffering. It gets juicy when we come together.

I'm not into the Christian church trip but good for you dude. Enjoy the juice, man
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: TheBoognish on May 14, 2021, 03:02:09 PM
I'm always astounded to see how big religion and the Church are in the States, and yes, I'm assuming the majority (not all) of you are Americans, if you aren't, my bad.

Growing up in Quebec City, I knew ONE person my whole life (I'm almost 33) that was my age who went to mass regularly and was involved in the Church. One.. not two or three... ONE. To this day I'm pretty sure the only reason he was involved was because his dad was the head of the theology department at Laval University and somewhat of a big-shot in that domain, because I highly doubt Oli cared about it. He smoked weed, partied with us and skipped school with us, he was not the "model" Christian whatsoever. Had it not been for his dad, he would have never went. Fuck, he's the guy I had my first acid trip with and he made me discover black metal in high school.

Only time I've ever been inside a Church other than for a funeral was for my first communion in grade 4 (late 1997 or 98). That was because my mom wanted me to do it more than anything (Irish Catholic heritage) and I fucking hated it. 3 or 4 months of Sunday school, I hated it so much. My dad hated it too, boy did he not want to be there; he'd sleep the whole time or spend the whole time listening to music in the car or go for walk and have some coffee. My dad went to a strict Catholic all-boys school in the 60's and was beaten by his teachers, my dad fucking despises the Church and wouldn't even piss on it if it were on fire.

After every class, the Sunday school teacher would tell my mom how I absolutely refused to participate and did not want to be there, I did everything I could to get kicked out and not have to come back. I was never a trouble maker, but I have a knack for getting out of situations I don't like, so if I had to be a giant pain in the ass for everyone to get out of it, that's what I did... but alas, it didn't work. That dude was so patient with me, I hope he's well today, he wasn't a bad dude at all.

That was the general vibe, kids being forced by their parents to go because of "tradition". No one wanted to be there, no one gave a shit at all. By grade 6 it was Confirmation time and I flat out told her that there was no way I'd be spending every Sunday for a couple months in Sunday school, my dad wanted no part of that either, so she had no choice. I had started skateboarding then, there was no way I was going to miss one of the two days a week I had to go skate. 

Quebec is very atheist, less than 40% of new borns are baptized and religion is considered in "steep decline". None of my friends who have kids have had them baptized, and none of them are married. Church culture in next to none-existent here.

I mean shit, there's a part in our history that is known as "La Grande Noirceur", or "The Great Darkness" in english. That's when hard-line conservative Christian crackpots ran the province. Just the name says it all in regards to our view of the Church.

Not knocking you guys or your families at all, if it makes you happy, believe all you want. I will never knock on someone for being into religion, but it was never my thing at all, and it's still the case to this day... it's just not a part of the culture I grew up around. Respect to you all, and keep doing your thing if it makes you happy.

Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: DaleSr on May 15, 2021, 11:20:41 AM
I'm always astounded to see how big religion and the Church are in the States, and yes, I'm assuming the majority (not all) of you are Americans, if you aren't, my bad.

Growing up in Quebec City, I knew ONE person my whole life (I'm almost 33) that was my age who went to mass regularly and was involved in the Church. One.. not two or three... ONE. To this day I'm pretty sure the only reason he was involved was because his dad was the head of the theology department at Laval University and somewhat of a big-shot in that domain, because I highly doubt Oli cared about it. He smoked weed, partied with us and skipped school with us, he was not the "model" Christian whatsoever. Had it not been for his dad, he would have never went. Fuck, he's the guy I had my first acid trip with and he made me discover black metal in high school.

Only time I've ever been inside a Church other than for a funeral was for my first communion in grade 4 (late 1997 or 98). That was because my mom wanted me to do it more than anything (Irish Catholic heritage) and I fucking hated it. 3 or 4 months of Sunday school, I hated it so much. My dad hated it too, boy did he not want to be there; he'd sleep the whole time or spend the whole time listening to music in the car or go for walk and have some coffee. My dad went to a strict Catholic all-boys school in the 60's and was beaten by his teachers, my dad fucking despises the Church and wouldn't even piss on it if it were on fire.

After every class, the Sunday school teacher would tell my mom how I absolutely refused to participate and did not want to be there, I did everything I could to get kicked out and not have to come back. I was never a trouble maker, but I have a knack for getting out of situations I don't like, so if I had to be a giant pain in the ass for everyone to get out of it, that's what I did... but alas, it didn't work. That dude was so patient with me, I hope he's well today, he wasn't a bad dude at all.

That was the general vibe, kids being forced by their parents to go because of "tradition". No one wanted to be there, no one gave a shit at all. By grade 6 it was Confirmation time and I flat out told her that there was no way I'd be spending every Sunday for a couple months in Sunday school, my dad wanted no part of that either, so she had no choice. I had started skateboarding then, there was no way I was going to miss one of the two days a week I had to go skate. 

Quebec is very atheist, less than 40% of new borns are baptized and religion is considered in "steep decline". None of my friends who have kids have had them baptized, and none of them are married. Church culture in next to none-existent here.

I mean shit, there's a part in our history that is known as "La Grande Noirceur", or "The Great Darkness" in english. That's when hard-line conservative Christian crackpots ran the province. Just the name says it all in regards to our view of the Church.

Not knocking you guys or your families at all, if it makes you happy, believe all you want. I will never knock on someone for being into religion, but it was never my thing at all, and it's still the case to this day... it's just not a part of the culture I grew up around. Respect to you all, and keep doing your thing if it makes you happy.



Do you think that this is a specifically quebecois brand of secularism or do the other provinces share in the areligiousness
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: Fhk on May 15, 2021, 11:45:01 AM
Expand Quote
I'm always astounded to see how big religion and the Church are in the States, and yes, I'm assuming the majority (not all) of you are Americans, if you aren't, my bad.

Growing up in Quebec City, I knew ONE person my whole life (I'm almost 33) that was my age who went to mass regularly and was involved in the Church. One.. not two or three... ONE. To this day I'm pretty sure the only reason he was involved was because his dad was the head of the theology department at Laval University and somewhat of a big-shot in that domain, because I highly doubt Oli cared about it. He smoked weed, partied with us and skipped school with us, he was not the "model" Christian whatsoever. Had it not been for his dad, he would have never went. Fuck, he's the guy I had my first acid trip with and he made me discover black metal in high school.

Only time I've ever been inside a Church other than for a funeral was for my first communion in grade 4 (late 1997 or 98). That was because my mom wanted me to do it more than anything (Irish Catholic heritage) and I fucking hated it. 3 or 4 months of Sunday school, I hated it so much. My dad hated it too, boy did he not want to be there; he'd sleep the whole time or spend the whole time listening to music in the car or go for walk and have some coffee. My dad went to a strict Catholic all-boys school in the 60's and was beaten by his teachers, my dad fucking despises the Church and wouldn't even piss on it if it were on fire.

After every class, the Sunday school teacher would tell my mom how I absolutely refused to participate and did not want to be there, I did everything I could to get kicked out and not have to come back. I was never a trouble maker, but I have a knack for getting out of situations I don't like, so if I had to be a giant pain in the ass for everyone to get out of it, that's what I did... but alas, it didn't work. That dude was so patient with me, I hope he's well today, he wasn't a bad dude at all.

That was the general vibe, kids being forced by their parents to go because of "tradition". No one wanted to be there, no one gave a shit at all. By grade 6 it was Confirmation time and I flat out told her that there was no way I'd be spending every Sunday for a couple months in Sunday school, my dad wanted no part of that either, so she had no choice. I had started skateboarding then, there was no way I was going to miss one of the two days a week I had to go skate. 

Quebec is very atheist, less than 40% of new borns are baptized and religion is considered in "steep decline". None of my friends who have kids have had them baptized, and none of them are married. Church culture in next to none-existent here.

I mean shit, there's a part in our history that is known as "La Grande Noirceur", or "The Great Darkness" in english. That's when hard-line conservative Christian crackpots ran the province. Just the name says it all in regards to our view of the Church.

Not knocking you guys or your families at all, if it makes you happy, believe all you want. I will never knock on someone for being into religion, but it was never my thing at all, and it's still the case to this day... it's just not a part of the culture I grew up around. Respect to you all, and keep doing your thing if it makes you happy.


[close]

Do you think that this is a specifically quebecois brand of secularism or do the other provinces share in the areligiousness
My wife's family are from Québec and from my visits I was under the impression that Catholicism was huge in their area. I know the architecture of the churches I have seen is amazing.
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: mushroom slice on May 15, 2021, 11:45:47 AM
I have never been to church but I have done some drugs and seen some things. Strange things. Things that made me think for a long time. I tried to find pictures of the things I saw and I found these drawings of how angels are described in the book. Tbh they look like things a person sees on drugs.
(https://i.ibb.co/WxrFrr3/8-DCB8-AE7-4912-4-F66-AF89-F0400-C68-E611.jpg)
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: RichardBarkley on May 15, 2021, 01:54:17 PM
I have never been to church but I have done some drugs and seen some things. Strange things. Things that made me think for a long time. I tried to find pictures of the things I saw and I found these drawings of how angels are described in the book. Tbh they look like things a person sees on drugs.
(https://i.ibb.co/WxrFrr3/8-DCB8-AE7-4912-4-F66-AF89-F0400-C68-E611.jpg)

DMT right there
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: TheBoognish on May 15, 2021, 02:25:57 PM
Expand Quote
.

Growing up in Quebec City, I knew ONE person my whole life (I'm almost 33) that was my age who went to mass regularly and was involved in the Church.


[close]

Do you think that this is a specifically quebecois brand of secularism or do the other provinces share in the areligiousness

Damn, didn’t realize how much of a wall of text that was, I was baked and fired up I guess.

If could be, but I guess it has to do more with our history with the church more than anything. Hard-line Catholicism was badly digested by the people, and Quebecois people are very vocal about their dislike of anything. Politically, Quebec is also quite to the left compared to the rest of Canada, especially the prairies which tend to be more conservative, so that might be why as well..

The general rule is the closer you get to the middle of Canada, the more religious it is (I don’t know about the Maritimes, though). I lived in BC a few years and overall everywhere on the coast and ski towns were fairly secular, interior BC had those small towns that seemed quite religous. I met some realllllly religious people in Lethbridge, AB (about an hour from Fernie, BC) which quite frankly scared the shit out or me. I had never seen, met or even heard of hard-line Pentecostals ‘till I stopped at a gas station in Lethbridge.


Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: Wheelbyte on May 15, 2021, 06:34:49 PM
Expand Quote
Expand Quote
.

Growing up in Quebec City, I knew ONE person my whole life (I'm almost 33) that was my age who went to mass regularly and was involved in the Church.


[close]

Do you think that this is a specifically quebecois brand of secularism or do the other provinces share in the areligiousness
[close]

Damn, didn’t realize how much of a wall of text that was, I was baked and fired up I guess.

If could be, but I guess it has to do more with our history with the church more than anything. Hard-line Catholicism was badly digested by the people, and Quebecois people are very vocal about their dislike of anything. Politically, Quebec is also quite to the left compared to the rest of Canada, especially the prairies which tend to be more conservative, so that might be why as well..

The general rule is the closer you get to the middle of Canada, the more religious it is (I don’t know about the Maritimes, though). I lived in BC a few years and overall everywhere on the coast and ski towns were fairly secular, interior BC had those small towns that seemed quite religous. I met some realllllly religious people in Lethbridge, AB (about an hour from Fernie, BC) which quite frankly scared the shit out or me. I had never seen, met or even heard of hard-line Pentecostals ‘till I stopped at a gas station in Lethbridge.

inlanders can suffer from iodine deficiency and possible mental retardation
just look at trump states

also flatlanders with big 180degree sky
may have perception issues from never being on a hill
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: Clone1984 on May 20, 2021, 09:43:45 PM
Raised Catholic. didnt know I was Catholic. had my first communion illicitly. Stopped going to church when I was a teenager because I started watching Shepherds chapel on public access where he taught his own interpretation of the bible and that religion was bad and man made. Started playing final fantasy 7 religiously. looked up that creatures and references were from the bible. started to study the bible very slowly. didnt realize I was struggling with mental illness my whole life. created my own anime fantasy characters. got transferred between four different high schools. graduated continuation high early. went to community college. fell for a goth girl that had pink hair and went to raves. got kicked out and or ran away from home after dying my hair blue and got a job at a tattoo parlor in hollywood. stayed dedicated to the goth scene for nearly ten years. started skating in my mid twenties after being indoctrinated into 12 stepping had a sponsor who was evangelical and spiritually abusive. Read the whole bible in and out of rehab. learned to pray the rosary after having a dream of the virgin mary after a really bad break up. became a confirmed catholic at 30 was knighted in the church at 27. had visions of christ and the saints. didnt realize I was mentally Ill. developed an eating disorder that almost killed me and finally got put on medication. Got engaged. oh and I am LGBTQ and so is my partner. found the experience as an adult in the church to be extremely biased and racist and homophobic. have a close friend who is ex military and an atheist help me screw my head on straight. I am still catholic but rarely ever go to mass. sometimes I go to confession and adoration. still pray the rosary almost every day. I think the church is bad news but I still believe it is the oldest one and the original. my fiancee is a wiccan druid elder. we are still going to try to get married. I study apologetics but find myself to be more and more of a skeptic. I would've become a buddhist a long time ago if I didnt have catholic tattoos or have some lingering hope my visions were authentic. but thank whatever is out there for medication and therapy. oh and AWS 4 lyfe
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: The Drew on May 20, 2021, 10:13:54 PM
My Dad used to make us go to church... but my brother sister and I would always just mess around and complain about how boring it was ... when we were old enough to be left at home unattended we stopped going.

I hate whinging now but Geeze I am glad i whinged every time we had to go to church
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: DaleSr on May 23, 2021, 01:28:36 PM
Raised Catholic. didnt know I was Catholic. had my first communion illicitly. Stopped going to church when I was a teenager because I started watching Shepherds chapel on public access where he taught his own interpretation of the bible and that religion was bad and man made. Started playing final fantasy 7 religiously. looked up that creatures and references were from the bible. started to study the bible very slowly. didnt realize I was struggling with mental illness my whole life. created my own anime fantasy characters. got transferred between four different high schools. graduated continuation high early. went to community college. fell for a goth girl that had pink hair and went to raves. got kicked out and or ran away from home after dying my hair blue and got a job at a tattoo parlor in hollywood. stayed dedicated to the goth scene for nearly ten years. started skating in my mid twenties after being indoctrinated into 12 stepping had a sponsor who was evangelical and spiritually abusive. Read the whole bible in and out of rehab. learned to pray the rosary after having a dream of the virgin mary after a really bad break up. became a confirmed catholic at 30 was knighted in the church at 27. had visions of christ and the saints. didnt realize I was mentally Ill. developed an eating disorder that almost killed me and finally got put on medication. Got engaged. oh and I am LGBTQ and so is my partner. found the experience as an adult in the church to be extremely biased and racist and homophobic. have a close friend who is ex military and an atheist help me screw my head on straight. I am still catholic but rarely ever go to mass. sometimes I go to confession and adoration. still pray the rosary almost every day. I think the church is bad news but I still believe it is the oldest one and the original. my fiancee is a wiccan druid elder. we are still going to try to get married. I study apologetics but find myself to be more and more of a skeptic. I would've become a buddhist a long time ago if I didnt have catholic tattoos or have some lingering hope my visions were authentic. but thank whatever is out there for medication and therapy. oh and AWS 4 lyfe

Damn dude, there's a lot going on there
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: cilantro on May 23, 2021, 02:59:22 PM
Was raised christian up till the age of 14. Spent the years from 15-24 just avoiding church and religious talk, instead focused on punk and skateboarding and being gay.
Recently have found comfort within the Bible and religious symbolism. I was always raised with the idea that the bible is infallible and has to be completely accepted; picking and choosing wasn’t allowed. Now I can appreciate the positive aspects of community through religion without being smeared for homosexuality, drug use, or being poor.
One aspect I appreciate is prayer, putting thought into an action in the hopes that I can establish some control in my life. I pray for my family, my friends, everyone I care about, and even if nothing happens I know that it brings me comfort. Doesn’t seem any different to the idea of “manifesting” that tiktok witches have today.

The return to christian practice started about two years ago when my dad died. I was so used to working with him every day and very suddenly he was gone. We were home remodelers and we used to take long drives through backroads while talking shit and listening to music(since my dad always had some sketchy vehicle that wasn’t street legal). After his passing, there was a repeated occurrence where I’d be driving though an empty road listening to something he liked, and I’d suddenly feel like I wasn’t alone. At first I’d cry, pull over, sit in silence or do whatever I had to do, but after a while I learned to use the moments to talk to my dad. He is there in my passenger seat while we listen to Los Bukis, he’s telling me about how boring the Beach Boys are, he’s asking me about distant family and cousins he hadn’t seen in years. We will fight and argue, we will laugh so much you’d think I’m crazy, we will just sit together in silence. I will tell him about the job I got after he passed as a residential superintendent, which was exactly the kind of career he wanted me to move up to.
The connection I felt after my dad’s death would have been inconceivable to who I had become after Christianity had successfully snuffed my childhood hope and curiousity. I had hated the idea of heaven and earth so bad that I convinced myself there was nothing more after death. Now I don’t think that’s the case. Maybe my dad’s gone, and now my grandma too, but they’re not really gone. It’s like energy, it’s never destroyed or created, just turns into something else. Well, now I carry some of that energy. And even if I’m not on my knees praying to the lord, I see the cross and the bible as reminders of what drove the people who I loved more than anything in the world in their daily lives. We lose so much physical reminders of the people we love but my brain won’t let me forget the memories.
And on days when I’m scared and older and a little more sad, and someone is hurting and suffering because life is cruel, I say a little prayer and wish that tomorrow brings a smile or some bit of joy into our lives. And you know what, sometimes it does.
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: DaleSr on May 24, 2021, 11:13:04 AM
Was raised christian up till the age of 14. Spent the years from 15-24 just avoiding church and religious talk, instead focused on punk and skateboarding and being gay.
Recently have found comfort within the Bible and religious symbolism. I was always raised with the idea that the bible is infallible and has to be completely accepted; picking and choosing wasn’t allowed. Now I can appreciate the positive aspects of community through religion without being smeared for homosexuality, drug use, or being poor.
One aspect I appreciate is prayer, putting thought into an action in the hopes that I can establish some control in my life. I pray for my family, my friends, everyone I care about, and even if nothing happens I know that it brings me comfort. Doesn’t seem any different to the idea of “manifesting” that tiktok witches have today.

The return to christian practice started about two years ago when my dad died. I was so used to working with him every day and very suddenly he was gone. We were home remodelers and we used to take long drives through backroads while talking shit and listening to music(since my dad always had some sketchy vehicle that wasn’t street legal). After his passing, there was a repeated occurrence where I’d be driving though an empty road listening to something he liked, and I’d suddenly feel like I wasn’t alone. At first I’d cry, pull over, sit in silence or do whatever I had to do, but after a while I learned to use the moments to talk to my dad. He is there in my passenger seat while we listen to Los Bukis, he’s telling me about how boring the Beach Boys are, he’s asking me about distant family and cousins he hadn’t seen in years. We will fight and argue, we will laugh so much you’d think I’m crazy, we will just sit together in silence. I will tell him about the job I got after he passed as a residential superintendent, which was exactly the kind of career he wanted me to move up to.
The connection I felt after my dad’s death would have been inconceivable to who I had become after Christianity had successfully snuffed my childhood hope and curiousity. I had hated the idea of heaven and earth so bad that I convinced myself there was nothing more after death. Now I don’t think that’s the case. Maybe my dad’s gone, and now my grandma too, but they’re not really gone. It’s like energy, it’s never destroyed or created, just turns into something else. Well, now I carry some of that energy. And even if I’m not on my knees praying to the lord, I see the cross and the bible as reminders of what drove the people who I loved more than anything in the world in their daily lives. We lose so much physical reminders of the people we love but my brain won’t let me forget the memories.
And on days when I’m scared and older and a little more sad, and someone is hurting and suffering because life is cruel, I say a little prayer and wish that tomorrow brings a smile or some bit of joy into our lives. And you know what, sometimes it does.

That seems really cool. I'm not spiritual at all, but respect to anything that brings people comfort in this brutal meat grinder we call life. I also try and recontextualize a lot of what i learned growing up and try and focus on being good to people i run into in my life as a secular wwjd type thing
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: somedudefromnj on June 05, 2021, 08:05:38 PM
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I am an ex-exvangelical. I grew up in an evangelical household and church and did the routine but also truly believed in God. However, as a teenager I slowly drifted away from the church until I stopped attending altogether and for the next 20 years I rarely set my foot into a church (except for weddings and funerals) and never even opened the Bible. I did not lose my faith tho and kept praying. Sure enough I got into partying, smoking, drinking etc. I managed to get a job and also got married but I certainly drank too much.

Then, almost five years ago, my wife became interested in God and we attended a few evenings in a church in my city (not the one I grew up) and then started attending regularly. A year later we both got baptized into this church, which is a small evangelical outfit with Anabaptist roots. I also started reading the Bible on a regular basis and praying with my wife. My life has changed quite dramatically since: I stopped smoking (cigs and weed), drinking and some other things. The strange thing about it is that no one forced me to do it and I didn't even force myself, it just happened. In my eyes, it is my renewed relation with Jesus that caused this.

Now kook me if you must  ;D
[close]

No one is gonna kook you, if it works for you, then great. It worked for all the people who were at church and enjoying it. But for a lot of us out was damaging and bad. But I'm glad you found a church that makes you happy
[close]



Thanks. I think that‘s an important point: It‘s not the particular church you attend that will make you happy. As a matter of fact and as some of the posts in this thread show, a lot of churches got a lot of things wrong, traumatizing and even abusing people. Even the church I attend is far from perfect. Ideally the church is a place to fellowship with other believers, but it is the personal faith in Jesus Christ that counts and will make all the difference.

just wanted to thank you for posting this. Too many creepy believers give ¨Christianity¨ a bad rep, especially in America. One day I realized the bible is dope, prayer works, and showing up to a building on Sundays doesn´t really say a damn thing about character.

Was raised christian up till the age of 14. Spent the years from 15-24 just avoiding church and religious talk, instead focused on punk and skateboarding and being gay.
Recently have found comfort within the Bible and religious symbolism. I was always raised with the idea that the bible is infallible and has to be completely accepted; picking and choosing wasn’t allowed. Now I can appreciate the positive aspects of community through religion without being smeared for homosexuality, drug use, or being poor.
One aspect I appreciate is prayer, putting thought into an action in the hopes that I can establish some control in my life. I pray for my family, my friends, everyone I care about, and even if nothing happens I know that it brings me comfort. Doesn’t seem any different to the idea of “manifesting” that tiktok witches have today.

The return to christian practice started about two years ago when my dad died. I was so used to working with him every day and very suddenly he was gone. We were home remodelers and we used to take long drives through backroads while talking shit and listening to music(since my dad always had some sketchy vehicle that wasn’t street legal). After his passing, there was a repeated occurrence where I’d be driving though an empty road listening to something he liked, and I’d suddenly feel like I wasn’t alone. At first I’d cry, pull over, sit in silence or do whatever I had to do, but after a while I learned to use the moments to talk to my dad. He is there in my passenger seat while we listen to Los Bukis, he’s telling me about how boring the Beach Boys are, he’s asking me about distant family and cousins he hadn’t seen in years. We will fight and argue, we will laugh so much you’d think I’m crazy, we will just sit together in silence. I will tell him about the job I got after he passed as a residential superintendent, which was exactly the kind of career he wanted me to move up to.
The connection I felt after my dad’s death would have been inconceivable to who I had become after Christianity had successfully snuffed my childhood hope and curiousity. I had hated the idea of heaven and earth so bad that I convinced myself there was nothing more after death. Now I don’t think that’s the case. Maybe my dad’s gone, and now my grandma too, but they’re not really gone. It’s like energy, it’s never destroyed or created, just turns into something else. Well, now I carry some of that energy. And even if I’m not on my knees praying to the lord, I see the cross and the bible as reminders of what drove the people who I loved more than anything in the world in their daily lives. We lose so much physical reminders of the people we love but my brain won’t let me forget the memories.
And on days when I’m scared and older and a little more sad, and someone is hurting and suffering because life is cruel, I say a little prayer and wish that tomorrow brings a smile or some bit of joy into our lives. And you know what, sometimes it does.

Sorry for the loss homie. Glad you manage to keep having that glimmer of hope

Praying all of you find joy in so so many things

Cheers everyone
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: dstrytruitt on June 06, 2021, 05:35:02 PM
I was a perfect little nerd with straight As in elementary school until the last year when I started skateboarding. I didn't need to study much and most shit came easy. Attended an insane amount of extracurricular activities, except for sports. Bible study (or religion class or something like that) was just one of those activities. I played along and got excellent grades (almost everyone got them).

My father's grandparents are religious, while my mother's are not. I was baptized very late and all the other sacraments were basically done not to offend anyone, no one in my close family really cares about religion. So after elementary school I never went to church again, expect for one wedding. Proud atheist and I don't bear any scars of attending mass, I just find it baffling that adults still believe this shit.

I still have a hard time watching church having a tangible power in political issues at home and abroad. One thing that I have come to realize is that religion is mostly just an escape to find reasons for the harsh life events like disease that pops up randomly in people's lives. It is hard to accept that life essentially has no meaning and people seek a reason to exist for a cause and to belong to a community (so can you really blame them).
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: Cool Ceith on June 07, 2021, 05:37:39 PM
I was raised Jehovah's Witness and it took a very long time to recover from the brainwashing. (Side note: I had to deal with some gnarly sexual abuse from one of the "elders" when I was a kid, and even though I brought it to my mom's attention several times, they just kept letting that guy off with a slap on the wrist. Molestation is definitely not just a plague in the Catholic church.) The hypocrisy was too much. I'm not against spirituality, or even religion really, but my experience has completely shut me down to the possibility of a Christian path.

I'm in my 40s now and have an OK relationship with my mom, but she's still a hardcore witness and there is always this unspoken hostility on my part. In the "Truth" as they call it, witnesses need to disown family members that aren't practicing witnesses/leave the religion. So… there's always a lot of "witnessing" going during our phone calls. I think it's her little loophole: as long as she's trying to get me to go back to a kingdom hall, then she doesn't have to excommunicate me or whatever they call it. I've told her that I'm not a witness, and I don't want to go to meetings (in the nicest way possible), but I haven't asked her to please for the love of Jehovah stop trying to get me into a kingdom hall!

Anyway, there is a lot more to this but I will just say one thing that might be helpful. If you are interested in joining a religion or are currently being pitched by an evangelical, research what their teachings are about relationships/friendships with people outside of the faith. If you're taught that there's no hope for non-believers and you are forbidden to associate with them because Satan (or another villain) is controlling their actions, think twice. It's a not-so-subtle way of controlling you.
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: rawr1922 on June 07, 2021, 06:11:46 PM
Cool Ceith,
 
Heart breaking to hear what happened to you. In cases like yours, wish swift justice take place against those types of people. Those same abuse cases turned me off from catholicism. Religion really does the opposite of spreading the gospel of peace. Divides & preys on people. God created man. And man created religion. Certain the holy spirit does not support all these people who do the opposite of what the bible says. A couple years ago, got really into reading scripture & doing bible studies with like minded people going through recovery. Felt more enlightenmet & peace from 1 bible study then years of going to church. Church such a dog & pony show. Rarely go nowadays only if someone ask me to go, all about reading the bible. Very uplifting & written like beautiful song lyrics. 
 
Here's some of my favs: 
 
John 15:13
Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends   
 
Matthew 6:34
 
2 Corinthians 4:17-18
 
Romans 8:18

Romans 12:2
 
Luke 6:38

Matthew 7:13-14
 
Psalm 55:22

Whenever I'm  feeling super radical like Sheckler, I read the Armor of God : Ephesians 6:10 - 6:24


Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: DaleSr on June 07, 2021, 06:48:25 PM
I was raised Jehovah's Witness and it took a very long time to recover from the brainwashing. (Side note: I had to deal with some gnarly sexual abuse from one of the "elders" when I was a kid, and even though I brought it to my mom's attention several times, they just kept letting that guy off with a slap on the wrist. Molestation is definitely not just a plague in the Catholic church.) The hypocrisy was too much. I'm not against spirituality, or even religion really, but my experience has completely shut me down to the possibility of a Christian path.

I'm in my 40s now and have an OK relationship with my mom, but she's still a hardcore witness and there is always this unspoken hostility on my part. In the "Truth" as they call it, witnesses need to disown family members that aren't practicing witnesses/leave the religion. So… there's always a lot of "witnessing" going during our phone calls. I think it's her little loophole: as long as she's trying to get me to go back to a kingdom hall, then she doesn't have to excommunicate me or whatever they call it. I've told her that I'm not a witness, and I don't want to go to meetings (in the nicest way possible), but I haven't asked her to please for the love of Jehovah stop trying to get me into a kingdom hall!

Anyway, there is a lot more to this but I will just say one thing that might be helpful. If you are interested in joining a religion or are currently being pitched by an evangelical, research what their teachings are about relationships/friendships with people outside of the faith. If you're taught that there's no hope for non-believers and you are forbidden to associate with them because Satan (or another villain) is controlling their actions, think twice. It's a not-so-subtle way of controlling you.

I'm terribly sorry to hear about the abuse you suffered from elders. I know that the JWs especially have a massive problem with that specifically because of their "neutrality" in political and governmental things. I can't tell what's worse, the catholic church's systemic shuffling and covering up of abuse or the absolute apathy and cowardice of the JWs refusal to report abusers, pedophiles and predators.

I'm glad you are able to continue to have a relationship with your mom considering how hardcore JWs tend to be with disowning those who leave the church. She must really love you still to even look for ways around the church's rules.

Also the section that i bolded in your quote is huge. Big big red flag that your church community is trying to isolate you and build dependence on them
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: EdLawndale on June 08, 2021, 10:42:49 PM
saw a lot of strange things that could not be explained.

I'll bite. What sort of strange things?
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: Willie on June 09, 2021, 04:36:58 AM
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saw a lot of strange things that could not be explained.
[close]

I'll bite. What sort of strange things?

Did his pictures not load for you? Apparently he saw the Angels from Bayonetta!
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: Mr. Kamikazi on June 09, 2021, 08:51:44 AM
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I am an ex-exvangelical. I grew up in an evangelical household and church and did the routine but also truly believed in God. However, as a teenager I slowly drifted away from the church until I stopped attending altogether and for the next 20 years I rarely set my foot into a church (except for weddings and funerals) and never even opened the Bible. I did not lose my faith tho and kept praying. Sure enough I got into partying, smoking, drinking etc. I managed to get a job and also got married but I certainly drank too much.

Then, almost five years ago, my wife became interested in God and we attended a few evenings in a church in my city (not the one I grew up) and then started attending regularly. A year later we both got baptized into this church, which is a small evangelical outfit with Anabaptist roots. I also started reading the Bible on a regular basis and praying with my wife. My life has changed quite dramatically since: I stopped smoking (cigs and weed), drinking and some other things. The strange thing about it is that no one forced me to do it and I didn't even force myself, it just happened. In my eyes, it is my renewed relation with Jesus that caused this.

Now kook me if you must  ;D
[close]

No one is gonna kook you, if it works for you, then great. It worked for all the people who were at church and enjoying it. But for a lot of us out was damaging and bad. But I'm glad you found a church that makes you happy


I respect & appreciate your willingness to be open & honest about your experience. I personally think it's beyond powerful & certainly not a coincidence that this came naturally for you. I too have/had a similar experience.

Long story short, I was raised Catholic and went to Catholic school; it was absolutely terrible and abusive when my 30 year old self reflects on the entire experience. My parents divorced early on in life and as a result, I had a some behavioral issues that a Catholic school was not able to address. Not to mention I was raised by my Dad and he struggled to meet my emotional needs. My mother was in the picture but really just served a fun friend that I saw twice a week and spent every other weekend with. I think by the time I got to high school and leveled out, I stopped believing in God and pretty much resented religion. I was never sacrilegious as I know some people go through a phase were they have to show there adamant hatred or disapproval of religion, something I still find unnecessary and childish, regardless of your beliefs. In about 2017, I was in Graduate School and recently had become engaged. I was working full time & in an accelerated Masters Program doing well but socially and emotionally struggling. I was stressed and just worried. My first instinct was to start praying and just say "thanks" to someone (God I would later find) for what I have and to talk to someone about my worries. Some days it would be super specific requests, others would just be general conversations. Either way, I pray every day and just say thanks to God as I can truly say he has answered all of my prayers.

I will add that this is nice to see that others are willing to talk about this & not be judgmental as one of my best friend's really gave me a hard time when I let him know I have tapped into the spiritual side of myself. He has since apologized but it's super frustrating knowing that some people present as these accepting, loving diverse folks and when it comes to anything associated with God or spirituality in the most generic terms, it is shunned and viewed in disgust.

All I can say is God has been good to me. Proceed to kook me!
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: DaleSr on June 09, 2021, 05:09:41 PM


I will add that this is nice to see that others are willing to talk about this & not be judgmental as one of my best friend's really gave me a hard time when I let him know I have tapped into the spiritual side of myself. He has since apologized but it's super frustrating knowing that some people present as these accepting, loving diverse folks and when it comes to anything associated with God or spirituality in the most generic terms, it is shunned and viewed in disgust.

All I can say is God has been good to me. Proceed to kook me!


I mean the reason why people do react in a hostile way to that at times is because they themselves were shunned, marginalized or berated because of the fact they are diverse, gay or different by people who are in leadership at churches or make Christianity a huge part of their identity. I'm not going to loop you into all that stuff, but i think we all can attest in this thread that homophobia and low to high key racism are very present in most evangelical Christian spaces. Again, totally dope and awesome that it brings you peace and comfort and fulfillment, but that's not everyone's experience and probably colors how they view other people who share the faith that hurt them so much.

But no one is going to kook you and it's cool that it works for you

(edit)

Now that I'm thinking, I don't want my only response to be reflexively defensive. I know that that's my usual response because I've had to bring up the plight of people who don't feel welcome in church to people who are still faithful. But I don't want that to be the only way I interact with you. I'm glad that God has blessed you. I'm glad you feel spiritual fulfillment
Title: Re: Exvangelicals Post Up
Post by: Hinna on July 02, 2021, 04:36:48 PM
read up on the epic of gilgamesh and its similarities to the bible