I haven't spent too much time thinking about "where do we go when we die?" or anything until the last few years. I had my son when I was 38 (late to da game), and I still hadn't really thought about it, until his first birthday. Something just came over me like "wow, I wonder how much time I have left?", and its been a nagging thought in my head since. My dad died when I was 25 and I didn't even think about my own impending doom then. Something about watching a growing child set it off. I'm not religious at all, even though I find the stories extremely interesting. I would say I'm more agnostic (front - oi oi oi!) , not an atheist. But trying to add all of this up in my head - do you go to heaven and see your loved ones? Does it just end and you are completely over and don't even know? Stuff can drive one nuts. My one dog (my best bud by far) died back in June and the thoughts have been in my head again. My wife sent me this video of "how your pets greet you in heaven" (dog running to you) nailed me pretty bad. She is aware that I have not been the same since. Our other dog is basically her dog and doesn't even come to me when I get home, lol.
I've had some other thoughts of: If I KNEW it was my last day of life, what would I do? Assuming I'm not in a death bed that is. What I came up with was: I would drive around my town and say goodbye to the places I have great memories at. Where I first skated, the baseball field I played at as a kid, the farmers market where I've bought most of my XMas trees in my life (with my dad before and now with my son). I would definitely smoke cigarettes. I would tell my best friend that I love him and he was like a brother to me - and always stood by me even at my worst and he has had more respect from me than anyone else that wasn't my dad. I would watch Empire Strikes Back (my favorite movie growing up), H-Street Hokus Pokus and Plan B Questionable. Try to get in one last GOOD kickflip. Play catch with my son. I would thank my wife for pulling me out of my self-hatred / destruction and getting me to love life again, and that she is a great person and deserves so much happiness. And tell my son that he was my greatest achievement and gift in this world, and nothing has meant more to me than him. I would remind him to always tell the truth and never give up on anything. Always work hard and good things will come. Hopefully then pass peacefully with those 2 at my side. If I was on a death bed, I would just talk to my wife and son only. That would be enough.
I was with my dad when he was dying. He was gasping for air, then looked me in the eye, said " I love you" right before he stopped breathing. I feel like I got so lucky on that one.
Anyone have thoughts on what happens, where we go, etc. ?
If you could live forever would you? What would be the point of living forever?I think to understand death you have to understand life. One cannot happen without the other. What is it to be alive? I think this life that we have is the most limited form of existence that we will ever know. Death isn’t the end of anything. I like to think of it as a way for our souls to upgrade into better skins. New gear for school. Those of us who did really well last semester get to be a dog or cat or some other animal. Those of us that blew it and fucked off last semester have to be a person again.
What would be the point of living forever?
If you could live forever would you?Only if I could be the Highlander. Duncan though, not Connor.
My money is on it being the same as before you were born. If there isn't a "pre-heaven", I personally am not just going to assume there is one in the end.
Hope I look sexy when I die though, like out dancing the night away doing the worm (gotta learn that first) and I'm not like jerking off caught dead with my dick in my hand or something.
Odds are on dick in my hand though
I think about it all the time. Especially last year. My mother suddenly lost her best friend to cancer, she's gettin older herself and my cat was attacked by a huge dog and I thought that was it for him, but he came through. A friend drowned in an accident this year aswell. Other friends are on the edge battling heroin addictions. I've had heavy periods of being suicidal aswell so thoughts of death are rarely just in the background for. Within 5 years both of my pets and my parents might not be around anymore, that will be a massive change.
I really think we should be acknowledging death more than we do in our society, not just death as being the end of life but being a core reason to make the world better and be good to each other while we are here.
Hope I look sexy when I die though, like out dancing the night away doing the worm (gotta learn that first) and I'm not like jerking off caught dead with my dick in my hand or something.
I also think the idea of putting bodies in expensive boxes...It just seems wasteful...I don't need to take up any more space.I completely agree. I've told my wife that if I go before my parents to rent a casket if she can because my mom would want a funeral, and funerals are for the still living after all to help them cope with the loss.
...Check out Abraham Hicks...No. You stop that. I won't shame anyone's religion, but I will shame pseudoscientific nonsense that people propagate as a way to get rich and take advantage of vulnerable people.
I really think we should be acknowledging death more than we do in our society, not just death as being the end of life but being a core reason to make the world better and be good to eachother while we are here.This is really the takeaway for me. I've been an asshole in the past, and lately I've been realizing that it's so much easier and more rewarding to not be a dick and make someone else's day worse. It literally takes no effort because you're essentially not doing an action. I've also been trying to actively make life better for others, raising awareness about my addiction and mental issues so hopefully others get help sooner than I did. Trying to do the most good I can with my job. Just trying to leave the world a bit better than I found it generally. Today is the best time to be alive, and that will continue to be true, and if I can help make it better for when I'm not around, I'll be pretty happy I think.
My dad once told me a story about when he was a cop in Seattle in the 80s. He had to do a wellness check on some elderly guy whose girlfriend was worried about him. They wound up finding him with a chair in his bed, legs propped up on the chair, surrounded by porno mags with his dick in his hand.Expand QuoteMy money is on it being the same as before you were born. If there isn't a "pre-heaven", I personally am not just going to assume there is one in the end.
Hope I look sexy when I die though, like out dancing the night away doing the worm (gotta learn that first) and I'm not like jerking off caught dead with my dick in my hand or something.
Odds are on dick in my hand though[close]
About 8 years ago, a friend of mine talked about exactly this scenario and the dude deleted all of his porn collection and has vowed to never whack it again. He told me there was nothing worse than the idea of cops kicking in his door and seeing his dead hand giving himself a kung fu grip.
This thread has made me chuckle at times and made my throat feel tighter at times. You’re all good people.
I grapple with what happens after we die a lot, but I just try to leave the world a slightly better place than it was.
I never got to say goodbye to my dad. I was 16 when I lost him. He went to work in the morning before I woke up for school and had an aneurysm before I got to lunch. He was brain dead before he or we got to the hospital. I remember my mom asking me what I thought he would have wanted - to hold onto some vague, 1/1,000,000,000,000th of a percent chance that one day, tomorrow, next week, year, of decades from now he’d wake up and everything would be fine, or to say goodbye. I know what my dad would have wanted. I got to have a chat with him the night before the aneurysm and thank him for -something-, I don’t remember what. But I said I love him and he paused, as I was 100% at that dumb teenage age when you don’t say that kind of thing a lot. I knew it touched him and he said it back.
I haven’t done a lot of things that I think should make my parents particularly proud of me over the years, but I have definitely tried to live a life where I can hopefully impact people’s lives on a good note more often than not. That is how one lives forever, I think. I learned it from my dad, and especially from that last memory. I’m glad I said what I said then and not held it back, or worse, had a fight with him. I’m glad the last moment I remember with him is him smiling and telling me he loves me too, and I hope most memories I leave with people are the good ones.
I hope what happens when we die is some form of reincarnation. But who knows? It could be nothing. It could be the forever sleep. It could be heaven.
It’s probably not heaven.
Sorry for rambling. Hope you all have a good day.
My mom raised us catholic and my dad just stayed out of the way. He'd come to mass on Christmas and if one of my cousins was getting baptized, but that was is. I went to catechism (sunday school during the week) like once a week from kindergarten up until I think 7th grade. I was even an alter boy a few times and my brother sang in the choir at Christmas. This was just one of the many activities my mom just signed me up for and I went along with. 8th grade was confirmation, and at that point I had figured out how people use god to control others and I was out. This was also the time I discovered skating and punk rock and stopped playing all the sports and other activities my mom always signed me up for, and basically became a total badass. Just kinda told my mom it wasn't for me and that was that.
I don't really have any terrible stories for Catholic church, other than I just figured that it wasn't my thing. I've been to other churches since then and honestly, I prefer the ridged tradition of a catholic mass compared to whatever kind of church has a band and a charismatic pastor. Catholic mass you can kinda zone out and just chill, christian rock churches feel much more culty. My wife's family all went to this local church with a band and the cool pastor, and everyone knew everyone. My wife was into it for a while and I think it was her way of belonging with her family, and I went to make her happy. It was also around the time my brother was working through the only treatment program that actually gave him long term sobriety, which was a christian based program (he played in the fucking band!). Anyway, the people at the church I went to with my wife all knew that I was a non believer and they made it their mission to convert me. I'm way too polite and entertained it for way too long. I went to small little bible study groups that met once a week, but never even got close to becoming a believer. My wife and I did a couples group with the pastor and his wife and two other couples. The group ended about six months before we were getting married and my wife asked the pastor if he would do the ceremony, to which he said something like "as a christian man, I can't marry a christian woman to a non believer" and something about how us living together and having sex goes against his vows as a pastor. I didn't care, I never really liked the guy, but my wife was super pissed and we never went back to church.
Since then we've learned a whole bunch of shady shit about his family. His son-in-law who was the leader of the youth group for years molested his youngest daughter when she was 13. The pastor, his wife, and his oldest daughter whos married to the creep, all knew about it and kept it from his other two sons (and everyone else). The youngest daughter is probably mid 20s now, probably the most down to earth one, but I guess she rushed into a marriage with an abusive dude, then came out about her brother-in-law molesting her, and I guess it's been a shit show.
So that's my experience with the church...
This thread has been a really great read, but lead me to ponder a question...
Should we fear death? Also, should we actively discourage the option of suicide?
In regards to question #1, I feel like the immediate and most rational answer is yes, as it motivates you to make the most of life, especially if you believe there is no afterlife, so this is your only shot.
I’d like to think I believe that, but upon reflection, I don’t think I actually do.
My parents had me in their early 40’s so growing up, I had a handful of uncles, grandparents and close relatives pass away. For most of them I was either too young to comprehend it or too far removed from the individual to really feel a type of way about it.
The first death that really hit me was in my junior year of high school, when my neighbor and good friend passed away in a single car accident. Not to speak out of turn, but it was suspected to be a suicide but never publicly regarded as such. Knowing him, it was entirely possible and in my opinion, likely.
That death really hit me. He was a year older than me and was a great dude who made a huge impact on me growing up and I really felt for his family, specifically his sister who is still a close friend of mine.
But as someone who has battled some mental problems in the past and had a close call or two with carrying through with an irreversible choice, I just don’t think I could whole heartedly dissuade someone from suicidal ideation.
If a friend came to me right now saying they wanted to kill themselves, I would obviously be there for them and talk it out in whatever manner they wished, and would selfishly not want them to carry through with it given how much I enjoy them in my life.
But that’s exactly it, it’s a “selfish” motivation. Given I don’t know the pain they’re going through, who am I to tell them not to do it? Who am I to play police and tell them what’s right and what’s wrong? Or lastly, who am I to prioritize the pain and sorrow I’d feel over the tremendous hardships they’re going through. Something about that just feels morally wrong.
Of course we can’t make suicide a socially popular and viable option or else people would be dropping like flies over pretty trivial matters, but also how can we actively regard it culturally as an irreversible “mistake”. Do we prioritize the family and friends wishes over the actual victims suffering? If so, how do we justify that?
Heavy question I know, but I’m curious what some of you wiser, more introspective folks have to say on the topic. Again, great thread that really got me thinking, nothing but love for all of y’all!
samsara. snakes and ladders
samsara. snakes and ladders