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Skateboarding => USELESS WOODEN TOY BANTER => Topic started by: SneakySecrets on October 11, 2021, 05:56:42 AM
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Looks like Chris Gregson is on the Nine Club with Chris Roberts. Boy, they really ought to just call it “Ectomorphs Named Chris Weekly” this episode am I right!? How bout it folks?
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i laughed so hard my asshole exploded. then i went online and bought a pair of glassy brand gamer eyeglasses. thank you Mike Mo and thank you sneaky secrets
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Looks like Chris Gregson is on the Nine Club with Chris Roberts. Boy, they really ought to just call it “Ectomorphs Named Chris Weekly” this episode am I right!? How bout it folks?
BURN!
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I used to do pressure flips, well, I still do pressure flips, but i used to too.
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I used to do pressure flips, well, I still do pressure flips, but i used to too.
RIP Mitch
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I used to do pressure flips, well, I still do pressure flips, but i used to too.
RIP Mitch
I also invoke the spirit of Mr. Hedberg any time somebody says “I used to skate” to me.
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I used to do pressure flips, well, I still do pressure flips, but i used to too.
RIP Mitch
thats a quote on my insta bio.
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What's the deal with fakie?! It's backwards but I'm still lookin ahead... really, I mean is it so taboo that it's "fake". I mean hey, also megaramps? Spend in all that time to get up there and just roll down immediately. What's the deal with that? To me it's more impressive just climbing up there.
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(https://blacklabelskates.com/wp-photos/20080515-095313-1.jpg)
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they should call it “round-tine”
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What's my stance on skateboard jokes?
I think they're goofy
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they should call it “round-tine”
That's gold jerry
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Skater in a state that requires a front license plate brings his car to the shop, he says “Hey mechanic “Hey I need you to move my license plate”.
Mechanic asks “why?” Skater says “I’m practicing slappy crooks and don’t want to get pulled over for not having a front license plate after grinding it off!”
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Skateboarders are like cockroaches
Haha
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Did you hear about that one skater that went pro for Bryte?
Me, neither!!!
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why’d the filmer get kicked off the sesh?
he kept focusing the skaters the board
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on a scale from 1-10 .. how old is fetty potters girlfriend
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So I say to this kid on a skateboard, I say "hey why don't you paint a face on that thing, a couple of eyes, nose, maybe glue some fuck'n straw on there: then you could fuck it and call it a day, just rip the goddamn skin of that dumb prick a yours with some mob m80."
Kid just stands there looking at me like i'm a fuck'n cow on an indian highway, then he asks if I wanna play skate. And I ask you again, what the fuck is this world coming to.
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So I say to this kid on a skateboard, I say "hey why don't you paint a face on that thing, a couple of eyes, nose, maybe glue some fuck'n straw on there: then you could fuck it and call it a day, just rip the goddamn skin of that dumb prick a yours with some mob m80."
Kid just stands there looking at me like i'm a fuck'n cow on an indian highway, then he asks if I wanna play skate. And I ask you again, what the fuck is this world coming to.
You’re like one of those gritty, foul mouthed 80’s character comics.
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So I say to this kid on a skateboard, I say "hey why don't you paint a face on that thing, a couple of eyes, nose, maybe glue some fuck'n straw on there: then you could fuck it and call it a day, just rip the goddamn skin of that dumb prick a yours with some mob m80."
Kid just stands there looking at me like i'm a fuck'n cow on an indian highway, then he asks if I wanna play skate. And I ask you again, what the fuck is this world coming to.
You’re like one of those gritty, foul mouthed 80’s character comics.
Was channeling something not sure what I was going for but that sounds about right.
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on a scale from 1-10 .. how old is fetty potters girlfriend
Gnar’d for the laugh.
I don’t dabble much in astrology, so I don’t know what Fetty’s sign is, but if I were to guess, I’d go with… Cancer?
And if you’re thinking I’ve crossed a line of good taste, or social decorum here, let me state unequivocally that I feel zero remorse for cracking wise about a nonce having a potentially deadly diagnosis.
There! I said it.
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Little Leandre, skated the wrong way
Busted a tre in a ditch
Umm, said Steve Berra
Are those the new Eras?
They’re Cariumas, you stupid ass bitch!
OHHHHHH!
(http://uploads-bookingentertain.netdna-ssl.com/minified//artists/web_andrewdiceclaybanner460315_052018224307.jpg)
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Little Leandre, skated the wrong way
Busted a tre in a ditch
Umm, said Steve Berra
Are those the new Eras?
They’re Cariumas, you stupid ass bitch!
OHHHHHH!
(http://uploads-bookingentertain.netdna-ssl.com/minified//artists/web_andrewdiceclaybanner460315_052018224307.jpg)
Haha, holy shit
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Skateboarding is great when you're hyped and want to try two thousand of something.
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Little Leandre, skated the wrong way
Busted a tre in a ditch
Umm, said Steve Berra
Are those the new Eras?
They’re Cariumas, you stupid ass bitch!
OHHHHHH!
(http://uploads-bookingentertain.netdna-ssl.com/minified//artists/web_andrewdiceclaybanner460315_052018224307.jpg)
Haha, holy shit
Didn’t have high hopes for this thread but this is a masterpiece.
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Have ya heard about Mike V’s new company?
Don’t worry, he’ll tell you about it!
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Skateboarders are like cockroaches
Haha
someone heres said before that pro skaters are circus animals. always thought that was funny
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Rip n dip. That's the joke.
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You know what really grinds my trucks these damn dumb ass uneducated skaters don’t know that it’s a part of such brand not apart of such brand.
Yes I know it’s not funny but that shit really pisses me off.
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I know all about skateboard standup jokes… Every time I try to stand on a skateboard, people laugh at me like I’m some kind of joke!
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(https://i.imgur.com/SCvSLUn.jpg)
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Why did Ben Nordberg say yes when Mikey Taylor asked him to ride for SOVRN?
He didn’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth.
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Why did Ben Nordberg say yes when Mikey Taylor asked him to ride for SOVRN?
He didn’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth.
True enough; you NEVER inspect the present pony’s hay hole.
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Why did Ben Nordberg say yes when Mikey Taylor asked him to ride for SOVRN?
He didn’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth.
The routine then continues like this:
Still, Ben has second thoughts and asks, Mikey, are you sure you know how to run a board company?
Mikey answers: Don’t you worry. This isn’t my first rodeo!
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dude 1- have you seen Dan Mancina's new video part?
guy 2- no
dude 1- neither has he. kaboom
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when did Jason Jesse start feeling Independent as a child? When he IronCrossed the street by himself
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Naked blonde walks into a bar with a skateboard under one arm and a 2 foot salami under the other.
Leaves the board on the table.
Bartender says, "I suppose you won't be needing a drink".
Naked lady says...
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How many skaters does it take to change a lightning? three one to do it, one to film it and one to spot and high five the one that did it.
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which skater has the thinnest penis? Dan Pensyldick
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Why did Ben Nordberg say yes when Mikey Taylor asked him to ride for SOVRN?
He didn’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth.
The routine then continues like this:
Still, Ben has second thoughts and asks, Mikey, are you sure you know how to run a board company?
Mikey answers: Don’t you worry. This isn’t my first rodeo!
Mikey Taylor walks into a bar.
Bartender: "why the long face?"
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Why did Ben Nordberg say yes when Mikey Taylor asked him to ride for SOVRN?
He didn’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth.
The routine then continues like this:
Still, Ben has second thoughts and asks, Mikey, are you sure you know how to run a board company?
Mikey answers: Don’t you worry. This isn’t my first rodeo!
Mikey Taylor walks into a bar.
Bartender: "why the long face?"
The next night.
Mikey Taylor walks into a bar.
Bartender: "You're back. Still with the long face?'
Taylor glares at him over his pint of St Archer.
Mikey: "Alex Midler just quit".
Bartender: "Holy crap! A talking horse!"
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So I sees this kid I says to him I says that I sees him so I told em to tell tell him that I says I sees hims I says he says to tell him he says he sees me I sees him and I’m like come on bro I tells him I sees him and ha whatdayaknow I tell I sees
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KJmJfykkx0&t=30s (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3KJmJfykkx0&t=30s)
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According to inside sources, Jamie Foy is apparently looking for a new primary care physician.
When asked for comment, Foy stated that the final straw was when the doctor grabbed his stethoscope and asked for Foy to “open wide and say oink.”
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i laughed so hard my asshole exploded. then i went online and bought a pair of glassy brand gamer eyeglasses. thank you Mike Mo and thank you sneaky secrets
Hahaha
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I made a limerick instead
There once was a skater named Weck
Who would spout only internet dreck
He made slurs about trans
though Weck's a hormone made man
probably lurking in a windowless van.
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Naked blonde walks into a bar with a skateboard under one arm and a 2 foot salami under the other.
Leaves the board on the table.
Bartender says, "I suppose you won't be needing a drink".
Naked lady says...
(https://media.giphy.com/media/tnYri4n2Frnig/giphy.gif)
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Did you know that Nyjah and David Loy are romantics?
They put the "sensual" back into "consensual sex."
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Camp woodward something something, neverland ranch... idk.
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I made a limerick instead
There once was a skater named Weck
Who would spout only internet dreck
He made slurs about trans
though Weck's a hormone made man
probably lurking in a windowless van.
the syllable count is off but this is still gold, a+
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How many skaters does it take to change a lightning? three one to do it, one to film it and one to spot and high five the one that did it.
Ah, I came here to post the N. American version of this.
SLAP came up with a few versions of this that were pretty good. My fav was:
...1, but it takes 50 tries.
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Camp woodward something something, neverland ranch... idk.
what time is curfew at woodward?
when the big hand touches the little hand
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Gary’s dig at Koston was the first time I’ve laughed hard at his schtick in a while
https://youtu.be/Yiv2CLZZsSk
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Camp woodward something something, neverland ranch... idk.
what time is curfew at woodward?
when the big hand touches the little hand
(https://i.imgur.com/SCvSLUn.jpg)
Lol
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Pizza? Glue? Bacon? Heroin?
Are these skateboard companies or my in-law’s breakfast menu!?
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I made a limerick instead
There once was a skater named Weck
Who would spout only internet dreck
He made slurs about trans
though Weck's a hormone made man
probably lurking in a windowless van.
Sang this in dollins drunk baker2g intro voice.
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on a scale from 1-10 .. how old is fetty potters girlfriend
'insert crying face emoji x3'
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what if you ran an AI on this thread thats trying to learn humor
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What’s up with Castillo like how he’s perpetually twelve years old
Oh yeah he hasn’t got a dad
It’s a joke I ain’t got one either ahaha
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Why did berra wait to cross the road?
Because Xenu better than to cross before traffic stopped.
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Look I’m not saying Berra’s making a lot of money off his Cariuma partnership, but the other day he had to be rushed to the emergency room after he fell off his wallet.
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Look I’m not saying Berra’s making a lot of money off his Cariuma partnership, but the other day he had to be rushed to the emergency room after he fell off his wallet.
I heard he was already cleared by the time he got there.
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Did you know that Jason Jesse's grandfather died at the WW2 Concentration Camp?
He was drunk and fell off the guard tower.
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Every year my toddler's preschool works on a "class art project". This years was the best yet - it's called Frog Skateboards
I heard that once Bobby Puleo delivers a pizza to an apartment, no one else can ever deliver anything else there or else they're spot-stealing culture vultures
Habitat started out recruiting skaters from Alien, but then they moved on to Guitar Center
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Hey Olson, call me if you need a team rider for 917. I've always wanted to skate for FA.
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What's the deal with airline policies making me focus my board to take it in as a carry on? I mean, it might be considered a weapon, but now I have 2 of em and now they're sharp. Next thing you know they're gonna start letting me take my T tool on!
And another thing. Are they thinking they can save the duct tape they used to use on passengers to put the thing back together after the flight? I can't use that board anymore! Who do they think I am? Matt Tomasello?
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Lk130
Was feeling quite chirpy
And published his thoughts for us all
I gave it a read
But had to concede
That shit didn't make sense at all
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^ Very nice! We're veering off from skateboarding jokes into slap jokes but whatever:
LK 130 is caught jerking off at work.
His boss confronts him: "You fucking millennials have no respect whatsoever! Why the fuck did you do that?"
LK 130: "OK Boomer!"
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Every year my toddler's preschool works on a "class art project". This years was the best yet - it's called Frog Skateboards
I heard that once Bobby Puleo delivers a pizza to an apartment, no one else can ever deliver anything else there or else they're spot-stealing culture vultures
Habitat started out recruiting skaters from Alien, but then they moved on to Guitar Center
these are fucking hilarious
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Hey Olson, call me if you need a team rider for 917. I've always wanted to skate for FA.
Beautiful
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Brie anyone catch that new Suciu part? He was popping off more than Alec Baldwin on the set of his new movie!
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What do Ricky Oyola, Steve Berra, and Jovontae Turner have in common?
Slap!
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*Comedian doing crowd work. He points at a drunk, sweaty person.
Comedian: So, what do you do for a living?
Person: I'm a pro skater.
Comedian: A PROFESSIONAL skateboarder. So you're unemployed.
*Crowd erupts into laughter.
Comedian: Do you get benefits?
Person: Yeah, I get free product like shoes and decks every month.
Comedian: So you're an unemployed eBay seller.
*Crowd erupts into laughter.