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Skateboarding => USELESS WOODEN TOY BANTER => Topic started by: LonleySk8er15 on May 25, 2022, 12:39:04 PM
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All these pending new board companies, and solo pro brands popping up, why not add one to the pile. What would you call your own brand and the video created to launch it?
This is meant to be an exercise in fun. No i didnt search for similar threads, and no i dont give a fuck if there a hundred just like this already.
Here goes;
Semantic Skates - Well Actually
Incontinent - Poop On The Cutting-Room Floor
Selective Learning Auto Pilots - Dox The Gip
and derailing my own thread in the first post, a covid themed porno called Super-Spreader
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Bland Bloard Brand - Now Bloarding Bland
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Cast Iron, cook without it stick- Fully Seasoned
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Board brand: Beach Volleyball Skateboards
Title of debut full-length: Divine Secrets of the Yo-Yo Skaterhood
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Board brand: NEBRASKA WOOD CO
Name of debut video:
NEBRASKA, HOE!
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ankel braclet skatebloards
"could never be me" dropping soon
featuring lk130 debut pro part!
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Nine Juan Seven skateboards, first video would be called For Juan Juan, itd be almost exactly like ATM Click but with much less of an impact on skateboarding.
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(https://i.ibb.co/QpnCd01/A93294-F5-EE8-B-41-E9-B0-DE-9-DB688-EA9762.jpg) (https://ibb.co/QpnCd01)
Shrimple Stix - Shoot to Krill
Shrimple Stix - Can’t Catch Us
Shrimple Stix - Claw is the Law
Shrimple Stix - Hell in a Shell
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Anti-Villain: Destination Known
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Cheese Skateboards proudly presents Say Cheese.
The strong focus on dairy products paired with a totally positive outlook on life, rooted in a the fundamental believe in GOD, will get the brand an in with the desillusioned youths in the Bible Belt.
Just imagine a Got milk x Almost collab. J Casanova mandatory first pro, Wenning CEO, both making cheddar until the brand folds in early 2023.
Later on the world will find out that it was all a front to launder drug money.
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Cheese Skateboards proudly presents Say Cheese.
The strong focus on dairy products paired with a totally positive outlook on life, rooted in a the fundamental believe in GOD, will get the brand an in with the desillusioned youths in the Bible Belt.
Just imagine a Got milk x Almost collab. J Casanova mandatory first pro, Wenning CEO, both making cheddar until the brand folds in early 2023.
Later on the world will find out that it was all a front to launder drug money.
Can also see the brand misusing COVID funds on an unfortunate decision to make a board for every type of cheese under the sun.
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Bloard Brand: Disorder
Full Length Title: House Party 4: Out of Court Settlementz
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pj ladd's wonderful horrible wife
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love a good "name your bloard band" thread.
bloard brand: football numbers
debut full length: micheal irvin
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B-Squad Skateboards presents "Cut From The Team"
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Slappy Boardz, Too old to ollie
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Sorry Skateboards
No Flippity
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Skateboarf Brand - What will Marvin post next?
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Garden Skate—NJ Skate of Mind
We only sponsor skaters who can prove they were born in NJ and are current residents. I need a birth certificate and a piece of certified mail.
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bloardbrand: Way Cool
video: That Whole Blood, Death, Dismemberment Go-For-It Type Of Thing
bonus catalog excerpt from archive:
(https://i.ibb.co/YtQt0KF/55-BEA270-6-D02-469-D-8883-8194344-C1-F56.jpg) (https://ibb.co/YtQt0KF)
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Slappy Boardz, Too old to ollie
So...Tired Skateboards?
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Expand Quote
Slappy Boardz, Too old to ollie
So...Tired Skateboards?
Uh yeah pretty much
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Hymentology Skate co. - Unbroken
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Boy - hell no
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Ouija Board Co, Ghost Pop
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Offender Skateboards - Dog Funeral
or
Drift Skate co. - Shadow Captain
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Ouija Board Co, Ghost Pop
I’m could see a Forest Whitaker series…
(https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/81nAwB3TMdL._SX342_.jpg)
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Aging Pros - Past our Prime
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Big Country - In a Big Country (tour video)
https://youtu.be/657TZDHZqj4
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Weed skates- 420
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Good at Heart Skate Co.
Give me my money Red Bull, featuring Taylor Silverman
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SHAWTY'S - How To Turn Yourself Pro
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Blowjob Skates - Mortal Kumbath (finish him... off)
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Greco Industries - when cosplayers attack!
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Lawndale Sk8s - "Fresh As Monkey's Breath, Brother" (a/k/a "FAMBB")
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Fred Ball- Timechode
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Slap Skateboard Magazine Messageboard Skateboards - Wood Gnar
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Wood Skateboards - In your face
Seaman Skateboards - Walk the plank
Or vice versa ;D
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Mum Skateboards - "Mum's The Word"
Tour video - "Mum's Gone To Iceland"
2nd Full Length - "Don't Tell Mum The Babysitter's Dead"
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Power Prawn-elta- Celebrity Tropical Lobster
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They Owe Bloards proudly presents "Next Time Sent 10"
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Wood Skateboards - In your face
Seaman Skateboards - Walk the plank
Or vice versa ;D
I shouldnt have expected anything better from someone who's username rhymes with Dick McStank
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Bubbler Boards- What Everybody Else Does
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Expand Quote
Wood Skateboards - In your face
Seaman Skateboards - Walk the plank
Or vice versa ;D
You may also call me Dong McStrong. 8)
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Weed skates- 420
Wanna collab? Weed Skates X Weed Trucks
(https://i.ibb.co/Tmx8n0V/truck-r1.jpg)
(https://i.ibb.co/gDX3VTs/truck-r3.jpg)
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Whalecock skateboards already exists with the perfect team and amount of coverage.
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Brand: Nuisance Bear
Video: Dumpster Dive
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B-Squad Skateboards presents "Cut From The Team"
your lipstick his collar dont bother angel i know exactly what goes on
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ankel braclet skatebloards
"could never be me" dropping soon
featuring lk130 debut pro part!
that aint happening. He's already pro for his own company, Bird Dog Skateboards.
https://www.instagram.com/p/Cd6-nEzsO6n/?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet
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Name: Smithers and Williamson Fine Crafted Planks
Debut: Planking Pugilists
(https://static01.nyt.com/images/2015/04/05/magazine/05onclothing_ss-slide-4LML/05onclothing_ss-slide-4LML-superJumbo.jpg)
that would be what the team would look like ^
all 1800s style dudes with pencil mustaches and finely tailored garments. I think Dakota Servold would be the first guy id try to get on. I would
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Third Try Skateboards - Everything Hurts
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Name: Smithers and Williamson Fine Crafted Planks
Debut: Planking Pugilists
(https://static01.nyt.com/images/2015/04/05/magazine/05onclothing_ss-slide-4LML/05onclothing_ss-slide-4LML-superJumbo.jpg)
that would be what the team would look like ^
all 1800s style dudes with pencil mustaches and finely tailored garments. I think Dakota Servold would be the first guy id try to get on. I would
Filmed 100% on those cameras that required dudes to go under a blanket to take
Such core footage of gentlemen squabbling with other gentlemen riding Penny Farthing BMX bikes at 2022 skateparks
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Wood Skateboards - In your face
Seaman Skateboards - Walk the plank
Or vice versa ;D
Walk the Plank sounds like a video for longboarders doing flat ground tricks.
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Foreskin Skateboards - Just The Tip
DriveThru Skate Co. - Next Window Please
BabyFace Skates - Can I See Some ID?
CreditOrDebit Skate Co. - Try Swiping
GasStation Skateboards - $20 Cash Regular
Password Skates - Not Strong Enough
Microwave Skateboards - 1 Sec.
Customer Service Skate Co. - Please Hold For The Next Representative
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Wanna collab? Weed Skates X Weed Trucks
(https://i.ibb.co/Tmx8n0V/truck-r1.jpg)
(https://i.ibb.co/gDX3VTs/truck-r3.jpg)
Only if the trucks can be used as a multi purpose tool to clean my bong
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Expand Quote
ankel braclet skatebloards
"could never be me" dropping soon
featuring lk130 debut pro part!
that aint happening. He's already pro for his own company, Bird Dog Skateboards.
Contracts in the works G
Ankle Bracelet setting the streets on fire 2k23
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Expand Quote
Wanna collab? Weed Skates X Weed Trucks
(https://i.ibb.co/Tmx8n0V/truck-r1.jpg)
(https://i.ibb.co/gDX3VTs/truck-r3.jpg)
The trucks ARE the bong, maaaan
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The Friend Zone - Hold My Purse
Skidmark Skates - Hershey Stains
Incel Skateboards - Frustrated Incorporated
369 - Sock It to Me One More Time
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April 20th - 420
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Flat Earth Skateboards (freestyle company) - Flat Ground Tricks
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Morning Wood Co., Purveyors of rock-hard decks
“The Harder They Cum”
Or
“Deck-riding Sluts”
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Expand Quote
Name: Smithers and Williamson Fine Crafted Planks
Debut: Planking Pugilists
(https://static01.nyt.com/images/2015/04/05/magazine/05onclothing_ss-slide-4LML/05onclothing_ss-slide-4LML-superJumbo.jpg)
that would be what the team would look like ^
all 1800s style dudes with pencil mustaches and finely tailored garments. I think Dakota Servold would be the first guy id try to get on. I would
Such core footage of gentlemen squabbling with other gentlemen riding Penny Farthing BMX bikes at 2022 skateparks
I'm feeling all of this
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Gaylord Skateboards, our first video would be called "Inside Joke"
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Morning Wood Co., Purveyors of rock-hard decks
“The Harder They Cum”
Or
“Deck-riding Sluts”
abd, yall remember fetty potter? the dude from braille that was trying to fuck a 14 year old? morning wood skateboards (still) is his deck sponsor lol
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Expand Quote
Morning Wood Co., Purveyors of rock-hard decks
“The Harder They Cum”
Or
“Deck-riding Sluts”
abd, yall remember fetty potter? the dude from braille that was trying to fuck a 14 year old? morning wood skateboards (still) is his deck sponsor lol
There’s a joke or two to be mined in there
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Youth Group skateboards
First video: Worship service
Second video: sermon
Third video: laying of hands
Fourth video: college dropout
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Message Boards- Anonymous Cowards
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Skin Flute Skateboards
“And they all slang yogurt” full length (haha) out soon