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General Discussion => WHATEVER => Topic started by: ok boomer on June 16, 2022, 02:02:09 PM
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Let me start off by saying, this is my worst fear. Always try to drop the deuce before going out on the town.
I made it until the last month of high school before ever having to deuce at school. My friend consoled me on the way in - very much a "sorry man... hope you're alright" style.. because he knew of my disgust for public deucing.
Fast forward years and years... I guess one kind of accepts, when you gotta shit - you gotta shit. I still am not a fan, but what are you gonna do? Worse fear is shitting my pants. Anyway, as an adult, more or less just dealt with it. Last few years, if I have no choice, I just drop the kids off at the pool. But worse is when someone else is in a stall near or next to you. I suppose to ease my crap anxiety, I've tried to make it more uncomfortable for the other person. My favorite "technique" is going "yeaaah oh yeaah" just loud enough to be heard. Which I got from this at 0:13 :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wVWk6IfRuEE
Today, I had another guest in the bathroom, and I let out a "yeaah release the Kraken!". Person probably going to have nightmares.
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headphones in, if possible
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If I know that someone is waiting for me, all lower GI and urinary function completely seizes due to involuntary fight or flight response. The ancient lizard part of my brain fully believes this person is likely to attempt to murder me mid-pee pee/poo poo.
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I've never understood people's aversion to using public restrooms. If you've gotta take a shit, take a shit. No one cares. Everybody poops.
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Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime, that’s why I shit on company time.
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The question you have to ask yourself is ’can I make it home?’.
Last time I was at Newak Airport dropping a coworker off I decided I could wait the 1 hr until I got home. It was when I noticed the Molly Pitcher Rest Stop (shout out) was closed that I began to panic. Luckily, Exit 8 was not far away so I just barely made it to a Dunkin’ Donuts and I was so relieved.
Pro tip: Dunkin’ Donuts bathrooms are always cleaner than Starbucks. Starbucks bathrooms are always nasty.
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The question you have to ask yourself is ’can I make it home?’.
Last time I was at Newak Airport dropping a coworker off I decided I could wait the 1 hr until I got home. It was when I noticed the Molly Pitcher Rest Stop (shout out) was closed that I began to panic. Luckily, Exit 8 was not far away so I just barely made it to a Dunkin’ Donuts and I was so relieved.
Pro tip: Dunkin’ Donuts bathrooms are always cleaner than Starbucks. Starbucks bathrooms are always nasty.
I don't know man, where I grew up DD shitters were brutal. I worked at one for 3 weeks when I was a kid and had to clean bathrooms. real, real bad.
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Got this idea that women's bathrooms are always nicer than men's because they have to sit down every time. There's always some dickhead that takes a piss all over the toilet and doesn't clean up so then the next guy is like well I'm not cleaning up thats someone else's mess and then messes on-top and is like well it's already messy and so on and so on until the toilet is a bomb site. This leads to stage two of the problem where guys only shit in public bathrooms when it's an absolute code Red. They held it until explosion point and just destroyed the toilet then leave as quickly as possible.
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Public deucing: no thank you.
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This poor bastard at the Eaton Center in Toronto was taking a shit and throwing up all over the floor. What a hellish day that must of been for him.
Worst public shit I ever took was in a train station in Moscow. Squat toilets, pay for toilet paper, shit on the walls/doors, and right before I went in there someone threw up on my legs. And then, I had a 30+ hour train ride down to Sochi. I was not stoked on life that morning.
I don't know man, where I grew up DD shitters were brutal. I worked at one for 3 weeks when I was a kid and had to clean bathrooms. real, real bad.
I worked fast-food for nearly all of high-school. I never cleaned the bathroom properly. I'd go in there, spray the cleaning fluid in the air and then walk right back out.
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For some reason I perform better in public spaces than I do at home?
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After years of shooting up in public bathrooms pooping shouldn't really bother me but I still hate it. I just don't want to hear or smell another dude shitting.
Theres a couple unmarked or otherwise hidden toilets in the depths of the hospital I work at. They're kind of straddling the line between public and private. I found one many moons ago when I was still just a patient there and was trying to find an empty room to mess around with my rehab roommate's daughter. Years later when I got hired I learned that there were others scattered around the building and they're basically the maintenance guys private shitter network. I try not to abuse the privelege, but if I have to shit at work that's where I'm going.
There's also a lactation station (or as the little old black guy I was training once loudly referred to it - "the titty milk room") which requires a code for access, but I would feel pretty bad if someone had to come in and nurse their kid the day after an Arby's BOGO brisket sale. It might actually curdle the milk.
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i do toilet paper round the seat, a sheat in the toilet to avoid the kiss of poseidon, and inner elbow over my nose and mouth to try and filter out peoples airborne shit particles
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also dont keep your toothbrush in your toilet/bathroom. shit particles, im telling you
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For some reason I always have to poop in thrift stores. The smell of used clothing is a natural laxative for me. Though they’re arguably one of the worst poop-in-public spots due to the low noise level, lack of other concealing scents, and proximity to customers. But if I have to go while out, no gas station, coffee shop or grocery store is safe. Dgaf. Probably get more self conscious about bad hair days than pooping in public tbh.
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I won't turn up my nose at free toilet paper hey
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i do toilet paper round the seat, a sheat in the toilet to avoid the kiss of poseidon, and inner elbow over my nose and mouth to try and filter out peoples airborne shit particles
This is a great one lol I'm using it from now on ty
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Replying to the thread I refused to shit at public restrooms
When I was in college whenever I felt the need to poop I would go home and not come back for the day. I had to take the subway and boat (and then drive all the way from the boat station) to get home so that was like an hour commute.
One day it hit me so bad that I thought "Shit I can't make it home" so I went to one of the college restrooms. I felt so relieved after taking a massive dump that day that my fear had basically disappeared. I was shitting there every other day lol
Now everytime I'm out the house and I need to take a shit I just do it and continue with my day
But yeah I use LB's technique aswell, toilet paper on the seat and on the toilet.
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I was a hella shy pooper up until I enlisted. Ideally, I’m pooping at home and using my bidet, but I also abide by the, “Any port in a storm” mentality. I’ve got no problem shitting whenever or wherever. Outside, no toilet? No worries. Portapotties? Literally all the time, but mostly after I cleaned them. Bathroom at a grocery store? Hell yeah, that cute cashier three isles over is gonna hear that chicken vindaloo from last night being exorcised out of me.
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I definitely avoid it if I can, and when i can't it's always a process. I always survey the available stalls for the cleanest looking option, do a pre-flush, and layer up the seat with TP. I've found that as I get older my bowels will tell me "This is happening whether you like it or not, so you better get onboard while there's still time."
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This one time in Madagascar I ate a cheese ham toast at the airport. During the inland flight I felt like I’m gonna die and was not sure if I have to puke or to shit or both. That was the worst experience in a public restroom in my life. The following two weeks was puking and shitting liquids in the most remote part of the country.
And this one time In Thailand I went to the dining area restroom after some Chinese dude. That was disgusting, shit all over the place.
But usually I’m not afraid of public restrooms.
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Public deucing: no thank you.
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I keep travel size baby wipes and lysol wipes in the kit at all times when away from the house. i know, i know, it's bad for plumbing and the environment but i use a bidet at home so hopefully it balances. Give the toilet a wipe with the lysol wipes, cover the seat, clean up with the baby wipes. Keep my airpods on noise cancellation so I can feel like i'm alone, keep the mask on. Works pretty well.
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i do toilet paper round the seat, a sheat in the toilet to avoid the kiss of poseidon, and inner elbow over my nose and mouth to try and filter out peoples airborne shit particles
Shit particles, or, if you will… Poo-ticles?
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i do toilet paper round the seat, a sheat in the toilet to avoid the kiss of poseidon, and inner elbow over my nose and mouth to try and filter out peoples airborne shit particles
Sharticles
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I used to know all of the single use bathrooms (i.e. just a bathroom like you would have at your home) in the city that I could get access too.
The only one I remember now is 530 Walnut St - 3rd floor - the Superior Court there has a single use bathroom. I think anybody can just go up there still, as it is a court, but I'm not sure.
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I was a hella shy pooper up until I enlisted. Ideally, I’m pooping at home and using my bidet, but I also abide by the, “Any port in a storm” mentality. I’ve got no problem shitting whenever or wherever. Outside, no toilet? No worries. Portapotties? Literally all the time, but mostly after I cleaned them. Bathroom at a grocery store? Hell yeah, that cute cashier three isles over is gonna hear that chicken vindaloo from last night being exorcised out of me.
You were the guy who used the honey bucket on transatlantic c-130 flights "just to see what it's like" weren't you?
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First thread participation outside of gear threads, now you're speaking my language 8)
I have a weird germ thing with public restrooms. Putting down TP on the seat isn't enough and I get grossed out. I lift up the seat and squat n shit if I can't hold it until I'm home. Best timing is right after a janitor cleaned up the bathroom/toilets and the water still has the blue cleaner stuff in the bowl, that's when I know I can sit safely and in peace and take my time. Not sure why anyone would get "shy" and care about shit noises though. It's a dude bathroom, let 'er rip fellas.
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If we're doing bad public toilet stories (soz if this is really long) the other year I had to get a cystoscopy (camera in your dick) and afterwards you have to piss in a jug a bunch of times so it's a couple hours of just drinking water and going to the toilet. Anyway one time I go and I'm like ah I need to shit but it's a gross hospital toilet so I cover the seat in paper but still fully lean to one side and I like hold my junk out the toilet thinking if I need to piss I'll go in the jug. Anyway I guess my body was a bit different after the procedure but I randomly shoot out a jet of burgundy blood filled piss all over the wall and toilet paper. Then I'm trying to clean it up but the paper is that super cheap thin waxy paper so I'm using so much wiping the wall and floor then I notice there's still blood piss on the toilet paper roll but it's one of those massive like foot and a half diameter rolls so I unwind it straight into the toilet until there's no blood but the toilet now is completely full of paper like up to the seat. And I don't know what to do this might clog the toilet but I'm not reaching into a gross hospital toilet to get the paper out soon I flush and only a little bit goes down so I flush again and hold the button and of course it fucking overflows so I'm like hopping around (I'm barefoot and just wearing a gown) and luckily think to turn the water off at the wall so it wasn't too crazy but then very embarrassing having to tell the nurses Infront of a crowded room that I broke the toilet. The nurses were super pissed because I'd been in there a week earlier and been a bit of a handful but couldn't really do anything and I guess there was a bit of karma because I still had to keep pissing in the jug but now had to go all the way to a different toilet.
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I used to avoid pooping in public at all costs. Until I got a job as an arborist and had to dig holes to shit in.
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A long time ago someone told me that, if you can smell poop, you’re inhaling poo particles. It has molded my massive amount of discomfort when entering public restrooms in general.
Poop on the street
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i avoid it at all costs. but i would always rather shit on the ground next to somebody than shit in my pants at the end of the day. when it gets to the point of needing to use a public restroom all of the worry is gone because its either shit myself or dont shit myself.
last weekend went golfing with my dad and brothers and on the 10th hole i got the bubble gut rumble. i told them i may be running to the woods and was informed there was a porta jon a few holes ahead. i played my best 3 holes in a row ever (which is not great -par, bogie, par). by the time we got to the porta jon i was actually feeling better and was fine until i got home. something about exercise in the summer heat has always been iffy on my bowels. would have been my 3rd or 4th shit in the woods between skating/golf in the summer. but again, always would rather shit outside of my pants.
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Forgot to mention that.... a year ago... I was in the back of the warehouse, when my stomach started making strange sounds and feelings grumbling through me. I knew it was only a matter of time. I went to the front bathroom (less disgusting) and both men and women's rooms were taken. I couldn't believe it. Short on time, I scrambled - knees clenched - to the back bathroom (totally gr0ss). The male's stalls were taken there also, so I knocked on the women's room and it was totally empty. Fuck it - at this point it has to be done. In that area, there is only 1 woman that works back there. Anyways, I release the Kraken and am just about done with clean up - the outer door opens, so I just sit back down, for fear that it is her. The stall next to me closes and I can see the shoe - it is her. I just want to remain as quiet as possible and get out of this shituation ASAP. Well, she starts blasting ass over there. Pflllpt, Pflarpthhh, Skerrrttt.. just violent diarrhea splatter. I let her finish before I get out of there. Tried to cover my ears. But I can't look her in the face and I see her every day. Luckily, our 2 jobs don't really have anything to do with each other. I walked by her today and she says "Hey hows it goin?" and I just say "Aiit" and kept going. Sucked!
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I will bomb the women’s bathroom at work daily.
Anyhoo, always had a weird feeling cuttin logs anywhere from home base growin up. One time in 11th grade I went to the office and said I had to go home to shit, waited for my dad out front, and stayed home the rest of the day.
In my early 20’s I worked for the Forrest service and was forced to get through that mental barrier. One time I hiked out away from the crew in a field to where I thought was secluded. In the middle of ‘making,’ a woman riding a horse trotted by and stared at me directly in my eyes while I was squatting down perched like a gargoyle statue tryin to push out some mre’s I had earlier.
Going to jail when I was younger also helped my anxiety for dropping deuces. Imagine trying to crap while some dude is next to you having a deep conversation on how he’s goin to turn his life around when he gets out. Or the guy on the other side of u pissing saying he’s gonna start taking care of his kids once he gets out and gets his act together.
Because of riding bikes long distance everywhere I’ve been forced to dookie in some weird environments and am totally comfortable nowadays. Always got wet wipes packed and gotta be sure that door stays locked and shut. Just recently I went to a gas station off the bike trail in El Monte. Do Do’ed, clogged it up, looked the attendant in the eyes as I bought some Reese’s cups, then walked outside, unlocked my bike and continued On my journey home.
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Y'alls bloodlines are weak and history will not remember you
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First thread participation outside of gear threads, now you're speaking my language 8)
Your user name now has a whole new significance.
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Y'alls bloodlines are weak and history will not remember you
sig'd
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I used to go to these two bars where the bathroom just had a toilet and urinal in plain view. It was a real power move to take a shit in there and I always relished it.
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A long time ago someone told me that, if you can smell poop, you’re inhaling poo particles. It has molded my massive amount of discomfort when entering public restrooms in general.
Poop on the street
I think you may be misinterpreting that a bit. You're breathing in the same VOCs that are in everything that has a scent, not like tiny chunks of shit. Just like you aren't going to get high from smelling that someone is smoking weed across the room, you're not going to get sick.
Also it's good to remember your immune system is like a muscle. You have to use it or it gets weak. Go out and start doing breathing exercises in the airport bathroom immediately.
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I dont love it but i think its kind of fun. Theres some good ones in the mall where I live, nice water and people. Its like visiting your parents you initially dont feel like it but then you get there and you have a good time. im kidding it sucks
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I’ve come to rely on a wet piece of high quality toilet paper to get nice and clean. When I’m in a public toilet I can never get spotless and eventually my ass itches.
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If I know that someone is waiting for me, all lower GI and urinary function completely seizes due to involuntary fight or flight response. The ancient lizard part of my brain fully believes this person is likely to attempt to murder me mid-pee pee/poo poo.
Absolutely agree with this sentiment. For me to fight this feeling or poop comfortably I usually go to the family restroom where it’s one person sized or the handicapped stall.
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For anyone in need this IG posts updates on the ever changing bathroom codes for NYC:
http://www.instagram.com/p/Cd8wEtZOuyG/
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If I know that someone is waiting for me, all lower GI and urinary function completely seizes due to involuntary fight or flight response. The ancient lizard part of my brain fully believes this person is likely to attempt to murder me mid-pee pee/poo poo.
During peak covid lockdowns, the university was super empty and I was basically the only person in the building doing some experiments. I was using the disabled toilets twice a day for like 3 months. It got to the point where I felt better shitting there than at home because there is a shower, 2 types of paper to choose from and the soap dispenser is the posh type that dispenses foam. Happy days.
Took a shit in an airplane toilet once when there was turbulence and the flight attendants were knocking at the door asking me to return to my seat. I ignored them but it was very embarrassing when I got out and 2 attendants along with most passengers from first class were giving me weird looks.
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If I have to shit in public, these days if I’m near a pregnant/mothers change room, it’s always so clean and has nice music playing. Some even have sofas
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If I know that someone is waiting for me, all lower GI and urinary function completely seizes due to involuntary fight or flight response. The ancient lizard part of my brain fully believes this person is likely to attempt to murder me mid-pee pee/poo poo.
During peak covid lockdowns, the university was super empty and I was basically the only person in the building doing some experiments. I was using the disabled toilets twice a day for like 3 months. It got to the point where I felt better shitting there than at home because there is a shower, 2 types of paper to choose from and the soap dispenser is the posh type that dispenses foam. Happy days.
Took a shit in an airplane toilet once when there was turbulence and the flight attendants were knocking at the door asking me to return to my seat. I ignored them but it was very embarrassing when I got out and 2 attendants along with most passengers from first class were giving me weird looks.
Not a poop story, but your story reminded me of the time I disregarded the flight attendants request for me to take a seat, and was mid piss when the plane landed. When you gotta go, you gotta go.
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Got this idea that women's bathrooms are always nicer than men's because they have to sit down every time.
You've clearly never been in a women's bathroom in Spain then.
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TLDR: I went to a restroom and didn’t realize there wasn’t any TP. Used a seat cover and May have cut my hole.
I used to not care. I’d lay a seat cover or two and poop. This one time in middle school or HS. My parents took me to a buffet. I got the urge and ran to the restroom. This was a random code red, I sat down and while dancing out on the seat. I went to work and then realized my mistake… they didn’t have TP. I was looking at what I could do and realized that there wasn’t anywhere to dispose a sock or my boxers so I mad do. I used the seat covers and it was the cheap kind that you fold and it may as well be a sharp blade. I suffered and never stepped into one until i started working and had to go at work.
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Got this idea that women's bathrooms are always nicer than men's because they have to sit down every time.
You've clearly never been in a women's bathroom in Spain then.
Anywhere really. When it's the lady's room you're not just dealing with shit and piss, you're adding blood to the equation. I worked in convenience stores all through high school/my first attempt at college and I've seen and smelled unspeakable things.
Even nowadays I can't escape it, in our staff bathroom at work someone keeps spraying or flinging tiny droplets of blood on the wall around the toilet. Its like someone is getting the motions for removing a tampon and pull starting a weedwhacker mixed up.
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A benefit of my regular amphetamine and coffee intake is that I’m quite regular. That said, I still try to map out prime pooping real estate in the places I spent a lot of time, just in case. Although, I think working in restaurants really forced me to learn to roll with the punches. There’s nothing quite like being made fun of by attractive front of house staff for haunting the employee washroom with beer and burger based butt ghosts.
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there was a Drehobl interverw where he was asked about shitting in public restrooms and he sat he never uses the paper covers and just sits on the seat. So I do that too now. Recently I was driving home from a weekend trip, like a 4 hour drive before traffic but there a shit load of traffic so I stopped at a Target for a poo break and to hunt for some baby formula. sat right on the seat and took a mean loud dump and heard an "oh man" from someone at the urinals. then I scored 4 large formulas and was back in even worse traffic a new man. I like to stay in truck lane an trickle past all the yahoos that are scared of that lane and wanna be in the middle or left lanes. I slowly passed thousands of cars
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I'm pretty sure Dan Drehobl is the Keith Richards of skateboarding.
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Its like someone is getting the motions for removing a tampon and pull starting a weedwhacker mixed up.
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I have no issue with loosing brown in public restrooms but I have to take a few security steps in order to make my crapping experience as comfortable as possible.
1.) throw some toiletpaper to avoid water splashing your arse
2.) wipe off the toiletseat
3.) wear headphones to mute all the moaning people make when pushing out a brownie
4.) make sure that your wiener does not touch the seat at all cost!
Something that I cant deal with though is when I can link the smell of shit to a certain person. Let's say you want to take a shit and see your boss leave the restroom, I can not use the same restroom. This just makes me uncomfortable
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One of My favorite things is taking a nice long shit at a nice public restroom after a night of drinking in an other city. Sit there for like 30 minutes, catch up on slap and YouTube and feel super fresh to drive back home. Has to be actually good though, lots of stalls, walls go all the way down, good airconditioning, maybe even some calming music. Usually either a big new gastation or mall. Airports are goat if you walk all the way to some corner that doesnt have any passengers at that moment, but parking is pain.
Other situations, shitting in a public restroom is usually the worst
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I don't mind shitting in public, but at work. I have put an out of service sign on a stall door 3-4 years ago.
The stall is totally in service, but I am the only one who uses it.
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I have IBS so unfortunately when you gotta go you gotta go.
A few codes of conduct
- once the deuce or juice hits the water, flush it down. Don't subject the next person to your foul stench.
- TP over the front so your dick doesn't touch the toilet
- I always wipe down the seat but I never cover it in TP...seems kinda pointless? I dunno.
- Women's bathrooms always have more stalls so if its an emergency and the men's restroom is occupied, I have no problem going to a women's stall. they can deal with it. we're all human.
Living with IBS is a hellscape in terms of long car trips, long flights, nature adventures. Immodium is my friend.
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you fools need itoilet
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pci_7o6cCbM
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I don't mind shitting in public, but at work. I have put an out of service sign on a stall door 3-4 years ago.
The stall is totally in service, but I am the only one who uses it.
this is a vibe
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I’m pooping in the handicap-stall at work as I type.
There haven’t been any handicapable people employed here during my 5 1/2yrs, and our building is closed to visitors. In general no problem pooping in public as long as it’s a relatively clean stall. I don’t use handi-stalls outside of work tho.
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I used to have public shitphobia until one time I had some insane stomach pains in Target and ran into the stall. Some dude came into the stall next to me a minute later and I happened to catch a glimpse of his feet (he was wearing flip flops) and dude had to have crazy burn scars or some kinda skin condition or something cause his shit was JACKED UP.
Toenails long, yellow and crusty as fuck and crazy amounts of skin peeling off his shit. He let out the most ear shattering, planet shaking song of his people from the deepest part of his bowels that I’m convinced to this day that people in the electronics section across the store had to have heard it, followed by the sound of what must have been his entire intestinal tract collapsing into the bowl at mach 10.
After that, I never felt weird about taking a regular shit in a public restroom as a normal, healthy adult. Someone’s always got it way worse than you. If I were that dude I’d never have come back to that Target for the rest of my life.
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My work building has been a ghost town since the pandemic so it’s probably a more comfortable workday shit than at home where my wife is always asking me for passwords to streaming services through the bathroom door.
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My work building has been a ghost town since the pandemic so it’s probably a more comfortable workday shit than at home where my wife is always asking me for passwords to streaming services through the bathroom door.
This is so relatable it hurts. IVE GIVEN YOU THE FUCKING HULU PASSWORD LIKE TWICE A MONTH FOR YEARS AND YOU STILL DONT FUCKING REMEMBER IT?!
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My work building has been a ghost town since the pandemic so it’s probably a more comfortable workday shit than at home where my wife is always asking me for passwords to streaming services through the bathroom door.
This is so relatable it hurts. IVE GIVEN YOU THE FUCKING HULU PASSWORD LIKE TWICE A MONTH FOR YEARS AND YOU STILL DONT FUCKING REMEMBER IT?!
The password fight is such an absurd fight. My ex used to get super annoyed with me when I couldn't remember the password to her phone, but the she'd constantly ask me for the password to my computer. I was always like, "Do you remember when you'd yell at me for not remembering your password?"
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My work building has been a ghost town since the pandemic so it’s probably a more comfortable workday shit than at home where my wife is always asking me for passwords to streaming services through the bathroom door.
This is so relatable it hurts. IVE GIVEN YOU THE FUCKING HULU PASSWORD LIKE TWICE A MONTH FOR YEARS AND YOU STILL DONT FUCKING REMEMBER IT?!
The password fight is such an absurd fight. My ex used to get super annoyed with me when I couldn't remember the password to her phone, but the she'd constantly ask me for the password to my computer. I was always like, "Do you remember when you'd yell at me for not remembering your password?"
Got in one of these before work this morning. I'll admit it was me starting it though. "Why do you keep changing the Netflix password?". Son was just tryna get his Cobra Kai on
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Why not make an adventure of it... I haven't done this in a long while, but I used to go for the handicapped stalls and remove my pants and underwear and hang them on the hook that's usually on the back of the stall door. Then, I'd climb up onto the handicap bars and center myself over the toilet and release from 4ft up. It requires more skill than you'd think... if your aim is just slightly off, that extra distance between your hole and the target magnifies your poor trajectory and your log may end up on the seat or floor or both. Call it a "Monkey Poo"!
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Why not make an adventure of it... I haven't done this in a long while, but I used to go for the handicapped stalls and remove my pants and underwear and hang them on the hook that's usually on the back of the stall door. Then, I'd climb up onto the handicap bars and center myself over the toilet and release from 4ft up. It requires more skill than you'd think... if your aim is just slightly off, that extra distance between your hole and the target magnifies your poor trajectory and your log may end up on the seat or floor or both. Call it a "Monkey Poo"!
I fucking hate you.
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Very rare for me. Swear every public toilet (or just toilets in general) now is like half as tall as they used to be which makes an uncomfortable situation much worse for a tall guy with bad knees, hip and back.
Last time I had to shit at this x-ray place and the door was broken so I had to have my leg fully stretched out like a cossack to have my toes on the door then their tp was that type that's like magazine pages. Not very pleasurable experience
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had to use the restroom at the central station real bad once i came back from a long ass train ride. the janitor dude was very nice and insisted he'd clean up the only vacant stall before i step in to take a dump. one stall was locked up and the dude was clearly having a bad time, sounded like all types of textures and gasses shooting out of that guys ass and he was moaning like in pain.
so while janitor guy was cleaning out the stall the other guy finished and stepped out of his stall and holy fuck did that guy make a mess. it was bizzare because he came out clean in a suit but the whole toilet, like everything behind it and all was full of that guy's shit. dude spraypainted everything brown without visibly soiling himself even one bit. very impressive. also super disgusting. so i saw this and must have said something that made the janitor listen up and come out of the stall and janitor was of course so angry. we both gave the guy shit for fucking up that stall that bad. it was really absurd, it looked almost like he intentionally shat beside the actual toilet, going for max coverage and all. the dude's reaction was weird, as he claimed this was normal? the dude looked like an upper crust business type of guy, maybe he was just malicious and wanted to gave the janitor a hard time. unfortunately those people exist.
after that thing i felt so bad for the janitor, i took my dump in the stall he cleaned up before and tried to leave the stall as if it was brand new. and even tho this whole thing had nothing to do with me, i suffered from second hand guilt to the point where i just tipped the janitor with all the change i had in my pockets.
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Took a shit at a Home Depot today. All I could think about is how gnarly the shits gotta be of all the contractors that used that bathroom
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I work on the ground floor of a 4 story office building - there are minimal people on the ground floor.
On my floor there is the only single use bathroom in the building, with and adjacent shower room attached. Every morning I come to work, I'm the first person in, clock in, then proceed to dominate the bathroom. Afterwards, I take a long hot shower (nobody in the entire building uses it/even knows it exists.) Its amazing, my first hour of work is shitting and showering on company time.
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I'm also a weird freak who knows where the most private shitter is in my office building. It's a walk, but worth it. Pro-trip is if you're on the road, hotels are the best place to poo. The first floor often has a single person clean public bathroom. You just have to confidently walk in and pretend you know where you're going. This backfired one time when the whole first floor was being renovated.
The dude at the front desk said "Where are you going sir?" I had to collect myself and come up with a lie.
"Is this the Holiday Inn Express?" (instead of the Holiday Inn I was there to poo in).
"No that's across the road"
"Oh, I see. Do you have a bathroom I could use?"
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I have started to enjoy shitting at work. Mostly cuz my boss owes me a raise and he knows it, so I take my time dropping logs at work regularly lately. I even came up with a little jam, based on "sitting on the dock of the bay". Where I changed it to "shitting on the company's time, watching the deuce flow away. Shitting on the company's dime, wasting time".
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Mammoth Mountain – Early November.
15 minutes before the lifts open, I’m in a public restroom the size of a small house. 15 stalls minimum and probably 25 urinals. It’s very soon after opening day so the crowds are minimal. I’m sitting there stoned and offloading, optimistic that each ounce I poop will help me on the mountain.
It’s quiet and echoey and from a stall off in the distance I hear loudly, “OHHHHHH IT’S TOO WIDE” A brief pause and then me and someone else (not the troubled dumper) start cracking up. 20 years I’ve been telling that story. I even tried it once in an airport bathroom, but didn’t get the laughs.
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A few people must of had absolute nightmare shits at the world cup. Wonder what the facilities are like too bad if youre seconds from blast off and find out youre in the bathroom for the wrong type of toilet. I guess at least there's no alcohol.
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Damn, I love this thread!
When I did my internship at a big software company there was this one dude. He was in his early 50's, quite corpulent to make it sound polite and a heavy smoker. You could hear him breathe from miles away.
At 10am everybody would go for a coffee to the cafeteria. The dude would go to the smoking area, stand at a table, smoke 2-3 cigarettes, inhale some croissants and chug two big cups of black coffee. This was his morning routine every single day.
After said routine he always started to get stressed out. His skin would turn even more red and he would start sweating. He then would walk (or almost run) out the smoking lounge and head for the toilets. You wouldn't want to be in the dude's way at this moment. He always looked like it was a matter of life and death. He would just rush into the restroom as if somebody was after him.
One time I happened to be dropping a log at the very moment when he came bursting into the restroom (I was able to identify him by his loud breathing). He would not even shut the door of the stall properly and within a millisecond of hearing him sit down on the toilet I heard the gnarliest bowel explosion I had ever heard. As quickly as he released his brown he would stand up, wipe, and head out of the toilet as if nothing happened.
I then passed the smoking area on my way back to my cubicle and the guy was just posting up there smoking a cigarette as if he just had the best sex of his entire life.
Whenever I saw this guy going for his 10am bathroom nuke I would always picture him wearing a firefighter suit.
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Damn, I love this thread!
When I did my internship at a big software company there was this one dude. He was in his early 50's, quite corpulent to make it sound polite and a heavy smoker. You could hear him breathe from miles away.
At 10am everybody would go for a coffee to the cafeteria. The dude would go to the smoking area, stand at a table, smoke 2-3 cigarettes, inhale some croissants and chug two big cups of black coffee. This was his morning routine every single day.
After said routine he always started to get stressed out. His skin would turn even more red and he would start sweating. He then would walk (or almost run) out the smoking lounge and head for the toilets. You wouldn't want to be in the dude's way at this moment. He always looked like it was a matter of life and death. He would just rush into the restroom as if somebody was after him.
One time I happened to be dropping a log at the very moment when he came bursting into the restroom (I was able to identify him by his loud breathing). He would not even shut the door of the stall properly and within a millisecond of hearing him sit down on the toilet I heard the gnarliest bowel explosion I had ever heard. As quickly as he released his brown he would stand up, wipe, and head out of the toilet as if nothing happened.
I then passed the smoking area on my way back to my cubicle and the guy was just posting up there smoking a cigarette as if he just had the best sex of his entire life.
Whenever I saw this guy going for his 10am bathroom nuke I would always picture him wearing a firefighter suit.
might need his input on the "pooping vs cumming" thread
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I had just left a shit at work when the boss went into the restroom soon after. he then comes out with the most offended look on his face asking around for the last person to use the toilet. I spoke up and he told me I had to clean the “brush stroke” (my phrasing) left in the bowl.
This really perplexed me.
One, IT’S WHERE THE SHIT GOES, what’s the bfd?!
Two, What’s the bfd!